by Nancy Hopper
He smiled. “Good. Well, Caitie. Good night, love.” he said. He pulled her close and kissed her cheek.
Caitlin’s heart plummeted. She always thought … that this would be the time that he’d kiss her mouth. But he never did. As she closed her door behind her, she sighed.
CHAPTER EIGHT
He was never going to kiss her. She may as well face that. He would have done by now, if he were going to. He just wasn’t interested, or else he wasn’t willing to risk getting involved with her. After all, he had hired her to do a job, to be his mother’s companion. Nowhere in the agreement did it say that he had to kiss her.
Tears found their way down Caitlin’s cheeks. She cried bitterly into her pillow for a long time. She loved the man, and it was very hard for her to suffer his near distance. But, she had no choice in the matter.
Caitlin awoke in the morning to an atmosphere of abject misery. She ached with disappointment because David wasn’t moving closer. She hated it, but she was being pulled down into a spinning cycle of emotions. She stayed in bed and let tears slip out of her eyes for a good hour.
She didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to face David or Grace. It was horrible to love David and never have him fulfill her dreams. And so many times, she had sincerely thought he would. Didn’t everyone who’d ever seen them together?
She got up and took a hot bath at noon, and that helped. At least she felt clean and rested. She shaved and gave her hair a hot oil treatment. Anything to delay going downstairs and seeing him again. It was such torment, and she felt like a fool.
Finally, she knew that it would seem odd if she didn’t go down immediately. She got dressed and put on some very light makeup. She wore a long, flowing dress in teal that pulled out the color in her eyes. She thought that she looked sad and melancholy, and tried to force a smile to her lips. It didn’t come easily.
She slowly descended the stairs, loathe to encounter anyone. There was no one in the kitchen but Cookie. “Hello, Miss Cait. Care for a bite to eat?” she asked kindly.
“Well; yes, I suppose. How’s the soup today, Cookie?”
“Oh, miss. I’d have to say it’s turned out quite tasty. Vegetable beef and barley.” she advised heartily.
“I’ll try a cup of that.” she decided with a smile.
No one disturbed her quick meal, and she went back upstairs to brush her teeth again. Once she’d completed that, and put on some lip gloss, she went out into the hall. There was no noise. She went back into her room and fell across the bed in a slump. She dreaded meeting David, and then she was depressed when she didn’t.
Caitlin awoke to the sound of music. She sat up and gasped when she saw the clock. It was five in the afternoon, and she had quite obviously gone back to sleep. It was time for dinner. She smoothed her dress down, and decided it would do for the evening meal. She brushed her hair, put on some cologne and went down.
David was at the piano. Caitlin smiled and waved her fingers as she went by, in search of Grace. She found her friend waiting at the dinner table.
“Hello, dear. Don’t you look lovely?” Grace asked hoarsely.
“What’s this? Are you ill?” Caitlin asked worriedly.
“Oh, just a bit of a cold has got me down. I’ll be all right.” Grace grumbled. “Some soup, and then back to bed for me though, I’m afraid. You and David will have to see to your own entertainment tonight.”
“Of course.” Cait agreed kindly.
David joined them, looking slender and handsome in jeans and a white shirt. It was almost painful for Cait to look at him. Her heart was so heavy, and she loved him so desperately.
“Did you sleep the day away again, darling?” Grace asked her son.
“An indecent amount of it, yes.” he admitted with a bashful grin. “But I think I’m about to catch it up. You are not well.”
“It’s just a cold, dear. I think that I will wander back to bed and let you two fend for yourselves tonight, though.”
David lowered his eyes, and took a sip of wine before he smiled at his mother. “Of course.” he agreed. “Caitie and I will do just fine, though we’ll miss you.” He leveled a smoky look at Caitlin over his glass.
She blushed and lowered her lashes, as she always did when he gave her such glances. She wished to heaven that for once, she could have the fortitude to meet and return them.
Grace smiled with satisfaction and concentrated on her meal. She excused herself at the earliest opportunity, and went back to her room.
David smiled at Cait across the table. She wasn’t eating. “Why the long face?” he asked lightly.
“Me?” she asked, shocked. She hadn’t realized that her misery was so apparent. “Oh. I’m just … I don’t know. Perhaps I’m coming down with Grace’s cold or something.” she lied.
He shook his head. “That won’t do.” he denied.
