Love and Hope

by Kayla Perrin

  He smiled at the once-familiar sight of the sheep with the thick, curled horns. But before long, his smile faded and he was left with a heavy sadness in his chest, and a churning in his gut.

  For months he’d been looking forward to this visit home.

  Now that he was here, everything felt wrong. His Grams was sick—possibly dying—and Shelby was treating him like a stranger. Nothing had turned out the way he’d hoped. And he had no idea how to fix any of it.

  *

  Shelby’s heart ached for Blake as she sped away from the fair grounds. His grandmother was the only family he had. She didn’t blame him for being worried. But she also hoped he wouldn’t pressure Louise into making that trip and doing extra tests.

  Louise’s oncologist might not be world-renowned, but she did have a good reputation. More importantly, Louise trusted her. And traveling tended to stress Louise out in the best of situations, which these were not.

  Before heading home to the Rocky Knoll, Shelby drove back to Twigs & Sprigs. Joe had been bogged down by the extra deliveries he had to make today, so she’d volunteered to transport the flower arrangements she’d made for tonight’s dance.

  At the shop she loaded everything into her truck box then headed to the converted barn that was the local community hall.

  It had been many years since the barn had housed cattle in the stalls and Timothy-hay in the loft. These days the hall was used for local meetings and dances, weddings, and other celebrations.

  Two big tubs of sunflowers—delivered earlier by Joe—greeted her at the entrance. Inside, the decorating committee had already strung up lights, and set out white cloths on all the tables. All she had to do was add her Mason jar arrangements of fragrant sweet peas.

  When she was finished, she hurried home to make short work of her chores, then have a quick shower. She’d purchased a dress and tan-colored boots the last time she’d gone shopping in Whitefish, on her way to visit her folks. A bit splashier than her usual style, but she’d known the minute she tried the outfit on, it was perfect for her.

  During the drive back to town, she told herself to keep any pesky expectations to a minimum. She’d felt badly for leaving Blake standing in the parking lot at the fair grounds earlier. It was clear he’d wanted to talk. But it wasn’t her place to get in the middle of an emotional showdown between Blake and Louise. She cared about them both. Besides she’d been in a rush to get everything done and still have enough time to ready herself for tonight’s festivities.

  Country dances, in her experience, usually followed the same pattern. The cowboys would be out for a good time. They’d make her laugh and twirl her around the dance floor. Some would try to steal a kiss, but the good times would end when the band stopped playing. Rodeo cowboys lived for the moment, while she was a long-term investment kind of gal. Only one thing would be different about this dance tonight.

  Blake would be there.

  Blake, who made her heart feel like it was floating up in her throat whenever she saw him. Blake, with his killer smile, kind heart, and rodeo-hewn body.

  He’d asked her to save him a dance, as if it was important to him.

  Everybody was going to want a piece of Blake tonight. The other rodeo participants, all the town sponsors, and big-wigs—but especially Kelli-Jo.

  Chances were, Blake would forget all about dancing with her.

  So. With that clear in her head, Shelby parked her truck, and then followed the sound of music and laughter inside.

  *

  Blake spotted Shelby the moment she stepped into the dance hall. She stood framed in the open double doors, fairy lights twinkling above her head.

  Her short, vibrant blue dress clung to her slim curves. Calf-hugging brown boots added inches to her already long legs. Stunning. When they’d been teenagers he’d thought of her as someone who was warm and caring. A friend he could talk to, who would really listen.

  Back then he hadn’t appreciated how beautiful she was on the outside, too. Perhaps he’d been blinded by Kelli-Jo’s curvier, flashier sex appeal.

  More fool him.

  He was going to claim his dance now, before any of the other cowboys noticed her.

  “Blake, you remember Derek Burrows?”

  Kelli-Jo snagged his arm. Damn he was tired of her doing that. But he’d promised he would chat up the sponsors. It was what he was being paid to do. So he paused, shook the man’s hand, smiled, and then politely answered his questions. The hardware store owner asked the same ones that everyone did.

