Behind Her Smile
Page 13
When she met him at his car after school, he seemed a little down. “What’s the matter?” she asked as they drove out of the parking lot.
“Nothing,” he replied with a deep sigh.
She could tell something was really wrong, but he clearly didn’t want to talk about it. As he began driving toward her house, she asked, “What about shopping?”
“Could we skip it for today?” he asked, staring out the windshield with a brooding expression.
“Sure.”
They drove on in silence for the last few minutes. As he pulled up to the curb in front of the house and shut off the motor, he turned to her and his expression really frightened her. His eyes were dark and hopelessness shrouded them.
“What is it?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”
He leaned over and kissed her, gently at first and then almost desperately. “I need you, Maddie. You are the only good thing in my life.”
The intensity in his voice and expression scared her. “I love you, Miles. You know I’m here for you,” she replied, fighting back the wave of anxiety threatening to overtake her.
He pulled her close and kissed her again, his hands groping for her as if he couldn’t get close enough. “Not here. Not in the car. The neighbors might see,” she said. She reached over and opened her door. “Come on. Let’s go inside.” Shopping was definitely not going to be a happening thing today. And neither was the condom discussion.
Pulling him over to the couch in the living room, she tugged on his hand to sit down beside her. “Do you want to tell me what had you so upset?” she asked softly.
“It’s my mom. Her jerk of a boyfriend from Dallas just called. He’s on his way here.”
“Really? How does your mom feel about that?” she asked.
“She says she couldn’t care less, but I know differently. As soon as Buck shows up on the doorstep, she’ll be back under his thumb. The guy’s a total control freak, and she lets him take over her life every time they get back together.”
“How does he act toward you?”
“Like I’m in the way. A bother.” He paused. “But I don’t care what he thinks about me. It’s my mom I’m worried about.”
Madison nodded. “Can’t you tell her that? I mean really explain how concerned you are?”
He shook his head and gently pushed her away as he sat up. “She won’t listen to me. Or to anyone else for that matter. Her best friend tried to tell her what a loser the guy is, but mom just told her she didn’t know him—the real Buck. Right.” He stood and pulled on his jeans. “I’d better get home,” he added.
Just then the sound of the garage door opening caused Madison to glance at the clock. “My mom’s here.”
Michelle walked into the kitchen and called out, “Maddie? Are you home?”
“In here, Mom.”
As her mother came through the dining room, Madison stood to her feet. “Miles gave me a ride home.”
Michelle greeted Miles and asked, “Would you like to stay for dinner? We’re eating early because I’m having coffee with my mom this evening.”
“Oh, no, I’m leaving in just a few minutes,” he replied. Glancing over at Madison, he added, “In fact, I’d better get going right now.” He stood and held out his hand to her. “Walk me to the car?”
“Sure,” she said, lacing her fingers through his. “Be right back,” she told her mother.
Sheila Chambers glanced at her watch. Michelle was ten minutes late. She and her daughter tried to meet for coffee twice a month to keep up with each other’s lives. It seemed like Thursday nights were best for both of them. Sheila’s husband, Rick, taught a night class on Thursdays, and Michelle liked the idea of Thursdays since her classes usually had tests Fridays, meaning she had a fairly easy routine the following day. So they’d set aside the first and third Thursdays as their mother-daughter date nights.
Sipping her hazelnut latte, Sheila thought about her afternoon and her visit with her mother. Sheila was struggling to find the right part-time caregiver. Eighty-nine-year-old Joan was still full of life and love, but her memory was slipping more and more. The important things were still there—the names of all her loved ones, the basic routines of daily living, and of course all of the past. But she’d become increasingly forgetful about appointments and had left the stove or oven on several times. It worried Sheila, knowing her mother was alone and might actually start a fire by accident.
