by Kayla Perrin
Stage four … Dread settled on Tasia’s chest like a heavy weight, robbing her of breath. She couldn’t forget the horrifying truth she’d learned online. She felt silly, never having known exactly what stage four meant. And it was the worst stage of all, the scariest one. Tasia simply couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that her mother had been diagnosed at the worst stage. Before ever knowing she’d even had the disease, when it was too late to fight it.
No. It couldn’t be too late. Even if her mother’s cancer had metastasized, which according to what she’d read, happens in stage four, Tasia would not accept that she was going to die from the disease. There was some way to cure her. There had to be. Maybe it was time to explore natural remedies. Chemo was a necessary evil, but there were alternatives. Not only did chemo kill the cancer cells, it also killed the good cells, leaving a person’s immune system depleted. What her mother needed was a regimen of natural treatments to boost her immunity so that she could withstand more chemotherapy.
Although for her mother’s sake, Tasia hoped she didn’t need more chemo or radiation. Those treatments were grueling. When she was in college, her boyfriend at the time had gone through his mother’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Her health had deteriorated quickly, even with treatment, and it had been frightening, how fast the cancer had spread. The chemo had weakened her further, causing painful side effects.
Tasia swallowed as she remembered that awful time, but the lump that had lodged in her throat did not dissipate.
She didn’t want to think about anything like that right now. She needed to be strong for her mom. Lifting her mug, Tasia downed the last of the coffee. Then she got up and went to her Keurig machine and set another cup to brew. She was exhausted, and would need a few jolts of java to get her through the six-hour drive to her mom’s. She’d finished her shift early last night after getting that devastating phone call, but it had been too late to drive to Miami. Of course, Tasia couldn’t sleep. So she’d put her time to effective use, staying up late doing research. She wanted to be armed with as much information as possible.
Tasia had already packed—thrown stuff together was more like it—and as the coffee brewed, she carried her larger suitcase to the car. She’d packed a lot of stuff, not knowing how long she would be in Miami. Chloe, the manager, had been completely sympathetic. She’d told Tasia to take as much time as she needed. Her job would be waiting for her.
Tasia carried the rest of her bags to her car, and then finished off her third cup of coffee. That should be enough caffeine for the trip. It was early, just before eight, but she texted her best friend, Raven nonetheless.
YOU AWAKE?
Raven’s reply took about a minute.
AM NOW. WHAT’S UP?
Tasia dialed Raven’s number, and her friend picked up after the first ring.
“This had better be good,” she grumbled.
“Can I come over?” Tasia asked. “It has to be now, because I’m heading out of town. I need you to take care of my plants for me.”
“Sure,” Raven said, sounding wary. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there,” Tasia told her. She didn’t want to get into it over the phone.
“You’re kind of scaring me,” Raven said.
“I’ll be there soon.”
Chapter 2
Ten minutes later, Tasia pulled into the driveway of Raven Skeete’s home in Decatur, the suburb of Atlanta where they both lived. A few years ago, they’d both made the leap to home ownership when housing prices had dropped because of the rocky economy. The downturn in the market had meant better opportunities for buyers, like them who’d been smart with their money.
Raven, a massage therapist, had snagged a four-bedroom home at an amazing price. Tasia’s house was also a four-bedroom and slightly larger. Tasia and Raven had become fast friends in the eighth grade when Raven was the new girl in school, connecting so strongly because they were both being raised by single mothers. Both had had fathers who’d walked out on them, though at least Raven’s dad had come around to see her from time to time. Perhaps because of what they’d gone through, Tasia and Raven had shared dreams about marrying rich and gorgeous men who adored them and would never cheat or leave. Although Tasia would talk about that fantasy with her friend, she never really bought into the idea of true love.
Their friendship was so strong that when Tasia had decided to apply to a college in Atlanta, Raven had done the same. They were, indeed, BFFs for life.
As Tasia exited her car, she saw that Raven was already standing on the porch. Raven was five-foot-five, with a voluptuous body, and light brown skin. Her long black hair was pulled into a ponytail.
Tasia hefted the two plants from the back seat of her Audi and made her way up the porch steps. Raven held the door open for her.
“Morning,” Tasia said softly.
“You know you have me worried out of my mind,” Raven said, her eyes wide. “Please tell me this doesn’t have anything to do with Rodney.”
“No, this has nothing to do with him. Believe me, I’m not about to let him run me out of town.”
“Then what’s going on? You’re escaping to your mother’s place in Miami? And how long are you going to be gone? What about your job?”
Tasia lowered both plants to the floor in the foyer. “They’ll probably be fine getting watered once every other day.”
Raven waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about the plants. Tell me what’s going on.”
As Tasia stood, a wave of emotion hit her and her knees buckled. As she steadied herself, her bottom lip trembled. She couldn’t believe the words she was about to utter. “It’s my mother. She has cancer.”
Raven’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I have to go home. She says she doesn’t have long to live, but I can’t believe that. I already looked online for cancer treatment centers in Miami, as well alternative therapies. She’s not going to die.”
“Oh, hon.” Raven’s voice was a frightened whisper. “What stage?”