  What was it like to compete at the Nationals in Vegas?

  Of all the bucking broncs Blake had ridden, which horse had scared him the most? Had he ever met Trevor Brazile? What was he really like? Did he hang out at the bar like a regular guy would?

  Blake had been answering these same questions, and variations thereof, all day long. Usually he didn’t mind. He knew he was lucky to be making his career as a professional rodeo cowboy. And it was only right to share that experience with others when called upon to do so.

  Being a rodeo cowboy set you apart. It wasn’t a lifestyle many could handle. But Blake thrived at it.

  Or at least he had up until a few days ago.

  Now, he had only two thoughts running in his head, worrying about his grandma and getting Shelby alone.

  More than anything, he wanted to dance with her. Only he was stuck here making cocktail chatter while that cowboy she’d been chatting with in the grandstands moved in to stake his claim.

  A minute later Shelby and that cowboy—Cody White, Blake had made a point of finding out—were two-stepping on the dance floor.

  Meanwhile Blake was obliged to make small talk with the hardware guy, then the mayor, and then a couple of old buddies from school. At first, he was glad to see his friends, but after five minutes of covering the basics, it became clear they really didn’t have much to talk about.

  Just when he thought he might be able to politely slip away, Kelli-Jo joined the circle and tilted her head at him.

  “Well?”

  Her meaning was clear. After all she’d done for him, he could hardly embarrass her by walking away. “May I have this dance, K-J?”

  “Of course. Just like old times, huh?”

  Her red skirt flared against his legs as he twirled her onto the dance floor, and her silver jewelry jangled.

  He touched one of the chains. “Doesn’t that stuff weigh a ton?”

  “It’s lighter than it looks.”

  Kelli-Jo was light on her feet, too. She was a good dancer, and as the band started playing Keith Urban’s Days Go By, Blake remembered what a thrill it had been in high school to be dating the most popular girl, the envy of every other guy his age.

  Even after all these years, he still didn’t know why Kelli-Jo had picked him. The first time he’d asked her to dance had been on a dare and he’d fully expected to get turned down.

  Instead, she’d confessed that if he hadn’t asked her to dance, she’d been planning to ask him.

  Wow. That had been a game changer.

  Just knowing that a girl like K-J liked him had given him extra confidence in himself.

  With hindsight though, Blake realized that the friends he’d had back then hadn’t brought out his better side. There was a fine line between being confident and being cocky. And he’d definitely crossed it.

  “This is fun!” K-J gave him a brilliant smile as he led her into a spin, her red skirt swirling in a froth around her.

  A moment later he caught a glimpse of Shelby. Honey hair. Long legs. Sexy dress.

  The cowboy holding her in his arms laughed at something she’d said, then pulled her in closer.

  Blake’s jaw clenched. He adjusted his steps to keep pace with them and was relieved when about a minute later, the song ended.

  “Thanks for the dance, K-J. Catch you later?”

  The band was shifting into a slower song, and he wanted to get to Shelby while she and the other guy were standing still. But Kelli-
Jo wouldn’t let go.

  “How about one more?”

  “Later, okay? I promised this one to Shelby.” Fortunately Derek Burrows stepped in then, claiming Kelli-Jo’s hand, and Blake was finally able to make his escape.

  The song was recognizable now. Kenny Chesney’s Angel Loved the Devil. Shelby and her cowboy were just coming together, when he reached out to tap the cowboy’s shoulder.

  “Excuse me, but the lady promised this one to me.”

  Chapter 5

  “Did she now?” Shelby’s dance partner raised an eyebrow skeptically at Blake, then asked her, “This true darlin’?”

  “It is. But thanks for the dance, Cody.” She gave him a parting smile, then slid from his arms into Blake’s.

  Shelby’s breath left her lungs in a rush as Blake placed one hand on her shoulder, the other on her waist. Warmth unfurled in her abdomen and spiraled downward. No other man had ever sparked this reaction in her.

  Blake held her firmly as if he wanted to make sure she didn’t escape.

