Bridges

by Janice McLeod

  First in line at the stoplight at 22nd avenue and 34th street, she smiled again and reached for the hot pink sun visor that sat in the seat next to her, pushing it over her temples, she adjusting the brim. Noticing the light had turned green she quickly shifted the car from first to second gear and entered the intersection. That was the last thing she remembered. What was left of her small car had spun around three consecutive revolutions and then jumped the curb wrapping itself around a light pole. The stunning impact of an oncoming vehicle at an accelerated speed, had not only made Robin and her car unrecognizable, but had done considerable damage to the other car as well, a white, mid—size SUV and the man driving it. Now with metal and glass strewn over the entire intersection; some, who had been nearby in traffic jumped from their cars, two with their cell phones in hand making calls and taking pictures. The same bright, blue sky that had existed just moments before, when all was right with the world, now presided over the carnage below. In just a second, fate had stepped in and changed two lives forever.

  Robin could barely be seen in the tangle of crushed metal that encircled her body, holding her in a vice grip. The entire frame of her car was nearly bent in half. Soon the scream of emergency sirens could be heard as onlookers gasped in horror, one or two rushing forward to check for signs of life. Smoke rose from both vehicles, the threat of fire loomed because of spilt fuel; fumes now permeated the air. First to responder was the Fire Department whose personnel jumped from their trucks and dashed to each car. Meanwhile, the Police had arrived and began crowd control as they directed the ambulance through the mass of people now congregated on each corner of the intersection. The first help to reach Robin’s car was Jimmy Jackson, a fireman who immediately dealt with a man whom had been in traffic right behind Robin’s car and had seen the entire incident play out before his eyes. He paced up and down beside the wreckage wringing his hands as he tried to describe to Jimmy just how the wreck happened, it was all so fast! Jimmy gently handed the man off to a nearby police officer and began the painstaking task of looking for Robin’s body and any sign that she had survived impact. A corner of her hot pink visor was spotted first, and then an audible groan caught Jimmy’s attention. Here was a place to start. As the scene was secured, the police began their investigation, taking statements and looking at cell phone pictures of the sight. The EMT worked in tandem with fire rescue agents in caring for the drivers of both cars while the extraction process moved forward under the direction of the fire department.

  Hanging at the end of a delicate thread of fate, a young life now dangled precariously in the balance, on the very threshold of immortality; a shadow land ill defined, constrained by the mere whisper of a breath, barely perceptible. Robin’s body, after what seemed like forever, had finally been pulled from the crumpled mass that was her pride and joy, and tenderly placed on a gurney, then rushed to a nearby St. Petersburg Hospital. Her vital signs were elusive like the flight of a butterfly, fluttering, hovering, able to fly away and be gone at any moment. As her cut, bruised and broken body was rushed to the ER, her frail figure was already shrouded in several splints, IV tubes and an oxygen mask. The carefree dream of warm sand between her toes and the rush of waves as they lapped the shore now seemed a far off illusion that lacked context or meaning. Where she was, and what had happened a mystery, she floated in and out of consciousness, caught in a limbo devoid of time and space, a dimension known only to those who stand before the veil of eternity.

  Gary Owens had a very bad headache, not unlike many he had lately. He knew the excessive drinking he had been doing alone each night was not the answer to the problems he faced, but sadly now it had become a new habit, his evening companion now that Sheryl, his wife of six years had walked out on him and their marriage she claimed had become dull and stifling. Gary was the last one to realize how unhappy Sheryl really was. He thought they were doing just fine. Over the past two years he turned his mechanical aptitude into a solid business of his own. He learned about the heat and air trade from his uncle Ted who hired him as a helper when he was just finishing High School. Now a few short years later, he and his partner Jack Dawson had developed a solid base of residential clients and were beginning to work a few lucrative commercial contracts. He even felt confident enough to put a down payment on a modest home on a comfortable, tree lined street where other young couples were settling in to raise their families. Gary didn’t realize that dedication, hard work and setting goals for the future made him dull and stifling; he thought he was stepping up, doing what a man should do, but it wasn’t enough.

