Captain

by Lauren Rowe

  “Charlotte, I’m perfectly sane. Ryan’s gonna be Josh’s brother in two days and he’s a manwhore of epic proportions. He’s a nonstarter.”

  “Why do you think he’s a manwhore? You said yourself the pterodactyl’s story about him was all bullshit.”

  “Yeah, he’s not a lying cheater like I originally thought. But I’ve called him a manwhore multiple times and he’s never corrected me. Babe, no man can screw like he does without lots of practice.” I sigh. “God only knows how many women he’s made feel exactly the way he’s making me feel this week—like I’m the most special girl in the world. Clearly, that’s just what he does—and then he moves on.”

  “Oh my freaking God.” Charlotte sighs. “Do me a favor, would you? Ask Ryan exactly how many women he’s made feel ‘like the most special girl in the world’ and then ‘moved on from’ over the past three months. Would you do that for me?”

  “Why on earth would I do that? I don’t want to hear about Ryan’s many conquests any more than he wants to hear about the number of times I’ve changed the batteries on my vibrator.”

  “Honey. You two need to talk. You’re obviously falling in love with him.”

  “No. Look, Char, I totally get why you’re worried, but I promise I won’t let myself get too wrapped up in the fairytale, okay? I know Ryan seems perfect and it feels like we’re falling in love—but I’m well aware it’s all a role-play in paradise. Frankly, it’s good he’s an epic manwhore—knowing that is what’s enabled me to let loose with him and have so much fun. But I’ve got my eyes wide open and my heart firmly guarded and I know what he is. Now stop worrying about me and I’ll talk to you when you get back from your cruise. I’ve totally got this.”

  Charlotte exhales with exasperation. “If you say so, Crazy Girl. But if it turns out you’re not quite as right about all this as you think and you need me for any reason while I’m on the cruise, email me. There’s apparently no cell-phone coverage at all on the cruise, but I’ll be able to log onto Wi-Fi every night.”

  “Thanks, but I won’t need you. I’m having fun with a beautiful manwhore, pretending we’re in a fairytale. And when the week’s over, I promise I won’t let myself get hurt. There’s only two more days left of this fantasy. Surely, I can keep myself from falling in love with any man for that long. Don’t worry—I’ve got this.”

  Chapter 58

  Ryan

  “How many cards?” Josh asks, looking at me.

  “Two,” I say, giving him my lame-duck cards in exchange for new ones. “And make ’em good ones, Lambo, for the love of God.”

  For the past hour, I’ve been sitting at a table in Josh’s bungalow next to Zander, the two of us drinking Scotch and playing poker with Josh, Jonas, Reed, Henn, and a couple of Josh’s old fraternity brothers.

  Yeah, that’s right: Zander and I are playing poker with Josh’s brother and closest friends. It’s a little random, I know, but the way it happened makes perfect sense: Keane, Z, Colby, and I were heading down to the beach for some kayaking when one of Kat’s (highly attractive) friends from college sashayed past us in her barely-there-string-bikini and murmured something to Keane that made him turn on his heel and follow her (calling over his shoulder, “Go ahead without me, guys!”).

  So, Zander, Colby, and I wound up kayaking without Keane, and, afterwards, as we three were heading back in from the beach, we ran into Josh and his closest buddies on their way to play poker in Josh’s bungalow, which is when they invited us to join in. Z and I accepted the invitation while Colby begged off, and, now, here Z and I are, the two of us smokin’ cigars and drinkin’ Scotch and hangin’ like homies with Josh and his closest crew.

  “How many cards, Z?” Josh asks, chewing on the end of his cigar.

  “Three,” Zander replies, tossing his cast-offs to Josh.

  “So how you feeling on your last night as a free man, Josh?” Jonas asks his brother.

  “Like a kid on Christmas Eve,” Josh replies. “Oh, hey, by the way, Kat doesn’t want me to see her on our wedding day ’til she walks down the aisle in her dress—so can she sleep with Sarah tonight and you sleep here?”

  “Yeah, Sarah already told me,” Jonas says. “It’s fine. I mean, not sleeping with my wife tonight is a huge sacrifice, but I’ll consider it one of my wedding gifts to you.”

  “It’s your wedding gift to Kat and Kat alone. I don’t want these stupid sleeping arrangements any more than you do, bro.”