  In response, every nerve in her body was suddenly alive.

  Glancing up at his face, she noticed his eyes were almost fully closed, as if he were lost in a trance.

  “You like this song?” she murmured, her voice cracking as she spoke.

  He inhaled, his gaze meeting hers once more. “I like any song when you’re dancing with me.”

  She swallowed thickly.

  “Did I say something wrong?”

  “I’m just not used to you using your lines on me.”

  “It’s only a line if you don’t mean it.”

  He tried to pull her in closer, but she resisted. Not because she didn’t want him to. But because she wanted, too much, to feel his body pressed tightly against hers. If that happened, she suspected she might lose her mind and do something crazy like beg him to take her someplace where they could be alone.

  She had to get her mind on other, safer, topics.

  “So what’s it like seeing Kelli-Jo again? You looked good together for that last dance.”

  “Did we? I was watching you so much, I didn’t notice.”

  “Stop with the flattery, already. You’re just trying to avoid my question.”

  He held her back a bit, so he could meet her gaze. “I didn’t mean to avoid your question. I just don’t feel like discussing Kelli-Jo right now.”

  “What would you like to discuss?”

  “We’ve talked enough about me. But you haven’t told me about yourself. What are your dreams, Shelby?”

  “I enjoy working at Twigs & Sprigs. I love my home and the animals I have living there. I don’t have much to dream about.”

  “You’re not interested in love? In marriage or children?”

  “I’m only twenty-five. There’s time.” She kept her voice intentionally breezy. How could she possibly tell him the truth—that she’d never met anyone she wanted as much as him?

  She’d dated several guys over the years, hoping sexual attraction and love would come with time, but they hadn’t. Oh, the kisses were pleasant enough, but they never left her wanting more.

  Some of the guys had even questioned her sexual orientation. But her body’s response to Blake’s touch was Shelby’s answer to that question.

  Maybe if she hadn’t met him when she was so young, she could have developed an interest in other men.

  But she had met him. And for some reason—maybe pheromones, the pitch of his voice, that sexy divot in his chin—he’d become her ideal.

  If that hadn’t changed in the six years since she’d seen him last, could she really hope it would change in the future?

  “Well, I’d like to have kids,” Blake said.

  Bittersweet longing flared inside Shelby as she pictured him with a baby, a toddler, a little boy, like Sam, today. Trying to sound neutral she said, “You’d be a great dad.”

  “I hope so. I figure in five years I should have enough saved that I can quit the rodeo and settle down. I wouldn’t want to be on the road all the time if I had a family.”

  “But wouldn’t you miss the rodeo?”

  “Not if I had my own ranch. It’s the horses I love working with best.”

  “You’ve traveled so many places. How would you decide where you wanted to settle?”

  “I always figured here, in Alberta. I’d have a house big enough so Grams could move in, too.”

  He hesitated, then added, his tone laced with worry, “But what if she isn’t around by the time I build my house, Shelby? What if she’s putting up a brave face and the cancer is a lot worse than she’s letting on?”

  She wished she could tell him Louise would be fine, but how could she do that when she didn’t know if that would be the case? Besides it wasn’t her place to reassure him. She wasn’t his wife, or his girlfriend—hell, she wasn’t even his friend—not really—not anymore.

  “I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a long time,” Blake said. “But nothing’s turned out the way I thought it would. I’m not just talking about Grams …”

  “Oh?”

  “The past six years have gone by in a whirl for me. I was living my dream. Visiting new places, making new friends, competing against men I’d idolized for years. It never occurred to me that the people back home would be changing too. That I was losing years and chances I might never get again.”

  Was he thinking about Kelli-Jo’s marriage to another man?

  Had it occurred to him, as well, that Sam might be his son?

  Suddenly, Shelby realized the band had stopped playing. The lead singer announced they were taking a fifteen-minute break. Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum began playing on the sound system, and the crowd on the dance floor ebbed back to their tables, to the bar, or outside for a smoke.

