by Melody Anne
She chose not to fight him on this, or she feared he’d pick her up again. “I hate being indoors all the time. The summers in Texas were pretty miserable in the peak heat season, but I’d rather have hot, sunny days than too much snow. When I arrived here, the ground was so white that I didn’t even know where the roads were. I was more than relieved when the stuff began melting away and the sun came out.”
“Yeah, I guess if you’re not used to it, it can be a bit overwhelming. But when you live here long enough, you learn how to adapt. There are a lot of fun winter activities to do here, too,” he said as he opened his truck door for her and held out a hand to help her up.
She ignored the hand and grabbed the handle above the door and hoisted herself into his mammoth truck, then buckled up while he shut the door and went around to the driver’s side.
“What kind of activities can you do without freezing to death?”
“There’s snowboarding, snowmobiling, ice fishing, winter camping . . .” He paused and she jumped in.
“Winter camping? What in the world is that?” Nothing pleasant, she was sure.
“As much as you love the outdoors, you’ve never been winter camping?”
“No. Who in the world would go camping in the winter? That sounds like something miserable our ancestors had to endure while traveling to a new home.”
“I know. We’ve actually laughed about that before. My brothers and I love to camp. The people traveling westward across the States would have thought we were crazy. Why would we leave homes with electricity and real heat to go up into the wilderness? It’s simple, though. Camping is all about letting go of the world and going to an area that feels untouched. In the winter there are even fewer people, and for just a small moment in time, it feels like you’re the only ones there.”
“But what can you do besides freeze to death?” It actually did sound kind of nice to be away from everyone, and now she was curious.
“We’ve done all sorts of things, like snowshoeing, skiing, snowboarding, ice fishing, hunting. But the best part is the night. Sure, it gets darker much earlier in the winter, and it’s so damn cold, but that turns out to be a good thing. We set up our shelters, build a huge fire, and talk for hours while having dinner and hot drinks. When we were young, our dad would scare the crap out of us with ghost stories and talking about alien abductions.”
“Alien abductions?” she asked with a laugh. “Really?”
“Hey, don’t knock it,” he said with his own laugh. “I swear he had us convinced one night that a light in the sky was a UFO. I’m still not convinced otherwise,” he added with a wink.
“Well, it sounds like I’m going to have to try winter camping,” she told him as they pulled up to the doctor’s office.
“I will be glad to take you,” he said, shutting off the truck and jumping out, then rushing around to her side to open the door before she could.
“I think we will both be doing separate things by winter, Jackson.” She needed to maintain some distance with this man, because each day she was with him, she was finding that task just a little bit harder.
“I’ll just have to disagree with you on that.”
She left Jackson in the waiting room and went back to see her doctor. The news wasn’t good. He wanted her to stay off work for at least one more week. She’d developed a slight bleed that wasn’t going away, and her blood pressure was high. It wasn’t from being pushed down, he didn’t think, just a symptom of pregnancy. Her second trimester wasn’t being good to her.
Slightly depressed as she walked back out to Jackson, she climbed into the truck without saying much. For once, he didn’t fill the silence with small talk. When they reached her house, she didn’t try to fight him when he lifted her into his arms again and carried her up the stairs.
The trip had worn her out, and Alyssa quickly removed her coat and shoes and climbed into bed. Jackson hovered over her looking like he wanted to say something. She waited, knowing he wouldn’t leave without getting off his chest whatever it was.
“I can see you’re tired and depressed, but keep your head up. This won’t last forever,” he said, and she was surprised that was all. “I’ll come see you again tomorrow, Alyssa.”
With that, he bent down and softly kissed her, then turned and walked from the room, leaving her lips tingling and her body slightly achy. When after a half hour she wasn’t able to fall asleep, she sat up in bed and grabbed her journal and pen from the nightstand drawer.
An hour passed before she was finished writing, and she felt much better after ranting in the safest place she knew of. Yes, she was still completely muddled about her feelings about Jackson, and she still wasn’t sure when she would tell him the truth, but over the past few days she had figured out that she would eventually have to tell him.
Knowing the man made it impossible for her to justify keeping the secret.
“You have a visitor, Alyssa.”
“Thanks for telling me this time,” Alyssa muttered, but it was to no avail. Before Alyssa could finish speaking, her mother was gone and Jackson was strolling through her doorway, his arms full with two gigantic bags. It was more than obvious that her mother was in love with Jackson and Alyssa could see the wheels turning in both her parents’ heads.
Their daughter was pregnant and alone. Jackson was making it more than clear to them that he was sticking around. Of course, they didn’t know that he wanted to continue their affair and was willing to take her, baby and all, to do that. What they were hoping would last forever was in reality going to last only until he grew bored with the game. And, knowing him, that wouldn’t take long.
She had to tell her mother the truth, but how could she do that? If she wasn’t yet willing to tell Jackson that the baby she carried was his, how could she tell her parents? She was sure if they knew he was the father, they’d be marching the two of them down the aisle, perhaps with a shotgun at both of their backs. Neither she nor Jackson would be happy with that arrangement.