  “Happy wife, happy life,” Jonas says. “It’s the key to the kingdom.”

  “No doubt.”

  “Yo, Henn, it’s your bet,” Reed says.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know—I’m thinking,” Henn says. “Why’d you have to deal me such shitty cards, Joshua?” He lays down his cards, facedown. “I’m out, thanks to your piss-poor card-dealing.”

  Josh chuckles.

  Reed shoves a stack of chips into the pot. “Looks like Mr. Faraday dealt me all your good cards, Henny-Baby.”

  “Bah, you’re bluffing,” Josh says to Reed. “I can read you like a book, Rivers—and it’s clear to me you’ve got nuttin’.” He shoves a bunch of chips into the kitty to match Reed’s. “You might have a Midas touch when it comes to selling music to the masses, but you’re about to become my little bitch when it comes to cards.”

  “I guess we’ll find out soon enough who’s the little bitch, won’t we?” Reed says.

  “Hey, Reed,” I pipe in. “Speaking of selling music to the masses, I’ve been meaning to thank you for signing 22 Goats. It’s a dream come true for the guys.”

  “No need to thank me,” Reed replies. “I didn’t do it as a favor. I did it because I like making truckloads of money off of great music and your brother checks off all the boxes.”

  “Well, regardless, I still feel the need to express my personal gratitude to you. I would have hated to be stuck on an island for a week with Dax if you’d turned him down.”

  “Actually, Dax never had anything to worry about,” Reed says. “I was always gonna sign him. The only question in my mind was whether to sign the other two dudes along with him.”

  My stomach clenches.

  Josh pipes in: “Ah, that’s why you wanted to see them play live before pulling the trigger?”

  “Yeah. I wasn’t sure if the other guys were gonna cut it.”

  My head is spinning. I can’t imagine a more nightmarish scenario for my baby brother than Reed offering him a deal that didn’t include his two best friends. I glance at Zander and it’s clear to me he’s thinking the exact same thing.

  “You wouldn’t really have cut out the friends, would you?” Henn says to Reed. “That seems a bit heartless, even for you.”

  “Sure, I would have,” Reed says breezily. “I’m running a business in a cut-throat industry, not assigning bunk beds at summer camp. Honestly, I was leaning sharply toward a solo offer when I first got here, but then I fucked up by mentioning my dastardly plan to T-Rod and she slapped the motherfucking shit out of me until I cried mercy.” He laughs.

  Every hair on my body stands up, all at once. Reed talked to Tessa about Dax... and she lobbied Reed on my brother’s behalf?

  “Ah, T-Rod stepped on your neck, did she?” Josh says, chuckling. “God, I love it when she does that. She’s so quiet and docile most of the time and then bam. Out of nowhere, if she feels strongly about something, she roars to life and lays down the motherfucking law.”

  “Yeah, she was pretty passionate about the topic, that’s for sure,” Reed says. “And she was right, actually. I must say, the girl’s got good instincts.”

  My heart is exploding in my chest. Holy shit. Tessa fought for my brother and averted catastrophe for him? I clear my throat and force myself to sound casual. “What’d T-Rod say to you to change your mind, out of curiosity?”

  “She said if I didn’t sign the full band I was a ‘fucking idiot’ and ‘devoid of a soul,’” Reed replies. He chuckles. “And then she went on to argue her point by smartly sup
plying every logical reason why signing Dax as a solo artist would turn out to be a stupid business decision.” He shrugs. “At the end of the day, her points were valid so I decided to listen. Plus, I didn’t want her to break my legs with a baseball bat, as she threatened to do. Yeesh.”

  Josh and Reed chuckle again.

  But I’m not chuckling. I’m too stunned. Holy fuck, I can’t believe my ears. When nobody was watching, when there was nary a Morgan in sight to witness her actions and give her props for her heroics, Tessa Rodriguez went to bat for my baby brother behind the scenes?

  “T-Rod’s damned smart,” Reed continues. “And brutally honest, too. I never feel like she’s bullshitting me—a rarity in my line of work.”

  “In mine, too,” Josh says. “Hence, the reason I value her so much.”

  “Yeah, about that,” Reed says. “Seriously, man, if you ever feel like you wanna cut T-Rod loose for any reason, send her my way. I’d hire her in a heartbeat. Not kidding.”