  Once again he took his broken heart and throbbing head in search of coffee and Excedrin; then perhaps a shower and a shave would help him feel human again. Later in the morning, dressed, and with his oversized travel mug in hand, he decided to take advantage of a little free time over the weekend to check a job sight they were going to begin working on Monday. The Carlyle Company out of Denver was building a new facility in Tampa as part of their national expansion campaign and Gary had landed the job, one that could take his own business to a new level.

  Gary grabbed a notebook and pen from the kitchen counter, clipped his tape measure on his belt and picked up his keys. Settling in behind the wheel of his white SUV, he placed his mug in the cup holder, adjusted the windshield visor, and reached for his sunglasses to combat the morning light that assaulted his eyes and aching head. He left his cell phone in the car overnight and now checked to see if it needed charging. His neighborhood street was fairly quiet this morning. There were two kids on bikes moving down the sidewalk with an Airedale puppy in hot pursuit and a man retrieving his newspaper from his mailbox. Life has a way of moving on with or without you Gary thought, as he rounded the corner and turned on to 22nd Avenue.

  Just as Gary completed his turn his cell phone rang, he reached to pick it up. It was Sheryl in a curt and agitated voice. She began ranting that he had agreed to put money into her checking account until a legal settlement could be worked out, and had not done that, and why hadn’t he picked up the used dresser from her girlfriend’s garage that she needed for her new apartment. With his head pounding and the angry exchange with Sheryl becoming a shouting match, Gary decided to try and beat the light up ahead that had already turned yellow. Snarling into the phone he pressed down on the gas and charged through the intersection.

  What he now felt was far removed from the mere headache and stress he experienced moments ago. His SUV stood silent and skewed in the middle of the intersection, the offending cell phone now thrown to the floor squawked on in spurts. Are you there Gary? A pause and then, “For Pete sakes speak up I can’t hear you”. Numb and startled, Gary noticed someone at his window looking in at him, asking if he was alright, but he could not concentrate on the words enough to formulate an adequate answer. Smoke rose from the front grill of his car as he choked and tried to move, but was unable. He had no recollection of the silver sports car darting out from under the light at 34th street. He had been otherwise engaged and even the reality of this moment eluded him as he slumped in his seat and passed out.

  Hours later, emerging from the darkened shelter of his mind into the half light of his hospital room, Gary Owens opened his eyes again for the first time since the accident. He had been placed in room 357 of the trauma ward on Saturday shortly after noon; it was now 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning. Gary made an attempt to focus and survey his surroundings, but he felt lost in a fog induced by his injuries and the drugs he had been given. As he made a feeble gesture to move he was assaulted with searing pain that shot through his body. He discovered he was tethered to his bed with an IV tube and a splinted arm and leg on his left side, all wrapped up like a mummy. Laying back on his pillow he disciplined his mind to think, to remember what had happened to him. He now slowly came to the realization he had been in his car, and yes, there had been the call from Sheryl. There must have been an accident he thought. Was there another car involved? Oh no, he just couldn’t remember a
nother car but there must have been one. As twilight played at his window, nurse Meg Stewart entered his room and smiled to see Gary’s eyes open as she wheeled her cart of monitoring equipment alongside his bed. “Welcome back to the world,” she said in a warm, cheery voice as she inquired about his pain level, and replaced his empty IV bag with a new one. Gary looked at Meg with pleading eyes hoping she could fill in the blanks of his spotty recollection. She informed him he had been received in the ER yesterday shortly after noon, having been in an accident across town. There had indeed been another vehicle involved and that driver had been brought in as well. She had no other details relative to the other driver’s identity or condition, and said that Dr. Morrison, who had taken care of Gary, would be doing rounds soon and would have more information concerning the accident, his injuries and what to expect in the weeks ahead. With one more sympathetic smile and a wish for his speedy recovery she was out of the room and down the hall to see her next patient.

