“I’m going to get an answer from her on how they got there, but I didn’t touch her!” he yelled. Then, sighing audibly into the phone, he said, “I’m guilty here, but not of fucking around. I’m sorry I lost your trust, and you can stay mad, but I’m out of my mind with you out there alone. I need you with me. We need to have this discussion in person. Where are you?” He sounded despondent.
Tears were stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them escape. “I know I said I wouldn’t run, but this is different. I deserve better than that. But then I left, and I didn’t know where to go. You let me rely on you, and now I have nowhere to go…”
“Yes, you do. You have a place with me. You belong to me,” My heart squeezed at the anguish in his voice. “Please, tell me where you are,” he asked again in earnest.
Relenting, unsure of what else to do, I walked along the sidewalk, looking for the name of the building. “XR Industries building…” I read out what else marked my location and listened to Jonas repeat the information to David. Walking back under the scaffolding, I realized I was well beyond saving my clothing and wasn’t fit for the expensive upholstery in his car. “I can’t get in your car,” I sighed. “I’m soaking wet. You go on to your meetings. I’ll make my way back and we’ll talk later.”
“No, you won’t. Listen to me, you’re more important. You mean…everything to me. The world to me. I can’t…I won’t let you go, Lily. I won’t be able to do anything until you’re safe with me. Please don’t hang up or leave. Let me come and get you.” His desperation tugged at my heart, so much so the words tumbled out of my mouth as I cried into the phone. “I love you, Jonas. So much, it hurts sometimes. But when I saw Melissa had been in our bed…I realized you won’t ever love me, and I can’t…no, I won’t, waste any more time trying to convince you to.”
I searched for more words to say, but nothing else came, and the line went quiet. Jonas has nothing to say back to me. My mind raced with all the implications of his silence, none of which had me wanting to wait for his arrival and possible painful rejection. Nevertheless, I held the phone clutched to my ear, waiting and hoping for even the sound of his breath to let me know he had heard me. Every second that passed, a piece of my heart broke, fearing this would indeed be the end of everything between us.
As the dreaded silence grew longer, my hand slipped, easing the receiver away from my ear. I was about to simply press the ‘end call’ button, when I was distracted by a set of flashing lights on an approaching car. Jonas?
My heart jumped into my throat as the car slowed and halted in front of me. The back door swung wide, and out came Jonas Crane, wearing a stern but determined look on his face as he closed the distance between us. And there he stood, letting his suit grow damp, towering over me. Before I could say a word, he pulled me tightly into his arms, mouth right against my ear, and whispered, “I love you, Lily.”
JONAS HALF CARRIED me to the car, but once we were under David’s umbrella, I lifted my arm and said, “Please, let me go.”
He hesitated and measured me for a moment, but then released me. “We have a bag for your coat and a blanket in the back seat.”
I peeled off my coat and placed it in a bag, the whole time feeling the intensity of Jonas’s presence surrounding me, his will pressing down upon me to surrender over to the love and care he had waiting in his arms. And all I wanted to do was bask in his declaration and let him take over. But I no longer felt as though I could, not with Melissa and his lie hanging over us both. Whether he was ready to admit it, there was something between them, and a true choice would have to be made if Jonas was actually mine. If he truly wanted me.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice surprisingly even. I climbed inside the car and sat down on the blanket, crossing my arms to cover the shiver that had started up my spine once the adrenaline had waned. My awareness shifted to the cold air and chilly wind outside.
“David, turn up the heat for Lily, please,” Jonas instructed as he took the seat next to me. His laser-like focus moved over me, though we sat in silence for a few minutes as the car turned and drove off down the street.
“Melissa called last night and pleaded to see me again,” he finally said. “I was clear that you are with me. That we are together. Once she acknowledged that she understood, I agreed to see her, as a friend. I didn’t tell you, not because I had something devious planned, but because I didn’t want to cause you any more stress.”
