Tennessee Waltz

by Simmons, Trana Mae

  Robert surged to his feet. "If I thought I was being stupid, I'd forget about this, Wyn! But the only thing I feel stupid about right now is the thought of going back out there without somethin' to protect myself. And it ain't bein' a coward! My family depends on me to take care of 'em, and I can't do it six feet under!"

  "Damn it, Robert! A feud's awful easy to get started in these mountains! I could name you two of them not that far from here that have been going on for a hundred years!"

  "Then we'll have to make sure one don't get started in our end of the mountains, won't we?"

  Robert stomped off, his boot heels clumping furiously on the floorboards. Wyn had remained in his chair, in a hopeless attempt to defuse the situation instead of pushing Robert into a fight. Now he leaned back and dropped his head to his chest, shaking it back and forth in uneasiness.

  Chapter 21

  Sarah wallowed in self-pity for a week or so — until she realized what she was doing. Then an emotion with which she hadn't had much experience tentatively poked its head up. It happened during a restless night, nagging at the edge of her consciousness until she had no choice but to examine the puzzle of it.

  The closest thing she could remember to this emotion was the way she'd felt when she stormed after Wyn the day he mentioned the love potion. She had symbolically left her etiquette book in her little cabin and dared either Wyn or Tater to make her feel embarrassed over her lack of manners. Come to think of it, she'd come out on top in that confrontation too!

  Yes, that unfamiliar emotion was definitely anger. With it identified to her satisfaction, she thinned her lips and found she actually enjoyed it.

  It didn't bother her a bit when she only managed three hours or so of sleep for the rest of that night. Morning found her brighter and more chipper — as well as more determined — than she had been in ages.

  She put her plan into motion discreetly, mentally smiling at one point and thinking maybe she might have made a tactical commander worthy of West Point, had she been of the opposite gender.

  Funny, she couldn't even have formed a comment like that in her mind prior to dealing with the mountain people. And deal with them she would. Maybe she would go home with her tail tucked between her legs, as they would say here in the mountains, but it would be because the tail had been singed in the blaze of glory she gave her last confrontation with the people in Sawback Mountain.

  She didn't tell Mandy of her plan. She played the kowtowed, meek and chastised schoolteacher to the hilt. Perhaps she even overplayed it, because she noticed by the end of that first day, Dan and Mandy were giving her extremely strange looks.

  Wyn didn't look at her much at all. Each time she drew near him, she could sense him mentally counting off the days until her school term was over. So be it. She wouldn't crawl to him. She'd crawled to way too many males in her life as it was. If Wyn didn't have the courage to face the problems they would have in a relationship, it definitely wouldn't work. She might as well admit to the failure now.

  She sent word of her plan home with the children on that first day, asking them to invite their parents to a competition at the end of the following week. She assured them there would be a written invitation coming home with them the next day, and she made enough copies to send one home to each family and keep her promise. In them, she explained the competition would be much more than a spelling bee. She didn't mention prizes. In her mind, that would be making a tactical error.

  On Saturday afternoon, Kyle Jackson arrived. At first, his visit surprised Sarah, since she didn't remember anyone mentioning that he was scheduled for services in Sawback Mountain that week. While she greeted him, she reviewed the cleanliness of the schoolhouse in her mind, but she knew the children had, as usual, left it orderly on Friday afternoon.

  And she supposed it wasn't any wonder she hadn't realized Kyle would be there that weekend. She'd been so busy with her plans for just prior to when she left Sawback Mountain, she had barely remembered it was Mandy's birthday Saturday — and that she'd been invited to a more special dinner than usual.

  Kyle showed up at her door about the time she was due over to Mandy's, offering to escort her.

  "I've got a dual purpose for this, Sarah," he said after she asked him in until she fetched her present for Mandy. "This afternoon when I arrived, you seemed awfully distracted, like you had something bothering you. Is there anything you need to talk about?"

  "Not of a religious nature," Sarah assured him with a small laugh. "But . . ."

