The Swarm Trilogy
Page 38
“It was me,” I confessed.
Something tapped my arm. A small velvet bag dangled from Chase’s forefinger. My hands fumbled at my hip, but found air where my bag usually hung.
“I found this in the forest.” He grabbed my hands, bringing us both to a stop. “Thank you for telling me the truth before I had to force it on you.”
I snatched the bag, my hands shaking. “Does your mother know?” I asked even though I already knew the answer. Half of the conversation wouldn’t have happened if she did.
Chase shook his head. He took the bag back out of my hand. His gentle fingers pulled the drawstrings through my belt. Then he tied it, knotting the strings twice. I wished I would have thought to double knot it myself this morning.
His hands hesitated for a moment on my hips. His fingers barely grazed the leather of my pants, but I felt his touch like a bolt of lightning. Before I had even a moment to react, he pulled back. My heart pounded and I licked my lips, trying desperately to counteract the feeling I’d just been struck.
“I didn’t tell her. I wanted to talk to you first. What did you see there?”
We continued walking down the hall, both pretending nothing had just happened between us. If my palms weren’t sweating so hard, I might have thought the moment was only in my imagination. I could tell by his quick breaths that it wasn’t just me.
“Not here.” I grabbed his hand, dragging him faster down the hall, toward our chambers. Mine. I mentally corrected myself. I had forgotten he’d moved out that morning.
I cursed myself for not wiping my palm first. He’d feel my sweaty palm and probably be grossed out. Instead of letting go, he squeezed my hand tightly as we ran through the hall. I felt a sense of urgency. Not a moment could be wasted anymore.
Elessia’s final message that the Malborn army was coming for me soon, finding my mother and Mags hidden in a community founded on forgetfulness, and knowing that every second that slipped by led me closer to an ending of some kind that I didn’t even understand. Why anyone was entrusting the fate of the world to me was beyond my understanding. I was more confused and clueless now than I was months ago, before all of this started.
Chase flung open the door to my chamber, dragging me in behind him. I looked both ways and let out a sigh of relief. No one had seen us in such a hurry. The last thing we needed was more prying eyes and gossip.
He let go of my hand. A momentary pang touched my heart as he sat on a chair across the room. His hands folded together, elbows resting on his knees, he stared at me in rapt attention.
“When I rode up on Aphotica, I wasn’t sure what to make of the village. It was really odd, Chase. There were a few cottages, set up in the middle of a cleared field. There wasn’t a road leading to it at all. The first person to come out was my mother, of all people.”
“I’ve often thought about what that would be like,” Chase said under his breath. He stood up and circled the chair. “If I wouldn’t have asked Eloh to let my mother remember, I would know exactly how you feel.”
Chase grabbed the pitcher, poured a cup of water, and handed it to me. I hadn’t even realized I was parched until I took a quick sip. I tilted the cup up, swallowing a large gulp. A bit of water slid over the rim. It trailed down to my chin before I could wipe it away.
“Attractive,” Chase said.
I stuck out my tongue at him.
“Thanks for the water,” I said. Chase took a long drink and then I continued. “My mother wasn’t the only surprise I found in the camp. Mags is there too.”
“Excuse me?” Chase asked. He slammed the cup down on the table. “She can’t be. I set her up in Keree months ago. It’s a nearby town, the one that Johna’s from. I made sure Mags had a home and enough money to last her for at least a year.”
“It was her. She had Trevin in her arms. She said her name was Anne and his was Charles. It was so bizarre, Chase.” I frowned. “Do you think she gave up her memories willingly? I could understand wanting to forget seeing Aric’s head on a table, dripping with blood, but to voluntarily give up the memory of her two older sons…” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I just can’t imagine she’d do that.”
Chase nodded. “That was all she talked about when I ported her to Keree. She kept asking about her sons and when we were going to rescue them from the Dalagan invaders. I don’t believe she’d give up, either.”