I pursed my lips together. “That’s still a lie. Were you ever going to tell me?” I asked curtly.
A glance in his direction let me know he was working his fingers through his hair. “I planned to tell you tonight. I had hoped to resolve things today when she came over, but she was in a state I’ve never seen her before. Melissa was saying things like she couldn’t live without me. She was threatening to harm herself. She took a sedative, and I asked Lin to help me get her to lay down. I didn’t even think about anything beyond that, except calling her father.”
I scoffed. “Melissa didn’t display any signs of distress at the hotel when she tore into me, but if that’s what you’re ready to believe—”
“No, but I want Melissa to tell you the truth, and when you are ready, have her come over and tell you. So I can make things right with you, the woman I love and hurt.” He lightly touched my hand, my heart lifting at once again hearing the word “love” from his lips. But still, I pulled back.
“I will make this right,” he said. “But I won’t force you. Just give me a chance to fix this. That’s all I ask.” His voice was just above a whisper.
Silence fell between us again as I sifted through his explanation. Finally, I turned my head toward him, my eyes on his chin. “I understand what you are saying, but I’m confused as to why you kept this from me. As the woman you love, I deserve more than to be shut out, even if it is something I would be upset about. I’m not ready for promises, but I’m here.”
“Please look at me,” Jonas said. I did as he asked and felt a knot in my chest at the sheen that I found in his.
“I’ll take that much now, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you here. I can’t let you go. I can’t lose you,” his voice broke.
I rubbed the center of my chest and closed my eyes, letting the quiet return again as we rode the rest of the way back to the apartment.
On arrival, Jonas struggled to gain his composure next to the door as I climbed out once again on my own, moving next to him under a large umbrella. The loft door was blocked as a mattress was hauled out of the building, and we paused and waited as it was moved toward a truck double parked a few yards down the road. When we were alone in the elevator, Jonas offered, “They’re removing and replacing our bed. Whenever you’re ready to return to it.”
I gave a little tilt to my head in acknowledgement but didn’t say anything. If he was telling the truth and nothing actually happened between them, this wasn’t necessary.
Jonas must have read me again. Reaching over and delicately moving the errant strands of hair the wind blew back into my face, he said, “I did it because this was supposed to be your place with me. I want you to have and hold good memories of us together here.”
We rode to the top and climbed out. Inside, we found Lin directing the movers upstairs. Once she saw us, she quickly moved our way and we stopped in the living room area. Her eyes were red-rimmed as they set on me.
“I’m so sorry you left. She was sick, I didn’t think she’d do that. I was distracted by setting up the other rooms. I didn’t mean to get you upset…” she stuttered.
I reached out and clasped her hands, but then regretted it because mine were damp and cold. “I’m not upset with you, Lin. I’m upset with all that happened.”
She nodded quickly and patted my hands.
“It’s alright, Lin,” Jonas said, placing his hand on her shoulder and guiding her a few feet away to talk. I hesitated, not sure if I should wait for the movers. Before I decided, Samuel and Ian walked into the living room, followed by a thin
woman with short, slicked-back salt-and-pepper hair. She reminded me of the executives at work, dressed in a black power pants suit and pointy-toed heels.
They all took in the state of the two of us, particularly me being soaked down to my now bare feet and dripping on the hardwood floors. Maybe that was why the woman’s mouth was gaping and Ian had a deep frown creasing his smooth forehead. Glancing at Jonas, the woman recovered. Putting on a tight smile, she spoke first. “Jonas, I’m going to have to get going, but I’ll send an update to you on the status later,” she said.
“Sounds good, Diane.” He turned to me. “This is Diane Langston.”
My eyes widened and shifted away from her once I recalled how I knew her. She was the lawyer I had avoided speaking with about Declan. Was she here about that?
“We’ve met only on the phone,” Diane confirmed, turning back to me. “And I’m sorry I’m out the door now. I know you want to get out of those wet clothes, so I won’t keep you,” she said, waving her hand as she hastened her steps to the front door.
