Across a Summer Sea

by Lyn Andrews

  ‘I don’t have to believe anything! Get out, Mary! Go on, get back to Nellie or Queenie or whoever you’re sponging off now!’

  She could see it was no use. He was adamant. Sadly, she turned away, shaking her head, her eyes full of tears. Now what was she going to do?

  She didn’t want to go back to Bella’s overcrowded kitchen and admit defeat, she had to sort out some kind of future for them all. To do that she needed to think. She walked up the street and onto Scotland Road and began to walk in the direction of town. It was bitterly cold and she clutched her shawl tightly to her, her head bent against the icy wind. What could she do? Should she try and get work, and then find somewhere to live even if it was just one room? But any job she could get wouldn’t pay for rent and coal and food and clothes. She wasn’t trained for anything. Oh, what had gone so wrong? How had things changed so much from that day ten years ago when she’d stood beside Frank in St Anthony’s and made her vows? Vows she’d never broken.

  She walked on deep in thought until the laughing words of her aunt Molly came suddenly to mind. Words that had been spoken on her wedding day.

  ‘If you get sick of him, Mary, you can always come over to me!’ They’d been spoken in jest but now, as she remembered them, an idea began to take shape. She caught sight of herself in a shop window. She looked thin and sort of wild-looking but was it any wonder? No, she couldn’t go on living like this. She’d make a fresh start. She’d take the children and go to Molly. It might bring Frank to his senses, but even if it didn’t and she had to make a new life for herself it would be better than struggling in this limbo. She straightened her shoulders. It had to be better than this.

  ‘Come in ter the fire, girl, yer’re half frozen!’ Bella said when she eventually arrived back. ‘Where’ve yer been? I was gettin’ worried. What did ’e say?’

  Mary sat down by the range and held her cold hands out to the warmth of the flames. ‘He wouldn’t listen. The place is a mess, he’s not looking after himself but . . .’ She shrugged.

  ‘Then I wouldn’t waste me pity on ’im!’

  ‘I’m not. I . . . I’ve decided to go away,’ she announced firmly.

  Bella was startled but her attention was diverted to a row that was in progress between her two eldest daughters. ‘Will the pair of yez give it a rest! Me ’ead’s burstin’ with the row out of yez, now pack it in!’ she yelled at them.

  Mary smiled tiredly. If a reason needed to be given for her decision Bella’s bickering girls had just provided it.

  ‘Go where, luv?’ Bella proceeded.

  ‘I’ve an aunty in Dublin. My mam’s youngest sister, Molly. I’ll write and ask her if she’ll have us. It might be a bit crowded. I know Molly is a widow and that her two lads have gone to America and Theresa is married and has moved out, but I think Rita is still at home. She’s a bit younger than me and she is married and has kids but I don’t know how many. But I’m sure we’ll manage,’ she finished firmly.

  Bella shook her head. She too had relatives in Dublin and from what she’d heard things were almost as bad over there as they were in Liverpool. Worse, in fact: wasn’t that why half the population took the emigrant ship?

  ‘Mary, I think I’d better go for the others. This is something that needs talking about. Discussing, like,’ she said, concerned.

  Mary sighed. ‘Well, I suppose they’ll have to know anyway.’

  ‘Get yerself a cup of tea, I won’t be long.’ Bella turned to her family. ‘And youse lot can get yerselves off ter bed, now! Me and Mary and the others want a bit of peace an’ quiet. You, ’Arry, get yerself off ter the pub,’ she instructed her long-suffering husband. He needed no second telling and snatched up his cap and muffler and was out of the door in a flash.

  Nellie was first to arrive. ‘What’s all this Bella’s been telling me?’

  Mary poured her a mug of tea. ‘Sit down; wait until the others arrive. There’s no point me telling the same tale five times over.’

  Nellie took the tea and sat deep in thought until Bella arrived back with Queenie, Mabel, Eileen and Maggie.

  ‘Go on, tell them what yer told me,’ Bella instructed.

  Mary told them how her trip to see Frank had proved fruitless. She reiterated her gratitude for everything they had done for her but said she had decided to make a fresh start.

  ‘But are you sure Molly will have you?’ Nellie asked.

  ‘She always said she would.’

