Starlight

by Alexandra Richland

  Aidan arched his eyebrows. “Marie?”

  “My real name is Marie Bates. I had to change it when I signed my Starlight Studios contract.”

  Aidan frowned. “And you were okay with that?”

  “At first it was weird, but I got used to it pretty quickly. The way I figure it is I’ll always be Marie Bates, regardless of what I’m called professionally.”

  Aidan nodded. “That makes sense, I guess.”

  Beth smiled. “My mother baked me an apple pie and brought it to the screening. Will Everett made fun of me, but I thought it was a wonderful gesture. I’ve really missed her home cooking.”

  Aidan cast a pensive gaze toward the city. “My mother used to make delicious apple pie.”

  Beth perked up at the mention of his mother. “She did?”

  “Yeah, with extra thick crust and cinnamon.” His frown returned.

  Beth pulled his suit jacket tighter around her body. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to pry.”

  Aidan was quiet for a moment. “It’s all right.”

  A chilly breeze blew through the hills above and swooped down around them. Streams of dust snaked across the gravel. Beth huddled into Aidan’s jacket and began to wonder how much longer they would be here. Just as the evening’s chill settled on her, he brushed his hand to her cheek, sending a wave of heat across her skin.

  “Beth, I like you much more than just a friend. I’ve liked you since the first moment I saw you.”

  Beth’s heart raced. “I like you more than a friend, too.”

  Aidan took her in his arms. “Thank you for leaving the party with me.”

  Beth returned his embrace, linking her hands behind his neck. “There’s no place else I’d rather be than here with you.”

  Aidan leaned in closer, his eyes lit with the desire to close the gap between their lips.

  Beth’s feelings for him trumped her doubts over her inexperience with intimacy. She parted her lips, waiting.

  Waiting …

  “Beth, I …” Aidan winced and let go of her abruptly, dragging his hands through his hair as he increased the distance between them. “Before this goes any further, you need to know some things about me first.”

  Beth dropped her arms to her sides, trying valiantly not to blame herself for the sudden change in his behavior. “I––I don’t understand.”

  Aidan wouldn’t look at her, but by the grace of the moon she saw that his eyes brimmed with tears. “You know how you told me about your folks and how much you love and miss them?”

  Beth swallowed hard. “Yes.”

  Aidan kept his eyes off of her as he elaborated. “Well, I’ve mentioned my mother before, but I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t like to talk about my father.”

  “Well, yes. But I didn’t think it was my place to––”

  “My father’s name is Graham. He’s a medical doctor.” Aidan’s posture took on a tense edge. “When I was growing up, I could never make him proud of me. He wanted me to be all these things I wasn’t capable of and we never really got along.

  “When I was younger, he thought I’d follow in his footsteps and become a physician. The problem was I was never good in school. Plus, I saw how often his job kept him away from home and I swore to myself I’d never do that to my family, even if I was smart enough and able to get some fancy college degree.”

  Aidan exhaled a shaky breath. “After my mother died, my Pop remarried––our neighbor, Betty. When I was eighteen, he accepted a job at a reputable hospital in Chicago and I followed him because I had no idea what else to do at the time.

  “After high school, I never continued my education. Things were always tense around my father’s house, but they got even worse after that. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left for New York and haven’t seen or spoken to him since.”

  “Do you know if your father has watched Spike Rollins?” Beth asked. “Even if he hasn’t, I bet he’s very proud of you and doesn’t care you didn’t become a doctor. Why don’t you reach out to him? It’s never too late.”

  “It doesn’t matter if my Pop saw Spike Rollins or not.” Aidan paced back and forth, the disdain for his father stamped on his face. “Our contention was rooted way before the whole not going to college thing. It’s more complicated than that––much worse. He blames me for …”

  “For what?”

  Aidan stopped walking. “For my mother’s murder.”

  Beth gasped. “Murder?”

