Fools Rush In

by Lilliana Anderson

  “I’m guessing you’re here because the job is happening tonight?” Toby asked between scooping cereal and drinking coffee. He kept his head down and made little eye contact.

  At first Nate didn’t respond. He looked to Jasmine and tipped his head to indicate me instead.

  “She’s family too,” Jasmine said. “You can say anything in front of her. In fact, I’ve been teaching her how to handle receipts so she can help with the family holdings.”

  Nate lifted his brow. “Is that so? You’ve come a long way, Alesha.”

  The comment seemed condescending and made my cheeks burn. “I guess so,” I said. Learning how to run the business had become a point of pride with me. I’d picked it up quickly, and Jasmine said if I kept it up, she’d give me even more responsibility. I didn’t like the way Nate seemed to talk like I was just being a good little girl. That I wasn’t really contributing anything real.

  There was a brief moment where no one said anything, but Toby finally broke the silence. “Answer the bloody question,” he said to Nate. “Are we doing the job tonight or not?”

  “We leave tonight, yes,” Nate responded, grabbing a folded sheet of paper from the file sitting beside him. “We’ll be gone all weekend.”

  I looked to Sam. “I thought it was just overnight.”

  Sam’s hand found my knee. It would be the first time since we got married that we’d spend the night apart, and now it was going to be two. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I’d kind of gotten used to sleeping next to a man who hugged me like a child’s sleep aid.

  “So did I,” he said.

  “Change of plans,” Nate replied. “They had a breech in security, changed the location.”

  “Anything to do with our guy?” Sam asked.

  Nate shook his head. “He’s clean. Some guard had racked up some gambling debt, and they caught him trying to sell the idea to pawnbrokers.”

  Pawnbrokers. Did that mean jewels? I’d heard tiny whisperings about a truck transporting high-end merchandise. I hadn’t been filled in on the exact details, but no one had exactly been quiet around me. I took my chance and pretended I knew more than I did.

  “Isn’t it really risky to shift jewellery?” I asked. I caught Jasmine’s smile before she hid it behind her coffee mug. All eyes landed on me. “Well, isn’t it? It’s not like the electronics, furniture, and cars you usually take. Jewellery is more distinct.”

  Kris slung his arm over my shoulders. “Clever, this girl. A good fighter too. We should start bringing her on the smaller jobs. She’s got a knack for it.”

  “I’m fine for it,” Sam said with a lazy half grin. “I’d love to see her in action again. It’s hot.”

  “In action?” Nate asked, quirking his right brow.

  Abbot and Kristian happily filled him in—even though Abbot hadn’t been there—by alternating the highlights of our car re-steal between them.

  “Then she kicked him in the nuts and was all ‘you need a better boyfriend’ to the chick. It was epic,” Kristian finished.

  “OK,” Nate said. “If you want in, and everyone else wants you in, then you’re in. Just do me a solid and keep this all far away from Holland.”

  “You don’t trust her, bro?” Abbot asked, and Nate shook his head.

  “She just can’t handle it. She’s… sensitive.”

  Once again, Jasmine hid her expression behind her coffee mug. That time it was an eye roll.

  “You have my word,” I said to Nate. “I won’t breathe a word to Holland.” Given we rarely speak, that won’t be hard.

  “Thank you,” he replied before returning to the conversation he was having with his brothers. I couldn’t help but notice that my question about selling jewels had gone unanswered.

  Later that day, when the men had left, Jasmine filled me in. “We have a buyer who repackages and exports all the good jewellery we find. Our business has many arms, but you can look at us as a supplier of sorts. Electronics go one place, cars and parts go to another and so on. Each person involved operates their own business with its own risks. And we only share information with those we trust implicitly.”

  It was clever, what they did. No job was done without being thoroughly investigated and planned. Then everything they took went to someone else. All proceeds were filtered through legitimate businesses that were squeaky clean on the surface. Taxes were paid, and in the end, the Cartwrights appeared to be entrepreneurs. I had to admire their moxie. There weren’t a lot of people industrious enough to successfully do what they did.