“Stage four.”
“Oh, God.”
“That’s what she was told, but who knows if that’s correct. I’ll get it all sorted when I get to Miami.”
Raven wrapped her arms around Tasia. “I’m so sorry.”
As her friend hugged her, Tasia’s eyes misted. But she drew in a deep breath and tried to control her emotions. Fear had crept into her heart after reading so many of the awful stories about stage four ovarian cancer. She wasn’t afraid for herself, though Lord knew what she’d do without her mom in her life. Mostly, she was concerned for her mother. She didn’t want her to suffer. Some of the accounts she’d read about those ravaged by this dreadful disease had shattered her, but still she’d tried to remain hopeful. If she fell apart, how could she be the rock her mother needed? “She’ll be okay,” Tasia said, pulling away from Raven. “She has to be.”
Raven said nothing, but the worry etched on her face said everything.
“I’ve got to go,” Tasia said, turning.
“I’m here for you,” Raven said as Tasia stepped onto the front porch. “Any time you need to talk, don’t hesitate to call.”
Tasia nodded. “Sure.”
“And give your mother my love.”
“I will,” Tasia said.
As she made her way to the car, she didn’t look back because she didn’t want to see the sorrow in Raven’s eyes.
But mostly, she didn’t want to see the fear.
*
A couple of hours into her drive, Tasia called her brother, Andrew. She’d tried getting a hold of him right after she’d gotten off the phone with her mother yesterday, but hadn’t been able to reach him.
Andrew lived clear across the country, in Seattle, so it was really early there right now. But this was urgent. Their mother was going to need both of them.
Using the Bluetooth system in the car, she dialed his number. The phone rang twice, and then he picked up, sounding i
rritated and groggy. “Hello?”
“Andrew, it’s Tasia.”
“Tasia, it’s 7:41 on a Saturday morning. Karlene was up all night with the baby.”
Tasia ignored the comment and asked, “Did you get the message I left you?”
“I saw that you called last night, yes. But I didn’t check the message yet.”
Typical. Her baby brother was terrible at staying in touch.
“Andrew, you have to come home.”
“What—Why?”
“To Miami. Mom … Mom’s sick. And she’s going to need both of us.”
“What’s the matter?”
“She has cancer.” Just saying the words was so surreal, like Tasia was in some kind of parallel universe.
“Andrew, can’t you take that call in another room?” Tasia heard Karlene ask.
“Hold on,” Andrew said. There was some shuffling, and then several seconds later he spoke again. “Okay, I’m back. Mom has cancer? What kind? And how bad?”
Tasia sucked in a breath before answering. “Stage four ovarian cancer.”
“Stage four? That’s the worst stage. How long does she have?”
“That’s what you have to say?” Tasia snapped, gripping the steering wheel so hard her fingers hurt.
“If Mom’s been given a stage four diagnosis of cancer, the doctors must have given her a time frame. Last year, a secretary here had stage four breast cancer. She was given six months. And sure enough, right at the six month mark—”
“For God’s sake, Andrew! You think that’s what I want to hear right now?” Tasia flinched when her tires veered onto the gravel. She quickly jerked to the left, back into her lane.
“What—I shouldn’t ask?”
“Some days, Andrew, you seriously piss me off.” Her pulse was thundering in her ears. She needed him to believe that things would be okay. Not simply accept that there was nothing that could be done. For once in his life, she needed him to be there for them.
Tasia relaxed her hands on the steering wheel and exhaled a slow, steady breath. “I’ve already been looking into various clinics and alternative treatment options. There’s got to be something we can do.”
“Tasia …”
“I can’t do this alone,” Tasia forged ahead, not wanting to hear any more doom and gloom scenarios from her brother. “When can you get to Miami?”
Andrew groaned. “That’s the thing,” he said. “I can’t leave right now.”
“Why not?” Tasia snapped.
“At least not yet,” Andrew quickly said. “I have meetings all day Monday and a presentation due on Tuesday. This client I’m working for is very demanding. I’ve been back and forth, trying to get this ad campaign just right. If I leave now—”
“This is our mother,” Tasia stressed, choking back tears. “For the record, Mom told me the doctors said she doesn’t have long. So work has to wait. You should be getting on the first flight down here.”
“If I come now, I’ll just have to turn right around and head home for the presentation on Tuesday. And there’s a ton of work to do before that. It just makes more sense that I clear my schedule before I head to Miami.”
“Are you serious?” He was putting some ad campaign before his own mother?
“Like I said, the client is extremely demanding. I’m the go-to guy on this campaign. The client expects me to be there every step of the way. I’m not making excuses. I just need to take care of this before I can get down to Florida. Then there’s Karlene and the baby. He’s been colicky, and it’s driving her crazy. We’ll have to go to the doctor, see if Justin can fly.”
“Jesus, Andrew. Why are you putting up roadblocks? Just get on a damn plane and head to Miami. It’s not hard.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No one’s asking you to abandon your family. I’m sure they can live without you for a few days.” Tasia grimaced when she realized how harsh she sounded. She understood that a spouse and baby were at the top of Andrew’s priority list, but he’d put his mother and sister at the bottom ever since he’d met Karlene seven years ago. Karlene had made it clear that she didn’t like their mother, nor did she like Tasia.