  “May I buy you a drink?” Blake asked.

  Before she could answer, Kelli-Jo appeared

  “I’ve been looking all over for you, honey.” She latched onto Blake’s arm, showing off her glitzy nails and diamond bracelet in the process. “Could I talk to you a minute?”

  “Maybe later K-J.”

  Blake was still looking at Shelby, so he hadn’t noticed there were tears in Kelli-Jo’s eyes.

  “Should I wait for you b-by the bar?”

  At the hitch in Kelli-Jo’s voice Blake finally turned and saw the other woman’s distress. He dropped his hands from Shelby’s waist.

  “That’s okay. We can talk now. Another dance later, Shel?”

  She managed a weak smile, but didn’t answer. She suspected Kelli-Jo would make sure there was no dance later. At least not for her and Blake.

  *

  “Can we take some drinks outside to talk?” Kelli-Jo dabbed her tears with the side of her pinkie finger. “It’s so hot and noisy in here.”

  “Sure.” Blake ordered them a couple of colas, figuring alcohol was probably not a good idea right now. He used the break to orient himself. One minute he was having one of the hottest, most emotionally intense dances of his life. The next Kelli-Jo was on the verge of crying and wanting his help.

  Much as he’d wanted to prolong his time with Shelby, he hadn’t had the heart to turn K-J away.

  Once he had their beverages, Kelli-Jo took his hand and led him toward the back exit. Every few steps someone tried to stop them. Most wanted to chat about the rodeo. Others, volunteers and members of the Sheep River Days organizing committee, had questions for Kelli-Jo.

  Eventually, however, they made it outside. Bushes of dahlias were growing against the wall, and Kelli-Jo snapped one off at the stem.

  “I love these red flowers. Aren’t they pretty?”

  “The dahlias? A little showy for my taste.”

  “Is that what they’re called?”

  “Yup.”

  “Impressive.”

  He shrugged. “Growing up I spent a lot of after-school hours at Twigs & Sprigs. I picked up a few things.” He stopped walking. “So. What did you want to talk about?”

  Kelli-Jo’s gaze
locked with his. “Let’s find someplace quieter.”

  Picnic tables dotted the grounds around the dance hall. They avoided the closest ones, where groups gathered to smoke or cool off. Kelli-Jo led him down a hollow, to a table nestled up beside a grand white pine tree.

  Though it was almost midnight, the night air was still warm, carrying the scent of clover from a nearby hayfield. They’d walked far enough that the grating music of crickets was now louder than the country music being played by the band, just returned from their break.

  Kelli-Jo sat on top of the picnic table, resting her boots on the bench. After a pause, Blake sat next to her, leaving a healthy space between them.

  “You okay?”

  She shrugged.

  “K-J, what is it?”

  Finally she lifted her head, and he spotted fresh tears glistening in her eyes. But she wasn’t looking at him, she was gazing skyward, where a flash of white had just blazed across the Milky Way.

  “Did you see that?”

  “Must be the tail end of the Perseids.” About a minute later, another meteorite blazed across the sky. It was a wondrous sight, but his heart felt heavy. He thought about his Grams, hopefully fast asleep in bed. And Shelby—would she be gone by the time he was free to go look for her?

  “I’m sorry about my ride today,” he said. “I know you were counting on me giving the hometown crowd a good show.”

  “Oh, I don’t care about that. Everyone has good days and bad days.” She kicked off her boots, letting them tumble to the grass.

  He hadn’t expected her to be so understanding about his low score. “At least the parade was a hit with the crowd. And folks seem to be having a fun time tonight.”

  “Yes.”

  He drank some of his cola, then shot her another glance. She was still watching the sky. But from the sunken set of her shoulders, and the occasional sigh, he could tell she was still upset.

  “Have I done something to offend you?”

  “Oh, Blake. Seeing you again has been wonderful. That’s the problem.”

  Instinct warned him to proceed with caution. “I’ve enjoyed seeing you too, K-J.”

  “I love that nickname. You’re the only one who calls me that.”