Lock and Key

by Cat Porter

  Ruby stared at me from behind her oxygen mask. She tugged it off her face. “Once again honey, you are over thinking things,” she said. “If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have insisted on taking you to Montana, and he certainly wouldn’t have been panting for seconds after his first taste. And from what you’ve described, he was pretty damned enthusiastic about you between the sheets.”

  “Exactly,” I said. “Between the sheets, yes.”

  “Okay, so he’s just another asshole biker. Big surprise.”

  My stomach tightened. “No, I don’t think he is…”

  “And there we have it.” Ruby smirked at me.

  “Bitch.”

  “You like him. A lot,” Ruby said. “And by the way, what he said to you at the clubhouse, that was frigging poetic.”

  I shook my head at her. “He was just freaked out that night. He got carried away when he said all that. That’s it.”

  “I had my dream on my hands and in my mouth, and I never fucking realized.”

  I gnawed at the inside of my cheek. That heat flared again through my insides, but this time the soreness only stung. “Now he’s stepping back,” I murmured.

  “What about what he said to you at Erica’s? Insisting that you two were happening?”

  I frowned at my sister.

  “Stop it, Grace!” said Ruby.

  “What? Don’t actions speak louder than words?”

  “Did you ever think maybe he’s putting the brakes on in the harsh light of day not because he’s feeling too little, but because he’s feeling too much? Maybe what he feels for you is really intense, and that’s new for him.”

  “Maybe.”

  “That’s always a lot for a guy to deal with,” she said. “And for a guy like Miller, who has nothing except his bikes and the club, who has always kept a ‘lock’ on everything in order to survive, it’s probably a hell of a lot. It means change and letting go. And then letting someone else in? That’s a big deal for anyone. It happens to be a big deal for you, too.”

  I bit the edge of my thumb. Ruby slapped my hand from my mouth. “No witty, clever comeback?” she asked.

  “Nope.”

  “You want more with him Grace, you should explore it.”

  “That’s just it, though,” I said on an exhale. “I don’t think I’m capable of more. So his pulling back is just as well.”

  “Oh please. Have you tried? Since Dig, really tried… ever?” Ruby asked.

  “You know the answer to that.”

  “Yes, I do,” said Ruby. “The answer is a big fat no. So, here’s a better question: Did you ever want to this badly?”

  She held my gaze. I didn’t answer.

  Ruby leaned her head on mine. “It’s okay to like him, you know. It’s a good thing, Grace.”

  I blinked up at her. “Is it? I haven’t done the real relationship thing at all since Dig. I just can’t. And from what Alicia told me, he’s barely done it himself.”

  “Okay. Humor me here. For the sake of this conversation, forget the cringe worthy words “relationship” or “commitment.”

  I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Grace, listen.” Ruby took hold of my hand and squeezed. “Do you want to live something rich and whole with one other man? Do you want to give to him and accept what he has to give you and create something new together? Something special, exciting, warm and safe, just for the two of you? Wouldn’t you like to do that with Lock? From what you said, you two obviously have the chemistry for it.”

  “We certainly have chemistry.”

  “It’s not hard when it’s the right person, honey,” Ruby said. She rubbed my fingers and grinned. “In fact,” she said, “it’s a delight.”

  “You think I don’t remember what it can be like?” I asked.

  “Do you? Don’t you want it again? You can. But you have to choose it, Grace. Have the goddamn balls to say yes to it. We make our own choices in this life. And by the way, the choices our parents made had nothing to do with us. You understand that, right?”

  I turned my face away from her and swallowed.

  “It’s never too late,” she said and nudged my arm. “You know, it wasn’t easy with Alex, but it was so right. We managed. It was so worth it.”

  She seized my hand. Her breath hitched in her throat. Her eyes had filled with water.

  “Ruby what is it?”

  “Don’t let this sink Alex,” she whispered.

  “Stop. Don’t talk like that.”

  “I’m being a realist,” Ruby said. Her chest struggled for air.

  “I’ll kick his ass.”

