Love and Hope

by Kayla Perrin

  Her lips trembled as she continued. “I don’t condone what she did, but life isn’t black and white. What she wrote in the letter … that was love, Malcolm. Love that I know she never experienced with my father. So yes, even though I don’t condone infidelity, I guess I’m glad that Jarvis Baxter—whoever he is—was there for her. But it hurts to know she loved this man, maybe even up until her death, and she dealt with that alone … that she never shared the truth with me.”

  “Don’t doubt that she loved you,” Malcolm said.

  “I know. I don’t doubt that. It’s just … I can’t help wondering if I failed my mother in some way?”

  “Because she never told you?” Malcolm asked.

  “Yeah.” Tasia nodded. “Because she never felt that she could trust me with this.”

  Malcolm closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re being too hard on yourself. Second-guessing everything. But in your heart you know the truth. You and your mother had a special bond. She knew she could count on you. She loved you. And she was proud of you. I’m sure she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want anything to mar your opinion of her.”

  Looking up at him, Tasia offered him a small smile. “You always know just the right thing to say.” How had Michelle not known how great a guy she had in her life? “And you’re right. What I learned doesn’t take away from the relationship I had with my mother. It’s just …”

  “Just what?”

  “My mother never sent this letter. Does that mean she never ended her relationship with Jarvis?”

  “Does it matter?” Malcolm asked.

  “Sort of. I guess for my own peace of mind, I want to know. Was he in her life for years afterward? Did she find happiness with someone else? Did this guy leave his wife? And if he left his wife, why didn’t—”

  Malcolm placed a finger over her lips to silence her. “Shhh. No more making yourself crazy.”

  A frisson of heat swept up Tasia’s spine. Here she was on the beach with this beautiful man, a breathtaking sky overhead and an undeniably romantic setting. And she was letting thoughts of the past consume her.

  Slowly, Malcolm removed his finger, but his sensual touch lingered on her bottom lip. The energy between them shifted, and her chaotic thoughts floated away on the evening breeze.

  “From the little your mother told me, and from what I read in the letter, it’s clear that her life did have passion. Maybe not for as long as she wanted, but it was real and she didn’t regret it. A love like that doesn’t come along that often. Some of us spend our lives in mediocre relationships hoping to attain it. Personally, I’d rather have a passionate love affair for a short time rather than a lifetime of boring.”

  It seemed as though Malcolm wasn’t talking about her mother, but about them. He held her gaze with his own and there it was again. That zap of undeniable heat. There was a connection between them. Inexplicable. Real.

  Tasia’s stomach started doing flip-flops, and she broke their eye contact, staring down at the water swishing over her bare feet. But glancing away didn’t lesson the intensity of her swelling feelings for Malcolm.

  “No,” he whispered, as he tipped her chin up, forcing her to look up at him. “Don’t look away.”

  She met his gaze again. And gasped as he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. Gently cupping her face with his other hand, he captured her lips with his.

  Her feet may have been cool standing in the water, but the rest of her was on fire. As her lips parted to give him more access, she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck. And suddenly, right there on the beach, they were kissing with abandon. His hands roamed up and down her back while her fingers dug into his shoulders. She met him kiss for kiss, letting go of all of her reservations, and allowing her body to feel the excitement of being in his arms.

  The sound of a loud wolf whistle had them jumping apart. Both Tasia and Malcolm burst into laughter, as they spotted a group of young guys and girls who were waving and cheering them on.

  “I think that’s our cue to get out of here,” Malcolm said, grinning.

  “I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Tasia blurted. Why pretend? She didn’t want to be coy. She knew what she wanted, and she was ready to go for it. What Malcolm had said about passion was true. She would much rather be with someone she was truly passionate about for a short time than be in a lackluster relationship for the rest of her life. As Raven had so aptly pointed out, Tasia had always chosen dull men in the past. She was ready to shake up her life with some genuine excitement.

