“Would you mind telling the others for me?” I asked. “I think my brain needs a break. The whole thing is kind of exhausting.” Not to mention, I didn’t want to face Patrick with the thoughts running through my mind.
“Of course. I understand. And don’t you worry. I don’t think you could push Patrick away if you tried. I’ll have a talk with Patrick too, but he’s pretty strong when it comes to this stuff.”
I wasn’t so sure. When Gregory had gone, I stood where I was, feeling out of place and unsure where to go. I wasn’t hungry. Stupid Lila and her stupid shadow had ruined that for me. I honestly wanted to go be alone somewhere, but for some reason I scanned the cafeteria for a familiar face besides the few I normally sat with. I wasn’t long in finding one. Nicole…along with her cloudy counterpart.
She was sitting with her usual lunch companions—Tyler, Sam, and, of course, Josh. All of whom had shadows, although Nicole’s and Tyler’s appeared slightly different. Less sloshy and more swirly. That couldn’t be good. Maybe I could listen to Nicole’s shadow and see if I could help. I was still weary from last hour but had nowhere else to go and nothing better to do besides think about Patrick.
Once Josh spotted me walking towards them, he grinned as if he’d just been asked to the prom by the prettiest girl in school. A giddy sensation rippled through me, but I rejected the feeling immediately. How could I feel that way when I was worried about Patrick cheating on me?
“Hey, guys.” I sat down in a seat next to Nicole and across from Josh as though my sitting there was a commonplace occurrence.
“Uh...hi.” Nicole stammered. She grinned as though happy to see me but seemed on edge, like a kid trying to hide a lie from her parents. Actually, most of them did.
Except Josh. “Hey, Iris.” Was he blushing? He looked down at his tray and fiddled with his pop bottle. “Watcha been up to?” He met my eyes again eagerly as his shadow fizzled away until only a faint, transparent wavering above his head was left.
“Oh, you know, just normal, everyday stuff.” Listening to demons, killing them with my hands, hanging out at bars, preventing domestic violence...
After a few seconds of silence, he nodded his head. “Cool.”
I should’ve known Tyler would waste no time in jumping in and putting everyone at ease. He was the king of shattering awkward silences.
“How about the normal, everyday practice of eating? Have you done that lately?” He stuffed a potato chip into his mouth and motioned to the lack of food in front of me. His eyes became slits as he chewed and his lips turned up at one corner.
Nicole and Sam laughed, eagerly settling into the new lighthearted mood of the table. But Josh just smiled. His eyes had never left me.
“Of course I eat,” I answered Tyler with a smirk. “I’m just not really hungry today.”
“You can have some of my chicken fingers if you want.” Nicole pushed her tray toward me with hopeful eyes. A peace offering.
I truly wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t want to be rude. “Sure, thanks.” I grabbed one and dunked a small corner in her ketchup. If I ate slowly, maybe I’d be able to get away with being silent long enough to listen to Nicole’s shadow. Luckily, Sam picked up the conversation by droning on about some video game he’d played the night before. My blank expression would fit right in with the others.
I tried using my aura first to see if it would have any effect. I reached deep within, searching for enough light to push forward and onto her. But the effort was difficult. The aura was there. I could feel it. But I couldn’t access the light. Maybe my jealousy and anger were getting in the way. Those emotions didn’t exactly mesh well with inner light.
I frowned. Surely I could at least listen to her shadow. I gave that a try. Hearing a voice was harder than it was with Lexi but way easier than with Lila or the girls at the coffee shop.
A minute in and I wished it hadn’t been so easy. My speculations about the swirling in her and Tyler’s shadows were correct. Most of what I heard was sexual in nature and came from a voice so filthy and slimy, I had to resist the urge to go wash out my ears. They had to be sleeping together. Not only that, but the shadows’ entire focus was on lust and desire. Not once did the shadows use the word love or commitment. Apparently, that wasn’t necessary.
“Are you okay?” Nicole touched my arm and I jumped.