  ‘But from what I hear things is bad in Dublin. There’s not much work and there’s shockin’ slums, as bad as here.’

  ‘What if I tell him you’re leaving Liverpool? It might bring him to his senses,’ Maggie suggested. She could understand Mary’s desire to go away but she thought it was a drastic decision to make so soon.

  Mary sighed. ‘You can tell him but I don’t think it will make any difference.’

  ‘What will yer do fer money, luv?’ Queenie asked. ‘Fer yer fares, like?’

  Mary twisted the thin gold band on the third finger of her left hand. Frank didn’t want her any more, so what did it matter? ‘I’ll sell my wedding ring. I wish I had some other bits of jewellery to sell, but I haven’t.’

  The women looked at each other sadly, realising that she really did mean what she said.

  ‘We’ll ’ave a birrof a whip-round, try ter get a few coppers ter help yer, luv.’

  ‘You’re all so kind. I’ve already taken far too much from you and you can’t afford it.’

  ‘Well, we can’t let you go traipsin’ over there with not a penny to bless yourself with. I’ll have a word with Hetty Price, she’s got more money than flaming sense!’ Nellie said firmly. She was sorry Mary was leaving but she could understand her reasons. She too had her pride and it was humiliating for her to be living off her neighbours when her husband was lording it with just himself and Maggie in that house.

  ‘I’ll write to Molly in the morning and then . . . then I’ll start to get things together. I’ll have to find work over there; I don’t care what it is as long as it brings in some money. At least I’ll know the kids will be looked after when I’m out.’

  Nellie nodded and they started to talk about the conditions they’d heard about in Dublin while they finished their tea. Soon after the other women had left, Harry returned from the pub with the news that Frank McGann had had an argument with Bert Price and had been barred. ‘God, but ’is temper’s vile these days!’ had been Harry’s final comment. Mary had just stared silently into the fire. How could she have ended up in this plight? She prayed Molly would keep her word.

  She wrote the letter next morning and posted it. On her way home she called in to Mr Dalgleish.

  ‘Morning, Mrs McGann. I thought you must be in the money, you haven’t been in with Frank’s suit for a good while.’

  ‘You must be the only one in the entire neighbourhood who doesn’t know what’s happened.’

  He looked serious. He had in fact heard rumours. ‘So it’s true?’

  ‘I’m afraid so, but it . . . it wasn’t my fault.’

  ‘Of course it wasn’t your fault. The man’s a fool!’ He meant what he said. Of all the women in the area Mary McGann was the least likely to be unfaithful to her husband.

  ‘He won’t listen to anyone, so I’ve decided to make a fresh start. I’m taking the children to my aunt in Dublin. That’s why I’ve come.’

  ‘Mary, that’s a bit drastic!’

  ‘I know, but I feel I can’t stay here any longer. What will you give me for this?’ She slipped her wedding ring off and placed it on the counter. ‘I don’t want to pledge it. I want to sell it.’

  He nodded slowly. She meant it, otherwise she would never have contemplated selling her ring. Things had to be very bad before the women actually sold their rings. He turned it over in his hand. It wasn’t a very expensive ring but he would give her more than its actual value.

  ‘I can give you two guineas. Let’s look on it as a loan. I’ll keep it; if you decide to
come back and you can pay me, then you can have it back.’

  ‘It’s not worth two guineas, you know it’s not!’ she protested.

  ‘I know it’s worth more than that to you, Mary. Take the money, you’ll need it.’

  Tears sprang to her eyes as she took the two gold coins. ‘Thank you, Mr Dalgleish. Someday I promise I’ll repay you, even if you’ve sold the ring.’

  ‘I won’t, Mary. You’re a good girl and you deserve better than him. Good luck to you and take care of those children.’

  ‘I will and God bless you for the kind, generous man you are.’

  He smiled wryly. ‘That’s an opinion some wouldn’t share, but thank you.’

  When she arrived home she found Nellie and Bella counting coins at the kitchen table.

  ‘Did yer post it then?’ Bella asked.

  ‘I did and on the way back I called into Uncle’s.’

  ‘Bella and me went round the neighbours and we’ve got ten shillings for you,’ Nellie announced.