  “I’ve never told anyone … about my nightmares.” Tears spilled from his eyes. He covered his face with his forearm and swung his body away from her, expelling a muffled curse.

  “Nightmares? What nightmares?” Beth took an imploring step toward him. “Aidan, I’m here for you. I can help you. Just please tell me the truth about what’s bothering you.”

  Aidan let out a strangled cry and dropped his arm, his eyes blazing.

  “You want the truth? Here’s the truth.” He stormed toward her, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “When I was ten years old, my mother was attacked by a man who knocked on our front door, offering to do work around the house in return for some food. My mother invited this man into our home and he repaid her by butchering her!”

  “That monster left her for dead and I was so terrified I could only watch her bleed and scream in pain. I couldn’t even pick up the goddamn telephone to call for help, let alone run to the neighbor’s house. The guilt I carry because of my cowardice has haunted me ever since.”

  “Guilt?” Beth looked at him incredulously. “But you were only a child!”

  Aidan jutted his thumb toward his chest. “When my father was at work, I was the man of the house. It was my responsibility to look after her––mine––and I failed.”

  “Is this the reason for the drastic change in your appearance since I saw you in New York? You look like you haven’t slept well lately.”

  Aidan let out a humorless laugh. “I haven’t slept properly in years, Beth, not weeks.”

  “But you seemed all right before.”

  “I was coping—barely—but enough to get by. The problem is things have gotten much worse since I left you in New York and I’m unable to handle it anymore. Acting usually provides me with some relief but I’m not tied to a project right now. Heck, even filming Spike Rollins didn’t provide the solace I hoped it would. The script hit too close to home.”

  Beth recalled his despair in the commissary after his incident on set and on the evening of the premiere. “Because as Spike you saved your brother, but in real life you couldn’t save your mother.”

  Aidan sank to his knees, his shoulders hunching like a marionette without strings. “Beth, I’m so sorry. I should’ve opened up to you sooner. Instead, I led you to believe I’m good enough for you, but the truth is, I’m nothing but a coward.” He grabbed the suit jacket she wore so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I’m down here to beg for your forgiveness for not being upfront with you from the beginning.”

  Beth cupped his cheek in her palm and brushed her thumb across his damp skin, wiping away his tears. “You don’t have to beg me for anything. You’re a good man. Gentle and kind––”

  “Stop trying to see the good in me. Don’t you understand?” Aidan extended his arms in front of him, his palms turned to the sky. “Her blood is on my hands!”

  Beth came down on her knees and wrapped her arms around him, conveying her unwavering support through her embrace. “You need to listen to me, Aidan. Your mother passed away as the result of the act of a horrible man, not you. As a child, it was not your responsibility to protect her, which also means you’re not as bad as you think you are. In fact, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You dealt with a very traumatic experience yet you’ve still managed to make a success of yourself. Your mother would be so proud of you. As for your father––”

  Aidan tensed.

  “––if he does blame you for her death, he’s completely out of line.”

&
nbsp; Beth thought of a few more words she wanted to say about his father for placing the blame on him when he was only a boy, but she was a lady and such comments were too vulgar to say aloud.

  “I don’t deserve you, but I can’t stay away from you.” Aidan bowed his head and released a heart-wrenching sob. “My nightmares are so awful. I try everything I can not to fall asleep, because when I do, there’s no escaping them. I recall the happiness my mother and I shared before that monster arrived on our doorstep and everything that followed. Everything.”

  Beth cradled his head to her chest and stroked his hair. “You don’t need to stay away from me. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this. I promise.”

  Aidan’s body shook as he finally let his tears fall. All Beth could do was hold him, praying he could feel the truth behind her words; how there would never be another man for her but him.

  Minutes passed before she felt the tension ease from his body and his crying stopped.