“Sorry.” I laughed. “Must have been daydreaming. Yeah, I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t. I gazed at the side of her face as she turned to listen to Tyler. I wasn’t okay because she wasn’t. And my mom and Jenny with dark masses still surrounding them? They weren’t fine either.
Wait. There was Lexi. I had at least successfully gotten rid of her shadow. I shot a glance at my normal table, and my heart sank. Lexi’s old friend had returned. She’d been free for only three days. Although not as large or concentrated, her shadow’s reincarnation was a reminder of my failure. My one and only triumphant game piece had just been kicked back to start.
I was about to sink my head into my arms, which were crossed on the table, but in two seconds the whole atmosphere of the cafeteria changed. Kids screamed. Some rushed away from a corner of the lunchroom. All trivial chatter had vanished. Everyone must’ve been thinking the same thing. What on earth happened?
Josh stood up and immediately took a protective stance in front of me at the edge of the table, peering over the crowd to see what was going on.
“Do you see anything?” Tyler asked, his tone drained of all humor.
“Um.” Josh squinted his eyes to get a better look. “It looks like Cameron Haddock pulled a knife on Owen.”
All four of us gasped. The situation was shocking but not hard to understand. Owen was a known bully. Cameron was an easy target. Apparently, he’d had enough.
“Are they okay? Has Cameron done anything yet?” What was I thinking sitting here? I needed to be helping. Still, Josh’s familiar, sturdy presence in front of me made me feel safe. Part of me didn’t want to move.
Patrick had other ideas. Before I knew what was happening, he dragged me by my arm to a thick pillar closer to the scene and pulled me down to a crouching position behind it.
“What are you doing?” I shook my arm indignantly and he reluctantly relaxed his grip.
“It’d be nice to know you were planning on sitting with Nicole for lunch. I was scared stiff when the fight broke out and I couldn’t find you.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really plan on it.” I peeked around the pillar but couldn’t see anything for the crowd. I recognized a few voices belonging to the Student Resource Officer and the principal and teachers on lunch duty. They spoke calmly to Cameron, trying to get him to let go of the knife. He yelled in protest.
“What’s going on?” I whispered.
“Cameron came up behind Owen and grabbed a hold of him. He’s holding the knife up to Owen’s throat, but he waves it around at anyone who comes close.”
Patrick wrapped his arm around me and tried to pull me back behind the pillar. I brushed him off again but refused to look at him. I hadn’t forgotten the reason I’d ditched him in the first place. In fact, him trying to protect me somehow made my frustrations worse.
He seemed hurt but let go. “What’s wrong?”
I hadn’t planned on talking to him about our issues so soon, but he’d asked for it.
“You really want to know? Fine. I’ll tell you. Lila’s shadow told her to get you back no matter what it took. She’s supposed to use seduction and memories you two shared. Patrick, she’s good at what she does. She’s the hottest girl in this school. I’m afraid…I’m afraid she’ll win you over. I’m afraid you’ll cheat on me like my sister’s husband cheated on her.” I crossed my arms and looked away to keep from crying. The heightened tension in the room wasn’t helping.
He stared at me, incredulous. “That’s what’s going on? You’re worried about something that will never happen? Iris, I don’t know that now is the bes
t time to talk about this.”
He was right. There were way more important things transpiring. But I’d already opened the can of worms. I would hear what he had to say. “How can you be so sure?”
“Iris, I’m not surprised that she’s going to try to lure me back to the darkness. And of course she’s going to use seduction. That’s her thing. But it’s not going to work. I don’t like her and I never will!”
The firm certainty in his voice should’ve quenched my insecurities, and it mostly did. But his certainty also had the added effect of making me feel stupid and as small as an insect. Why couldn’t I trust my boyfriend?
Kyra and Gregory joined us behind the pillar we’d taken as shelter.
“Iris, have you been able to hear anything from Cameron’s shadow yet?” Gregory looked at me, waiting for an answer. Once he saw my crestfallen face, however, he frowned. He glanced at Patrick who still appeared irritated, and then rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry you two are having a little spat or whatever, but this is important. Iris, we need you.”
