Starlight

by Alexandra Richland

  Aidan’s return flight to L.A. was booked for the day of Beth’s premiere, which worked out well because the next day she was taking the train to Boston anyway. Even though he was desperate to talk to her, and flew out to New York in hopes of seeing her, he drew the line at following her around the country for weeks. This meant he had to act quickly if he wanted to set things right with her before she left.

  He didn’t bring many belongings with him on his trip because he had everything he needed at his apartment—a studio space on the fourth floor of a walkup just a few steps from Central Park West. He had wired his landlord money every month from California, using his advance from the studio so he would always have a place to return to if Hollywood didn’t work out.

  On Aidan’s journey east, he thought about his future in the movie industry. Although he didn’t enjoy living in L.A. or working on the Starlight Studios lot, depending on how things went with Beth, he decided he might stick around for one more film. For this reason, he took over the lease for his Hollywood apartment from the studio, since they were no longer obligated to pay for it following the completion of Spike Rollins. Now that Mr. Mertz paid the rest of his salary for his work on the film, he had more than enough money to rent places on both coasts.

  Mr. Mertz told Nathan that Aidan could pick any studio project he wanted because, ultimately, the box office success of Spike Rollins overshadowed any disdain the studio boss felt toward him. Therefore, if he did decide to stay out west temporarily, at least he would have the option of choosing his own work. Either way, he had to figure out what his next gig was, and soon. He was eager to act again.

  When Aidan told Nathan about his plans to travel to New York for a few days, his friend didn’t ask any questions. In fact, Nathan checked a copy of Beth’s schedule and told Aidan where she was staying in the city as well as where she was headed next, without him having to ask.

  Nathan didn’t mention Aidan’s behavior at the Spike Rollins premiere or treat him any differently, which was a relief. Aidan even had dinner with Matthew before he left, by the singer’s invitation, and they had a good time. In a city full of façades, he was proud to count those two guys as true friends.

  Aidan’s first airplane ride was exciting, and talking to Preston helped pass the time, but on his flight to New York, time dragged. Out of desperation, he flipped through a film magazine offered to him by a flight attendant to prevent from checking his watch repeatedly. He just made sure to skip the items written about him.

  Inside, Aidan came across a color pinup of Beth, where she window-shopped along an urban city street, which was obviously set up on the studio backlot, given the lack of garbage and sewer grates—details he knew only Mr. Mertz’s people would overlook. Aidan skimmed through the accompanying article and read a few interesting items, but his goal was to find out more from her directly, not through some entertainment rag.

  During the flight, he also wrote Beth a note that included his New York telephone number, how long he was in town for, and his desire to talk to her, preferably in person. He decided to drop the note off at her hotel and allow her to contact him when she had the time. He didn’t want to force her to talk to him if she was too busy or uninterested. After he left her on the street the night of his premiere, he wouldn’t have blamed her if she tore up the letter and didn’t respond, but he felt he had to try.

  Taking the steps two at a time, Aidan arrived at the fourth floor of the walk-up and entered his studio apartment, which somehow looked much smaller than he remembered. He threw his bag and keys onto the couch, sat down, and lit a cigarette. The cushions didn’t offer much padding, but were still comfortable. He stacked his feet on the coffee table and felt the tension from his travels seep from his body, leaving him feeling relaxed and content. It was good to be home.

  As he surveyed the worn hardwood floors, lack of natural light, and bare walls, however, he thought the decor looked somewhat depressing—something he never considered before now. His bed sat in the corner of the room, consisting of a shabby mattress on a black frame with no headboard or footboard. His dark sheets were unmade and crumpled from the last time he slept there, and an indent of his head was still visible in his feather pillow.

  As he stared at the bed, he tried to picture Beth lying down with him, wrapped in his arms, but the reality seemed implausible. The issue was that despite his comfort here, his apartment was actually uninviting—the type of place unworthy of a visit from her. He wouldn’t feel right holding her, kissing her, and in the culmination of his fantasies, making love to her, in such a ratty place.