  He propped his chin on top of her head, his uneven breaths toying with her hair. “I have to go back east, to Connecticut, to meet with Gadg about a new script––a boxing film he’s going to film here in L.A. If I know you’re waiting for me when I return, I can deal with anything while we’re apart.” He pulled back and took her hands in his. “Beth, what I’m saying is, I’d be honored if you’d agree to be my steady girl.”

  “Yes, of course I’ll be your girl!”

  Aidan’s mouth lifted into a grin that reached his eyes, eroding the pain that had haunted them. Beth didn’t know where they would go from here. What did she possess that could help Aidan exorcise such dark thoughts and fight for a brighter future? A lifetime of remorse and hatred lived inside him, hardened like broken bones healed crookedly. What else could be done but break them again and reset them properly? This time, she would offer the love and support he never had to help him grow whole again.

  As Aidan stood and pulled her into his arms, she read the desire to kiss her all over his face. Before she could give it another thought, he bent his head and his lips met hers. At first, she froze, unsure of what to do or how to please him, but when he used his tongue to tease her mouth open, she came alive.

  With a whimper, she spread her fingers behind his neck and moved her hand up into his hair, closing her eyes and kissing him back with all the passion and tenderness her feelings for him generated. Her heart fluttered so rapidly, she thought she’d fly away. The softness of his lips, his tongue … the careful way he held her … his urgent yet gentle pace; kissing him was everything she’d dreamed it would be and so much more.

  The twinkling lights of the city below them burned like a million tiny candles. She could be the escape Aidan needed. She had no idea how, but she knew if he had any hope of leaving the darkness, she would be his guiding light. There in the blackness of the Hollywood Hills, she felt a flame ignite within her.

  Aidan dropped his forehead to hers, their ragged breaths warming the air between their lips. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

  She brought her hand to his cheek. “You’ll never have to find out.”

  Aidan wrapped his arms around her from behind and she rested her head back against his chest, her lips lifted in a smile, the twinkling lights of L.A. at her feet. Aidan had severe issues they’d have to contend with upon his return from Connecticut, but right now, she just wanted to enjoy their time together, as though they didn’t have a care in the world.

  ***

  As Aidan looked down at the city of angels with the most glorious angel of all cradled in his arms, he wished he’d opened up months ago. He still couldn’t believe Beth wasn’t horrified by his past and had agreed to go steady with him––it all seemed too easy––but he’d do everything in his power to make sure she never regretted her decision.

  He didn’t expect his guilt to ever go away, but felt if he had Beth in his life and she stayed with him, knowing the whole truth about his past, he could deal with anything. The only remaining obstacle was to keep their relationship a secret from Mr. Mertz until he could come up with a plan to free her from her studio contract and not harm her career in the process.

  Aidan closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Beth relaxing so trustingly in his arms and grateful for the opportunity to be the man she deserved and depended on.

  Without warning, a vision of a woman lying in a pool of blood flashed before him. The image was familiar, except this time it was Beth’s face twisted in agony, eyes wide and pleading for his help, not his mother’s.

  His eyes shot open.

  Beth craned her neck and looked up at him. “Is anything wrong?”

  He mustered up a grin. “No, everything is perfect.”

  Beth smiled and returned her gaze to the city.

  Aidan dropped his lips to the top of her head and tightened his arms around her, declaring a silent, steadfast vow that tamed his frantic pulse and caged all of his doubts. No matter what, he would never fail her like he’d failed his mother.

  Starbright (Book #2 of the Starlight Trilogy)

  Coming Soon

  Chapter One

  Elizabeth Sutton wiped her hands on her apron and opened the oven door to check on the Thanksgiving turkey. The squash, green beans, stuffing, and potatoes sat on the stovetop on low heat. Her homemade apple pie was in the icebox.

  Beth and her roommate, Olivia Weston, had invited their friends, actress Constance Murphy, and her famous crooning beau, Matthew McKenna, over for dinner. They also expected their respective beaux, actor Aidan Evans and Nathan Taggart, the Executive Assistant to Mr. Luther Mertz, the founder and head of Starlight Motion Picture Studios.