There wasn’t much conversation as they finished dinner, and Caitlin was actually glad to leave the table. She was miserable every time she looked at David, but worse when she kept her eyes away. She was lovesick beyond comprehension. She didn’t know what to do, anymore. She understood now as never before, how horrible unrequited love could be. She’d never fathomed such pain.
David took her hand as they walked away from the table, and smiled at her. She felt tears start in her eyes, and blinked them back. “Do you feel well enough to spend a bit of time with me?” he asked considerately. “I’ve been home for two days now, and I've hardly seen you at all.”
She smiled. “Sure.” she agreed, hating herself. To be with him was going to be torment, yet she wanted to, so much that she couldn’t help herself. His hand in hers made her want to weep, and scream. His cologne in her nostrils made her wild. The warmth of him next to her was intoxicating.
“Mind if I play a bit?” he asked.
“I’d love it.” she agreed. She sat on the settee in front of the fire while he took his place at the piano. The music that began to flow was lovely, as always.
“Caitlin.” he said, without looking up, “Come here and sit with me.”
Her blood froze. To sit with him there on the piano bench would kill her. She had no doubt of it. But to refuse would take more than she had in her. She couldn’t deny him anything. She took a deep breath and went.
She was miserable there, aching. But it was also life to her, to be close to David. He played something she’d never heard before, and she listened attentively. When she concentrated on the music, and less on David, it was easier.
Then he began to sing softly.
“You are such a solitary lady. I know that you’ve been so alone. Did you know that you’ve long since captured my heart? Do you know how much I’ve longed to make you my own?”
“Do you think that you could ever love me? Would you take me to your heart and let me in? In the shadow of your eyes, I can swear your soul is yearning to know a love that would light the fire and drive away the cold.”
“Lady, you’re so beautiful and fragile. Yet I know you can be strong and bold. I can testify because you took my heart and ravished me. You’ve captured me, my lady, heart and soul.”
Caitlin sat there, paralyzed. She was held by the force of his voice, the warmth of his presence. He sang the words as though he meant every one, as though they’d just been freshly poured from his soul. His lashes covered all expression in his eyes, his face gave no answers to her seeking eyes. Yet as usual, she could feel him pouring himself out into the music. There was a tenderness, a wooing that pulled at her and invaded her heart insistently,
Caitlin felt her heart breaking inside her. How could he sit and sing this way to her, if he didn’t mean it? Was it just a song he knew, or was he singing it to her?
She was petrified. She didn’t know what to do. To look at him would give away all that she felt for him. Yet, would David really sing this plaintive, sweet love song when he was alone with her, if he didn’t mean it? Would he be that unkind? Would he so risk being misunderstood? She couldn’
t believe that of him, and yet she was too terrified to consider that he might just actually be singing it to her, with a purpose.
The piano sounds drifted off into silence, and they sat there for a moment. She felt that he was waiting, expecting something from her. She couldn’t lift her eyes, but she tried to smile. “How very beautiful.” she whispered.
“Can you imagine dancing to that music?” he asked softly.
“Oh, of course. It was divine.” she answered.
“Come then, and show me how it would go.” he suggested. He stood up, and held a hand to her. She took it and followed him without looking up.
She thought that she would die when he pulled her into his arms and held her close, humming the melody. His hand put her head against his shoulder and stroked her hair, as he held it there.
“I think it works well, don’t you?” he asked against her hair.
“Quite.” she answered desperately.
David lifted her chin, and forced her to look up into his eyes. She was frightened. She knew that she couldn’t hide from him anymore. He was going to see that she loved him, and suddenly she didn’t care. If he pitied her, then she’d just go home. That’s all there was to it.
He looked into her eyes quizzically, and turned up a corner of his mouth. “You still don’t know what to think, do you?” he accused her softly.
She blinked and searched his eyes frantically. “David,” she objected.
“What?” he challenged. He could feel her heart pounding. He could see the vein in her neck pulsing. He smiled and chuckled softly to see the desperation and desire in her eyes.
“I … I can’t.” she gasped, her eyes closing on tears. She closed her lips, but they were trembling.
“What?” he demanded, warmly.
She closed her eyes and shook her head in abject misery. “I can’t do this.” she tried to explain.
“Do what? Caitie, we’ve done nothing.” he laughed mirthlessly. “I’ve restrained myself so many thousands of times that I relive it in my sleep. I can hardly believe that you are putting on the skids, and I’ve done nothing but sing a song and ask you to dance with me. Please, explain to me. Exactly what is that you cannot do? And pray, be ready to explain why, because that will most undoubtedly be my next question.”