  “Have any of you ever been caught?” I asked.

  “Besides Derek?”

  I nodded.

  “Nate went to juvi for joyriding. Sam doesn’t like talking about it but he did eighteen months about a decade ago. He went through a tough time in his early twenties. Got into the recreational drugs a little too heavy and was caught trying to steal a safe. The time away set him straight, and he hasn’t touched anything but alcohol since. I’m assuming he didn’t tell you?”

  I shook my head.

  “He should’ve. His time away is the reason they’re all so careful now. It’s not easy being the biggest guy in a place where everyone has something to prove.”

  I could imagine it would have been very hard. But something that was also hard was the realisation that I was learning more about my husband from his mother than I was from him. And the more she shared, the more I realised I didn’t know Sam at all. We rarely spent time alone outside the family group, and when we did, there wasn’t a lot of talking going on. We had a deep connection, I was sure of that much, but what would we be when the physical faded?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Trying To Change Him

  “I say we just order in some Chinese,” Jasmine suggested, looking through a drawer for menus. We’d been discussing what to do for dinner since it was just going to be three of us at home, with Holland staying with us while the men were away. Nate had made it clear that he wanted Holland kept in the dark about the deal, and I still wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t trust her. I knew from his family, from how they all related, that he should be someone I trusted, but there was something I wasn’t quite getting. Maybe he was just being protective of her. Maybe she really couldn’t handle knowing what they did. Maybe.

  “I like Chinese,” I said, sitting on a stool while I drew imaginary shapes on the counter.

  “What about Holland?”

  “She likes it too.”

  “Good. Then we’ll have Chinese and wine and spend some girl time without all that testosterone in the air.” Finding what she was looking for, she lifted it triumphantly.

  “Sure.” I may have added a slight shrug for dramatic effect. I wasn’t looking forward to an entire weekend with Holland, not when she kept going on about how perfect everything was between her and Nate, and I was starting to feel the cracks between me and Sam.

  For most of the day, I’d been trying to list all the things I knew about him. He was a criminal. He had a lot of respect for his family. He was easy on the eyes, and amazing between the sheets. An alpha male who was kind to me and made me feel wanted. He loved to surf. He was thoughtful, protective. He loved to eat. He worked hard and didn’t have much time for TV.

  Outside of that, I had no idea. I didn’t know about his upbringing. I didn’t know about his school life. I didn’t know about any girls before me—had he broken their hearts, or had they broken his? Where had he lived before he returned here with me? I didn’t know about his hopes and dreams. I didn’t even know whether he preferred books or movies, chocolate or vanilla, beer or spirits. I could take a guess at some things, but we were missing that whole ‘getting to know you’ phase of a relationship. We met. We got married. And then we just floated along, sustained by the fact that we were attracted to each other.

  But desire faded, right? And when that went, what would be left? Surfing? Living in the same house? Stealing shit together? What would become of us as a couple? If i
t turned out we couldn’t have kids at all, what would remain? Would he begin to think that there was no more point in fucking me?

  “You’re not looking forward to your friend coming over for the weekend?” Jasmine asked, looking at me with kind and understanding eyes. She’d been trying so hard to be good to Holland. Since her initial outburst at the wedding, she’d gone out of her way to be pleasant and inclusive, but Holland was blocking her attempts at every turn with short answers and an air of nonchalance. Seeing that kind of behaviour from her piled on top of my own disenchantment with our friendship. So no, I wasn’t looking forward to spending time with her at all.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  Jasmine laid the Chinese menu on the counter between us. “Doesn’t take a genius to see something is going on with you two.”

  “I just don’t think she’s the person I thought she was,” I admitted.

  “What kind of a person was that?”

  “My friend. Someone who cared about me.”

  “Why do you think she doesn’t care?”