  Aidan took a slow drag on his cigarette, well aware he was getting ahead of himself. He did note some minor changes he would like to make to the place, though, once he returned for a longer visit—and eventually, permanently. Most importantly, since he now had the money, he wanted to arrange to have his mother’s piano transported from his father’s house in Chicago to the apartment. The instrument would crowd the small room, but he was determined to make it work.

  Aidan’s eyelids drooped. To combat his exhaustion, he got up off the couch, walked to the small kitchen area in the corner, and turned on a light. It still wasn’t bright enough, but every little bit helped. Unfortunately, opening the blinds wouldn’t do any good because the one barred window in the room faced the brick wall of the building next door.

  Aidan decided that stopping by Beth’s hotel and delivering his note would help him fight his fatigue the best. He tossed his cigarette into the toilet in the tiny bathroom off the main room, and on his way out, caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked worn and tired with his heavy-lidded eyes and hair that stuck up in every direction, but that was nothing new.

  After leaving the bathroom, he rifled through his duffel bag and pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans, a navy blue T-shirt, and his dark gray and black plaid jacket. He changed clothes, grabbed his cigarettes and keys from the couch, and his wallet and Beth’s note from his other pants. Then he left his apartment.

  Aidan jogged to the subway, excited by the prospect of seeing Beth sometime in the next few days, even if it was only briefly. After riding downtown, he resurfaced to street level and came face to face with a poster advertising Spike Rollins. Out of habit and not ego, he darted his eyes around, hoping no one made the connection. His face broke out into a large grin when not one person in the crowd paid him any bother.

  Lacking the patience to walk up to the lights, Aidan dodged traffic and jaywalked across the street to Beth’s hotel, where he was welcomed with a smile from the doorman. He entered the marble lobby and made a beeline for the reception desk.

  A gentleman greeted him as though he belonged, despite his casual attire, which greatly contrasted the elegant décor and dress of other patrons. “Good afternoon, sir, can I help you?”

  Aidan reached into the back pocket of his jeans. “Yeah, I’m looking for someone. I have an urgent note to drop off, and I was wondering if you’d deliver it for me.”

  “Who is the letter for?”

  Aidan perched his forearm on the counter and leaned forward. “Elizabeth Sutton. She’s a guest here.”

  “You mean, Miss Elizabeth Sutton from the Sparkling Meadow film company?”

  Aidan extended the note to him. “That’s her.”

  The desk clerk frowned. “I’m sorry, sir, but we had a guest visiting from London, who booked the entire top floor of our hotel. She asked for an extension on her stay, which left no available rooms for Miss Sutton and the others. After explaining the situation, they kindly agreed to move to one of our partner hotels.”

  Aidan shoved the note back into his pocket. “Which one?”

  “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to divulge that information.”

  Aidan drummed his fingers on the countertop, wondering what to do now.

  The desk clerk cleared his throat. “Will that be all for today, sir?”

  Aidan noticed a lineup of people behind him, waiting to speak to reception. He stepped
aside and decided to call Nathan from his apartment to inquire into the name of Beth’s new hotel. Taking into account the time difference, though, Nathan wouldn’t arrive home from work for a while.

  As Aidan took off across the hotel lobby and exited onto Broadway, he came up with the perfect idea to pass the next few hours.

  Chapter Forty

  Gordon dropped Beth off directly in front of the Actors Studio, as instructed, amidst honking horns and shouts from disgruntled drivers. She arranged to meet him in the same spot in just over an hour and walked up to the front doors. The brick building was very unassuming. If not for the inconspicuous plaque mounted near the entrance, Beth never would’ve guessed this was the correct place—although, she felt no less intimidated.