  It had been over three weeks since Beth last saw Aidan and she wanted to welcome him back to Los Angeles with a hearty home-cooked meal and an evening of relaxation and good conversation. Aidan told her how much he loved apple pie on Halloween, so she baked one for dessert tonight. She didn’t expect to compete with his mother’s recipe, but hoped he would still enjoy it.

  While Aidan stayed at director Elia Kazan’s Connecticut home to work on the pre-production details for their upcoming boxing drama, Golden Gloves, he called Beth every evening. Aidan was close to Kazan and trusted him to keep their relationship a secret, which meant Beth trusted him, too.

  During their telephone conversations, they spoke about how their days went, their respective film projects, and how much they missed each other. Beth’s musical, Venus Rising, kept her busy, but her excitement over talking to Aidan when she returned home gave her the energy to make it through each day.

  When prompted, Aidan confessed that his nightmares still occurred, but less frequently and intensely than they were before he left L.A. Beth’s concern over his well-being didn’t dissipate; she would not feel at ease until she could see for herself if he fared well during his time out east.

  To occupy his days when Kazan was filming On the Waterfront in Hoboken, Aidan took walks in the countryside, read, and listened to music. Molly Kazan, the director’s wife, also kept him company until the children came home from school. Molly was a brilliant writer and often engaged him in discussions about the latest books or Broadway plays.

  Aidan enjoyed playing board games with their eldest boy and watching the other three children color with crayons or play outside. Although the family’s activities were nothing extraordinary, they provided him with the ability to experience what a normal childhood would’ve been like had his mother not been murdered and if he hadn’t grown estranged from his father. He was very grateful for Mr. and Mrs. Kazan’s hospitality and spoke of paying them back, though they continuously refused compensation.

  Aidan’s greatest joy came from completing his daily Method acting exercises and going over the Golden Gloves script with Kazan every evening. The film was about a young man from Chicago, Joe Oliver, who at eighteen years old was one of the top middleweight boxers in America. After he accidently killed his opponent in the ring, he was left so devastated that he quit the sport
. The film took place five years later as Joe returns to the profession and endeavors to earn a championship title.

  The film was a heartwarming, multi-layered story about redemption and triumph and Beth was as excited about it as Aidan was. As of yet, no other casting decisions were made. The only confirmations so far were that Mr. Mertz agreed to fund the picture and it would be filmed in Los Angeles on studio grounds starting in mid-January.

  Beth hoped her next project would be filmed on the studio lot, too, so she could see Aidan more often. The only downside was they were forced to keep their relationship a secret from anyone but their close friends. Mr. Mertz disliked Aidan tremendously, despite all the money he made for the studio with his first and only motion picture to date, Spike Rollins. He would never approve of a relationship between them.

  Beth turned off the oven and removed her apron. “Liv, can you bring the placemats and silverware out to the table, please? I’ll put the glasses and china out in a minute.”

  Olivia entered the kitchen with a broad smile on her face. “Sure thing!”

  She picked up the items from the counter and whisked them into the living room.

  Beth was glad Olivia’s mood had improved since Connie’s Halloween Party. Whatever had bothered Nathan seemed to have passed and their relationship was finally back to normal. Olivia even spent the night at his L.A. mansion a few times after Beth insisted she didn’t mind staying alone overnight in their apartment.

  Beth and Olivia had never entertained in their apartment before and both looked forward to tonight’s dinner party. They bought an oak table, matching chairs, silver cutlery, crystal, and good china to create a dining area in their living room to make up for their lack of a formal dining space. The temporary accommodations made the living room even more cramped, but they could still dine comfortably.

  Beth knew there was no hope in trying to impress Matthew and Connie because their homes were much too elegant, but the least she could do was make the apartment neat and tidy, and provide their guests with a proper table at which to eat. It would also showcase her housekeeping abilities to Aidan.