A bell chime signaled the opening of the front door of the Coffee Stop, and Sheila looked up to see Michelle hurrying inside. “Hi, Mom,” her daughter said breathlessly. “Sorry I’m late.” She pulled out her wallet. “I’ll grab my coffee and be right back.”
Sheila smiled and nodded. “Take your time, dear. No rush.”
When Michelle returned a couple of minutes later, she was carrying a tray with her coffee and two slices of pecan pie. “I couldn’t resist,” she said with a wink, placing one plate in front of Sheila as she settled into the seat across from her. “And no fussing about any diets,” she warned. “I get enough of that with Madison.”
“How is Maddie these days?” Sheila asked, sharing her daughter’s concern about Madison’s obsession with diet and exercise.
“You know, Mom, I’m not exactly sure.” Michelle paused before continuing. “I guess right now, her boyfriend is my biggest concern.”
“Really? That new boy…Mike?”
“Miles.”
“Oh, yes. Miles. So tell me what’s got you so worried.” Sheila took a bite of her pie, and then studied her daughter’s face.
Gazing off into space as if searching for answers, Michelle finally replied, “I just don’t trust him.”
“But you trust Madison, right?” Sheila asked.
Michelle turned and looked her in the eye. “You know, Mom, I’m not really sure.” She hesitated a moment and then added, “I’ve just got a gut level feeling that something’s not right with Madison. And I think it has something to do with her relationship with Miles.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“Not really. There’s nothing specific I can say, yet. But she just doesn’t seem like herself. She’s edgy and more quiet than normal. Plus, she doesn’t seem to have much appetite. It was one thing when she was trying to diet. I could see her fighting her appetite then. Now, it’s like she has to fight to eat instead.”
A shadow of concern settled on Sheila’s spirit. Madison was her only granddaughter and the first grandchild. She held a special spot in Sheila’s heart. “Have you discussed this with Steve?” she asked.
“Numerous times. But he’s got a lot on his plate right now at work. We’ve both talked to her, and she knows she’s not allowed to be alone with Miles, other than to get a ride home. We’ve urged her to keep the relationship light, especially since Miles is not a Christian. As far as I know, she’s taken that to heart. But I’ve got this feeling something’s really troubling her. Mother’s intuition, I guess.”
“Well, don’t downplay that, Mimi. God often reveals things to mothers in ways we can’t always explain. I think you should have another heart-to-heart with her. Just approach it casually and see where it leads,” she suggested.
Michelle nodded. “You’re right. I do need to talk to her again.” She sank back in her chair, cupping her coffee in her hands. “So how are things with you and Rick?”
Sheila smiled, thinking once again about how thankful she was for the unexpected joy of a second chance at love and marriage. Although she was a grandmother to a teenager, she often felt like a young girl herself, as she reveled in being a newlywed. The past few years had gone by so quickly, but she still eagerly looked forward to Rick’s smile and kiss when he returned home each day.
“We’re doing well,” she said. “Rick spoils me with his attention. Not that I’m complaining,” she added with a grin.
“You two are like little lovebirds,” Michelle replied. “I’m jealous,” she added, teasingly.
Sheila felt h
erself blush. “I guess we are,” she admitted.
“You deserve it, Mom. Really. After all you went through with Dad, I’m so glad this has worked out for you.”
“Thanks, honey. You know how much I loved your father. But Rick and I have something that’s…well…it’s hard to explain. There was a part of your dad that I could never quite reach. Even after everything that happened,” she said, thinking about John’s final years and how much closer they’d grown. “It’s easy with Rick. We don’t have any walls.” She paused, grasping for the best way to convey what she had with her new husband. “It’s like we are too old for games, and we want to know each other completely and honestly.”
“That’s wonderful. I can see he feels the same way as you do. Whenever he’s around, he is so attentive and interested in all that you say and do. It really makes me happy,” Michelle said. “I’m sure he never thought he’d find this kind of love either.”
Her daughter’s words meant so much to Sheila. To know that someone else could see the unique treasure of her relationship with Rick made it all the more real and special.