  Taking a deep breath, she pulled open one large wooden door and stepped inside a room that seemed to serve as a front desk, lobby, and lounge, all in one. Tentatively, she walked upstairs, figuring that was where she had to go, and entered a large room with many black fold-up chairs situated in neat rows. At the front, a rectangular table accompanied by two chairs faced an empty space and the far wall. The room was crowded with people who stood around chatting. Some Beth recognized as famous actors and actresses, but she didn’t know most of them. She scanned the crowd for Patricia. She stood off to the side, talking to another woman.

  A door opened near the front of the room, and everyone quickly grabbed the nearest seat, as though they were playing musical chairs and the music had stopped. Beth caught up with Patricia just in time to occupy the vacant seat next to her on the aisle in the middle of the room. Within seconds of sitting down, the room fell silent.

  Patricia turned to Beth and smiled, signaling for her to keep quiet. Beth nodded, removed her coat, and focused ahead at the two middle-aged men who had entered and drawn everyone’s attention.

  “Good afternoon, students, my name is Lee Strasberg,” the first man announced. “For the next hour, you will be partaking in our interactive acting workshop. For those of you here as guests, please be respectful of the performers, but also mind our no clapping rule. Thank you.”

  Beth sat up straighter in her seat to get a better look at Mr. Strasberg. She caught only a glimpse of him before he sat down, his back facing the crowd.

  The second man prepared to address the audience. He was average in stature and lean, with a thin face, long nose, and thick, short black hair.

  “Hey, folks.” His manner seemed friendlier than Mr. Strasberg’s. “As most of you know already, I’m Elia Kazan. Today you’ll be observing your classmates in revolving performance exercises. Can I have the first two volunteers, please?”

  Beth’s eyes widened. She felt honored to be in the presence of such a world-renowned and talented Broadway and film director like Mr. Kazan.

  Several people raised their hands and he selected one man and one woman to come up to the front. The actor that stepped up was very handsome with brown hair and a slim build. He was dressed casually in a white sport shirt and tan trousers. The woman was petite with black hair and a fair complexion. Beth leaned forward in her seat. She had never heard of revolving performances before and was interested in learning what they involved.

  Mr. Kazan handed out sheets to the two performers, a script Beth assumed, and they scanned them for about a minute, after which Mr. Strasberg announced that the scene would begin. The chosen performers played the roles of brother and sister, mourning the recent loss of their beloved mother. They recited their lines mostly from memory, even though they held their scripts. The man had a deep, commanding voice and a theatrical delivery. Beth found his performance captivating and very realistic.

  “That’s Paul Newman,” Patricia whispered, jutting her chin toward the actor.

  Beth kept her voice low. “He’s very good.”

  “He’s currently starring in Picnic at the Music Box Theater.”

  Beth nodded, keeping her eyes focused on the front. She noted that in contrast to Paul, the woman acting opposite him seemed unsure of her performance, since her meek voice possessed a tremor.

  When the scene ended, the two performers looked to Mr. Strasberg and Mr. Kazan for appraisal. As instructed, no one applauded. Beth wondered why the Actors Studio had that rule. As she surveyed the audience, she noticed that many of them, including Patricia, held pencils and notebooks.

  Beth wished she’d brought some notepaper with her, too, for she was certain the lessons she learned today would be extremely helpful upon her return to L.A. She could only hope she remembered the main points, so she could write them down when she got back to her hotel.

  Mr. Kazan and Mr. Strasberg commented on what the two performers did well, critiqued other parts of the scene, and told them what they could have done better. Overall, they came to the agreement that Paul, and the actress they called Marjorie, had done an effective job.

  “Okay, thank you both. Paul, stay up there. Marjorie, take your seat.” Mr. Kazan stood and faced the crowd. “Can I have another female volunteer?”

  Beth began to get an idea what a revolving performance exercise was all about. Glancing around the room, she noticed there weren’t many hands up this time.

  Mr. Kazan walked up her aisle. “Come on, isn’t there someone, aside from all of the usual participants, who would care to join Mr. Newman up at the front?” His shoes echoed off the worn parquet floors as he continued his trek in Beth’s direction. He stopped next to her chair. “How about you?”