The leather laces on Chase’s shirt hung loose at the collar, exposing the top of his muscular chest. I had to force my eyes back up to his face. My instincts screamed at me to grab him, but I forced myself to hold back. “Then who did this to her?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.” Chase slammed the side of his fist against the stone wall. “Why do there have to be more mysteries? You and I have enough to deal with right now. We have to stop the Malborn army, untangle the Fithian mess, and work out the meaning of Wren’s prediction and your role in it.”
I messed with a red thread hanging from the bottom of my leather vest. “At least we don’t have to do it alone.”
Chase didn’t respond right away, but when he did, his voice was deeper than I’d ever heard before. “You will never be alone again, Lianne. Never.”
For a moment I thought about asking for that kiss. My skin tingled with a cold rush of anticipation. I could. I glanced up at Chase.
If I approached him, it would mean something. It would mean far more to him than it would to me. I had feelings for him, but without sorting them out, without understanding, I knew that any physical connection now wouldn’t be equal between us.
I took a deep breath, not just to calm myself, but also to let him know I was moving past the moment. His tensed shoulders relaxed and he sat back down in the chair. “There’s something else I haven’t told you. After Elessia passed yesterday, I had a vision of Eloh,” I said.
Chase’s eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t utter even one question. Of course not. His mother was known for communing with the goddess. He wouldn’t think it was strange.
“She told me to look for the one whose mind is clear.” I paused, hoping he’d chime in with a solution. Instead, he shook his head, clearly as confused as I’d been. “I think it might be my mother.”
Chase stood up, shoving the chair backward. He strode across the room and took my shoulders in his hands. “You will not go near her again under any circumstances. I don’t care what Eloh told you, Lianne. It has to be someone else.”
I pulled back from his tight grasp. “Who? Do you have an idea, then?” My shoulders tingled. I rubbed my shoulder, slowly bringing back the feeling to it.
“Did I hurt you? I am so, so sorry Lianne.” He stepped backward, his hands in the air. “When you said you thought Eloh wanted you to seek out your mother, I couldn’t even fathom letting you go anywhere near her. After everything she did to you…” His voice trailed off. He buried his hands in his pockets.
It was a clear move of acquiescence. Chase knew how well I’d been trained in combat. Keeping his hands behind him like that left him wide open to attack. It was his subtle way of telling me he was sorry and wouldn’t blame me if I attacked. Lucky for him, I was trying not to react physically these days. A few months ago, I probably would have punched him or swept his leg, dropping him to the ground. Today I took a gentler approach.
“Thank you for trying to protect me.”
Chase’s eyes popped wide open. “I thought you were going to hit me.”
“I’m trying to change.”
He laughed, his chest heaving up and down with each deep breath.
“What?” The magic inside me started to boil. Why was it so funny?
“You?” He pointed at me, still laughing as if I’d told the funniest joke ever. “I can’t imagine a Lianne who didn’t strike back when someone pissed her off.”
My right hand crunched into a fist. My arm shook. I wouldn’t do it.
The corners of C
hase’s mouth turned upward. He winked at me, and then beckoned with his finger. I shook my head, holding my ground. “Not taking the bait.”
“C’mon, Lianne. You haven’t sparred in ages.” He tapped his chin with a finger. “That must be it. You’re out of practice and scared I’ll rebuff every attack. I bet you’re afraid you’ve lost your skills.”
He was right. I had gotten soft since Bryden’s death. First my grief locked me in an impenetrable cocoon. I stopped meditating, even though it might have been the one thing that brought me peace. As time went on, there was no regular routine anymore.
I snapped my fist toward his face, but he easily moved to the side. I spun, kicking my foot straight at his gut. Instead of landing a solid blow, he grabbed my booted ankle, my heel inches from his shirt. All he had to do was twist to the side and I’d be the one on the floor. Instead he held on. I balanced easily on one foot, glad that I’d retained some control.
I twisted to the side, releasing my ankle from his grasp. I spun around, dropping both feet on the floor.
“Impressive,” he said, his eyes glinting.
