by Quil Carter
“I will never see Ryan being fried alive as Silas taunted and fucking tortured me as being something I deserved,” I snarled. “I won’t see watching you, you fucking trained dog, kill Cristo in front of me, as being something I deserved. I won’t–”
“That… that was Cristo’s punishment…”
“Then why the fuck did I have to watch? He did it to punish me for loving Cristo more than him. And you know what, Nero?” I snapped. “I still do. Fuck him. I’m not buying into this twisted fucking way Silas has us all living. I refuse to be subservient to a monster.”
Nero held up his hands. “Elish… I love you, but… you’re ruining your life holding onto all of this hate for him. Silas isn’t perfect… you… baby, you really seem to forget everything he’s been through, how sad he gets. It’s not just you that gets depressed and low. He’s over a hundred and fifty years old, he watched the world end, he watched the war happen and the bombs fall and destroy everything he once knew.”
“He ended it,” I said bitterly.
“The government was ending it, Eenie. He told me the story one night… he… he’s an amazing guy, Elish. Just give him a chance to show you.” Nero picked up Ceph, who was now slamming his small chubby hands onto the container like a drum. “If you’d just make peace with him… I mean, right now you’re using your hate for him to keep doing shit you shouldn’t be doing, and that’s only getting you more punishments and driving more of a wedge between you two. You can either keep making it worse… or you can be the intelligence chimera you are and try and fix things.”
“He broke our relationship,” I said coolly. “I owe him nothing. I might’ve made some mistakes but that doesn’t give him the right to treat me like garbage.”
“Maybe he’s thinking the same thing.” Nero walked to the door, and as I glared at his back, Ceph turned to me and waved bye.
I didn’t want to wave back because I was angry, but then realized that there was nothing pettier than refusing to wave back at a happy three-month-old because you were upset. So I waved to the damn child, and quickly closed the door behind Nero.
He was wrong. Nero was just blinded by his devotion to Silas, and he was a brute chimera too. He didn’t understand the complexity of the issues.
Hell, Nero had been beaten by Silas as well. He’d been tormented, as had Garrett. We all had our wounds from the king… they were just used to being slaves now. I wasn’t. I’d never be. I refused to be his slave.
But as I sat down on my bed and stewed over this, that derisive voice in my head made itself known.
And it was telling me that this wasn’t about hatred, that I didn’t hate Silas like I so badly wanted to believe.
It was telling me that deep down…
… I was just terrified of him.
I didn’t like being scared of another person. When I went to that high school I ended up being a god amongst them. They were scared of me, I ruled them. In every aspect of my life I was the king of my own kingdom, except when it came to Silas. He ruled me, and he made it known that he ruled me.
I used to see fifteen as the age I would be an adult… but I felt like I had less control over my life than I did when I was eight. That was a bitter, sour pill to swallow. Why did this have to be the life I was given?
An hour after Nero had left, there was a second knock on my door. This one made my heart fall, bloody and twitching, to my feet, and there it stayed.
It was Silas.
Why did it have to be Silas?
There was another knock and I further sank when I heard a jingling of keys.
Here we go again.
The door swung open and I saw Silas standing in the doorway. The king and my master had two glasses of what seemed to be rum and cola in his hands and his eyes were glassy. It was obvious he was drunk, which had my body and chest tightening up like a wrung washcloth.
Silas closed the door behind him as I stared, then turned to me. “I brought you a drink,” he said. He walked over to me, his movements weren’t as sloppy as I’d expected them to be, but the smell of alcohol was all over him.
He handed me the rum and cola. This must’ve been some sort of excuse to come into my room. “Thank you,” I said quietly. “I was just about to head to bed…”
Silas scoffed at this. “You don’t go to bed this early. You don’t need as much sleep anymore, do you? The – the others are training themselves to sleep less as well. My chimera… my chimeras don’t need as much sleep anymore.” Silas sat down on the bed beside me; I was a ridged statue sitting absolutely still, and I cringed when I felt him pat my shoulder.