  Beth swallowed hard. “Me?”

  He nodded.

  Beth heard a few chuckles throughout the room. “B-but I’m not a member. I’m just a guest.”

  Mr. Kazan raised his eyebrows. “But you must have an interest in acting. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”

  Beth opened her mouth to speak.

  “Come on, you’ll do just fine.” Mr. Kazan gripped her elbow, encouraging her to stand.

  Lacking an excuse not to participate, Beth rose from her seat and handed Patricia her purse. Her legs shook and her heart raced as she followed Mr. Kazan up to the front and took her script. After watching Paul and Marjorie perform their scene with their scripts in hand, she assumed she had that option as well, which was a relief; she was certain she would make a fool of herself if she had to improvise or commit the lines to memory.

  According to the script, Paul and Beth were husband and wife, quarreling about Beth going over her weekly allowance after buying an expensive hat. It was very similar to a Lucy and Ricky moment, except without the comedy.

  Paul smiled and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you. The name’s Paul.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Beth shook his hand timidly, astonished by how blue his eyes were. “My name’s Elizabeth.”

  They faced the audience. Beth’s cheeks burned as she awaited Mr. Kazan and Mr. Strasberg’s instructions. Although Starlight Studios was world-renowned for its galaxy of beautiful stars, she felt the Actors Studio, even with its modest headquarters, was a much more prestigious organization. She viewed this performance as the most important one of her career thus far.

  “All right, Miss …”

  It took Beth a moment to realize Mr. Strasberg was talking to her.

  “Sutton.” Her soft voice echoed throughout the quiet room.

  “Miss Sutton, I know this is a new experience for you. Just try your best.”

  The instructor’s underwhelming advice did nothing to calm her nerves.

  Beth’s part called for her to act somewhat submissive toward her husband because she was only a housewife and he was the one who made all of the money and balanced the books in their household. At the same time, she had to stand her ground during their argument and try to reason with him. It was a difficult task. To help her, she thought about her confrontation with Aidan on the night of his premiere and how she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, even though he had the reputation of being moody and intimidating.

  She chose to draw upon that personal past experience during her scene
because she knew that Method acting was about relying on one’s true emotions in order to present a realistic performance. To prepare, she thought about what she would do in this particular situation in reality, because her character was supposedly an extension of herself. She just had to remember not to call Paul, Aidan, and hopefully, the technique would work.

  Mr. Strasberg announced for Beth and Paul to begin. Beth played her role with the amount of passion she felt proper, and made use of the space at the front. By the time the heated scene concluded and she set down her script, she felt as though she really had fought with her spouse. As she remained at the front of the room, waiting for the instructors’ evaluation, Paul leaned into her ear.

  “Excellent job, kid,” he whispered. “How come I’ve never seen you ’round here before?”

  Beth smiled in relief. She was about to respond, when Mr. Kazan cleared his throat.

  “Paul, the way you towered over Miss Sutton was especially valuable in helping you assert your control. Your voice sounded confident as you maintained eye contact and reaffirmed who the boss in your household is.”

  Beth didn’t dare look anywhere else except at the instructors, but the sound of pencils scratching across paper indicated the students jotted down notes.

  “The part where you improvised by walking over to the table and leafing through a magazine during her rebuttal was brilliant, Paul,” Mr. Kazan continued. “It showed her you didn’t give a damn about what she had to say because it didn’t matter—your words are the law in your household and she has to know her place. You make the money, therefore it’s yours to control, not hers. In the end, I believe you effectively proved your point that her extravagances would not be tolerated.”

  Mr. Strasberg spoke next. “I agree with Gadg, Paul. You displayed your dominance very well. I would like to add that when Miss Sutton walked over to the corner and turned her back on you while you were still speaking, you may have wanted to follow her, to reinforce that the discussion wasn’t over.”