“Well we could do that again if you want,” Reid replied, breaking my thoughts. I wasn’t all that sure what I would wish for now if that stupid story had any truth to it, but I was pretty sure it would involve the man standing in front of me, holding out my cheap plastic brown sunglasses.
“Uh, yeah,” I stuttered, realizing I was probably gawking at Reid as he changed into a different t-shirt right in front of me.
“But tonight we’re staying at a cattle ranch, so it’ll have to be some other time.” He smiled a youthful grin at me and although I had no clue what he was talking about, I was in.
We climbed into the car and elected to keep the top down, even though the air from the highway would still be a little cool in the early morning hours. It was barely seven o’clock. I threw on a red sweatshirt Reid handed me and we made our way back onto the interstate.
As usual, Reid continued with his road trip play list, each song carefully selected and organized into what he called ‘a perfect order.’ About half of the songs were familiar to me, but many weren’t, although I liked his taste in music.
“So we’re really staying at a cattle ranch tonight? Or was that a joke?” I asked as we continued down the highway. The sun had warmed the air and I was back in my tank top, taking in some color on my shoulders.
“It’s really a ranch, or it used to be anyway,” Reid explained. “It’s an old family friend of my parents. They all went to school together in Michigan, and then he moved with my parents to California for grad school. He was roommates with my dad until my parents got married after graduation. He went on to own a winery outside of Napa, and he was pretty successful. His name is Phil Bucksworth, but my brother and I always called him Uncle Buck because we thought it was funny. Anyway, one of the bigger wineries bought his out. On a whim he moved to Nebraska and bought a huge cattle ranch.”
“That seems a little random,” I replied. Owning a winery seemed so sophisticated - cows, not so much.
“Yeah, well that’s Uncle Buck for you. He just gets an idea and runs with it,” Reid said with a smirk. “Anyway, he was really close with my parents, friends of theirs from way back. I think he and my dad have the same mutual cousin or something. I still haven’t figured out how that works.”
“Does he know we’re coming?” I asked inquisitively.
“Well, he knows I’m coming. You’ll be a pleasant surprise,” Reid said nodding, looking over at me. “It’s not exactly a Stay-The-Nite motel, but it’ll work for a night. He sold off most of the land a few years ago when he realized he couldn’t handle all that property and herd by himself, so he only has a couple hundred cattle now. So the ranch isn’t really what it used to be, but it’s still a pretty cool place.”
We continued driving down the interstate, letting the wind overtake us along with Reid’s music. Other than a stop for some donuts in the morning, a quick sandwich stop for lunch, and a few bathroom breaks, we were making pretty good time.
Around four-thirty, we pulled off the highway and made our way through some country roads lined with budding corn fields. Minutes later we pulled up to a dirt road with a wrought iron archway. The sign hanging above the road read Big B Ranch and honestly the entire entrance looked like it needed an overhaul. There were old, empty wooden flower beds along the fence with dried up soil, and tall raggedy weeds were lining most of the entrance posts. It almost looked like no one lived there - at least not anytime in the last year or so.
We pulled up the dirt drive and parked in front of a beautiful white farmhouse. A white fence lined both sides of the property and there were cows eating, huddled around in a large group.
Before Reid even shut off his engine, a tall burly man in overalls came out of the front door with a shot gun in his right hand. As soon as he saw Reid, he set the gun down and a huge smile spread across his weathered face.
“Shit, boy, I coulda shot you in the face. I thought you weren’t coming til tomorrow,” the man said, wrapping Reid in a big hug as he exited the car. I climbed out of the passenger seat as they embraced. “Preston gave you his car, huh? That son of a gun,” the burly man continued, shaking his head.
“Uncle Buck, this is Cassidy,” Reid explained, gesturing towards me.
“Son, you just had me cursing in front of a lady? Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing a friend?” Uncle Buck made his way around the car and surprised me by wrapping me up in a sweaty embrace as well. “Well Mother of Pearl, you look just like one of my ex-girlfriends. Christy… Christy Brinkley.”
“Uncle Buck, you never dated Christy Brinkley,” Reid said with a chuckle, opening the trunk of his car to retrieve our bags.
“What would you know about it boy, I’m old as dirt. You weren’t alive back then,” Uncle Buck continued, leading me towards a small building behind the farmhouse. “You guys get the guesthouse,” he stated, motioning to a quaint white square building with light blue shutters.
“It’s really beautiful out here,” I commented, looking around the property. The fields were thick with two-foot tall green stalks of corn. Some chickens pecked their way outside of an old barn behind the guesthouse.
“Why don’t you two get all cleaned up? I’ll get something ready for supper. You eat venison?” Uncle Buck said towards me.
“Probably,” I replied with a smile. I honestly had no idea if I liked venison, but this man seemed so jovial and kind I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Reid grabbed our bags out of his car and we made our way to the guesthouse. The old white door opened easily, and it was cleaner than I expected it to be inside.
“Do people stay here often?” I asked Reid.