“I was really proud of you today,” he said to me. “The council seemed excited about the proposal. I talked to Salazar for an hour about the finer details of it.” He took a drink. “I told you I was going to call those two new chimeras Sanguine and Jack, right?”
I nodded. He’d told me last week and made sure I wrote the names down correctly, pointing out the errors in my own coding since my name was supposed to be Elias. “I remember.”
“I was thinking it over and the names Nyx and Eros kept sticking out to me. Nyx for the red-eyed one, Eros for our Grim Reaper. You know… whenever I have those little thoughts that won’t go away, the ones that just nag at you, I usually give into them. I was debating telling Perish to change the coding. But I won’t have to anymore. Since those will be the names of the districts, I can no longer use them as chimera names. Good district names though.” Silas said this while staring at the rug that was in the middle of my room. He wasn’t looking at me.
“Yes, those are good names,” I said back.
An awkward silence seeped into the room after that, and it stayed as Silas stared at the rug and I just busied myself taking several deep drinks of the rum and cola.
“Ceph is growing up really fast, isn’t he?” Silas said after a full three minutes of silence. “He learned how to wave just a few days ago and he’s always so happy. Nero was a cheerful baby too. I just hope he doesn’t learn how to take his diaper off like that boy kept doing. If so… at least we’ll always have duct tape, right?”
“Right,” I responded. But as I said this my eyes slowly shifted over to Silas. His speech was improving and his eyes were focusing better.
I think he’d taken Intoxone. He was sobering himself up.
Silas ran a hand over his short blond hair, then rubbed his nose. “The twins will be out soon… just a few more days, maybe a week. It’ll be nice to have three little ones running around… they bring so much life to the house. And our new sengils will be ready to come into the family too. Have you visited any of them yet?”
“No,” I said. I sighed after that, I just wanted him to go.
And that was where I made my first mistake.
“Why don’t you just talk to me?” he suddenly whispered. “Can’t…” Silas’s head turned to me, and I saw his eyes fill. “Can’t you see I’m trying?”
Anger gripped me and it gripped me hard.
He was trying?
Cristo lying in a pool of blood flashed through my vision, as did Ryan and his agonizing screams. And Perish… can’t forget about Perish who’d had his brain ripped open and fucked with so he was no longer the person I’d grown up with. He was now Silas’s slave, a manufactured fucking slave. But hey, it sounds like he’s getting moments where his old self is back, just enough to beg for me to fix him… which I cannot.
Then I saw myself lying in the corner of the downstairs living room, wondering if I’d seen my last sunrise.
And hell… let’s go back further. How about the billions of people he killed? The billions of animals, the thousands and thousands of years of culture that he destroyed with that Satan-spawn of a boyfriend he’d had. How about those people? That blood that was on Silas’s hands?
And he was trying?
“Can’t you see I…” I paused and my face became tight as I scowled. A strange feeling was coming over me, as if a warm blanket was slowly being draped o
ver my brain. “Can’t you see I… want you to…” My eyes closed and I tried to center myself, tried to get my mind to come back to me but it was… starting to float away. I was chasing it, like a child chases a butterfly. If I could just… grasp it, I’d never let it go and I would no longer feel like I was spinning in a whirlpool.
“I want you to leave,” I gasped. When I opened my eyes I began to fall back onto the bed, but Silas grabbed me.
What did he do to me?
Silas held onto me and helped me steady myself, then he rose to his feet and locked the door of my bedroom. I watched him with glassy eyes as he came back towards me… and began to unbutton his shirt.
“You don’t feel as tense and anxious anymore, do you?” Silas kneeled down in front of me, his shirt now open. He began to unbutton mine as I stared at him in fear. “I look forward to your thanks for me making this easier on you.”
Even though my mind was swimming and my body was hot from the inside out, I still felt fear over his words.
He’d… drugged me, hadn’t he?