  “Because it’s always about her. Very rarely about me. I think it’s always been that way, but I’ve only really noticed it since the wedding.” I took a breath as I clasped my hands together. “You know, this may seem silly, and maybe I’m imagining it, but it feels like she was so sure I’d be unhappy living here and marrying Sam that she’s disappointed that I’m not. And that makes me wonder if our entire friendship has been somewhat based on the fact that she felt sorry for me because I’ve always been so awkward and pitiful.”

  “You think the fact that you’ve come out of your shell is too confronting for her?”

  I nodded. “I think so.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “I can see how you’d think that way.”

  “So I don’t sound crazy and selfish?”

  “Not at all. But I am going to ask you to try your best to put those feelings aside. It’s so important that all Cartwrights get along so we can work together in absolute trust. I reacted terribly towards her, especially at the wedding. I tend to shoot off before I think, you know that. But she’s important to Nate, so I don’t want to alienate her and risk alienating Nate too. He’s the backbone of this family. We need him and can’t jeopardise our family or our working relationship. Do you understand?”

  Releasing a sigh, I pulled at my lip and nodded. “I can do that.”

  With a big smile, she placed her hands on top of mine and squeezed. “That’s my girl. We’ll have fun this weekend, you’ll see.”

  Sure we would. About as much fun as a thick splinter in my left butt cheek.

  Toby dropped Holland off, then went to stay on his boat for the night. He’d cited not wanting to get in the way of girls’ night as his excuse, but he’d acted far too strangely around Holland in the past for her presence not to be the reason he was bowing out.

  “Nate dropped off an overnight bag for you earlier, Holland. It’s in the guest room just off the rumpus,” Jasmine said when Holland walked inside, still dressed up from her teaching job. She’d always been fond of wearing flared pencil skirts with blouses and colourful cardigans while she twisted her long blonde hair into a bun on top of her head. She looked stylish and put together, as usual.

  “Thank you,” she said, her lips tight. Then she looked to me. “Hey, Leesh. Nice to see you.”

  “We’re ordering Chinese, and there’s plenty of wine,” I told her.

  She nodded and excused herself, not leaving the guest bedroom until the doorbell rang to signal the food had arrived.

  “Your fashion has changed a lot,” Holland commented as we sat around sharing fried rice, sweet and sour pork, satay chicken and Mongolian beef. I was also munching on the prawn crackers.

  I looked down at my outfit, a pair of navy Spanish pants with a leafy design on them that I’d bought from Tree of Life, and a fitted long-sleeve shirt from Target. My hair had grown past my shoulders and was slightly wavy from all the time I spent in the surf, and I’d given up applying much make-up because I didn’t feel the need for it anymore.

  “I’m just trying new things, I guess.”

  She smiled a little as she finished a mouthful of food. “I’m just not used to it, but it looks good. Very boho chic. You’re so tan.”

  “It’s all the time she spends at the beach with the boys,” Jasmine put in.

  Holland just nodded and went back to eating.

  The rest of dinner was much of the same. Every conversation starter fizzled out before it could get started because no one really wanted to be talking at all. I was relieved when Jasmine told me to stay where I was once we finished, that she and Holland could tidy up. I overheard them planning a day together of shopping and spa treatments.

  When Jasmine walked back into the room and excused herself for bed, I mouthed, “Thank you,” and she gave me a wink to say I was welcome. I couldn’t even begin to explain the weight lifted off my shoulders at the idea of having a day to myself. It had been so long.

  “Wow. Did you hear any of that?” Holland asked, coming to sit with me on the couch.

  “I did. A girls’ day out, huh?”

  “I don’t know whether to be upset, worried or curious.” She tucked her legs beneath her and picked up her wine glass.

  “You could try being happy. Jasmine isn’t half bad when you get to know her.”

  She scoffed, sliding her hand over the fabric of her sweatpants as she sipped her drink. “I can’t promise much, but I can promise to go in with an open mind. You aren’t upset you’re not coming, are you?”