“What are you up to now, Jackson?” she asked as she pulled her blankets a little higher. This was even more perfect. She was lying in bed in her favorite flannel pajamas, her hair sticking out in all directions, and without a lick of makeup on. But who cared, right? She wasn’t trying to impress him. She’d known he would show up. If she’d been concerned, she would have tried to doll herself up a bit.
Still, she lifted her hand self-consciously and tried to tame her hair. Bed rest wasn’t conductive to feeling beautiful—or to getting better, from what she’d read. What she wouldn’t give for a day at the spa. That was her first order of business when she could finally get out of the house again.
“I told you I’d be back, and this time I’ve brought goodies so you won’t be bored. The doctor said one week, right?”
“No. He said that it would be a minimum of one week, but most likely two. You can’t fire me because of this,” she hastened to add. “I have a doctor’s note.”
“As much as I would rather you weren’t working at the saloon, I won’t fire you, Alyssa. I’m not a demon,” he said as he finally set the bags down on the side of her bed.
Alyssa was dying to look inside them, but she hardly wanted to seem too eager. That would give him another leg up in their silent competition, with the prize going to the most stubborn.
“I see the sparkle in your eyes. Go ahead and see what I’ve brought. Since you so accurately pointed out that I don’t know you, I’ve tried guessing. This way, if I made a few wrong choices, you still have a lot to choose from.”
Damn him for looking far too adorable with his mussed hair and gleaming eyes as he sat at the foot of her bed.
Alyssa’s curiosity got the better of her, and, pulling one of the bags closer, she took out several puzzle books—she loved the things, but she wouldn’t admit it to him—plus more chocolates, caramels, fruit candies—every variety, it seemed—and finally a dozen novels, the covers all featuring gorgeous couples in passionate embraces with very little clothing o
n. The romances made her blush.
The next bag had lotion, more snacks, warm, fuzzy socks, and beautiful maternity pajamas. She wondered who’d helped him pick those out.
“You bought me pajamas?”
“Well, you are on bed rest. I figure it’s what you’ll be wearing for the foreseeable future. Hawk Winchester’s wife, Natalie, told me that women like silky jammies,” he said, and his own cheeks seemed to turn a little pink.
“Wow, Jackson, you really didn’t need to do all of this.” Alyssa was surprised that she was having a difficult time not choking up.
“I wanted to.”
“Thank you, but please, don’t do it again. There’s enough stuff here to entertain me for the rest of my pregnancy.”
“I find I like getting gifts for you. The romance novels were a little hard to explain to the clerk. But once I told her what I was doing, she was more than happy to help, and said these were bestsellers with ‘real steamy scenes’—her words, not mine.”
“Want to read one? I’ve always thought men should read romance. Then maybe they’d know how to treat a woman, and learn what not to do.”
“Baby, I don’t need to read a romance. I know exactly what to do with a woman.”
“Oh, you mean follow her around until she caves in to your demands? Yes, I see advice columnists tell that to stalkers all the time. And of course would-be lotharios are always told to hog the remote control in a woman’s own bedroom.”
But she did have to agree with him in part, though she had to think back almost five months. He knew just how to stroke a woman’s body to give her the ultimate pleasure. The mere thought made her breasts tingle and her nipples harden. She was grateful for the thick pajamas and thicker blankets protecting her from his view.
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” he said before pausing and looking concerned. “Is that what you really think?”
He could have been a gentleman and dropped the subject, but she was learning that Jackson was anything but a gentleman.
“No comment.”
“I’ll take the sparkle in your eyes and the quickening of your breath as definite proof that you have no problems with my skills as a lover.”
“You are so cocky. Did that take years of practice, or is it something that just comes naturally to you?”
“Baby, when you’re good, you know it.”
“I guess that means you practice a lot.”
The narrowing of his eyes gave her great satisfaction.
“You can fight me all you want, but I like being around you. I’ve decided to hang out—a lot. At least until you give me what I want,” he said with a gleam in his eyes.
“Is that a threat?”
“Oh, no, Alyssa. I would never threaten you. I have only the best of intentions when it comes to us.”
“Well, it’s certainly not a promise.”
“I’m like a fine wine: the longer I age, the better I am. You see, the more you’re around me, the more you’ll want to be.”
“Did you honestly just say that?” Her jaw had dropped, and nothing she did could get her mouth to close.
“I have all sorts of lines, love.”
“You actually seem proud of yourself for that, Jackson. I’m flabbergasted.”
“I bought romance books. Doesn’t that tell you how much effort I’m putting into our relationship?”
“First of all, we aren’t in a relationship, and second, would you like a pat on the back for understanding the heart of a woman?” She spoke with enough sarcasm that even he couldn’t miss it, thick skull or not.
“Well . . .” His tone implied he wanted a heck of a lot more than a pat on the back.
“Jackson Whitman, I would leave right now if I were you. I mean it. Right now! The words coming out of your mouth certainly aren’t winning you any points. At least I have these puzzle books to occupy me, so maybe, just maybe, I’ll forget this conversation ever happened.”
“I can see that you want to play with your new toys. Don’t worry, I’ll be back real soon, and I’ll come bearing more gifts.” Jackson stood up and, to her utter amazement, bent down and kissed her.