“I’ll see her out, Mr. Crane, and will be back soon, Ms. Salomé,” Samuel said and followed after her.
I looked questioningly at Jonas, but his gaze was fixed on Ian, whose narrow stare I found on me. “Jonas, I see you’ve got everything under control and are handling things as perfectly as you said,” Ian said icily, his mouth set in a firm line.
I lifted my chin. “I’d like to know if Diane coming by has something to do with my case,” I said to Jonas, ignoring Ian.
“She was here as a consultant,” Ian answered, as they both glared at each other. “I’ll be in your office.”
“Or you can leave. In fact, I insist,” Jonas replied abruptly.
I held up my hands. “I’m tired and am going up to change.”
“And eat, you haven’t had anything since breakfast hours ago,” Lin interjected.
I blinked rapidly. “Eat, and I’m…” I swayed a bit on my feet.
Jonas immediately rushed over and swooped me up and over his shoulder.
“Put me down, please,” I protested as he walked toward the stairs.
“Bring the drinks and food up, Lin, thank you. Ian, go home. We’ll talk later,” he called out.
Jonas walked toward the master bedroom, but I tugged on his shirt. “I’d like some time alone to think over everything that happened. I’ll…sleep in the spare room, just for tonight.”
“You don’t have to sleep in there with me,” he said, his voice coarse. “But the bathroom is big, and set up. You can change and dry off. I’ll have someone stock the spare bath, but…” he walked us inside the master suite, and I looked at the large four-poster bed in the process of being built. “There is plenty of room for you in the new bed if you don’t want to sleep in my arms.” He stopped inside the bathroom, closing the door behind us.
I turned my back and shivered, my heart aching at the sadness so evident on his face. “I’d like to be alone right now, too,” I said, my teeth chattering. I could feel him before he touched me. “Lily, not taking care of you is going against my instincts, but I don’t want to pressure you,” he said.
I tilted my head down, and started nervously unbuttoning my shirt to try to keep my hands busy as he watched over me. The moment I faltered, he took over, his hands rushing through the buttons faster than my mind could keep up, pulling the fabric off. “You are justified in your anger with me, but don’t deny both of us what we want and need right now,” he said as he unhooked my bra.
My mind screamed, I shouldn’t, as I pulled of my bra and Jonas unbuttoned the front of my jeans, easing the soaked fabric down my legs. “You’re cold. You need to warm up,” he said.
“I need a drink of water,” I murmured. Walking over to the sink, I picked up a glass, filling it with cold water, which I quickly drank down and then refilled. Once I drained my second glass, I replaced the cup on the sink.
“A shower would heat you up,” he said as he reluctantly took my wrist. I let him lead me over to the shower and turn the nozzle to warm. I stood under the spray with my eyes closed, holding my arms. “I should be alone,” I said in a small voice.
“No, you shouldn’t. It’s okay. I’m here and I’m sorry,” Jonas said. He removed his clothes and stepped inside the shower. His arms circling my waist and his head resting on top of mine. My emotions swelled to bursting at the feel of his warm, firm body encompassing me, and I split apart and started crying. He held onto me, as if I was his last lifeline, his mouth kissing over me as he repeated, “Shhh…Don’t cry. You’re mine. Please don’t cry.”
He took me over to the bench and laid me back along the cool surface. He then kissed and touched over every inch of my body until I calmed. It was everything I wanted and needed without even asking. Jonas almost had me believing that he understood and that he may love me more than I ever imagined possible.
Yes. He loves and cares for me, but does he respect and trust me enough to stop keeping things from me?
As I calmed, I broke from his embrace. He hesitantly let me, as I asked one of the questions that was nagging me. “Why was Diane Langston here?” He folded his arms and didn’t answer.
With a huff, I went back under the spray. Reaching for the vanilla-scented wash, I started washing over my body. Jonas walked over and started doing the same to himself.