  She grinned weakly. “I made him promise to kick yours too.”

  “Of course you did.”

  She cleared her throat. “Think about it, Grace. Actually, don’t think too hard about it, knowing you. Just dive in. It’s been too long. You’re a sensible forty-something now. Although, shit, you’ve always been this sensible, just not so freaking uptight.” Ruby let out a hoarse laugh.

  “I’m not uptight.”

  “For God’s sake, you used to be this hot biker chick. My sweet little sister, the scary biker’s Old Lady,” Ruby said. “Who would have thought? And I ended up marrying the clean upstanding white collar citizen with two college degrees. You definitely had our mother rolling in her grave for years!”

  We both laughed, and I threw the tissue box from her side table at her.

  She tossed the small box back at me. “Grace, you want real, you got to get real. And don’t tell me you don’t want real. You’ve always been about the real. It took me a long while to catch up with you.”

  “Aw, after everything I put up with from you. I’m really touched.” I put the box of tissues back at her side.

  She grinned at me. “It’s good to see you so hot and bothered about a man. Finally! There’s only so much mediocre fucking a woman should tolerate in her lifetime.” Her eyes held mine. “Hang on to Lock, Grace.”

  Years of mediocrity and making do ended that night for me at Dead Ringer’s when I had looked up from my whiskey and set eyes on a dark-eyed, enigmatic man.

  “I’m not hot and bothered,” I said.

  “You sure as shit are! And so is he.”

  “Shut up.”

  Ruby rolled her eyes at me. “Enough about you, bitch. What are you cooking for dinner for my husband and son?”

  “Black bean soup, your highness.”

  Ruby snorted. “Oh, Grace, they’re gonna love that.”

  “You bet your bony ass they will.”

  She threw the tissue box at me again.

  “Lockdown?”

  “Just for you, Little Sister.” Jump stuck his toothpick back between his teeth and twisted it.

  “What do you mean just for me?”

  “You’re on Demon Seed radar, woman. Got to keep you safe after that shit Vig pulled. I ain’t taking any chances. You’re staying here at the club where we can keep an eye on you 24/7.”

  My mother was right. History does repeat itself.

  “For how long? A couple of days, a week?” I asked.

  “We gotta see how this is gonna play out.”

  “I can’t do that Jump!”

  “Club voted on it this morning Sister, unanimous. You’re in, starting right now.”

  Shit, they had an emergency meeting on my account?

  “Jump, I got Ruby in the hospital in Rapid City—”

  “I know that.”

  “And Jake.” My voice got sharper along with my pulse. “Alex is going on a business trip for four days, and I’ve got Jake. I can’t—”

  Jump’s brow snapped. “Bring him with you!”

  “Are you joking?”

  “Grace!” Alicia said.

  I slumped in my chair. Ruby was going to love this. Not to mention Alex.

  “I appreciate this Jump. I do. It means a lot to me that the club has my back. The thought of my nephew being in any danger…”

  “That’s the fucking point!�
� Jump leaned over his desk, his massive hands planted in piles of papers, bills and bike magazines. His long braid of grey-black hair slipped over his shoulder.

  “This is to keep both of you safe, Sister,” Alicia said, touching my arm. “Look, we’ve been planning that bone marrow donor drive in Meager right?”

  I exhaled. “Yeah, that’s the other thing…”

  “You all set it up already, right? Jump asked. “You’ve got all the girls helping. They can take care of the final legwork in town and at the hospital for you. Alicia’s got it. Right, baby?”

  “Of course I do,” said Alicia. “I told you, we still do fundraisers every year, since you started the first one years ago. We’ve got this, Sister.”

  “You got phone, fax, and computer access here,” Jump said. “The women will keep an eye on the kid whenever you need, there are even a few kids around Jake’s age. Alicia’s already got a room set up for you.” Jump frowned at me again. “Look Sister, you told me yourself Ruby’s Old Man is always working and getting home late. Now you’re telling me he’s going out of town. You wanna be in that house in Rapid City, where you know nobody—with the boy—on your own?”