I nodded, shoving my personal issues down deep so I could concentrate on Cameron. I tiptoed to the side a few feet to get a better view of the two boys.
Cameron moved back and forth nervously, holding onto Owen from behind. Cameron’s arms locked solidly around Owen’s chest, and his knife almost touched Owen’s neck. Cameron wasn’t muscular by any means, but his long, lanky arms proved to be enough to trap the terrified Owen. A black, dense fog resembling a human form floated behind the oppressed-turned-oppressor. A glimmering light also hovered above Cameron. But any time it came close, he shook his head and swung around with his knife as if shooing away a fly.
Another more defined, black-as-night silhouette hung back to the side closer to Owen. There was something dreadfully familiar about the sinister shadow hovering there just surveying the confrontation with a mocking grin like it had caused the chaos.
I closed my eyes and tried to shake off the feeling. I would have to work quickly. Finding an empathy tunnel to Cameron proved to be easy because he’d been a victim of bullying for so long. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for him? His helplessness and frustration readily found me as a wave of hollow words echoed to my ears.
“He’s always made a fool of you. Made you feel pathetic. You are pathetic. You’re weak.” As Cameron pushed the light figure farther and farther away, the shadow moved freely about him, a weird mix of bully and demented life coach. “Prove to everyone you’re better than that.” Make him wish he’d never messed with you. It’s not like you’re going to hurt him...”
I’d heard enough. Just like that I was out and hearing the whispers of worried students around me again.
I turned to Gregory. “He’s not planning on hurting him. He just wants to make a point and show he’s not weak.”
He and Kyra both nodded once. “All right,” Gregory said. “Kyra, approach Cameron from the front and try to talk him down. I’ll come from the back, kill the shadow with a prism, and then grab Cameron if needed. After he’s secure, get Owen out of the way.” He threw a pointed scowl at us and added, “Since you guys are a little preoccupied.” He rolled his eyes as he and Kyra shuffled towards the two boys.
As they left, a thought occurred to me. I whispered to Patrick, “Why can’t he tear the shadow to pieces like he did at that family’s house the other night? I mean, he is an angel.”
“Well he can’t exactly turn into his glowing self to do that in the middle of all these people, now can he?” His mouth twitched, a hint of a smile. He was trying to be funny but probably wasn’t sure how I’d react.
I peered up at him. I was determined to get over my fears and learn to trust. Patrick was not Austin. Nor was he my mother’s ex-boyfriend. “I’m sorry about not trusting you.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s only half your fault. I know how Lila is. She can get to people so easily. But you can trust me with this. Okay?”
I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ears. “Okay.” It would be hard, but I would do my best. That was all I could do.
When he put his arm around me this time, I didn’t pull away. All was well again.
“No!” Cameron’s ear-splitting yell broke through my peaceful reverie. Oh yeah. Except for that.
The light figure by Cameron was barely a glimmer, but Kyra’s glowing body more than made up for the loss of illumination. Her entire silhouette blazed intensely as she held her arms out to show she meant no harm. “You’ve already proven to him that you’re not going to take his bullying anymore. I think it’s safe to say he will never try to mess with you again. Now let him go and drop the knife.”
Cameron glanced back and forth between Kyra and the Student Resource Officer as they slowly approached him. He hesitated, sobbing, and dropped his arm slightly.
Gregory stepped in behind him and swung the gleaming object in his left hand across the back of the kid. The giant murky shadow dissipated as Gregory tucked away the prism so swiftly no one could have noticed.
Immediately, Cameron released Owen. The knife fell from his fingers to the floor with a loud clatter. As Owen rushed away toward Kyra, Cameron’s hands went to his face. He started to fall to his knees, but Gregory caught him, turned him around, and embraced him. Cameron sobbed in his arms.
