I'm Your Santa

by Castell, Dianne

  Sebastian glanced at his jeans. “And isn’t this good enough? We’re just having dinner, right? Unless you’ve got something brewing that you’re not telling me about.”

  Rebecca-the-wedding-planner in a black sparkly dress and fancy hairdo glided up to Cordell. She hooked her arm through his and smiled sweetly, especially at Cordell. Waving her hand regally over the dining room with white linens, red and white roses at the tables, the harpist doing her harp thing, gleaming crystal and china, she said, “You need to look nice for your family tonight, dear, like your uncle does in his tux.” Rebecca patted Cordell’s chest then straightened his noncrooked tie. “So very handsome, don’t you agree?”

  Handsome? Sebastian felt his gut tighten. That’s what LuLu called him. His mother walked in and kissed his cheek. “Oh, this is so lovely, nearly perfect in every way.”

  Sebastian folded his arms. “Nearly?”

  “Well, dear, I do want to see you married and happy. Have the love of your life with you like your father and I had each other.”

  Sebastian sighed, “Okay, that’s it. If you’ve stashed Bevvy somewhere around here and she’s telling you she wants to come back to me, I can tell you right now it’s not happening. It’s over between us for her sake as well as mine and nothing you can say or she can say can—”

  “Damnation, boy.” Cordell growled in his best military voice, rattling the window panes and making the cat’s fur stand on end before he took a dive for cover. “Go change your clothes. The rest of the family will be coming down any minute now and it is your party. Hell, we’re not asking for a kidney, and I can assure you that Bevvy is no place around here, and this nonwedding is a damn good idea to get your mind off your problems and on to something else.”

  Sebastian looked from Cordell to Rebecca to his mother. “What have you all done?”

  Cordell gave the official colonel stare. “What I did was put on a damn monkey suit for you. It’s Christmas time, show some respect for the season and your mother.”

  Cordell was playing the mother card. This was more serious than Sebastian thought. And he was getting nothing but a bunch of double-talk that went nowhere. But since he’d never win an argument with a retired army colonel or his mother, Sebastian climbed the polished mahogany stairs draped in pine and holly garland in the main hall, to his antique-filled room overlooking the Mississippi River.

  Not the kind of accommodations he was used to, though, someone like LuLu would fit in just fine. Frilly lace curtains, lacy towels, girly…and LuLu Cahill was definitely all girl, make that voluptuous soft woman who wanted nothing to do with him, and under the circumstances that suited him fine. With luck she’d be busy with Christmas and not even know he was at Hastings House. After the nonwedding dinner tomorrow night on Christmas Eve he’d leave. Even for his family, there was just so much nonwedding he could take.

  He dressed, taking care that everything looked correct even though he never felt comfortable in dress attire. Camouflage suited him fine and in one week he’d be back where he belonged, taking cover behind a rock or tree, doing what he was trained to do in some hellhole that needed attention. He wasn’t called a snake eater for nothing.

  “Can I help you?” Sebastian asked as he trotted down the staircase. A man stood in the entrance hall, his back to Sebastian. A short guy wearing a long brown robe with a hood, donkey probably parked outside. Then the man spun around. “LuLu?”

  “Handsome?” Her blue eyes covered half her face. “What the…All right, why are you still here? I think I asked that question before.” She parked her hands on her hips. “What happened to noon, two hours and fourteen minutes and you getting out of town and us not seeing each other again? That was the plan, right?”

  “Why are you dressed like that?”

  “And why are you dressed like that?

  Two

  LuLu tried to wrap her head around what was going on but didn’t get a very good grip. “I’m Joseph and also your friendly neighborhood serving wench better known as juggling two jobs—make that three—because I’m financially challenged.” Sounded better than butt-ugly broke. “Rebecca-the-wedding-planner hired me to help with a rehearsal dinner, and I sure didn’t suspect it was yours because you’re not supposed to be here and you’re not getting married and what’s with the uniform?”

  She swallowed a primal female whine. Handsome had been handsome enough last night in pea coat, jeans and moonlight, but now. Holy moly!