  Staring at the ceiling as if it could reveal the secrets of his recent past, Gary agonized over his own demise and could only wonder what had become of the other person involved in the accident. God help him, what was he going to do now. Still unclear as to the extent of his own injuries, he now worried about the new project he had to begin in the morning. He would need to get word to his partner Jack that he’d probably be out of commission for a while and that Jack would need to be on sight with the crew in the morning. Then there were the regular calls that would need to be dealt with. This unforeseen complication into his already stress filled life was an overwhelming intrusion he didn’t need. As tears now glistened in his eyes, he remembered he couldn’t even lean on Sheryl for any emotional or physical support, for the bridges between them were now burnt and lay in the smoldering ashes of their last conversation. Suddenly he felt adrift in a sea of depression and uncertainty with no anchor in sight, so he closed his eyes again, against a world he hadn’t the strength or energy to cope with and sailed off into a fitful sleep.

  Robin Walker underwent eleven hours of intense surgery to repair the extensive damage done to her vital organs and spinal cord, while doctors fought to control her massive bleeding. On three separate occasions they thought they had lost her, but she hung on making it through the delicate procedures to sustain her life, but what of that life, so altered from the one she had been living just hours before. Robin had been placed in a special unit of the ICU where a full time RN attended her, checking and adjusting the life support systems that now sustained her. Robin’s spirit clung tenuously to her motionless body, caught deep in the phantom realm of coma, drifting, floating between two worlds unrecognizable, suspended and held captive beyond the reaches of her own reality.

  Robin’s mother and father anxiously consulted with the two surgeons that operated on their only child. Having been filled in by the police as to the accident it’s self, they now dealt with the anguish of uncertainty concerning their daughter’s life that seemed tenuous at best. Doctor’s Richardson and Elders tried to compassionately explain all they had done in layman’s terms, highlighting their main concern of probable paralysis, should Robin emerge from her comatose state and regain a reliable stage of stability. The very thought of their young, intelligent, vivacious daughter surviving this hideous accident only to be a paraplegic the rest of her life made Mrs. Walker shudder and crumple to her knees as she was led to a nearby chair.

  Long silent days, except for the bleeps and flashing lights of monitors, passed into even longer nights of bedside vigils kept by family and loved ones, who by the sheer will of their presence, refused to let Robin slip away, unnoticed. The attempted to restraining her flight with tears and their pleading, holding her limp hand in their own, sharing a life force transmittable only by love and longing. The days slipped into weeks and the torturous silence remained, taunting those held in their unabated grief.

  Gary Owens was soon to be released from the rehabilitation center where he had spent the last several weeks convalescing and doing therapy on the arm and leg that had been so severely fractured. A steel rod attached to a plate with screws now held his left arm to his shoulder, just part of the permanent hardware holding him together that remained tender and sore and would be for the weeks ahead. The wheelchair he sat in had become part of his physicality and the only means by which he got around, his leg elevated most of the time. Life as he knew it had come to a screeching halt; his own personal pain a precursor for what he had come to fill, as he learned from the police, the full ramifications of his impetuous run through the yellow light at the corner of 22nd avenue and 34th street. The awful truth of an innocent victim now lying in a coma crushed his soul and filled him with an unbearable gilt and remorse. Devastated and bewildered, he repeatedly damned himself for what had happened to Robin Walker. He felt an ever increasing need to visit her and see firsthand the reality of his misdeed. He had to put a face with the emotional pain he felt, then perhaps he could begin to cope with the entire situation; to see if there was any way to help undo the damage he’d done, an attempt to make things right, he had to try.