My knees bent, I crouched in a ready position. Both of my fists hovered in front of my face. I felt the familiar feeling of strength flow through my limbs.
Chase held up both hands, motioning toward him with his fingers.
I smiled, and then attacked.
He blocked my roundhouse kick, but my fist backhanded him on the face. Chase wiped the back of his hand under his nose, a small amount of blood trailed across his skin. His eyes looked over my shoulder, popping open in surprise.
I twisted around, wondering who’d wandered into our room to cause that kind of reaction from Chase. Before I knew what was happening, he wrapped his arms around my upper body, locking me against him. “Try getting out of this one,” he whispered in my ear.
“There wasn’t anyone over there,” I snarled back.
“The world isn’t fair. Deal with it.”
Without an ounce of hesitation, I stomped on his toes with my heel. His grasp loosened. I took advantage of his surprise to backhand him on his already injured nose. Out of instinct, my fist fell lower and I rammed it into his crotch.
“Ooof!” He yelled, and then he collapsed to the floor.
I dropped down next to him. “I’m so sorry, Chase. Are you okay?” I stroked his hair, cupping his cheek with my other hand. “It was an instinct, I swear. I didn’t mean to hurt you so bad.”
He let out a long breath, squeezing his eyes together. “It’s okay. I was hoping your instincts would take over, but I didn’t quite expect that.”
Chase sat up, slowly, grabbed the arm of the nearest chair and hoisted himself to standing. I stood up, taking his arm in my hands. “Can I help you walk? Do you want to sit down?”
He shook his arm free. “That’s not the hardest I’ve ever been hit there. I’ll be alright.” Chase walked carefully toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
He turned and beckoned me closer. I obliged. What else could I do? I’d just walloped his private parts. I owed him at least that.
“I’m going to find a way to get past that gifted barrier. You’ll see your mother and find out if she’s the one Eloh was talking about.”
My eyes widened. “Are you sure?” A few minutes ago, he’d wanted to protect me from her. Now he was willing to get me access.
Chase nodded. “I think you’ve proved that you’re just as strong, and quick, as ever. It’s time to let the lioness loose.”
Then he smacked me on the butt and ran out the door before I could protest.
Chapter Fifteen
Chase waited for me in the upper west tower, clad in a brown leather vest, cape, and riding breeches, his hair pulled back into a short ponytail. A sword hung at his waist. I hadn’t seen him in two days and I’d begun to worry he’d changed his mind about helping me get back to the hidden village.
Instead of sitting around waiting for him, I’d ridden Aphotica both days, hoping she’d lead me back. Instead of taking me into the forest, she trotted around the grass knolls outside the castle. There was no galloping, despite my constant nudging with my heels. Aphotica wouldn’t have any of it. It was as if someone had spoken to her, explaining that I was to stay safe at the castle.
“Why did we meet up here?” I gazed out the windows toward the land below. The forest stretched for miles. I tried to spy one of the secret communities, but I couldn’t see any gaps in the trees. They’d chosen wisely. Unless someone learned to fly, they’d never find them from here.
“This is the Suicide Tower.”
I did a double take. “The what?”
“You heard me,” Chase said. “I wanted to bring you here before we left. There’s something you need to know about my mother. I know she and I don’t get along, but I have never doubted her conviction. This tower is an example of that.”
Stone walls, windows, and a door below us, there was nothing interesting giving me hints about Reychel’s character. I waited, quietly, for Chase to explain.
“Her childhood best friend tried to have my parents killed. She was in love with my father, and wildly jealous of his feelings for my mother. My mother forgave Ivy, even tried to help her, but Ivy couldn’t handle it. She threw herself out the window.”
The dizzying heights felt more dangerous now. Not long ago, I’d suffered an irrational fear of heights, but Johna had cured me of that. I couldn’t even imagine the state that Ivy must have been in to commit suicide.