  “It’s my nonrehearsal dinner and not my idea. I got talked into going through with it because it’s paid for and my family’s here and for another reason that I wasn’t told but getting more obvious by the minute.” He shrugged “And as for the uniform…Bevvy wanted me to wear it for our wedding. It’s the only dress clothes I brought with me and certain people tonight were insistent that I change.”

  “The boy’s Special Forces,” beamed an older man as he rounded the corner. He was the same guy who accompanied Handsome to Slim’s, and he held out his hand to LuLu and pumped hers hardily. “I’m Cordell, Sebastian’s uncle, just retired here to O’Fallon’s Landing after thirty years military and I’m crazy about the place. I’m the one who suggested he get hitched here, except it didn’t work out between him and Bevvy.” Then he grinned like it was working out just fine now.

  He pointed at LuLu. “Nice duds. Caught your act in town this afternoon, was that the first time you ever milked a goat? You should take that act on the road.”

  “I’ve sworn off feta forever.” So his name was Sebastian? She liked Handsome better.

  Rebecca-the-wedding-planner swept in carrying a tray of champagne glasses. “Well, my stars, you made it after all. I was getting a mite worried.” She grinned, and was that a wink she sent to Cordell? What was with the wink? Guess she caught the goat show, too. “You and Sebastian need to get better acquainted.”

  “We do?” Except that boat had already sunk, LuLu thought as she claimed the tray. “You hired me to help serve. I should do that, and you all can chat and socialize.”

  Rebecca grabbed back the tray as another woman in a black silk suit said, “Joseph can’t be serving champagne, dear, doesn’t seem right somehow. It’s lovely to meet you, I’m Sebastian’s mother, Isabella.” Then she and Rebecca and Cordell left the hall as if exiting from a fire.

  “I don’t get it,” she said to Handsome. “This whole nonrehearsal thing is a little strange. What’s going on?”

  He let out a long breath and sat on the steps. Resting his forearms on his knees, a little smile formed at the corners of his mouth. The brass buttons of his uniform and his polished shoes glistened under the chandelier light. He was tan, she realized, as if back from a Caribbean vacation. Oh yeah, that’s where the army sent all their soldiers these days. “If you planned on us being together like this, I’m going to be totally ticked off.”

  “Not exactly. Mother and Uncle Cordell have the finesse of a tank. This is a setup job with the help of Rebecca. They’re trying to get my mind off my defunct wedding and you’re it.”

  She looked at her robe. “Boy, are they desperate.”

  “Uncle Cordell and Rebecca saw us together at Slim’s. Probably picked up on the vibes.”

  “We have vibes?”

  “Sweetheart,”—his smile broadened and everything in the hall got a little fuzzy—“I’d put us at about eight point five on the Richter.”

  She considered sitting down beside Handsome because she was tired from adventures with goats, but she was still reeling from seeing him when she just got used to the idea of not ever seeing him again. “None of this would have happened if you’d left when you said you would. What went wrong?”

  “A lot of double-talk coupled with the fact that my family drove in for the wedding and it made sense to go through with everything as planned. Least that’s the line my dear uncle and his accomplice fed me at Slim’s when I wanted to call everything off.”

  He ran his hand over his fuzz hair. “But now you’re here and I
’m here and we’re alone, and it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out what’s really going on is family matchmaking and not so much a family reunion.”

  LuLu leaned against the newel post. “You’re a soldier and going away, and I don’t mean like off to Cleveland for a shoe convention. You do serious leaving and I’ve had my quota of men exiting my life. In fact I think I hold some kind of record for that particular kind of guy. I should be the one who leaves right now before this goes any further.”

  “No, wait.” Handsome jumped up and blocked her path to the door. She didn’t know a guy could move so fast. “Look, you need the money and I want to spend time with my family. If you leave everyone here will be upset that their great plan didn’t work and you’ll have to pull double shifts at the stable.” He pushed her Joseph hood back, his fingers touching her cheek, making her insides somersault and her heart do the happy dance. “We’ll get this nonwedding over with, it’s just for tonight and tomorrow. You get paid, I visit and keep my family happy. Then we go our separate ways. And if you’re beside me some of the time, they all won’t be thinking poor Sebastian. They’ll just be looking at you thinking I’m one lucky guy.”