  “Nope, sorry, Old Man River,” Josh says. “You can’t have T-Rod, ever.” He places his bet. “And, please, take that comment as broadly as I meant it.”

  Henn and I exchange a look.

  Reed laughs. “Why you always gotta be such a hard-ass about your precious little assistant, Faraday? You’re assuming I’d be a total dick to her. Maybe I wouldn’t be. Maybe T-Rod would be the girl who finally slays my demons, once and for all. Maybe she’d save me, man.” He chuckles again.

  “Not bloody likely,” Henn says, piping in. “And that’s not a knock on T-Rod’s demon-slaying capabilities, by the way, but a commentary on the virility of your particular strain of demon.”

  “Bah. I’m a total softie, deep down,” Reed says, shoving some chips into the pot. “Raise you a hundred.”

  “You’re not a softie, bro,” Josh says. “A great guy? Yes. The best friend, ever? For sure. But a ‘softie’? Hell no. Your bet, Zander.”

  Zander looks stressed. If I had to guess what’s going on in his head, I’d say he’s loving his cards but the stakes are getting too high for his measly personal-trainer-at-the-local-gym budget.

  “I’ll spot you whatever you need to stay in, Z,” I say. “Bet as big as you want. If you wind up losing my money, pay me back with some personal training sessions. If you win, pay me back from the winning pot.”

  “Thanks, Captain. Much obliged.”

  “No, no, Captain,” Josh says. “Zander’s bets are on me tonight.”

  “No, I got him,” I say. “He’s my brother.”

  Josh waves me off. “Then he’s mine, too. Keep your money, Ry. I’ve got him. I’ve had some massive poker losses to Reed over the years that I want to vicariously avenge.” Josh slides a mammoth stack of chips over to Zander. “Get him, Z. Make him cry.”

  “Jesus, I’m getting it from all sides,” Reed mumbles, but his tone is jovial.

  Zander thanks Josh profusely and immediately shoves all his newly acquired chips into the pot to match and then raise Reed’s bet.

  “I like your style, Z,” Reed says. “But, seriously, Faraday, why are you always so damned protective of T-Rod? She’s a big girl. Let her make her own decisions. If I take a shot and it doesn’t work out, I promise I won’t leave her any worse for wear. In fact, even if her heart gets smashed into a thousand pieces, I promise she’ll nonetheless thank me for the ride.”

  I clench my jaw tightly and focus all my energy on not leaping up and throwing a punch. I glance at Henn and he subtly shakes his head, warning me not to react.

  Josh addresses Reed: “I’m not gonna risk anyone ‘taking a shot’ with her and smashing her heart, motherfucker. She’s like a sister. Plus, on a selfish note, it’s in my personal interest to keep that woman from getting her heart broken. Last time she did, it took months for her to fully bounce back, and I happen to like T-Rod running my world at full capacity.”

  “Speaking of T-Rod running your world, have you given her a raise lately?” Jonas asks. “You do realize you’ve had that poor girl doing the work of three people lately, right?”

  “Dude, never worry about T-Rod getting herself paid—the girl’s a fucking shark. The best negotiator I’ve ever met, besides you and Reed, and I’m not even joking about that. She squeezes me for more than any of my friends pay their personal assistants, by far.”

  “Oh, come on, Josh, T-Rod’s not just a personal assistant anymore and you know it,” Jonas says. “She outgrew that job description years ago.”

  “True.”

  “You know what we should do?” Jonas says. “We should find Theresa an official role at Climb & Conquer. Maybe put her on the sales team? Or, fuck it, maybe she should manage a regional team? I bet she’d kick ass doing that, she’s so good at juggling a million things.”

  “No doubt T-Rod would kick ass at anything she tried,” Josh says. “But I don’t know. She’s too valuable to me to give her up.”

  “Don’t be a selfish bastard. You’re not utilizing her to her fullest potential and you know it. T-Rod’s no longer the naïve girl you hired six years ago—she’s ready to spread her wings. Surely, you can see that?”

  Josh looks thoughtful. “I’ll think about it.”

  My heart is racing. Fuck. I don’t know what to say here to help Tessa’s cause—but I know I’ve got to say something. “I, uh, was talking to T-Rod the other day... by the pool,” I begin. “And she was telling me how much she admires the mission of Climb & Conquer. She seemed excited about your plans to grow the company.”