  ‘It were only three and sixpence but Hetty made up the rest.’

  ‘Oh, everyone is so generous. Mr Dalgleish gave me two guineas for my ring. Two guineas! Can you believe it? And he says he’ll keep it for me.’

  ‘It’s the first time I ever ’eard of that auld skinflint payin’ over the odds,’ Bella said cuttingly.

  ‘He’s got a soft spot for Mary, always has had,’ Nellie stated.

  ‘So, that’s two pounds and twelve shillin’s altergether. ’Ow much will yer fares be?’ Bella asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I’ll have to find out then I can budget. If they’re not too expensive I should have enough to tide us over until I get work.’

  ‘When will yer tell the kids?’ Nellie asked.

  ‘When I hear from Aunty Molly. I . . . I’ll have to send them up to see Frank to say goodbye. He deserves that much.’

  ‘ ’E deserves nothing!’ Bella said grimly and Nellie nodded her agreement.

  Molly’s reply duly arrived and it put Mary’s mind at ease. They would all be very welcome if Mary was sure the life she’d known in Liverpool was really over, weren’t they all family after all? Only Rita and her family lived with her now, there would be plenty of room and she was certain Mary would find work. It was a pity that no one could meet them off the mail boat but they were all just so busy, but she would be sure of a very warm welcome just the same and anyone would tell her the way to the Coombe.

  Mary was apprehensive about telling the children and decided to try to make it sound like a kind of adventure. She hoped they wouldn’t be too upset about leaving Frank but ever since they’d been forced to leave none of them had even mentioned going to see their father.

  ‘I’ve got a surprise for you,’ she said brightly as she sat them down at the kitchen table.

  ‘What kind of a surprise?’ Katie asked cautiously. Life was very topsy-turvy these days and she didn’t like it at all.

  ‘We’re going to Ireland, to Dublin, to stay with my aunty Molly. Won’t it be great?’

  ‘Is it a holiday?’ Tommy asked enthusiastically. He thought it did sound great. These days life was always full of some excitement, even if it was a bit hectic.

  ‘Well, sort of.’

  ‘Is me da coming?’ Katie asked.

  Mary shook her head. ‘No, luv, he . . . he can’t. He has to stay here and work.’

  ‘Can’t he work there?’ Katie persisted.

  ‘Not really. His job is here.’

  ‘Will we be going on a boat?’ Tommy asked. He’d been down to the Pier Head and seen the ships and it had all looked thrilling.

  ‘Yes, we will and you’ll go to school there and make new friends and see all your cousins.’

  Katie looked doubtful. She had become really confused these last weeks as they moved from house to house, from family to family; she wasn’t sure she wanted to meet all these new cousins or Mam’s aunty Molly.

  ‘Oh, it will be fun! You’ll love it, I promise,’ Mary enthused.

  ‘What about Lizzie? Will she go to school too?’ Katie asked, glancing at her little sister who was watching them all intently.

  Mary gathered her little daughter to her. ‘Not at first. I’ll let her settle in; it will take her a bit longer.’ She stroked the child’s hair gently. ‘We’re going on a holiday, Lizzie,’ she said slowly. ‘On a big boat. Mam will tell you about it all later. Promise.’ Oh, poor Lizzie. How was she going to try to make the child understand these further changes in her life?

  ‘Will we go and say tarrah to me da?’ Tommy asked.

  ‘Of course you will.’

  Accepting the situation with his usual happy-go-lucky air, Tommy jumped up. ‘Can I go and tell me mates?’

  Mary smiled with relief. The children had taken the news better than she had dared hope. ‘Go on, but don’t be long.’

  Chapter Seven

  IN THE DAYS THAT followed Mary had little time to dwell on her decision or have regrets. She went down to the offices of the British and Irish Steamship Company and found out the price of the fare to Dublin. In all it would cost her fourteen shillings, which would leave her with one pound and eighteen shillings for their keep until she found work. She wished it were more but it couldn’t be helped.

  She had washed and ironed the few clothes they had; she had had Tommy’s boots mended and delivered a stern warning that there was to be no kicking the toes out of them as she had no money to have them repaired again: he would just have to make do and suffer wet and cold feet. She had managed to get Lizzie a warmer coat from Paddy’s Market for a few pence and Maggie had produced a pair of woollen mittens for each of them as a going-away present.