“What are you doing?” I whispered. My head fell, it weighed so much it was difficult to keep it up, and I was given a full view of Silas sliding my blue button-down off of my shoulders.
Silas raised a hand and touched it to me cheek. He stroked it gently and a smile came to his face. “Closing the distance between us, love,” he said. “I don’t want to take you kicking and screaming… and yet it is my right to have you. I came up with a lovely solution. I think perhaps… you just need to see how close we can be.”
Oh fuck no. He can’t be serious…
This can’t be happening.
I tried to move my head from Silas’s touch, but only my mouth and eyes twitched to get away from him. This drug was taking me and it was taking me quickly – and he knew it.
A sickening nausea coated my stomach, and the disgusting feeling seemed to fill it with stones. This drug had taken control of my own body away from me. It was as if the puppet master had descended down from his tower to move the toy himself, no longer satisfied merely pulling strings. “Don’t do this to me,” I whimpered.
Silas shushed me, then lowered his face and kissed my neck. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered, and his lips made contact with my skin a second time. “Just relax. You’ll enjoy it.” Then his head rose and both hands were clasped on either side of my face. “You’re so damn beautiful.”
He leaned in and kissed me then, his lips locking on mine. It took every taxed neuron in my brain, but I managed to pull away with a sob.
This didn’t faze him. My fear and horror of what he was doing to me meant nothing to him, and this was never more obvious than when he pulled away and I saw his face.
Silas was smirking. “You’ll be dissolving in my hands soon enough,” he said. And he began to unbutton and unzip the pants that I was wearing. When the front of them was open, he pushed my chest and I had to quickly put my arms out behind me to keep myself from falling backwards. During my moment of being off-balance, he slid my pants and boxer briefs off of me, and I became naked in front of him.
In front of this man who had been my guardian, my master, my creator, and my king. This man who I had once worshipped, but now… but now there was no one in this world I had a greater fear of. No one that I wanted to get away from more.
Silas’s smirking face swept my naked body, his eyes travelling slowly to take in everything he thought I had to offer him. When they fell on my groin, they remained there, and he picked up my flaccid penis and rubbed it with his fingers.
Jolts of pleasure went through me at his touch, but my entire body also became rock. I stayed as still as I could, willing myself to be anywhere but here in my room, and he continued to touch me.
“Relax,” Silas whispered. “This will help us. It’s helped my relationship with your brothers quite well. We’ve become closer than we’ve ever been. You’re just so stubborn, aren’t you? My golden boy.” He lowered his head and when I looked down I saw his lips close around the head of my penis. His hand then slid down to the base, and I felt the warmth of inside his mouth, and then an even warmer tongue began to rub against the glans.
“Just stop,” I said faintly. I hated how it felt. I knew I had no control over how my body would react to his touch, but I still despised not only my body for physically responding to what he was doing… but my brain for making it feel good to me. “I just want to… go to bed.”
Silas’s mouth completely covered my penis, then he slowly withdrew his mouth and looked up at me with a smile. “Then why are you getting hard?” He gave my stiffening dick another stroke, then his mouth returned and continued to suck and lick me.
I put a hand on his head and tried to push him away. My strength was gone though and there was nothing behind my movements, instead I only dug my short fingernails into his blond hair and tried to ignore what was happening to me.
But there was no ignoring it. And as I got fully hard inside of King Silas’s mouth, the warm, tight pressure intensified, and my breathing began to quicken. Silas heard this, I bet his ears were taxed listening to every sound I made both internally and externally, and in response to this, his movements became eager.
Without realizing it, the stone that had encased my body began to crumble. I was relaxing under this intense feeling, and soon found myself leaning back with my hands behind me to hold me up. And when Silas took my entire length into his mouth, his lips touching the base and the blond strands that surrounded it, my legs automatically opened to allow him more room.
This felt good… it felt really good. The trepidation was leaving without me even realizing it, and the whimpers of fear were soon replaced with low moans of pleasure weaved in between my own rapid breathing.