Alyssa was dumbfounded. By the time she came up with a scathing reply, he was long gone. Next time she’d be more than ready for him.
“What in the world are you doing, Jackson?”
Jackson turned to find his brother Michael looking at him . . . and gaping. Busted looking at car seats and fairy wing thingies for infants! Jackson had to fight to suppress a raging blush.
“Um . . . can you just pretend you didn’t see me here in the baby section?” Jackson asked hopefully. He was in no way ready to explain any of this to his family.
“Yeah, I can guarantee you there’s no chance at all of that happening,” Michael said as he took a stance and folded his arms. He wasn’t going anywhere until Jackson spilled his guts.
“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Jackson told him firmly.
“Okay, I guess I can go home and tell Dad I saw you looking through baby items. It looks like he finally may get to be a grandfather,” Michael said, and he turned as if about to leave.
“Stop!” Jackson yelled, winning a dirty look from a passing customer whose baby had just started to cry. “Sorry,” he muttered, then chased after Michael.
“I’m heading to my car now,” Michael said, and Jackson couldn’t tell whether he was bluffing or not. The thing with his brothers, though, was that even if they were bluffing, they had no problem throwing each other under the bus. So if Jackson didn’t give Michael something, his brother would indeed run home and tell his father where Jackson had been.
The two of them stepped out of the store in Billings and Jackson grabbed his arm. “Come with me to lunch and I’ll tell you everything,” Jackson said with a resigned sigh.
“I’ll take a free meal,” Michael said as he started following Jackson back to the parking lot. “Don’t even think about not bringing me back here for my truck, though.”
Jackson was seriously considering it. They jumped into his truck and he took them downtown to a bar he liked that served pretty damn good burgers and played great music.
After ordering a beer and their meal, Michael leaned back expectantly, waiting for Jackson to spill all. There was no way around it, and maybe it would help to talk to someone, ’cause he sure as hell didn’t know what he was doing half the time.
“You know Alyssa Gerard, right?” he began.
“Yeah, the waitress at the Country Saloon. She’s a great girl,” he said before his eyes widened. “What in the hell have you done to her? You only met a few weeks ago.”
“That’s not true, actually. We met on New Year’s Eve on a flight back from Paris. We had a delay, and well—” Jackson broke off, feeling guilty for saying anything. He would have to punch Michael if he thought anything bad about Alyssa.
“You met on New Year’s and bedded her,” Michael said with another glare.
“It wasn’t like that,” Jackson said, trying desperately to defend himself, but his brothers knew him well, and knew what he thought about women. They were for one purpose and one purpose only.
“Really? You suddenly had a change? You met her and talked all night? Didn’t have sex?”
Squirming a bit beneath his brother’s sarcastic questions, Jackson suddenly didn’t know what to say. Yes, it had started out the way it always did. But there’d been something different with her.
“Well, we did have sex, but before you jump all over me, let me explain. We talked. I mean, we really talked, Michael, like I haven’t talked to another woman. I found myself liking her. When I woke up the next day, she was gone, and I figured I’d never see her again, and then a few weeks ago, I walked in that bar and there she was,” Jackson said.
“Damn, Jackson. It sounds like you really are into this woman,” Michael said with wonder.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I mean, I do like her, and I want to be with her, but I’m not into an
y woman,” Jackson said, immediately trying to backtrack.
“Okay, whatever. But still, none of that explains why you were in the baby section of a retail shop,” Michael said, not buying Jackson’s words even a little bit. Their waitress set down their food and then disappeared as Jackson tried to think of his next words.
“She’s pregnant. About five months pregnant, and I know the fact that’s she’s pregnant should scare the shit out of me and have me running for the hills, but I can’t get this woman from my head. It’s just a baby—it’s not like that changes things.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Michael looked at him silently for several heartbeats before he began guffawing. “Did you honestly just say that? Really, Jackson? And people think you’re the smart one . . .” he said in between fits of laughter that had Jackson clenching his teeth.
“What in the hell do you find so funny?” Jackson had lost all appetite, so he ignored the food in favor of chugging his beer.
“A baby changes everything, you dumb ass. They are messy and demanding, and the world revolves around them. Don’t you remember?” Michael instantly stopped and his laughter died. No one ever talked about Jackson’s daughter. It was just too painful to bring up.
“Yes, I remember,” Jackson said, a deep sadness forever locked inside him. Instead of replying to what Michael had said, he went off on another tack. “But I think I’m moving on. Really moving on. I will never forget Olivia. She was my beautiful girl. I just realize that I have to let her go.”
“I’m glad you’re healing, Jackson. Truly, I am,” Michael said as he reached out a hand and patted Jackson’s shoulder before he leaned back. “But you can’t play games with a pregnant woman. If you’re not thinking about forever, you have no business being with her.”
Jackson knew deep down that his brother was right, but if he said those words aloud, admitted the truth of that statement, that would mean he’d have to walk away from Alyssa, didn’t it? Because he was in no way ready to admit to deeper feelings for the woman other than lust. To admit to that would mean he was weak, would mean that Alyssa had the power to hurt him.