  And right now, she was excited about Malcolm. She was lightheaded and tingly and breathless all at once. She’d never experienced this feeling before. “Your place or mine?” he asked.

  “Yours,” she answered immediately.

  Smiling down at her, he took her hand. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 13

  Malcolm held her hand the entire drive from South Beach to Miramar. The words Vizcaya Homes graced an elegant sign leading into an exclusive, gated community.

  Tasia had forgotten just how gorgeous Florida was. The lush foliage, majestic palm trees, and immaculately manicured lawns blended together to create a luxurious yet comfortable setting.

  She loved the architecture of the houses, with their clay tiled roofs and pale stucco exteriors. There was something dazzling about the tropical palm trees strung with lights around their bases that added to the unique appeal of Miami.

  “This is a gorgeous neighborhood,” Tasia said. Far nicer than the modest home her mother had in Miami Lakes.

  “It’s home,” Malcolm said.

  The houses were spacious family homes. The kinds of places with 2.5 kids and a dog.

  “You live here alone?” Tasia asked. But what she was wondering was if Michelle had ever lived here with him. She was anxious to find out.

  “Yeah,” Malcolm answered.

  “Michelle … Did she ever …” She stopped herself.

  “Live with me?” Malcolm finished for her.

  “Forget I asked. I don’t mean to pry.”

  “You can ask me anything. And no, she didn’t. I guess I knew even then that having her move in with me wouldn’t work out. I was trying to force things, for JJ’s sake. She did come over with JJ a lot. I certainly made use of the yard with him. Kicked a soccer ball around with him, got him one of those small inflatable pools.” Squeezing her hand, Malcolm glanced at her. “But please don’t think about Michelle. What we had was … insignificant. Like I said, I tried to make it work for JJ, but it just wasn’t there.”

  Tasia offered him a small smile. “My mind isn’t even going there.”

  “Good,” he said, sounding relieved.

  She gazed at the beautiful homes as he continued to drive. Something inside her began to unfurl as her mind drifted over the past few weeks. It felt like one part of her life had come to an end and another was just beginning. And yet it also felt like she was coming back to something. A long-ago-far-away dream. She glanced down at their intertwined hands. Malcolm was so strong. So passionate. Yet so kind and tender-hearted. A man like Malcolm would be a loving father and a wonderful life partner. A forever kind of love …

  Whoa. Where had that thought come from?

  Malcolm pulled into a driveway and hit his remote garage key. The garage door started to rise. Tasia gazed at the dense lawn and thick shrubs filled with hibiscus flowers. Spotlights along the wall were positioned to illuminate the house at night. It was just as eye-catching as the other homes along the drive. Glancing up, she spied a balcony on the upper level. One lounge chair sat outside the patio doors, something that struck her.

  Malcolm had all of this … and no one to share it with.

  It would be so easy imagining the two of them enjoying that patio …

  Stop it!

  Tonight was about living in the moment, not thinking about the future.

  “What a beautiful home,” she said as he pulled into the d
ouble garage.

  “It’s home,” Malcolm said again, as he put the car into park. “But you know … A house is not a home when you have no one to share it with.”

  And then he did something that took Tasia’s breath away. He serenaded her with the first verse of A House Is Not A Home, the song that the late, great Luther Vandross made famous.

  Oh, Lord, this man! Not only was he romantic. He had a great voice too.

  He exited the vehicle and opened the passenger side door for her. Then he took her hand and walked with her to the front entrance of his home.

  Turning off the alarm, he held the door open for her. As she passed him, he stroked the back of her arm. Tasia glanced over her shoulder and he gave her a sexy wink.

  Her skin flushed with sensual heat. Oh, how she wanted this man. Needed him desperately.

  Malcom reached for her hand. Tasia liked that. She loved the feeling of him claiming her like this. It made her feel desired. Wanted.

  The foyer’s ceiling went up the entire two stories. The entranceway boasted polished granite floors, a winding staircase, and a spiral-shaped chandelier with countless little lights hanging from silver wires. “This is stunning.”

