Astrosaurs 4

by Steve Cole

  “No,” Arx admitted. “Never.”

  He wanted to believe in his captain, more than anything.

  Gipsy waited nervously. Would Arx do what he was told?

  At last, he told the dimorphodon: “Very well. Fire everything as the captain says.”

  The flying reptiles flapped off to obey. They fired lasers, cannons and dung torpedoes. The death ship shook and lurched to one side as the weapons found their mark.

  But then it straightened up, and started speeding towards them.

  “Was that the best we could do?” complained Dasta. “Rubbish!”

  “Plant-eating ssscum!” the raptors hissed. “Prepare to die!”

  “Well, if we can’t shoot them down, we’d better run!” said Dasta grumpily. “But stay on course for Geldos!”

  “Full speed ahead!” shouted Arx.

  The Sauropod sped away. But the death ship was right behind them. It opened fire, and the Sauropod rocked with the blast.

  “They’ve blown off our lasers!” said Arx.

  “They’re gaining on us!” cried Gipsy.

  “Go faster!” snapped Dasta.

  “We can’t!” Arx said. “Not unless Iggy boosts the engines!”

  “I’ll call him,” said Gipsy. She flicked a switch. “Iggy? Iggy, we need you to boost the engines!”

  “Hang on, stripy girl.” It sounded like Iggy, but of course it was really Ardul. “I is just trying to find the engine room.”

  “Iggy, what’s wrong with you?” she wailed.

  “I is fine,” he said. “But what does an engine look like again?”

  Arx frowned. “He’s gone crazy!”

  “Just a touch of brain flu,” said Dasta. “He’s been looking a bit peaky lately, don’t you think?”

  “Well, Captain,” said Gipsy coldly. “I certainly noticed he wasn’t himself.”

  The Sauropod shook as another blast hit home.

  “Our cannons have been hit!” cried Gipsy.

  “There’s just one chance!” Arx shouted. “Perhaps if we dump all our dung torpedoes . . .”

  “Dump them?” Dasta roared. “That will leave us at their mercy!”

  “Not if we dump them right in their path!” grinned Gipsy.

  “Exactly,” said Arx. “Let’s do it.”

  Gipsy whistled at the dimorphodon. They flapped off eagerly and set to work.

  “Ready for dumping . . . now!” cried Gipsy.

  Arx hit a button, and fifty dung torpedoes dropped out of the Sauropod’s bottom.

  The raptor death ship was going too fast to stop. It flew right into the astrosaurs’ trap! The torpedoes all went off together in one big bang . . .

  And when it was over, the death ship had become a dung ship! It no longer looked like a big, scary tooth – just a massive, smelly dung ball!

  The dimorphodon clapped and cheered, and Gipsy slapped Arx on the back proudly.

  “That should slow the raptors down,” she said. “Good thinking, Arx.”

  “Yes, well,” said Dasta sniffily. “A very clever plan, I’m sure.”

  “You should know, Captain,” said Arx. “You invented that plan.”

  Dasta gulped. “I did?”

  “Yes, in your final space exam,” said Arx, advancing slowly. “Admiral Rosso was so impressed by your quick thinking, he made you the captain of the Sauropod straight away.”

  “Or rather, he made Teggs the captain of the Sauropod,” said Gipsy. “But you’re not Teggs, are you? Just like Iggy isn’t Iggy. You’re both imposters!”

  “Nonsense, girl!” snarled Dasta. “Of course I’m Teggs! You must be spacesick!”

  “The real Teggs would never have risked our lives like that,” Gipsy argued. “And the real Iggy knows what an engine looks like!”

  “You’ve been acting funny ever since we rescued you,” said Arx. “At first I thought that the gas on the space prison had made you ill. But now I think you must actually be Crool Dasta and his sidekick. You have put your minds in the bodies of our friends!”

  “You’re crazy!” cried Dasta.

  “It explains a lot,” said Gipsy. “I heard them talking in Iggy’s room, Arx. They were talking about eating the dimorphodon!”

  At this, the dimorphodon shrieked and cheeped and fluttered.

  “Why would we want to eat them?” Dasta protested. “There’s not enough meat on them!”

  Arx and Gipsy gasped in horror. Dasta realized he had said too much.

  “So, that’s why Iggy stuck those two coelophysis down the rubbish chute,” said Gipsy. “To stop them convincing us of who you really were! Those nasty little dinosaurs used to be you, before you swapped minds. Now they’re Teggs and Iggy!”