“I don’t get along with my mother, but I don’t believe she would ever approve of Mags being severed without her permission.” He placed a hand on my arm. “I know Mags was your best friend. I also know you had a falling out. What I’m trying to say is that you can’t blame yourself for the choices she’s made since then.”
I nodded, unsure how I felt. Mags was the strongest woman I knew. Why would she ever give up like that?
“I’ve found a way past the barrier. It’s ridiculously simple.” Chase rolled his eyes. “All you need to do is open a portal into the village.”
“But won’t that set off the alarms?”
“That’s what I thought too, but I spoke with my mother and a couple of other people. Apparently the person who brings them supplies gets in and out the same way. It doesn’t trigger Johna’s alarms.”
“But if it’s that simple, why aren’t people in and out all the time? How do they know their perimeter is working?” I looked out the window toward the forest again.
Chase shrugged. “They cleared out land and never told anyone where it was. Remember, to open a portal, you must have visited the place before. They were hoping no one would randomly try to port there.”
“Seems risky,” I said.
“I agree.” Chase took my hand. “You’ve been there, so open the portal.”
“But what about you? Are you just going to walk through with me? What if they tell someone they saw you? Your parents will get really mad.”
Chase dropped my hand and pulled the hood of his cape over his head.
“I can still see you,” I retorted.
Chase’s laugh rang out. “That’s because other gifted friends can see through the cape’s magic. Remember?”
He was right. I’d forgotten. I’d worn one the last night I’d made love to Bryden. Chase gave it to me so I could sneak into the castle and see Bryden. My heart ached, pounding out Bryden’s name with every beat. I nodded, unable to answer for fear a crack in my voice might give away my sorrow.
“Anyway, I’ll come with you, but no one in the community is gifted, so they can’t see me. While you’re talking to your mother, I’ll scope out the rest of the place. See if there isn’t anything else hidden there we don’t know about.”
I nodded and flicked my fingers. A portal opened in front of us, shimmering in the golden sunlight. Chase reached out, taking my hand again. With Bryden’s memory fresh in my mind, I couldn’t let myself touch him for more than a second. I sl
ipped my hand out of his and stepped through the portal, hoping I’d leave the memories behind in the castle. I needed to focus on my mother. I needed to know if hers was the clear mind I was seeking.
We walked through the portal. I quickly flicked it closed before anyone saw it. The cottages stood silent in the cleared grove. Chase pointed away from them, indicating he was going to explore the perimeter of the community first.
“Don’t venture too far out,” I whispered. “If you trigger Johna’s security, we’re both going to have a lot of explaining to do.”
“I won’t,” Chase whispered back. His lips were close to my ear, too close. Our relationship was changing fast, but every time I thought of Bryden I found myself drifting away from Chase. I knew in my heart that mingling with the living was healthier than obsessing about the dead, but it didn’t make it easier to put my memories of Bryden to rest so soon.
Chase sauntered away. His back muscles rippled, even through the cape. I could see every inch of his strong body. A year ago, I would have found him irresistible. Now, well, now things were too complicated.
I spun on my heel, facing the opposite direction. Before I could take even one step toward the first cottage, a door opened. My mother walked out. Just like the last time, she was the first.
“Hello, Mary.” I stumbled a bit over her new name. I had never called her by her real name, but Mary seemed even stranger.
Her eyes narrowed. It was the same look she’d given me as I left a few days ago. She was suspicious of me.
“Hello.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “We had a delivery yesterday. We were questioned about a visitor. I told them nothing. No one did. We want to know why you’re here.”
I was left speechless. I hadn’t expected her to be so blunt. In my mind, I’d pictured many visits before I trusted her enough to ask her questions. But now she thrust it all in front of me.
“We want to know how to get out of here too.” She grabbed my wrist. Her nails dug into my skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t fade quickly.
I winced as I twisted my wrist and yanked my arm to the side. Her grasp broken, I rubbed my tender skin, flashing her a dirty look. “If you want to get away so bad, why don’t you just walk into the forest and see what’s on the other side?”