  He pulled her into his arms and she landed against his chest with a little oomph. “You’re stunning,” he whispered, his voice like honey to her ears.

  The noise that emanated from her lips sounded like a little purr. “And you’re incredibly hot.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”

  She eased up on her toes as she curled her arms around his neck. “Yes,” she whispered and kissed the underside of his jaw. “Very, very hot.”

  His body shuddered beneath her fingertips, and his reaction made her feel heady with feminine power. She flicked her tongue over his skin, and was rewarded when he tightly gripped her waist. “And here I was going to give you a tour first,” he said, his voice light, yet rich with desire at the same time.

  Tasia chuckled. “There’s only one place I want to tour right now.”

  “Is that so?” he asked, his voice raspy.

  “Uh huh.”

  Holding his intense gaze, she almost forgot to breathe. His gorgeous hazel eyes held hers captive. Still. And then at the same time, they both moved. Their lips met in a flurry of passion. Their hands seeking. Exploring. Their hot breaths mingling.

  She gripped his shoulders and held on as a wave of desire washed over her. Everything about him excited her. The feel of his body, the taste of his tongue, the strength of his hands.

  His erection hardened between them, and her body tingled in response. His hands lowered from her back and smoothed over her bottom. He gripped her and pulled her against the rock-hard evidence of his desire for her. It seemed impossible, but the heat within her grew even hotter.

  “Malcolm …” She breathed his name on a sigh of pleasure. Then she curled one leg up around his thigh. He groaned and a moment later, he lifted her up and she locked her legs around his waist. He tore his lips from hers to look at her and smile, that amazingly sexy smile that gave her goose bumps even as she felt burning passion for him.

  Tasia secured her arms around his neck, and Malcolm began to walk them toward the staircase. He carried her as though she weighed no more than a feather, effortlessly taking her upstairs. When they reached the top landing, she lowered her mouth to his and kissed him, flicking her tongue over his and stroking the back of his head with her hands. He opened his mouth, allowing her deeper access.

  He shifted her in his arms as he carried her over the threshold into his bedroom. Tasia’s eyes were locked with his, and she was unaware of her surroundings until he lowered her onto the bed. Only then did she notice a set of French doors leading out to the balcony, the same balcony she’d spotted when they were driving up. The drapes were wide open, and Malcolm made his way over to the doors.

  She looked at him, fully and unabashedly checked out his body. With clothes on, he looked breathtaking. Without clothes …

  She soon found out.

  He closed the drapes, and turned to face her, unbuttoning his shirt as he did. Tasia gazed at his long, strong fingers, as they released each button. She held her breath.

  And when the shirt was completely undone, he stripped it off and tossed it onto the floor. An unsteady exhalation of air rushed out of her lungs. Good Lord, he was perfection. This is what came from wielding a hammer and hauling planks of wood every day. Muscular pecs, washboard abs. Powerful biceps.

  She swallowed as he slowly walked toward her. How long had it been since she’d had sex? She didn’t want to disappoint him.

  “You’re so sexy,” she whispered as he reached the bed.

  He lowered his body on top of hers, gently forcing her onto her back. “You’re so gorgeous.”

  The compliment was like an aphrodisiac, feeding her desire for him. He splayed his hand over her abdomen, heavy and warm. Then, slowly trailing his hand up her body, he kissed the underside of her jaw. A soft, feathery kiss that teased and excited. As his lips moved along her skin, his hands found the knot on her wraparound shirt and undid it.

  Easing back, he pulled the knot completely loose. She maneuvered her body upward when he started to take the shirt off of her. “God, baby,” he said, his voice a hoarse whisper as he gazed at her. He dropped her shirt onto the floor, then trailed a finger along the base of her neck. “You’re perfect.”