  “Well done, you sap-swallowing fools!” The fake Teggs jumped out of the control pit. “You worked it out at last. I am the one and only Crool Dasta!”

  “Then I’m turning round, right now,” said Arx.

  “No!” Dasta cried.

  “Yes,” Arx insisted. “The starving dinosaurs of Diplos need the food we’re carrying. We’ll rescue the real Teggs and Iggy on the way.”

  “And then you are going to put their minds back in their own bodies,” Gipsy warned Dasta. “Or else!”

  Just then, the lift doors opened and Ardul came out. “Is this the engine room?” he asked.

  “Never mind that, Ardul!” snapped Dasta. “Grab the girl!”

  Gipsy gasped as the fake Iggy yanked her arm.

  “Let her go!” said Arx. He lowered his head, ready to charge.

  “Stay back,” hissed Dasta. “Or we’ll do something very nasty to your friend. Come on, Ardul, let’s get out of here.”

  “Yes, sir, Mr Boss-Captain,” said Ardul. He bundled Gipsy into the lift.

  “Go ahead and turn this ship round, Arx,” Dasta cried. “We’ll take a shuttle to Geldos from here. And if you try to stop us, you’ll never see Gipsy again!” He squeezed into the lift behind them and cackled with glee. “I’ve won! Nothing in the universe can stop me now!”

  Chapter Seven

  THE TREASURE OF GELDOS

  GIPSY TRIED TO escape, but Ardul’s grip was too strong. Dasta led them to the nearest shuttle and she was thrown inside.

  “Why are you doing all this?” she demanded, rubbing her bruised arm. “What is so important about the Geldos Cluster?”

  “A great treasure is hidden there,” said Dasta. He started the shuttle’s engines. “The most valuable invention in the world!”

  “Invented by you?”

  “Of course!” he snapped. “Before Ardul and I were arrested, I managed to hide it on a tiny planet in the middle of the Cluster.”

  “What were you arrested for, anyway?” asked Gipsy.

  “My invention was very expensive to build,” said Dasta. “I had to rob the Universal Raptor Bank to pay for the parts. That’s why I teamed up with Ardul.”

  Ardul nodded proudly. “I is the best rank slobber in space.”

  “The best bank robber, you dino-nut. And I only wish you were!” The shuttle took off in a cloud of stinky smoke. “Ardul here forgot to wear his robber’s mask,” Dasta explained. “He was recognized. The raptor police tracked him down – and me with him!”

  “Good,” said Gipsy. But she had to admit she was curious. “What is this incredible invention, anyway?”

  “The replicator,” said Dasta proudly. “It makes a perfect copy of anything you put inside it. Gold . . . jewels . . . anything at all!”

  Gipsy gasped. “That is amazing!”

  Dasta pulled a gold piece from his belt. “All I need is a single coin, and I can make a million more . . .”

  “That is what you is promising to pay me for slobbing that rank,” grumbled Ardul. “One million gold pieces.”

  “And that’s what you shall get, my friend,” said Dasta. “When the replicator is mine once again!”

  “So where exactly did you hide it?” Gipsy asked.

  “On Geldos Beta,” said Dasta. He pee
red at the shuttle’s controls. “In this little tub, we should reach there in just over two hours!”

  Gipsy glanced down at her communicator. What Dasta didn’t know was that she had secretly switched it on. Every word of their conversation had been transmitted to Arx back on the Sauropod.

  But was there anything Arx could do?

  *

  On the flight deck, Arx listened gravely to Dasta’s boasting. The dimorphodon were perched all over him, twittering and flapping in dismay. Arx was glad of their company. With Teggs, Iggy and Gipsy all lost and in danger, he felt very lonely indeed.

  “What we need is a plan,” he said, gruffly, pulling himself together. “Any ideas?”

  “Eep,” said a dimorphodon.

  “That’s correct,” Arx said. “We know where they’re going – Geldos Beta.”

  “Eep, eep,” said another.

  “Yes, we can go faster than they can, so we could get there first,” he agreed. “But then what?” He sighed. “Do I dare risk a rescue? If I mess things up, Gipsy could get hurt. Oh, if only the real Teggs and Iggy were here!”

  A dimorphodon flapped down and patted him on the horn with a sympathetic wing.