After a few minutes, he finally offered, “She came to look over what happened with Declan, and to offer advice to those I have looking into the situation, mostly in regards to the theft and photos, but that’s not all we are looking at.”
I pursed my mouth as I lathered my hair. “Were you going to tell me?”
“If I found it necessary,” he said.
I turned and met the jut of his chin with my squint. “You can’t keep this from me. I’d like to be involved in whatever you have planned, or you stop now.”
“I may be guilty of not fully disclosing Melissa’s visit, but I’ll be damned if I’m called to the carpet for protecting you. This is one of those situations where you won’t get your way, and that’s my final word on the subject,” he said.
I gaped at him and his brazen domineering display. “You can’t do that.” I whipped around, not caring if my long hair hit him as I rinsed it off and walked out of the shower, knowing my juvenile actions didn’t support my cause. Still, I seethed over his cool control over my life. It was also clear he would continue to keep secrets from me. And I’m the one with the habit to break!
Taking one of the bath towels, I dried off and tied another in my hair. He stepped out of the shower and I had to force myself to look away as he walked over and took a towel to dry himself with.
“I don’t know if the workers are finished,” he said. “I’ll go get you something to wear.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m sorry for my behavior in the shower, but I can’t believe you think it’s acceptable to exclude me from what affects my life. My being with you doesn’t give you permission to control and run my life.”
He narrowed his gaze. “So caring about and protecting you comes with limits? If you think for one minute that I’m going to let you go up against that fucker that abused you, then you don’t know me. Now that, you can stay mad about. But I promise you, Lily, it won’t change a damn thing.” And with that, he snatched his robe and shut the door with force.
Now we are both being juvenile, I thought as I continued to dry off.
A few minutes later, my pulse increased when I saw him come back into the room in a pair of low-hanging sweatpants, carrying my favorite blank tank top and sweats. I accepted the clothing from him, neither of us speaking. This time he closed the door softly when he left.
By the time I was finished getting dressed and drying my hair, the movers were gone and I was alone in the bedroom. The smell of food crossed my senses, and I eyed the large platter left for me on a small table. My stomach growled. I was hungry.
I sat down and ate the three-bean soup, salad, and bread in front of me. I was half
finished with the smoothie when Dani walked through the door. My expression must not have been a good one, for she said, “I’m not going to stay. I just stopped by to make sure you were okay and to bring more food for you to eat. And also, to pick up Lin so we can go to yoga tonight.”
I shrugged. “I’m taking this down, then going to sleep,” I announced.
“I’ll take it down for you,” she said, waving for me to stay seated. “I heard what happened, and I don’t blame you for being mad,” she said. “Paul was quite animated when he described how Melissa behaved the other day, and it sounded like she was certainly being awful. I told Jonas as much.” When I didn’t say anything, she continued, “She is manipulative, but is she worth stilling your happiness?”
“What kind of happiness is built on lies and deception?” I asked and covered my mouth as the irony washed over me. I realized I was just as guilty of doing that and then some. I drooped my shoulders. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out so harsh. Today, with Melissa, just really surprised me.”
“That was one part of your whole day. One part of your experience together. Jonas isn’t perfect, and he was blindsided by her. He will work to fix this. But all he wants is for you to be happy. His way of getting there wasn’t right this one time, and he knows that now. But please don’t shut him out,” she said.
I nodded. “I don’t want to. It’s hard for the both of us. I’ll try, and I hope Jonas will do the same.”
She smiled and exhaled long. “I have been where you are for years. There will always be women after him, but you must remember how he feels about you.”
She gave me a hug, and picked up the tray, ignoring my attempt to do it myself. I followed her out of the bedroom, stopping at the spare room one door over.
“Thank you, Dani. You’re a good friend. To both of us.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking back towards the stairs, and I entered the bedroom and closed the door behind me. Climbing on the queen-size bed, I slipped under the duvet cover and eventually fell asleep.
Tiger Lily: Part Three Page 8