  He had a point.

  “Okay,” I said.

  But I didn’t like it.

  I would be stuck at the clubhouse for many days and nights within spitting distance of Lock. Going out of my mind distance. A Lock that I hadn’t seen or heard from in the two days since we’d been back from Montana. It was over, for whatever reason. But this lockdown would be rubbing salt in that wound. For me, at least.

  “Now what?” Jump asked.

  I crossed my arms and shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “You bitches never cease to amaze me.”

  Alicia let out a laugh and wrapped an arm around her Old Man’s shoulders. “And that’s the way you like it, baby.”

  Jump frowned at his wife and then turned to me. “I’ll have Dawes drive you to Ruby’s house,” he said. “You get packed, get the kid and we’re good. Now get moving.”

  “It’ll be great, sweetie.” Alicia smiled at me. “We’ll have fun, just like old times. You’ll see.”

  “This is so cool, Aunt Grace!”

  Jake let out another whoop and jumped on the queen size bed as if it were a trampoline.

  Jake’s miniature jeans, sweatpants, sweatshirts, undies, socks, and pajamas were all stacked next to my shirts, jeans, bras, and panties. I folded the last of his tiny t-shirts, sandwiched them in the drawer, and slammed it closed. The over-painted pine dresser shuddered. This was real. I was living back at the club.

  At least I had Jake to keep me occupied and the Bone Marrow Drive at the hospital to keep me busy. Super Busy. I would make sure of it. Surprisingly Ruby and Alex didn’t have a problem with our staying at the club, especially with Alex going out of town.

  “What are you not telling me?” Ruby had asked.

  “It’s just a precaution. My being back in town has made a few people uncomfortable.”

  “Like who?”

  “Vig, who is now president of the Demon Seeds, by the way.”

  “Goddammit! Did he try something?”

  “No. We ran into each other in Montana that’s all.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything? What the hell is going on, Grace?”

  “It was no big deal, Rube. But Jump doesn’t want to take any chances.”

  My sister’s eyes narrowed over me. She reached up and pulled me down in a hug. There was no lecture, no sweeping analysis of events. Just a hug. “I’m sorry this shit is still hanging over you after all this time,” she murmured.

  “I got it,” I said.

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Ruby said. She released me and opened her small cosmetic bag on her table. She handed me a tiny red cardboard envelope.

  She studied me as I snapped open the envelope and laid eyes on the safety deposit box key for the first time. The little brass key that only Ruby or I could use, and I would use it to clear our pasts and our future. Not to mention my rather screwed-up present. I wouldn’t let any hell from my past touch Jake. Ever.

  I snapped the envelope closed and tucked it in the zipper compartment of my handbag.

  “You okay?” Ruby asked.

  I flashed her a grin. “Never better.”

  Her eyes held mine as she sipped water from her styrofoam cup.

  “Can’t wait to hear about your stay at the club,” she said. “I want to hear all the dirty details, my dear. All of them. Because there will be much dirtiness going on. Just, please, not in front of my son.”

  Jake, of course, was thrilled to be staying at Biker Central.

  He launched off the bed and onto the floor. “You think Lock is here?”

  “I didn’t see him when we got here. Maybe he finished work and went home.”

  “Doesn’t he live here, too?”

  “I’m sure he has a room here, but he must have his own place somewhere else.”

  “I’m going to go find him!” Jake said.

  “Hold on, sweetie!”

  Jake flew out the door.

  I clicked the door closed behind me and followed Jake out into the courtyard. A group of kids were on the slide and swing set.

  “Hey Sister!” Mary Lynn, Junk’s Old Lady, a tall brunette, greeted me. Mary Lynn had six year old Melinda and four year old Carrie trying to climb the monkey bars.

  “Hey Mary Lynn, how are you?” I smiled at her.

  “Jake just ran into the shed.” She let out a laugh as she lifted her Carrie onto a swing. “Boys and their toys!”