  But then two more of the reptiles squawked. Arx looked up sharply. The sensors were showing a ship close by. “Turn on the scanners!” he barked.

  On the screen, Arx could see a small, dark ship approaching. Picked out in red on the side of the craft was a now-familiar dinosaur skull with rows of jagged teeth.

  “It’s a meat-eater ship,” breathed Arx. “And we have no weapons. If they attack us, we can’t fight back!”

  The dimorphodon squawked in alarm. Arx started to sweat as the ship drew closer.

  “What can I do?” he wailed. “If I run, it means running out on Gipsy. But if I stay, the Sauropod could be destroyed. And then the starving dinosaurs on Diplos will never get their food in time!”

  There was no doubt about it. The carnivore craft was heading straight for the Sauropod.

  Chapter Eight

  DOUBLE-CROSSED!

  ARX WAITED FOR the approaching ship to ask what he was doing in meat-eater space. He fully expected the rasp of a raptor or the grating roar of a T. rex to sound over the Sauropod’s speakers.

  But the speakers stayed silent. Had they been damaged in the fight with the death ship?

  “If they won’t talk to me, I’ll have to talk to them,” Arx decided. He pressed a button. “Calling carnivore ship. This is Arx Orano of the DSS Sauropod. Can you hear me?”

  The ship made no response.

  “We are plant-eaters and mean you no harm,” said Arx. “We were brought here against our wishes by wanted carnivore criminals. It’s a long story. First, we lost our captain and our chief engineer—”

  “Cheer up, Arx!” came a hissing voice from the speakers. “You’ve just found them again!”

  “What?” Arx frowned. “Who is this?”

  “It’s Teggs!” cried the creepy voice.

  “And Iggy!” came another, more stupid-sounding voice. “We just worked out how to turn on the communicator!”

  “What’s happening, Arx?” asked Teggs. “I knew you’d soon see through that dastardly Dasta and his stupid sidekick!”

  “Not soon enough, I’m afraid,” sighed Arx. “Come on board, Captain. I’ll tell you all about it!”

  Fifteen minutes later, Teggs was back in his control pit. He ran around eating all the ferns he could reach.

  Arx looked down at him fondly. “I’m glad to see that whatever body you’re in, your stomach remains the same size!”

  Teggs grinned up at him. “Just trying to get the taste of smelly old meat out of this mouth,” he said. “Hey, Iggy, jump in. Plenty of plants for us both in here!”

  “Incoming!” whooped Iggy, as he dived to join him.

  Arx noticed that the dimorphodon were hanging back. They just couldn’t believe that these two nasty-looking meat-eaters were actually Teggs and Iggy. But Arx could, now that he’d seen them up close. He could see the friendly sparkle in their eyes. However they looked, that would always stay the same.

  “Now then, Arx,” Teggs said with a belch. “Let’s swap stories.”

  Teggs told of how he and Iggy had managed to escape rubbish chutes and robots . . . How Iggy had managed to repair the only remaining ship . . . And how they had taken the mind-swapper and headed straight for the Geldos Cluster. They knew Dasta and Ardul would go there, and planned to get their bodies back!

  Arx told Teggs of the Sauropod’s dangerous journey – and of the one that Gipsy was making even as they spoke. He also explained about Dasta’s treasure.

  “A replicator?” Iggy frowned. “I don’t believe it!”

  Arx shrugged. “I wouldn’t have believed that a mind-swapping machine was possible – but I’m looking at the proof!”

  “Not for much longer, I hope,” said Teggs. “Somehow we have to fix Dasta and Ardul for good, set Gipsy free, and swap back into our own bodies.”

  “And then take all those plants and seeds we’re carrying straight to Diplos!” added Arx.

  “Is that all?” sighed Iggy. “What shall we do after breakfast?”

  “Have an early lunch!” Teggs winked at him. “Arx, if we travel at top speed, can we still get to Geldos Beta ahead of Dasta in the shuttle?”

  Arx checked with the dimorphodon.

  “Just.”

  “Then let’s get moving,” Teggs ordered. “I’ve got a plan – but there’s not a moment to lose!”

  The Sauropod was soon in secret orbit around Geldos Beta. Arx, Iggy and Teggs watched as Dasta’s stolen shuttle came into land. Then Teggs and Iggy followed them down in the prison ship at a safe distance.