  “Me? No, not at all. I’m looking forward to a little quiet,” I said with a smile, watching as Holland leaned forwards and picked up the TV remote, clicking through to the apps and pulling up Netflix. It took her to the sign-up page.

  “Do they seriously not have Netflix?” she asked, looking shocked beyond belief.

  “They don’t really sit around watching TV at all.”

  “What do you do all day since you aren’t working? Stare at the wall and masturbate?”

  “I help out, surf, swim, read. There’s plenty to do.”

  “Let’s see if this still works.” She keyed in her username and password, then smiled when it logged her in. “Yes. Now we can watch that baking show where they mess everything up. I hear it’s hilarious.”

  As the show loaded, I took a large gulp of wine, letting the alcohol dull my senses a little. This was it. This had been the extent of our friendship—basic conversation and binge-watching TV while we waited for our lives to start.

  No wonder we were drifting apart now. We were finally living.

  “Good morning, milady. I’m here to escort you to the surfy bumpy water.”

  I giggled when Toby bowed dramatically. He was waiting outside against my van when I went out the next morning.

  “Plus I have your board in the van, right?” I asked, hitting the key fob to unlock it.

  “This is true. I do have spares, but that one’s my favourite, and surfing is better with company, right?”

  “Are you our babysitter this weekend?”

  “What gave you that impression?”

  I shrugged. “You were going but then you stayed behind. You drove Holland here instead of her driving herself. You’re standing here instead of going straight to the beach yourself. Do I need to list more?”

  His shoulders slumped a little as he released his breath. “Fine. Nate asked me to hang back and keep an eye on Holland. They’ve been having a few problems lately, and he’s worried about her.”

  I folded my arms. “What kind of problems?”

  “It’s not my place to say.”

  “Are they having problems with each other?” Holland had been so adamant that they were crazy in love. Had her bravado just been a cover for her own misery?

  “I really can’t tell you.”

  I held my key fob up and locked my van. “Then maybe we don’t go surfing.”

  “Jesus, Leesh. That’s harsh, espec
ially for you.”

  “I can’t be Miss Nice Girl all the time. Spill.”

  “No.”

  Well, I’d give him one thing, he was a man of his word.

  “Then I’ll guess.” It wouldn’t be hard. I’d known Holland all my life.

  “I still won’t tell.”

  “You won’t have to. I’ll be able to tell from your eyes.”

  He laughed at that. “Because my eyes talk for me, do they?”

  “Everyone’s do.” I adjusted my stance so I could look more closely into his eyes, and he adjusted his to assist—as if he didn’t believe I’d know the confirmation when I saw it. “Is it trouble in their relationship?” He kept staring at me, nothing in his eyes but a challenge. OK, that’s not it. “Is it because Holland wants to keep working?” Still nothing. I needed to dive a little deeper. “Is it because she doesn’t like kids?” Holland had made it clear to me on more than one occasion that she and rug rats didn’t go together. She could only handle kids when they were almost adult-size, which was why she became a high school teacher instead of primary.

  There was a tiny flicker in Toby’s eyes, but after scrutinising it for a moment, I decided it was more curiosity than confirmation. “Oh God, is she pregnant?” I hoped not, since she’d guzzled so much wine the night before. I knew she didn’t want kids but that was just negligent, not to mention hurtful to me. She knew I couldn’t conceive.

  Toby’s expression softened, and he placed his hand on my forearm. “She’s not pregnant.”

  A relieved breath escaped my chest. I didn’t even realise I was holding it. “OK.” I closed my eyes, feeling a little crappy over my selfish reaction. “Well, what else is there? I’ve covered them all: the relationship, her job, pregnancy…. Oh, what about Nate’s job?” His pupils dilated and his jaw ticked. “She wants him to quit working and he won’t. That’s it, isn’t it?” I found that kind of crazy when she knew exactly who he was when she chased him down and fucked him again. Just like me, she entered the relationship with open eyes. So why was she trying to separate him from his family?