  From the corner of her eyes she caught sight of Rebecca poking her head around the corner followed by uncle and mother. Like kids peeking at Santa on Christmas morning! They flashed gotcha smiles then retreated. “There is one little flaw, your family’s trying to push us together and two days of pushing may be more willpower then I have. Look what happened last night and no one was pushing. You’re not the kind of guy I want in my life.”

  “And I’m not looking for a relationship to leave behind, either. What if we set up diversionary tactics so the meddlesome trio doesn’t have time to push so hard.”

  “Tactics like in blowing up a bridge?”

  “Like in turning the tables. Uncle Cordell’s been a bachelor all his life and he’s taken to Rebecca. We can push them together, then they’ll forget about us or at least not concentrate on us so hard.”

  “What about Isabella? Mothers want to see their kids happy and that translates into they want them married.”

  A deep male voice with a touch of Tennessee twang sounded from the dining room, “Dinner is served.”

  Handsome folded his arms and rocked back on his heels. “Not only do we have Rebecca-the-wedding-planner, we have Terrance-the-chef. Mother brought him in from Memphis. All I’ve heard from mother is Terrance’s great soufflé, Terrance’s great beef burgundy, and that he could flip her pancakes anytime. I think it’s time she had someone special in her life again. She just needs a nudge.”

  “So, we get the four resident lovebirds together and they’ll leave us alone. That might work, worth a try, and right now I better get to work.” LuLu pulled the robe off over her head and hung it by the door. “Okay, soldier boy, I’m ready to get this show on the road.”

  Except Handsome didn’t move. He just stood there under the chandelier looking a little thoughtful and a lot yummy. “Damn, you’re beautiful. Didn’t get a chance to appreciate that fact last night.”

  She straightened her white overblouse and smoothed out her black pants. “I’m a little thick right now. No compliments needed.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m looking at great curves and a very fine woman.”

  She took a deep breath. “What you’re looking at is a pregnant woman.”

  Handsome’s eyes rounded.

  “That was pretty much my reaction, too. Jerome’s reaction was catching the first plane out of LAX with his new cupcake at his side.”

  “Jerome better say his prayers he doesn’t ever cross my path.”

  “It’s a good thing that he’s gone. He’s not the daddy type, more the which-club-tonight type. No one knows about this besides you. I’ve been doing the baggy blouse, sweater, jacket over the slacks thing and it’s been working okay. Course it’s not going to work forever, but I want to get my bills paid off and look responsible when I break the news to my sister. She’s worried about me for forever and this once I’d like to take charge. I have skills and I’m a hard worker and not the first single mom to make a go of it.”

  “And a soldier thousands of miles away is not what you need in your life.”

  “And you don’t need a pregnant woman. We agree, and we’ll get along for two days and then go our separate ways no strings attached. But no smoochy-smoochy stuff. My hormones are already a mess, which was proven by the fact that I ravaged you in the gazebo last night.”

  He laughed a really great happy sound that made her happy too. “Not exactly the way I remember it, but I’ll honor the kissing ban.”

  “Now, I have to help Terrance serve. Save me a place and drink my champagne so I don’t have to explain.” Before he could stop her, LuLu rushed off for the kitchen. If she stayed another minute she’d say something else stupid. Smoochy smoochy! Dear heaven, where’d that spring from? When it came to Handsome she was out of her flipping mind, but she only had to flip for another day and a half, then he’d be history and she’d have money.

  She passed out salad then beef Wellington to Handsome’s six aunts, eight uncles, five cousins, three grandparents, one godmother and godfather, his mother and Rebecca, all of them making her feel welcome. She sat next to him and whispered, “You have a great family.”

  “I have a great date.” Then his leg accidentally rubbed against hers and she nearly grabbed him and slid under the table.

  Uncle Cordell stood and tapped his glass with his fork. “I’d like to make a toast to all of you for being here and to Sebastian for this great party he decided to have in spite of everything.”