“So how’s Grandma doing?” Michelle asked.
And the cloud of concern returned. “She’s okay, physically. But I’m noticing more and more memory issues with her,” Sheila confided. “The other day when I dropped by to pick her up, I went to get a glass of water in the kitchen and discovered that the oven was on. When I asked your grandmother about what she’d been cooking, she couldn’t remember. I saw a plate with some cookie crumbs on it, and asked if she’d been baking. Then she remembered that she’d made cookies the night before. So that oven was on all night.”
Michelle winced. “Not good.”
“Not at all,” Sheila agreed. Much as she wanted to encourage her mother to keep her independence, safety was another issue altogether.
“I could try to go by there on my way home from school to check on her if you’d like,” Michelle offered.
“You’ve got enough to deal with, Mimi. I just need to figure out the best way to provide caregiving. Your grandmother never wants to inconvenience anyone, and I know she’ll be worried about that if I’m over there all the time.”
“How about if I go by twice a week. That would break it up a little. And you could go two or three times. Then maybe we could arrange for someone else to help out in between our visits. I’ve been telling Grandma she should get a housekeeper. Maybe my gal could go once a week and clean and check on things.”
“Oh, that sounds like a great plan. But are you sure you want to commit to going over there twice a week? I don’t want this to become a burden for you, honey.” Sheila looked her daughter in the eye, and Michelle nodded.
“I want to do it, Mom. I wouldn’t offer otherwise. Grandma is one of my favorite people. It’ll be good to have the discipline of a regular schedule to keep me seeing her during the school year. Sign me up for Tuesdays and Fridays. And I’ll ask my cleaning lady about what day would be good for her.”
The cloud lifted, and Sheila felt a surge of relief. God was certainly good to her. She could never thank Him enough. But as she drove home, Michelle’s concerns about Madison resurfaced. “Rick and I need to pray for Maddie,” she said in a whisper. Wow. What a gift to have a husband I can pray with, she thought as she pulled into their driveway.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“So how serious are you and Miles getting?” Lucy asked on Saturday afternoon, as she and Madison paged through some magazines in her room.
Madison seemed to be trying to figure out what to say. “I guess we’re pretty serious, why?”
“Just wondering. I mean I hardly ever see you after school anymore. You two disappear pretty quickly right after class ends.” She missed hanging out with Madison after school, but didn’t want to be a drag about it.
“Yeah. He likes to get off campus before the parking lot gets crowded.”
“So what do you do when you leave school?” she asked.
Madison turned away from her, standing up and walking over to her closet. “Just stuff. We come over here and hang out usually. You know, watch TV. Stuff like that.”
“Oh. You’re lucky your parents don’t make a big deal about you two being alone together. My parents are so strict. They’d freak out if I had a boy at the house when they weren’t home.”
Madison nodded. “Yeah. Well, my mom gets home about an hour after we do, so it’s not like we are here that long by ourselves.” Without going on to explain that Miles usually left before her mother got home, she changed the subject by handing a magazine to Lucy. “So what do think of this outfit?” she asked, pointing to a model wearing a tight, shimmery dress.
“Looks good on her,” she replied. “It’s a little too fitted for my taste,” she added. “Now this is more like me.” She pointed to a picture on the opposing page, and soon they were lost in a fashion discussion.
That night, Lucy decided to write to her brother. She told Luke about Madison’s relationship with Miles getting pretty serious. Why am I telling him all this? she thought to herself. But something nudged her to tell him she was concerned. Even though Madison seemed happy, she also seemed different. Somehow more serious. Older or something. She tried to explain it in the letter, knowing that Luke really cared about Madison, too.
Five days later, Luke was walking back to his dorm room with his new friend, Autumn, when he decided to stop by the mailboxes in the student union. Their relationship had progressed faster than he intended, and although he liked her a lot, he wanted to be sure they didn’t get ahead of themselves or rush into a commitment because of their obvious chemistry. So far, the relationship had not progressed beyond holding hands and spending much of their free time together. But he knew she wanted to take it to the next level.