  She picked up the present and considered Kyle for a minute. "You're planning on staying here in Sawback Mountain even after you get married, aren't you, Kyle?"

  "Definitely. Fairilee's like a rare mountain flower. She wouldn't be happy anywhere else. She'd wither up and die. I don't think my family has given up on me coming back to New York to live yet, but they're going to have to accept it."

  "Then you'll have an interest in the schools in the mountains, as soon as you start having children of your own."

  "I'm hoping we have lots of them," Kyle agreed. "And I truly have an interest already in the schools, given that they educate the children of my parishioners."

  "I didn't think of that. I understand."

  Taking the package with her, Sarah left the cabin and waited until Kyle closed the door behind them. On the way to Mandy's, she went on, "Will you have time for us to talk a few minutes after supper? There are a couple things I'd like to tell you."

  "Of course, Sarah. I'll come over to see you as soon as I can get away."

  "Thank you."

  They arrived at Mandy's and were engulfed in the huge MacIntyre family. Despite the cacophony, however, Sarah sensed something in the atmosphere. Inside the boardinghouse, Kyle took her package from her and laid it on a table in the parlor, where some other wrapped presents lay. Sarah approached Mandy, who sat on one end of the settee, with Dan in his wheelchair beside her.

  "Why, Mandy," she said, acceding when the older woman took her hand and urged her to sit beside her. "You look absolutely beautiful this evening. And I do indeed feel under-dressed."

  It didn't seem possible, but the color in Mandy's cheeks heightened. "I'm very happy this evening, dear," Mandy said. "As soon as Wyn gets back, we're going to make an announcement."

  "We?" Sarah asked.

  Mandy's look at Dan left no doubt in Sarah's mind what the announcement would be.

  Dan winked at Sarah and reached over to take Mandy's hand. "You'll have to wait like everyone else," he teased.

  Sarah laid a hand on Mandy's arm. "I'm extremely happy for you." She slipped a wink back at Dan. "Whatever the announcement is."

  Just then, Wyn came back, with Robert and Sissy along. Robert carried Baby Sarah, and Sarah had already recognized Bobbie's voice in the kitchen among the other MacIntyre children's loud noises. Sissy set about rounding everyone up, and Wyn glanced briefly at Sarah, his eyes traveling on to where Kyle stood behind her side of the settee. Then he carried a bottle over to the buffet in the parlor to set it down.

  He ignored the two armchairs in the room, instead propping a shoulder against the cold fireplace and crossing his ankles. Robert evidently decided the other side of the fireplace needed his support, imitating Wyn and concealing the scarred side of his face with his stance.

  As soon as the children were ushered in and tamed well enough to sit cross-legged on the floor, Dan cleared his throat.

  "I guess most of you have probably figgered out already why Mandy and I asked you to all be here this evening."

  "Yeah, so we can have some cake!" Jute called. Luke nudged him in the ribs, and Jute gave his twin a surprised look. Some silent message appeared to pass between them, and Jute's eyes grew wide and round, as did his mouth. He glanced back at his father in awe, but kept his thoughts to himself.

  "If everyone is paying attention now," Dan said with a tolerant glance at Jute, "I want to make an announcement. Mandy Tuttle has made me a very happy man by agreeing to be my wife. We
asked the reverend here to marry us tomorrow."

  "Tomorrow!" Sarah shifted to face Mandy fully. "You can't possibly get ready for a wedding overnight!"

  "You can for a mountain wedding," Mandy said placidly. "Lonnie's already ridden around putting the word out."

  Suddenly Sissy rushed forward and threw her arms around Dan. "I'm so happy for you, Pa. And Mandy." She hugged Mandy and the rest of the MacIntyres finally realized what had happened. The buzz of excitement in the room rose to a crescendo.

  Except for Wyn, Sarah noticed. He threaded through the crowd around the happy couple and gave each of them a hug, as well as a brief kiss on Mandy's cheek. Then he casually strolled out of the parlor. She thought to go after him, but Mandy grabbed her arm in a tight hold, eagerly explaining her plans for the next day to everyone.