“Probably. Uncle Buck likes company. We would stay here for a night or two every year on our way out to Michigan. My dad comes out here a couple times a year too to go hunting with Uncle Buck. He’s got some family in South Dakota also, so I think they’re down here a few times a year as well,” Reid explained, setting our bags down on a small pine table nestled in a tiny light blue kitchen. The curtains and dish towels were all a floral print, leading me to believe a woman had decorated the place.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” I stated, picking up my bag. I was definitely looking forward to a good warm rinse and some fresh clothes.
“I’ll go take mine in the main house so you can have some privacy,” he replied, giving me a gentle kiss. It felt sincere and playful all at the same time. I was tempted to ask him to stay, but it felt wrong in that moment. Being in someone else’s house made me feel like I was still in high school sneaking around with a boyfriend. If we walked back into the main house at the same time both perfectly showered, Uncle Buck would probably know. It just felt weird.
“You’ll probably beat me,” I responded, slinging my bag over my shoulder.
“Well I’ll come back over here when I’m done to get you for dinner. If you’re not dressed yet I’ll wait patiently,” he said with a boyish grin. I recognized that look in his eyes. It suggested he wanted to devour me. I couldn’t honestly say I felt any different. I flashed him a playful smile and made my way to the bathroom.
He smiled back as I slowly closed the door. I had a feeling my appetite while in the shower wouldn’t just be focused on dinner. I turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up. It was in moments like these where I finally had time for a little self-reflection. Part of me wondered what I was really doing here. The other part of me though didn’t care. Maybe I didn’t have a plan. No, that was true, I had no plan. But maybe that was okay. Maybe this was my chance to just be crazy for a brief moment. A chance to really be nineteen. I was so focused on work, saving up for college, paying my bills - other girls my age were drunk in some sorority, begging for their next bad decision. Not that I wanted to take it that far. I didn’t want a bunch of ‘Reids’ in and out of my life. But it seemed to me every girl needed to experience at least one.
I smiled as I let the warm water cascade all over my skin. I knew right now in this moment this was my mome
nt - my ‘nineteen’ - that one time in my life where I could still be a little reckless. Where I could love someone ‘just because,’ whether it made perfect sense or not. Where I could just wrap myself up in someone completely, with no regard for fear or heartache.
Yes, I was going to enjoy every last second of this road trip, even if the end of the journey was the end of whatever we were to each other. I didn’t even care to think about it ending at all. It was happening now and I would not miss another single moment with him.
After I was completely showered, I shut off the water. I heard the front door of the guesthouse open and close and a huge smile spread across my face as I heard footsteps walking towards the bathroom. I wrapped a fluffy white towel around my torso and reached for the door handle.
“I thought you were going to wait until I was dressed,” I said suggestively, opening up the bathroom door. I flashed a shy smile and stepped out, hoping the look on Reid’s face would mirror mine.
Shit.
“You’re not who I expected,” I stammered uncomfortably, staring at a stranger in front of me.
CHAPTER 10
“Where’s Reid?” a woman in her fifties questioned, staring at me as I stood nervously in nothing but a cotton towel.
“He’s showering too. I mean not in here, obviously,” I said awkwardly. “He’s in the other house.”
“Are you with Phil?” she further questioned, narrowing her eyes at me.
“I’m sorry, who’s Phil?” I asked, confused and still quite embarrassed.
The front door opened again and Reid walked in.
“Mom?” he asked, raising up his left arm. “What are you doing here?” Reid’s hair was still wet and he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of grey gym shorts. His hard, toned abs shouldn’t have been on my radar at all in that moment, but they were so distracting and it was hard not to stare though I knew this wasn’t the right time for that.
“I thought you were distressed. I’ve never known you to do something this irrational. You just completely disregarded me and your father and took off. I knew you’re grieving, we’re all grieving honey. But we need to stick together in this. Your dad said you called and I understand you want some space right now, but I just don’t think you’ve thought all of this through.” A slow tear slid down his mom’s face and she looked like the epitome of sorrow. She was a beautiful petite woman with a dark polished bob and green eyes, but she looked heartbroken and empty.
“I lost my boy, Reid. My joyful, sweet, fearless boy,” she said between tears. “And I know you lost him too, but you have to know this is the ultimate heartbreak. It’s so devastating to go through that loss, but to have to watch my other boy grieve… to watch him lose his best friend…” She continued to sob and Reid wrapped her in a warm hug. Tears slid down his face and I knew I needed out of the room to give them their privacy.
I slowly slipped out the front door, realizing I was still in just a towel. I didn’t want to go back inside and interrupt their moment, so I elected to awkwardly sit on one of the white wicker rocking chairs on the porch. The walls were apparently thin, though. I could still hear their conversation.
“Mom, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain,” I could hear Reid say with a calm, sincere tone in his voice. “I tried to explain this to you. I tried to show you Preston’s letters, but you wouldn’t even read them. I’m just trying to do what he wanted.”
“But what if he changed his mind? What if there are more letters? You know how slow and unorganized the mail was from him, sometimes his correspondence was out of order,” she said through gentle sobs. “Maybe there were more letters. Maybe there’s more he wanted to tell us.”
“Mom,” he replied softly, continuing to console her. “Please just read the letters. I promise this will all make sense to you after you’ve read them. I’m certain this is what he wanted.”