  “Exactly, thanks! We’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Hey there, Grace,” said Suzi, Bear’s Old Lady. A little toddler boy held onto her hand.

  “Hey, Suze,” I said. “This is Luke?”

  “Sure is!” She let out a giggle.

  I crouched before the strawberry blonde, green-eyed boy. He gurgled at me and tapped my nose with his finger. I grabbed it and kissed it. His eyes widened at me, and he gurgled again.

  “Hi Luke. Aren’t you a cutie pie?”

  My gaze darted up to Suzi. “He’s gorgeous, Suzi. He obviously took after you in the looks department.” Suzi was a tall blonde, and all curves with a fresh faced beauty which unfortunately she often masked with too much makeup. Bear was not the most attractive specimen in the club. He had a huge muscular body and a dark face that looked like it was frozen in a permanent snarl. They made quite a striking couple.

  “I know, right?” Suzi said. “He does have his daddy’s stubborn streak, though. What can you do?”

  I planted a kiss on Luke’s cheek. His chubby hand popped up and tugged on my hair.

  “Oh no!” I exclaimed. Luke mirrored my clownish expression, and I untangled his fingers from my wavy strands of hair.

  “I’ll catch you guys in a bit,” I said and walked over to the shed.

  If I survive this, that is.

  The rusted metal sign “Wreck’s Repair” still hung over the large doorway of the shed. I stepped in and was assaulted by the dozens of hanging flags and eagle mementos. Covering the walls was Wreck’s precious collection of street signs, vintage oil and gasoline company signs, posters, old photos, paintings of Lock’s. All of them emblazoned with eagle imagery.

  “That’s it, you see that cable? All we have to do is connect it… hold on, right there. That’s it, little man. You got it. Way to go, Jake!”

  Lock’s deep masculine tone mingled with Jake’s innocent laughter and simmered in my chest. His large figure huddled over Jake’s small one, their hands nestled in the bowels of a bike that was raised up on a platform. Lock’s head was covered in a blue bandana. His long back and wide shoulders were arched against the bike.

  My mouth dried immediately at the sight. I cleared my throat. “How’s it going?”

  Jake twisted his adorable head towards me immediately. “Aunt Grace, I helped Lock fix a busted cable on this bike! Come here! Look!” His eyes were round as sauc
ers, his mouth motored on about pliers and chains. Lock stood up straight and turned towards me. Warmth flared over my skin.

  “Hey,” he said. His dark eyes swept over me quickly.

  “Hi.”

  My stomach was suddenly full of a thousand butterflies batting their goddamn wings. I shifted my weight.

  “You settled in?” he asked.

  “Yes, we are. Thanks.”

  He nodded and returned his attention to the bike.

  “Jake, show your Aunt Grace the new cable,” he said.

  Jake’s eyes became serious, and he reached out for my hand. I gave it to him, and he tugged me over to the bike. “Here it is, Aunt Gracie. You see it?”

  “I see it honey, look at that! You did that?”

  Jake beamed up at me, his cheeks pink. I moved a few steps to the left out of Lock’s way.

  “You’re going to help me this week, Jake?” Lock asked. “I could use an assistant around here. The other guys don’t know what they’re doing half the time. I sure could use your help.”

  “Really? Yes! Can I Aunt Grace, huh?” Jake’s face nearly burst at its seams.

  “Sure. Sounds good to me,” I said.

  I turned to Lock and mouthed silently, “Are you sure?”

  He nodded at me then turned to Jake again. “Why don’t you grab the broom from the corner down there and give our workspace a once over so it’ll be ready for us tomorrow.”

  “Right!” Jake literally bounced up off the balls of his feet and dashed off towards the back of the shed. Jake grabbed onto the giant commercial broom and pushed at it. He stumbled with it across the floor.

  “Geez. That used to be my job.” I let out a small laugh.

  “What?” Lock asked.

  “I used to come in here late afternoons if I didn’t have school or wasn’t working and bring Wreck a beer. We’d talk while I swept up. Later, I graduated to keeping his books organized.”