Probably because we can see right through her … Oh God! Mom is going to die without meeting her own grandson … No! Stop it Tasia! She wouldn’t go there. She couldn’t go there.
Tasia and her mother had both known that Karlene would be the kind of controlling wife who would ultimately make Andrew miserable. And it had already started. From persuading him to change jobs, to complaining about the heat in Florida and demanding they move to Seattle where she’d grown up so they could be near her family—Karlene had convinced Andrew to uproot his life and career. And as a result, he’d distanced himself emotionally and physically from his own family.
“Perhaps Karlene can catch a later flight,” Tasia suggested, trying not to lose her temper. “I don’t think she needs to be down here immediately. You can come down first, then Karlene can come later.”
Andrew sighed. “I don’t know about that.”
“Why—you can’t leave Karlene?” she asked in an exaggeratedly sweet tone. She could care less if Andrew picked up on her sarcasm.
“This has nothing to do with Karlene,” he replied, sounding defensive. “I already explained. Look, I’ll get back to you. Let you know when I can make it down.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Tasia muttered, wondering if he was even going to try. “Talk to you later.”
She hung up and snorted in disgust. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that Andrew would have to clear it with Karlene first before he made any decisions. And she could only imagine how that would go, given Karlene’s chilly attitude since the wedding. Well, if Andrew wasn’t going to be there for their mother, Tasia wasn’t going to beg him. It was his loss and he would have to live with it. She would take care of her mother, be there for her, and help her through this crisis. She would do whatever she had to to save her mother’s life.
Chapter 3
A few minutes before three in the afternoon, Tasia pulled up to the curb in front of her mother’s place in Miami Lakes. It was the same small house Tasia and her brother had grown up in, and seeing it now made her eyes mist. When Tasia had turned eighteen she’d had a burning desire to leave. Strike out, on her own.
There’d been something about this house that depressed her ever since her father had left. Yes, there’d been happy times, but the house seemed to have retained all that pain and heartache in its very walls. Had her mother felt it too? Or had she let all that pain go? Tasia hoped so.
Getting accepted at Spelman University had been an exciting new start for Tasia after high school. Now, she couldn’t help wondering how her desire to leave had affected her mother’s life.
When she climbed out of the car, a wave of guilt hit her as surely as the wall of South Florida humidity. Tasia had forged a new life for herself in Atlanta, and Andrew had been in Seattle for five years. Tasia always talked to her mother once or twice a week, and she visited at least twice a year. But this past year, Tasia had been so busy with work that she’d only come down for Thanksgiving.
For Christmas and New Year’s, Tasia and Raven had traveled to Australia, something they’d always wanted to do. Her mother had not only assured her that she’d have a splendid Christmas with friends, she’d encouraged Tasia to go on her dream vacation. But now Tasia’s guilt was palpable. If she’d been here for Christmas, she might have noticed a sign of sickness in her mother and would have insisted that she go to the doctor. Because Lord knew, her mother was stubborn. She wouldn’t get herself to a doctor until she couldn’t walk, breathe, or eat.
If her mother had a flaw, it was ignoring any ailment. She’d kept moving through the back pain she’d suffered from a car accident years earlier. She preferred to let a cold or flu run its course than take any medicine. It was entirely likely that she’d had signs that something was wrong and had ignored them. Damn it, why hadn’t Tasia been here during th
e holidays? She would have been able to tell that something was wrong. She just knew that she would.
Tasia started up the walkway to the house. It seemed so much smaller now than it had when she’d been a child. It wasn’t fancy, far from it. In fact, a few years back, Tasia had tried to get her mother to move to something more modern and with central air conditioning. But her mother had wanted none of that. Something which Tasia had never understood. Why on earth would her mother not leap at the opportunity to move to another house, finally escape the sad memories here?
As long as she lived, Tasia would never forget the conversation she’d overheard between her parents at the small kitchen table that January day twenty-two years ago. Her father had met someone else, he’d said. He deserved to be happy. He wanted a new life.
A couple of days later, he’d hugged his kids, explained that he was going away, and just like that, he left. Tasia had been only nine years old, and Andrew just seven. Her happy childhood had shattered.
Oh, he’d promised that he would be in touch. See them all the time. But her sad excuse for a father had never returned. He’d never called nor written, and he’d stopped sending child support after only a few months.
Tasia’s mother, who’d been a stay-at-home mom, had been forced to get a job at a hotel in Miami to support them. She’d started off as a cleaning woman, far from glamorous, but her hard work led to a promotion to the front desk, and eventually she’d become the night shift manager.
It had been hard on Tasia and Andrew, but in many ways, the struggle had made her admire her mother even more for her strong work ethic.
Years later her father had reached out to her and her brother, and while Andrew had reconnected with their dad, Tasia had wanted nothing to do with him. He was a deadbeat as far as she was concerned. Any man who could abandon his family and not even offer any kind of emotional or financial support didn’t deserve forgiveness, let alone a relationship with his daughter.