  She reveled in his words, loving the look of awe in his extraordinary eyes. His finger ventured lower, gently slipping under the delicate lace covering her breasts. He skimmed his finger over her soft skin. She sucked in a breath, and when he moved his hand to cup her breast through her bra, she arched her back, allowing herself to feel every wondrous sensation. The weight of his hand. The way her nipple instantly hardened against his palm.

  His lips found hers as he pushed the delicate fabric of her bra away and tweaked her nipple. A flood of delicious heat consumed her. She sighed against his mouth, and he nibbled on her bottom lip, adding to the dizzying sensations.

  She ran her fingernails down his back as he planted a trail of feather light kisses along her jawline. He went lower, kissing the hollow of her throat. Then lower still, to the lacy edge of her bra. Pulling the straps down both arms, he exposed her breasts. She watched him. Watched him looking at her. A tidal wave of desire swept through her as his eyes darkened with lust.

  She eased her body up and unclasped her bra at the back. He pulled it fully off her body. Before the bra even hit the floor, his mouth closed around her nipple. She gasped from the pleasure. He suckled softly, then grazed his teeth over her hardening peak.

  “Oh God …”

  He closed his mouth over her nipple and sucked it deep into his mouth. She arched her back as she savored the exquisite sensations. Malcolm trilled his tongue over the taut peak, then shifted his sensual attention to her other breast, where he performed the same delicious ritual.

  He was driving her mad with the pleasure of it all. Tweaking both of her nipples with his hands, his mouth slid down her abdomen, planting tender kisses as he went. She exhaled a shaky breath when he bunched her loose skirt up around her waist.

  She opened her eyes and looked at him. He met her gaze, with his own golden green pools of desire. And something else … something beautiful and fathomless glowed in his eyes. Something she couldn’t define.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, almost reverently.

  Malcolm kissed the inside of one of her thighs. Then he did the same on the other side, letting his lips linger on her skin. She tensed her muscles in delicious anticipation, waiting for him to touch her where she wanted it the most.

  And then he did.

  His fingers found her center. He teased her through her thong then he moved the moist fabric aside and continued his exploration. She almost came up off the bed, her senses were completely and utterly focused on Malcolm, and the way his fingers touched the very heat of her.

  And when he moved his body upward
and flicked his tongue over her nipple, once again, all the air left her lungs on a passionate cry. A rush of molten desire swept through her at the combination of his mouth on her breast and his fingers deep inside of her.

  She thrashed her head back and forth as she could already feel the tension in her body starting to build.

  “Do you have a condom?” Tasia asked in a throaty whisper, somehow managing a rational thought in her lust-clouded brain. “I’m not on the pill.”

  Malcolm kissed the full part of her breast before answering. “I do.”

  “Good. Because I need you inside me. Now.”

  Malcolm chuckled softly. “Anxious, aren’t you?”

  “You’re making me feel so … amazing.” The truth was, she hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. If ever. Every touch stoked the embers of her desire. She was close, and she wanted to climax with him buried deep within her, and her thighs locked around his.

  Tasia gripped his shoulders as she tried to steady her breathing. She needed him with a ferocity she wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced before.

  “We’ve got all night, baby,” he whispered. Then he deftly turned her over onto her stomach. He smoothed his hands up the back of her legs, again eliciting the most delectable feelings. He undid the clasp at the back of her skirt and unzipped it. Tasia raised her hips to make it easier for him to pull it off.

  And then, stillness. Face down on the bed, Tasia waited. In the silent seconds that passed, she didn’t breathe.

  And then she felt it. Such a soft and fluttery touch. And yet it was like a searing jolt of heat to her body.

  His mouth was soft and gentle as it moved up the back of her leg. When he got to her bottom, he kissed her plump flesh, while slipping his hands beneath the straps of her thong. Then he pulled it down. Slowly.

  Prickles of pleasure spread across Tasia’s skin. And when she heard his growl she angled her head to look at him. She flashed him a coy smile, biting down on her bottom lip as she did.

  She loved that he liked what he saw.