  Jack Dawson pushed Gary in his wheelchair down the sterile, quiet corridors of the hospital while arguing the merits of his decision to visit Robin. Jack had stepped in after the accident and taken over full management of their operations; and had proved himself to be as loyal a friend, as partner. Over time, the two men had bonded with a brotherly kind of camaraderie and now Jack’s only desire was to see his friend be well and happy again and of course back at work. He remained skeptical that seeing Robin Walker in her diminished state would promote a healthier perspective for Gary rather than drive him into deeper despair. Upon reaching Robin’s room, Gary took a deep breath and asked Jack to wait for him as he pushed himself inside her room, positioning his chair beside her bed. Fortunately, those usually posted at her side this time of the day had taken a break leaving Robin alone for a few moments.

  Gary sat beside Robin almost transfixed, hardly able to blink as he stared at her fragile body, pail gentle face and shallow breath. She was a young woman, petite, with a crown of short, cropped, golden hair in a pixie cut that softened the features of her angular face. The thought that she would remain suspended, fixed in time, never again to talk or laugh and pursue her ambitions was hard to imagine. She had her whole life ahead of her, yet there she was; and “I have put her here” Gary mumbled to himself. He leaned over to rest his hands and chin on her bed rail, his sad eyes smarting from the tears forming now, as he continued to stare at her wondering what she would have been doing today if the accident hadn’t happened. The remorse he felt at seeing her was almost suffocating, as he strained to maintain some degree of composure. Momentarily, he bowed his head in despair, pleading to God for help. His mind wandered through a maze of thoughts and emotions, when he heard a sigh that startled him, bringing him back into the moment. Gary looked at Robin with a flood of anxiety, and then it happened. With another slight moan Robin moved her head to the right and then opened her eyes. For a few short seconds their eyes locked and the poignancy of that moment was virtually palpable. Robin Walker reentered the temporal world of her existence to find a stranger with a tear streaked face staring at her from her bedside. The man, who ironically had destroyed her tender young life, was the first person to greet her as she reemerged from her cocoon of darkness back into the light of life.

  Gary instantly, without thinking, reached out for Robin’s hand, as a gentle smile lifted his face. At that same moment Robin’s parents entered her room. Puzzled by Gary’s presence they quickly moved to their daughter’s bedside. The next thing to be heard was the resounding sobs of joy and relief as a rushed call was made to the nurses’ station. Both parents began speaking at once to their only daughter whom they thought might be lost to them forever. In the excitement of the moment Gary quietly withdrew from the room, gliding down the hall and out of sight, his presence now an afterthought, weighed against the miracle that had just happened. A
ll attention was now focused on Robin and what could be done to sustain her awareness and nudge her forward toward some kind of recovery.

  Gary grasped for words to adequately describe to his friend Jack, the electrifying moment when Robin first opened her eyes, while they drove from the hospital parking lot now lit by lamps with the onset of dusk. Gary’s excitement was generated by a heart filled with gratitude, that Robin might actually have a fighting chance for some sort of recovery and that all was not lost. Over the weeks since he had become aware of her condition, he had prayed for her continually, bargaining with God for her life. He promised to put his own house in order. He promised to do all he could to make things better for Robin, whatever it took and he especially vowed to never take life for granted again, such a precious commodity that could be lost in a moment, squandered and gone. The fact that he had been with Robin at the very moment of her awakening was to him a sign of redemption and grace that would mark his life from that day forward.

  * * *

  Robin Walkers life had begun anew, like a flower that at first finds itself nothing more than a small bud of promise, then little by little grows, its fragile petals begin to unfurl ultimately exposing the fullness of its glory. Its core thrusting forward and exposed, it receives all that heaven intended it to be. Within the human soul such refinements take many varied forms. Fears and vulnerabilities laid bare are often the very tools used to hone the character and discipline our thinking, forcing us to push beyond our circumstances and grapple with the world of possibility because there is no turning back. And so it was that Robin faced each new day with that mixture of fear and hope, uncertainty and promise. They were the new realities that kept her company in the silent recesses of her own heart. Through the constant love and support of those around her, the revelation of her accident and attending injuries were brought to light and yet no one spoke the word paralysis, a crushing blow no one was willing to levy against her burgeoning recovery. That revelation could wait until she was stronger.