  ‘I’ll miss all of you,’ she’d said, wiping away a tear. The house was too quiet by far these days, she’d added, wishing for the thousandth time that Frank McGann would see what a fool he was being. She was also finding it much harder dealing with the laundry alone too.

  Mary knew Frank was aware that they were leaving but he hadn’t relented. She’d known in her heart that he wouldn’t. She didn’t expect him to come to see them off, either.

  ‘Well, it’s his loss!’ Nellie stated grimly as they prepared to accompany Mary and her family down to the Landing Stage barely a week later. ‘Did he say anything to them? Give them a couple of coppers?’ she asked Mary in a whisper after the children had returned from saying their farewells to their father.

  ‘No. Just, “Behave yourselves.” I can’t understand him, he seems to have no feelings at all for them.’

  ‘Well, pride comes before a fall, I always say. He’ll get his come-uppance one day, you wait and see. Now, are we all ready? We’re to meet in Hetty’s parlour. She’s coming as well.’

  Mary smiled. ‘It will be quite a send-off.’

  ‘We’ll all miss you, luv,’ Nellie said sadly, echoing Maggie’s distress.

  The Landing Stage was always busy; the ships of the B & I line and the Isle of Man Steam Packet Company were amongst many that embarked and disembarked their passengers there. It was a cold, dark and windy night as they pushed their way through the crowds towards the gangway.

  ‘I ’ope yer won’t all be seasick. It can be shockin’ rough once yer get out inter the bay, so ’Arry says,’ Bella remarked grimly.

  ‘Oh, trust you, Bella!’ Hetty Price said sharply. ‘Mary, take no notice. Get yourself a seat and then try and sleep. It’s the best way. If you can’t afford a cabin, that is.’

  ‘Hetty, I can only just afford the steerage fare! But we’ll be fine,’ Mary laughed, determined not to be put off. She also wanted to dispel the look of consternation that had come over Katie’s face.

  ‘Will yer aunty be there ter meet yer, luv?’ Queenie asked.

  ‘I don’t think so. She said they’d all be too busy.’

  ‘But yer do know where she lives?’

  ‘Of course. And I’ve a tongue in my head.’

  ‘Well, you’d better get aboard if you want to get a seat. It looks as
if it’s going to be a bit of a crush,’ Hetty advised, taking in the crowd around the gangway.

  Mary hugged them all in turn and then gathered her children to her. ‘Katie, keep tight hold of Lizzie’s hand and hang on to me. Tommy, you make sure you don’t lose that bundle and stay right behind me.’

  ‘Take care, Mary. Remember you promised to write each week and if things don’t go to plan you know you can always come back. There’ll always be a home for you here,’ Nellie said, giving her a last hug.

  There were tears in Mary’s eyes when she reached the bottom of the gangway, gave in their tickets and turned to wave a last goodbye. They had all been such good friends and she prayed she would find similar generosity and kindness on the other side of the Irish Sea.

  Hetty had been right, she thought as she looked around the packed saloon. There were wooden benches set in double rows bolted to the floor but certainly not enough for every passenger to find a seat. People were already settling down on the floor between the aisles. She noticed a space on one of the benches set against the bulkhead on the starboard side of the saloon and, pushing the children ahead of her, made her way towards it.

  ‘How many of you are there, girl?’ a large woman dressed in a tightly buttoned black coat and with a headscarf knotted under her chin asked kindly.

  ‘Four, but Lizzie can sit on my knee. Is there room, do you think? I don’t fancy a night on the floor.’

  ‘If I can get this lazy madam to move up there will be.’ The woman dug her elbow into the side of a thin, disagreeable-looking girl who sat beside her. ‘Shift up, Breda, there’s kids here!’ she instructed.

  Thankfully Mary sat down with Katie beside her and Tommy perched on the edge of the bench. She lifted Lizzie onto her knee and the child nestled into her, already sleepy.

  ‘She’s not a bit happy, you see. She doesn’t want to go home. She’s been staying with me but her mam’s sick, so she’s needed,’ the woman confided in a low voice, jerking her head in the direction of the sullen-faced girl.