  “See?” Jonas says. “T-Rod’s obviously thinking about this kind of thing, too. Look, maybe the next thing for her isn’t an official role at C & C, but all I’m saying is when you get back from your honeymoon, you should take a good, long look and think about ways to utilize her beyond making sure your fucking Lamborghini’s washed.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” Josh says. “I’ll give it some serious thought, I promise. Thanks for putting a bug in my ear, bro.”

  “Hey, you’ve got the charm and I’ve got the brains, remember? I wouldn’t wanna fall down on my job.”

  Josh looks at Reed. “And in the meantime, keep your paws off her, you fucking menace.”

  Reed laughs. “Fine. But only because it’s you.”

  I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

  Josh looks down at the cards in his hand. “From here on out, nobody goes near Theresa Rodriguez unless they’re planning to make her happy for the rest of her fucking life, and that’s final.” He looks up from his cards, straight at me. “Got that?”

  “Got it,” Reed replies.

  I subtly nod and Josh looks back down at his cards.

  Oh my God, the hair on the back of my neck is standing up. I just realized something—something big. I want to make Tessa happy for the rest of her fucking life.

  I look at Henn, my jaw hanging open, and he’s already staring right at me, his eyebrows raised, a question on his face. Without hesitation, I nod decisively at him, answering his implicit query and Henn flashes me a broad smile in return.

  Holy shit. I want to make Tessa Rodriguez happy for the rest of her life.

  “Hey, can I ask you something?” Reed says to Josh. “I’ve always wondered: how come you never made a play for T-Rod yourself? I can’t imagine withstanding the temptation, day in and out, for six fucking years.”

  Josh shrugs. “Because Jonas would have killed me.”

  Jonas laughs. “Fuck yeah, I would have. Josh was just coming off being a fucking train wreck back then. I told him if he hit on a single employee, whether his own personal employee or at Faraday & Sons, I’d fucking kill him.”

  “But, honestly, I wouldn’t have touched T-Rod, anyway,” Josh says. “I can’t say the same about some of the women at Faraday & Sons—those women definitely owe their unblemished virtue to the iron hand of Jonas P. Faraday—but when it came to Theresa, I was never even remotely tempted. I know it’s hard to believe looking at her now, but when T-Rod first started with me straight outta college, she
was this sweet, naïve, sheltered little thing. Obviously intimidated as hell. She barely said a word to me, other than ‘Yes, sir’ and ‘No, sir’ and ‘Right away, sir.’” He laughs. “Right off the bat, I felt totally protective toward her, like a big brother, you know? Of course, I could objectively see T-Rod was a strikingly beautiful woman, but there just weren’t any sparks of that type for me. She walked through the door and, instantly, I felt like she was some kind of baby bird needing my protection.”

  “Well, your baby bird has grown into a badass swan,” Reed says. “If you haven’t noticed.”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed. And, like I said, keep your fucking paws off my motherfucking swan, you fucking menace.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Reed says. “I heard ya loud and clear, sweetheart.”

  “Okay, what you got, Rivers?” Josh says. “Time for the rubber to finally hit the road, fucker.”

  Reed lays down his cards. “Three aces, son. Read ’em and weep.”

  Josh lays down his cards. “I got a pair of fours. I was totally bluffing.”

  Everyone laughs.

  “What you got, Zander?” Josh asks. “Please tell me it’s something that’s gonna beat this fucker and make him cry.”

  Zander lays down his cards with a flourish and flashes a huge smile. “Full house, gentlemen. Read ’em and weep.”

  Everyone at the table cheers and laughs and hurls taunts at Reed as Zander rakes in his chips. I try to applaud and cheer, too—I’m thrilled for Zander, of course—but I can’t seem to focus on the game at the moment. I’m too lost in my swirling thoughts. I want to make Tessa Rodriguez happy for the rest of her life. I know it to be true as surely as I know my own name: I love Tessa and I always will and I want to make her happy for the rest of her fucking life. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell her tomorrow night.

  Chapter 59

  Tessa

  I knock on the door of Josh and Kat’s bungalow, my skin buzzing. I’ve only got a few minutes before I’ve got to meet up with the wedding coordinator to help her with a thousand things today, but I wanted to quickly stop by Josh and Kat’s bungalow to give them my paltry attempt at a wedding gift to kick off their Big Day. But, to my surprise, it’s Jonas who opens the bungalow door, not Josh or Kat.