“Okay,” she replied tearfully. “I’m at a loss, I don’t know what else to do. I’ll read them.”
The room seemed silent for a moment, and I imagined them quietly grieving together over the entire situation. I couldn’t imagine what a loss of that magnitude could do to a family. On the surface Reid seemed to be doing okay. He seemed great, actually. But then there were small glimpses, like when he stood on the edge of the bridge, where he looked empty and broken and full of heartache.
Minutes later, Reid’s mom finally spoke again. “So who’s the girl?” she questioned.
“I picked her up in Nevada,” he explained.
His mom gasped. “She’s a prostitute?”
“Mom, no,” he responded quickly, “why would you automatically think a girl from Nevada is a prostitute?” He let out a soft laugh.
“So why is she still with you? Is she staying at Phil’s?”
I probably should’ve ignored their conversation since I knew they were talking about me, but I couldn’t help eavesdropping.
“She’s making the trip with me. I don’t know, I just saw her and… I just wanted to know her. She had this look on her face that completely struck me. She looked defeated, like someone had given up on her. I just thought in that moment that I must’ve looked the same way. So I just figured maybe the world would end up a little better if we could experience something together. I don’t know, maybe that doesn’t even make sense. Why am I even talking to you about this?” he said bashfully.
“I guess I just didn’t expect to show up here and find you smiling,” she replied sincerely. “I feel like I haven’t smiled since that April phone call. It’s nice to see you like this though. I would give anything to feel joy again. I’ve just lost it.”
“Read the letters, Mom,” he reiterated. Seconds later the front door opened, startling me. I jumped up out of the rocking chair, clutching my towel tightly.
“I, sorry, I didn’t realize you were outside,” Reid said uncomfortably, stepping onto the porch. His mom followed him out.
“Sorry for the towel,” I stammered, smiling at her politely. “My clothes were still inside and I didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t think I should go into Uncle Buck’s place like this.”
“Phil would’ve welcomed you in there with open arms,” his mom replied sarcastically.
Ah, Phil was Uncle Buck. Her earlier comment made sense to me now. I felt like an idiot for not putting that together sooner.
“I’m just going to grab Preston’s letters out of the car for my mom,” Reid explained, walking over to the Mustang. “Then Uncle Buck will have dinner for us. You can finish getting ready.”
I politely excused myself from the drafty porch and made my way back inside the guesthouse. I had originally planned to just throw a pair of shorts back on, but now that I was going to be dining with Reid’s mom, beautifully dolled up in a chic pant suit, I felt like I needed to dial it up a notch. I was frustrated I didn’t have many options to pick from, so I just threw on the light blue cotton sundress I had thrown into my bag.
I quickly dried and scrunched up my long hair and applied some soft make-up. I wasn’t exactly ready for a night out on the town, but I definitely looked a lot more presentable than I had twenty minutes ago.
As I made my way over to the main house, I saw Reid’s mom sitting on a white porch swing. She had a glass of iced tea in her hand and she looked just like a picture.
“I’m Darla by the way,” she said towards me as I climbed the porch steps. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to formally meet,” she continued, extending a hand out to me. “I was a little out of sorts when I got here, I do apologize for that.”
“No need to apologize, really. I understand. I know you’re all going through a lot and I am so sorry for your loss,” I said genuinely.
“Dinner’s ready,” Reid chimed in, stepping out of the screened-in front door. “Well I see you two have met,” he said gesturing towards us. “Don’t play the hero and tell her I only called home from Utah in the first place because you made me,” Reid said pointing directly at me with a sm
ile. “This will go a whole lot better if she thinks I did that on my own.” Reid winked at me and I appreciated what he was doing.
“Thank you,” Darla said sincerely, touching my arm. “And thank you for putting a smile back on that boy’s face. It’s been awhile.”
“She’ll get to you too, Mom, just you wait,” he replied jovially. “Your cheeks will hurt from smiling by the end of the night after you spend some time with her.”
His words were sweet and endearing, and despite the tension of the situation, he really did lighten the mood. He grabbed my hand and led me into the dining area of the house where his mom and Uncle Buck joined us.
“Venison, smoked potatoes, and the sweetest Nebraska corn you’ll ever taste,” Uncle Buck stated proudly, setting the food on the table.
“Sorry for crashing the party Phil,” Darla interjected with a smirk.
“You know you’re always welcome here, Darla. It’s that son-of-a-bitch husband of yours I have to watch around here. He’ll drink all my bourbon,” Uncle Buck teased. “Where is Kent anyway?”
“He had a work conference in San Francisco,” she interjected. “He was thinking about flying in tomorrow though if I needed back up. But I’ll call him tonight to tell him I’m heading back tomorrow evening. I can’t convince Reid to come home with me, so I’ll head back solo. I’ve come to terms with what he’s doing,” she said sincerely, patting him softly on the arm.
I bit into a piece of venison, surprised that I enjoyed the taste. It was definitely different than any steak I’d ever had before, but it seemed to fit my situation. I was quickly coming to terms with the fact that just because something was outside of my comfort zone, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
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