  “We’d better get after them fast,” said Teggs, stepping onto the planet’s sandy surface. “As soon as they’ve got the replicator, they’ll take off again.”

  Iggy nodded grimly. “And that could mean we lose Gipsy as well as the chance to get our bodies back!”

  The two transformed astrosaurs scurried off through the sand in search of their real bodies. After a few minutes they reached a sand dune, and climbed to the very top.

  “There we are,” said Teggs quietly, peeking over the edge. “I mean, there they are. We’ve found them just in time!”

  It was a strange feeling, watching themselves.

  Dasta, the fake Teggs, was threatening Gipsy with his mighty tail. He swished it about impatiently. Gipsy was digging in the sand, while Ardul half-heartedly helped.

  “Ugh,” hissed Iggy. “I hate the feeling of sand between my toes! Watching Ardul do that to my body is giving me shivers!”

  “I couldn’t stand it if my tail was used to hurt Gipsy,” said Teggs softly. “In fact, my plan depends on Gipsy getting well clear of us – I mean, them.”

  Iggy nodded.

  “What we need is a distraction.”

  Suddenly Ardul jumped high in the air. “We has found it!” he cried, excitedly. “The Sheep-Locator is right here!”

  “Replicator, you ignoramus!” yelled Dasta. “You’re right! There it is! Pull it out, girl, you stripy sausage! I must test it, right away.”

  Gipsy dragged a large, metal box from out of the sand. It looked like an oven with a big lever on the side and some flashing lights on top. “Doesn’t look like much to me,” she grunted. “Prepare to be amazed,” said Dasta.

  Teggs and Iggy watched as he placed a single gold coin inside the replicator and pulled the lever. The lights flashed crazily, on and off, on and off – and then the door swung open.

  Gipsy gasped. The replicator was bulging with gold coins.

  “It still works!” cried Dasta in delight. He grabbed some of the coins with his mouth. “Real gold! Ha! I’m rich! I’m rich!”

  “That is where you is wrong,” said Ardul suddenly. He stomped forwards and picked up the replicator. “Now you has shown me how this machine works, I is thinking I shall take it for myself.”

  “No!” gasped Da
sta. “You – you can’t double-cross me!”

  “Why not?” asked Ardul.

  “Because I was going to double-cross you first, that’s why not!” Dasta raised his tail. “Now put down the replicator!”

  “No,” said Ardul. “I is going to take it away in that shuttle and be rich.”

  “Over my dead body!” cried Dasta.

  Teggs gave Iggy a worried look. “Over my dead body, actually!”

  “We’re not just titchy little coelophysis any more, Ardul,” said Dasta. “We’re big, mean fighting machines. I could squash you with a swish of this tail!”

  Ardul raised his iguanodon thumb spikes. “Or I could poke you with these and bring an ear to your tie.”

  “I think he means a tear to your eye, Dasta,” said Gipsy, helpfully.

  “I could do that too,” Ardul agreed.

  “We’ll see,” snarled Dasta. So saying, he whacked Ardul on the head with his tail!

  Ardul staggered back and dropped the replicator on the sand. Then, with an angry hoot, he charged at Dasta and knocked him off his feet. Dasta responded by biting Ardul on the tail. Ardul yelped, and poked Dasta in the nose with his sharp thumb.

  “Stop fighting, you two!” yelled Gipsy. “You wouldn’t treat your own bodies like this, would you?”

  “Ouch!” gasped Teggs, as Ardul brought a big rock crashing down on Dasta’s head. “We’ve got to move fast, Iggy – before our bodies are battered to bits. Otherwise we’ll be stuck as coelophysis for ever!”

  Chapter Nine

  A DEADLY GAMBLE

  DASTA AND ARDUL’S battle grew wilder. It was stegosaurus versus iguanodon in a furious fighting frenzy!

  Ardul jabbed Dasta in the ribs with a karate chop. Dasta gave him a hefty kick with one enormous foot.

  The two dinosaurs kept on fighting. Teggs and Iggy watched in amazement.

  “I didn’t know my body could do that!” gasped Iggy, as Ardul stood on his hands and slapped Dasta’s face with his short, stiff tail.

  “And I didn’t know I could balance on my back!” cried Teggs, as Dasta spun backwards to get out of the way and whacked Ardul with his head. “I have to say, I’m picking up tips!”

  “Look!” hissed Iggy. “They’re so busy fighting they’ve forgotten about Gipsy!”