His goal was to focus on school as much as possible, and to avoid being alone with her for any significant periods of time. His attraction to her was compelling, and he could easily be drawn into a serious physical relationship if he didn’t keep his guard up.
As he pulled the mail out of his box, he found himself hoping to see something from Madison. He’d written her over a week ago and was still waiting for a reply. Instead he found an envelope from Lucy. Interesting, he thought. She usually just emails me.
“What is it?” Autumn asked, leaning in to look at the envelope.
“Just a letter from my sister.”
She smiled and looked relieved. “Oh. That’s nice.”
They walked across the campus toward the dorms. The mid-western brilliant fall colors were beautiful as they crunched dried leaves under their feet. Much as Luke was coming to love this place, he suddenly felt homesick. Maybe it was the letter from Lucy. Or the absence of the fragrance of salt air. But in his loneliness, he pulled Autumn close, and she wrapped her arm tightly around his waist.
“Wanna go get burgers?” she asked.
“Yeah. That sounds good,” he replied. They strolled over to her car, and he stuffed his mail into his backpack, tossing it onto the back seat.
They spent an hour at the burger joint, eating and talking. But Luke’s spirits were still down. “We’d better get back,” he said. “I’ve got homework I need to get started with.”
“Are you sure? We could go somewhere else and just be alone. You know, to talk,” she suggested.
He shook his head. “Thanks, but I’d better get back to the dorm.”
“Okay,” she replied, sounding disappointed.
When she dropped him off at his dorm, she said, “Call me later, if you need a break, or just someone to talk to.”
“I will,” he promised, grabbing his backpack and heading to his room.
As he settled on his bed and pulled his books out of his backpack, he spotted Lucy’s letter. Pushing everything else aside, he sat back and opened it. As he read the familiar handwriting, his stomach began to tighten.
So Madison and her boyfriend are getting really serious, I guess. He drives her home from school everyday and they
hang out at her house. Madison’s changing. She seems different, like she’s suddenly older or something. I can’t exactly explain it. But she doesn’t seem like herself. I still like hanging out with her whenever she has time for me. But you should see her, Luke. I mean she dresses differently and everything. I hope she doesn’t get into some kind of trouble with this guy. He’s nice, but I just don’t trust him. Maybe I’m crazy. Madison says she’s really happy, so I guess that’s what matters.
Just the mention of Madison triggered an onslaught of images in Luke’s mind. Her sweet smile, her wide-eyed innocence, and her lighthearted ways. What was happening to her? Not too long ago, Lucy had emailed him about Madison’s dieting. Now it was her boyfriend and her new ways of dressing. Lucy wasn’t perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. But she was pretty savvy about people. If she didn’t trust Miles, there was probably a good reason. And her concerns about Madison made him even more homesick.
Why was that? And what exactly did he feel for her? Closing his eyes, he tried to think back over their friendship. There’d been times he’d felt something special, a spark of some kind between them. But there was also such a familiarity and playfulness to their relationship, like brother and sister combined with best friend. He’d shelved any feelings of attraction when he’d moved from middle school to high school. Their lives were in such different realms at that point. And with their families so close, being pals seemed more appropriate.
But was that what he really wanted? And what about her? Lucy said she was pretty hooked on this Miles guy. But if he wasn’t good for her, like Lucy insinuated, should Luke reach out and say or do something?
And what about Autumn? Where did she fit into all of this?
He stood up and raked his fingers through his hair. Pacing the room, he finally grabbed his jacket and headed outside to walk and pray. For the next hour, he searched his heart and pleaded with God for answers. By the time he got back to his room, he had one of them. He needed to halt his relationship with Autumn. At least until he better understood the feelings toward Madison he was now beginning to acknowledge.