  Guess I could leave now if I wanted to.

  Although he'd been trying to keep the darned thought buried, it finally broke into Wyn's conscious mind. It began rumbling around in his subconscious a few days ago, when he became fairly sure his father and Mandy would wed. He had no idea how they would split up the household, but it seemed plausible the girls and the twins would move into Mandy's house with their pa, leaving the living quarters over the store for Robert, Sissy and their young'uns.

  Guess I could leave now if I wanted to.

  Yeah, he could, if he wanted to. The responsibilities holding him here would soon be Mandy Tuttle's . . . no, Mandy MacIntyre's obligations. She'd be a good mother to the girls, and she'd always loved those twins to distraction. She didn't even flinch at Swishy Snake.

  He didn't want to leave, however — at least, not permanently. Two years away had shown him his heart and his very soul lay in these mountains — with these people — with his family and friends. Nowhere else on earth could he find such peaceful satisfaction as he did the mornings he sat on the front porch before everyone else was up. Coffee cup in hand, he watched the sun slowly invade the misty distance, bringing to life the view he carried in his mind whenever he couldn't actually see it for real.

  He wandered up the steps to the general store porch, then turned in the direction he gazed each morning. Sundown was a few minutes past, but the fiery streaks hadn't completely faded. If anything at all was more beautiful than sunrise, it was sunset. Darkening gray clouds interspersed the vermilion and magenta colors Granny Clayborne had somehow managed to capture in the colors of her wool, with the rolling mountain peaks in the foreground of the panorama. The briefness of the spectacle made it that much more special.

  And the only thing that could make it even more special would be watching it with a woman he loved. No, with the woman he loved, he admitted once again. With the one woman he could never ask to give up her affluent lifestyle and live in the mountains with him. Days of wrestling with the problem had shown him there was no solution. No matter how much his heart wanted Sarah, his mind left him no doubt she would come to resent him over the years.

  Rose, at least, had been honest enough to tell him she would never make a mountain wife. For her own good, Wyn would let Sarah go. She had another man waiting for her anyway — a man of her own social station. A man she had chosen herself, who would suit her much better than a man who had mountain water mixed in his blood.

  He didn't know what he would do with his life now. He needed to step aside — let Robert and his father take care of the store. Sure, he enjoyed that, also, but his pa and Robert would do every bit as well. Pa enjoyed the bookwork and ordering. It would do Robert good to handle the clerking and get over being ashamed of his face. Meeting and dealing with people would help that along. Sissy would be ecstatic that Robert had a legal way to support her and the young'uns.

  Finally even the faint tinge of pink in the west faded, and Wyn sauntered over to the far corner of the porch. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he leaned against a corner post. He could always go back to Washington, D.C., and find a job. Despite the near betrothal between him and Rose, the senator and he parted on good terms. Before his pa's accident, there had been discussion about grooming Wyn for a possible political career at some point, where he could use his influence to better the mountain people's lives. He supposed he could still do that, but it wasn't really what he wanted, since it would mean leaving the mountains.

  "Meow."

  Gray Boy curled around his ankles, coaxing to be picked up, and Wyn complied. The kitten cuddled against his chest, and he stroked the soft fur, wishing it was a heavy mass of gold-brown silkiness instead.

  He couldn't decide which stabbed his heart deeper — the thought of some other man burying his face in Sarah's hair while he buried another part of himself inside her. Or the thought of another man's child suckling Sarah's breast while she cuddled it like she did Baby Sarah. Both of them ranked right up there with the deep agony he would feel every morning and evening for the rest of his life while he watched the sun rise and set without Sarah beside him to enjoy the wonderment.

  And the worst agony would be knowing another man had the pleasure for himself. Had he been a lesser man, he would accept the few years it would take Sarah to realize she should never have stayed in the mountains for his own. Store up the memories to savor during the bleak rest of his life after she left him.