The Student Resource Officer picked up the knife off the floor and slowly led Cameron out the door, still supported by Gregory. Kyra and the principal stayed, talking to a shaky Owen off to the side.
As the space began to clear and students began to move about freely again, I caught a familiar figure standing close to where the boys were. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was glaring at Kyra. Lila. She rolled her eyes as if unimpressed by the whole situation, swiveled on her heel, and stomped off.
I grabbed Patrick’s arm. “Did you see that?”
Patrick nodded. “Yeah, I saw. She was watching the whole time…” He scowled. “…looking amused.”
“Do you think she had anything to do with it?”
“I wouldn’t put it past her.” His eyes shifted to something else, so I followed his gaze. Kyra, Owen, and the principal were about to leave through a different exit. Owen’s shadow, which had apparently just become aware it was being left, rushed to follow. He was about to make contact with Owen’s back, but Kyra was faster. She pushed open the door with one hand and flung her other hand backwards, slicing the shadow through the middle without even looking. The shadow disappeared. After Kyra replaced her prism in her bag, she glanced back with a self-satisfied grin.
I loved that girl.
I twisted back around to see if Patrick had noticed, but his eyes were elsewhere. And by the look in them, his mind was elsewhere too. Somewhere dark and foreboding. I followed his gaze and found the same black silhouette I’d spotted earlier. Except this time, instead of grinning, the ominous shadow was glaring at Patrick with vengeance in his eyes.
“Donovan…” Patrick whispered without talking his eyes off the ink-black figure.
Donovan. The name of the demon that had coerced Patrick into a lifestyle of deceit and depravity. The demon that had stuck to him like glue after he’d failed the task he’d been assigned to do.
When I looked back, a shiver ran down my spine. Donovan was staring at me, and I swore desire burned in his eyes.
Then he dissipated until nothing but a wisp of black smoke was left.
I didn’t know what to make of such an odd look considering the circumstances and was too shaken to speak. Patrick must not have noticed because, eventually, he squeezed my leg and stood up, looking as though he’d aged a few years. “Well, I guess we’d better tell Gregory.”
“Why do you think he was here?” I said, pushing myself off the ground.
“I don’t know.” Patrick stared into the space where the wisp of smoke had been. “But whenever Donovan’s involved, it’s never good.”
Chapter 11
I eyed Jenny from the doorway of the bathroom as she touched up her makeup in
the mirror. Three days had passed since the cafeteria incident, and since we had seen Donovan. After telling Gregory about seeing Patrick’s former ‘boss,’ we’d all decided that having two different shadows after us for two different reasons basically sucked. But since then, I’d had time to get used to our new reality enough to be mentally and emotionally present for my oldest sister. “So you’re actually excited about this date with Austin?”
She paused thoughtfully, blush wand in hand. “Surprisingly? Yes.” She shrugged and continued to dust her cheeks. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s still hard for me to look at him sometimes. But I think tonight will be fun.”
I smiled. She’d been dealing with Austin’s affair in her own dysfunctional way for a while now. I was happy to see her optimistic. Even hopeful.
She leaned over and pulled me in for an awkward sideways hug and then put away her make-up to mess with her hair. I took that as my cue to leave her alone. Things had been a little tense between us since I’d seen her drunk at the bar and she’d threatened me to not say anything. Maybe she was finally turning around.
“Is Jenny done primping yet?” My mom asked once she saw me round the corner into the living room. There was a hint of frustration in her voice. Why wouldn’t she be happy for her oldest daughter? Was she being protective?
“Mom,” Hanna chided. “You know it’s kind of a big night for her.”
“I know. I know. It’s just...it’s been kind of nice having the three of us girls all single together.” She glanced at me. “No offense, Iris.”
I shook my head. “None taken.” But as I retreated to my bedroom to get ready for my own night out, I frowned. She wasn’t being protective. She was jealous. Jealous because she was lonely.
I’d barely changed clothes when Hanna rapped lightly on my door and then let herself in. “Hey,” she said as she went to sit on my bed.
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