  Handsome smiled, looking as comfortable as a cat sitting on hot coals. Isabella added, “And to LuLu for filling in as his special guest.”

  LuLu gave the aw-gee-whiz smile, but deep down inside she liked the special guest comment. Being something special to Handsome mattered more than she wanted it to. She enjoyed his company, his laughter, his bedroom finesse, even when he wasn’t in a bedroom, and she liked that he thought Jerome was a pig. Why couldn’t Handsome be a farmer? Farmers stayed in one place and didn’t get used for target practice.

  After she served dessert she reclaimed her place beside Handsome and whispered between bites of ribbon cake, “They’re ganging up against us. Your mom just showed me one of your baby pictures she keeps in her purse—you look adorable on a bearskin rug—and Cordell asked when he could meet my folks. We need to launch operation counter-matchmaker right now. I’ll take Isabella and Terrance. You handle Rebecca and your uncle.”

  “Could get complicated.”

  “It already is.”

  Rebecca stood and announced, “Brandy and cookies are in the parlor and we’ll sing Christmas carols. Deck the halls with boughs of holly,” she started as everyone paraded out of the dining room. LuLu said to Handsome, “Think about something romantic to bring the couples together. You know…wine, flowers, music.”

  “What about locking Cordell and Rebecca in the wine cellar?”

  “That’s it? That’s all the romance you have in you? Didn’t you ever watch ‘Pretty Woman’ or ‘Moon-struck?’”

  “You and I didn’t need more than a place last night and look what happened. It’s the company not the geography. They need alone time.”

  Actually that idea was pretty romantic all by itself. His eyes darkened and she’d give anything for alone time with Handsome again, like last night, but it was over.

  He tweaked the end of her nose and headed for the parlor. She cleared dishes then found a pen in the cherry sideboard and scribbled on a paper napkin: Meet me at the gazebo in town at midnight.

  She studied her work. Talk about not romantic. She took a little angel ornament from the mantel decorations, added Isabella, my angel to the outside of the note and signed it Your sweet savage chef. Better!

  Another round of fa-la-la-la-la-la sounded from the parlor as LuLu pulled up next to Isabella standing in the back of the little crowd. LuLu whis
pered, “Found this on the table as I was clearing. Looks important.” She slipped the angel onto the sheet music.

  Isabella looked from the angel to LuLu who gave a little I-have-no-idea shrug then took off as God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen started. Finding an untapped bottle of champagne LuLu attached the same note but addressed it to My sweet savage chef and signed it Your Christmas angel. Waiting till Terrance left the kitchen, she set the bottle on the counter then ducked around the corner watching till he found the note. He grinned, blushed, then slid the note in his pocket.

  “What are you doing?” Handsome said, his breath on her neck making every inch of her body prickle. She took his hand and led him into the garden room at the back, with wintering plants on white-fern stands and moonlight streaming through big windows. She couldn’t think of a better place to be than alone in the dark with Handsome, except that’s not why they were together here. This was business. “Terrance and your mom are a go. I’m a natural-born matchmaker. How are things on your end?”

  “You’re lovely in moonlight.”

  “That’s because you can’t see my girth.”

  “It’s because you’re lovely in moonlight.” He kissed her hair making her feel wonderful and…beautiful, just like he said. His arms wound around her, his kisses dropping from her hair to her ear then trailing down her neck. He lifted her right off the floor, her toes dangling, his strong body tight against hers. She slid her arms around him—so as not to fall. That was the reason. “No smoochy smoochy, remember?”

  His eyes looked into hers. “I needed to kiss you, needed it all night.” His lips were so close to hers she could feel his mouth form the words on her mouth. “Just once more.” He kissed her again, a low testosterone-filled growl rumbling in his chest. “Okay, twice more,” he said, his mouth still on hers. “But now I’m done.”

  “Promise?”

  “No.”

  Thank God! Her heart raced, her mouth dry as the cactus sitting in the corner; his erection pressing against her leg driving her insane. He let her body slide down his, feeling his strength under his jacket. Fire licked at her insides and she wanted Handsome to do some licking of his own, on her, naked on one of those bearskin rugs or any place else that happened along.