  "But that would be even worse," he told Gray Boy, laying his cheek against the soft fur. "I'd be selfishly ruining the life she already has planned for herself, for the sake of a little time with her of my own. And what if we had children, which is a definite possibility from how bad I want that woman. It would tear me apart enough when I finally lose Sarah. To lose our children, also . . ."

  He definitely had to leave the mountain too. With Pa and Mandy married and taking care of the children, and with Sissy and Robert a pair, he would be odd man out. His ache of loss would intensify watching the happiness of the other couples.

  ~~~~

  The beautiful day allowed the windows and door to be opened on the schoolhouse, a good thing since the crowd overflowed the confines of the building. The same people who attended the wake came to the church and Kyle raised his voice loud enough for those gathered outside to hear. The sermon over, everyone adjourned to the yard in front of the store. Even though Mandy and Dan sat together in church, Wyn wheeled his father ahead to the porch to wait for his bride. Sarah, the maid of honor to Wyn's best man, accompanied Mandy through the crowd as Tater played a very adequate wedding march on his fiddle.

  Dan had only eyes for Mandy, and when Sarah stepped aside, the look between the two of them sent a quietness over the crowd. Kyle opened his Bible, but rather than starting the ceremony immediately, he waited for something only he appeared to realize was still to be played out before the first words could be spoken. Even Mandy gave a slight gasp when it happened.

  Dan braced himself on the arms of the chair. Slowly and firmly, he stood, all the while keeping his eyes on Mandy. Sarah saw Mandy's eyes fill with tears, and a film misted her own gaze. Only a little wobbly, Dan turned to face Kyle, then reached and took Mandy's hand. Shoulders straight, he stood there with his bride.

  "Dearly beloved . . ." Kyle began.

  Sarah glanced across at Wyn in time to see him swallow and brush the back of his hand against the corner of one eye. He wore a white shirt and a dark blue, almost black suit today, and perhaps one of his sisters had cut his hair. It gleamed in the shadows beneath the overhang as though just washed, but now laid smoothly on his neck rather than curling around his collar. She had rather liked the longer length, but she supposed it only proper he tame it for the wedding.

  He looked at her, then immediately away. But as Kyle continued speaking, Wyn's eyes came back to hers. The blue color was deeper today, almost as though some sort of shadow had passed over the sun. When Kyle cleared his throat, Sarah realized he'd asked Wyn for the ring, and their gazes parted.

  Dan's husky voice made Mandy his wife, and she joyfully repeated her own vows. After Dan kissed her and shook hands with Kyle, he carefully lowered himself back into h
is chair, then pulled Mandy onto his lap. She giggled in embarrassment, but Dan wrapped one arm across her waist to hold her to him and swung the chair around to face the crowd.

  "I'm right proud to present to all of you Mrs. Mandy MacIntyre," he called. "Now, let's get some food in our bellies and then kick up our heels and celebrate."

  Sarah gave Mandy a hug and Dan a kiss on the cheek, then stepped back to allow the rest of the people to offer their good wishes. She didn't even realize tears were streaming down her cheeks until Wyn silently offered her his handkerchief yet once again. She thanked him with a quiet, watery smile.

  "Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk last night, Sarah," Kyle said from behind her. "Mandy kept us busy with wedding plans."

  Patting her face dry, Sarah turned to face him. "We can talk today. It was a beautiful ceremony, Kyle."

  "Thank you." He took her arm and led her toward the steps. "Tell you what. Let's get some food, and we can talk while we eat."

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Wyn take a step toward them. However, instead of asking her to eat with him, as she admitted she'd had a faint hope he would do, he only stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched against the side of the store. Sighing in resignation, she went with Kyle, silently rehearsing the plans she needed to let him know about so she wouldn't forget anything. The people didn't want her here, and neither did Wyn, but she couldn't bring herself to not care about them.

  It took them a while to get to the food tables, since several parents stopped Sarah to tell her they thought her competition for the end of the year was a good idea. She especially liked the gleam she saw in a parent's eye now and then that made her think the parent was sure their child would win whatever contest she came up with. Finally, though, they managed to fill their plates and find a somewhat private spot beneath a huge oak tree to eat.