When the pressure began to build and my own sexual noises now filled the room, he removed his mouth and rose. I watched him, dazed from the drugs but also the trance his acts upon me had put me in, and when he leaned down and kissed me, I was too deep into it to pull away.
Silas broke the kiss quickly. “Your lips are tight and closed, relax and open them, take my lead,” he whispered. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to kiss him. But he locked our lips again and urged mine open.
I hated myself for it afterwards, but at the time my body was demanding for me to give him what he wanted so he could finish what he’d started previously. That was the sole reason for indulging him, and even years later it would poison me that I gave into him and his manipulation.
I softened my lips and opened them at his urging, and as we kissed deeply. It didn’t feel strange to me which also drew derision, in the heat of the moment it only amplified the pleasurable feelings running freely throughout me.
“There we go,” Silas whispered when he broke the kiss. He kissed me a third time, the same intensity as before, but during this one I felt his tongue slip into my own mouth.
And that tongue sought out my own, even though it was hiding from him like a scared dog. Silas ran his tongue along it and urged it to greet him, and when I finally gave in, I became aware of his own heavy breathing.
This single act triggered something in Silas. His movements became more urgent, his hands began to slide up and down the sides of my body. I didn’t see this as a warning sign at the moment, but later on, I’d realize what a mistake I’d made allowing him to kiss me in such a way.
Silas pulled away from me, his breathing hot on my cheek. He then got back down onto his knees and a spasm of anticipation ripped through me when he grasped my fully hard cock into his hand.
“What do you wish for me to do, Elish?” Silas’s green eyes flickered up to mine, and he gave me a smirk. His hand slid down my penis, hot and twitching under his touch. “Tell me.”
I reeled at this, and even though my real self was buried beneath a mountain of hormones and sexual desire, I still felt hatred at his toying words.
He had me right where he wanted. This was his fucking plan. Silas was going to drug me until I barely knew
which way was what, and then he was going to make me beg him to let him finish me off when he’d successfully gotten me to play into his hand.
This wasn’t me sitting on this bed. This was the epitome of a fifteen-year-old chimera teenager being sexually manipulated against his will. He’d taken away all of my self-control and now he was making me his slave… in the last area I’d had sole control of.
And I was helpless… I was helpless because my body was screaming at me to let him continue, let him finish me off. Even though he was stripping away my pride with every fucking lick, every fucking kiss… my body wanted it and the primal areas of my brain wanted it as well. I’d lost the game the moment I took the first drink of that god damn rum and coke.
No… I’d lost it years before that.
I hated myself… I hated myself so much my eyes were beginning to burn.
“Keep going,” I said. And a large piece of myself broke off… and fell onto his lap.
For all I knew, it was the last piece I had.
The smirk on his face didn’t disappear until he was taking me back into his mouth. I hated that smirk, just as I hated so many other things about him. I swear he knew what was going through my head, he knew I wasn’t able to control myself… and he fucking loved it.
Silas grasped the shaft as his mouth toyed and licked the head, then he began to suck on it while his hand moved back and forth like he was revving the throttle on a motorcycle. These repetitive movements acted like an accelerant, and I could feel the tight pressure multiplying rapidly.
I was trying to stifle every moan that fell on my lips, and although I could with some concentration, my heavy breathing was impossible to control. Even with my mouth closed I was taking in hard breaths through my nose, and when it became all the harder to control the vocal signs of the pleasure rushing through me, I began to bite on my cheek and tongue.
The peak came swiftly and I couldn’t stifle the gasp nor the moan that tumbled me. My body tensed up, the hand that was on Silas’s head clenched his hair, and my other one dug into the blankets that I’d been lying on. I let it roll through me, both hating and loving every moment it had me in its throes, and when I glanced down during the peak of its hold on me, I saw Silas with his lips firmly locked over the head, every shot of semen going directly into his mouth.