Tears choked her throat. “I can’t be so … close to you, like this.” she managed to get out.
He tipped his head and looked at her suspiciously, but he did not release his hold on her slender arms. “Why not, darling?” he prodded.
She gasped at the endearment, and cringed. “Don’t!” she begged. “It’s … too difficult for me.”
“Why?” he persisted.
She hung her head and sighed. The million dollar question. “Why?” she echoed lamely. Finally, she turned tear-filled eyes to his. “Because I’ve broken all the rules, David, and I can’t go on anymore. I don’t … I can’t … work for you. I can’t live here. I can’t sit with you at the piano, and dance with you, and go with you to Paris.”
He looked worried, and intrigued. “What in the world can you mean?” he asked in a low voice.
“I can’t be a good employee anymore. Can’t we just leave it at that?”
“No, I don’t think so. Why can’t you be a good employee? Just what rules have you broken?”
She shook her head, terrified. Then it had come to this. She may as well tell him. “I … can’t be objective. I’ve tried. I just can’t help it. I guess I may be impressionable, David, but I can’t help it. You’re a very wonderful man, and I … well, I’m just a foolish girl. I will need to find another position, that’s all.”
David looked down at her thoughtfully, a smile lurking about his lips. “Caitlin. I do hope you’re not planning to be difficult again. I had a very difficult time with you in Sterling, and I’m not going to do it again.”
His fingers lifted her chin, forcing her to lift her dewy eyes to his. “I can’t even think of letting you go. Now, or at any time in the future. If you have a problem with that, you’ll have to do a much better job of convincing me that you mean it.” he warned.
Caitlin’s brow wrinkled, and her breath caught in her throat. “What can you mean?” she gasped, nothing more than a whisper.
“You should have gone long ago, if you meant to.” he explained, as though she were a child. “Long before Paris, long before tonight. Now, I guarantee you, you’ll be in for the fight of your life.”
“But …” she stammered.
“No.” he denied immediately. He shook his head at her in wonder. “I can’t believe you give me no more credit than you do. To think what you think of me. To say you’d go, and never even ask me first what I want.”
She cried as if he’d struck her a blow, and pulled her face from his hand. Her shoulders shook with sobs she couldn’t control.
“What, Caitie? Why won’t you let me tell you?” he whispered in agony. “You won’t answer me, and you can’t listen? Damn it, you will!” he ground out through his teeth. “I have nothing to lose.” he growled.
His hand caught her soft hair and pulled her head back, so that her face was turned up to his. His mouth caught hers and he kissed her, searing her with his anger and desperation, his passion and hunger. His arms molded her against his body so that she couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. He plundered her savagely, hungrily, and took what he’d been dying for.
Tasting her lips, he discovered, only made him more hungry for the sweetness they offered. Feeling her body yielding to his only fanned the fire. He groaned and sighed, and tasted her again. Though it was torment, he couldn’t stay away, anymore. He had to try to satisfy the demand within him. The dam had broken, and he had to taste her again, and again.
Caitlin was in shock. She was delirious with desire, with hope and confusion. She could hardly believe that David was doing this, that David had her so crushed against his hardness, kissing her as though life itself came from her lips.
Slowly, she worked her arms free, and let them wind around his neck. And she kissed him back, held his head and neck to her with such strength and passion. She kissed him back so fervently that soon, both their knees were weak and they sagged to the floor without breaking a beat.
And David was on her, his weight held with elbows, but heavy and ardent, just the same.
“Caitlin.” he whispered raggedly. “Tell me that you love me. Tell me I’m not wrong. Please.” he begged.
“Oh, David.” she cried brokenly. “I do. I love you so much.”
He laughed and plundered her lips again. “Tell me again that you’re leaving. Will you tell me that, now?” he threatened, tasting her jaw, her ear, the throbbing column of her neck.
“No.” she denied. “No, I’ll never say it again, if you truly want me.” she denied.
He laughed, deep in his chest. “You’d better not, vixen.” he warned. “Forgive me my lack of manners, but I’ve nearly lost my mind. I’m afraid I’ve got to the point where I’ll take what I want, and ask if it’s all right after.” he growled. “You’re like a drug, Caitlin, and I’m hopelessly addicted. I do love you, and I can’t get enough. I’ll have you in my bed and satisfy myself with you, from now until the end of time. It’s far too late for you to raise objections, my love.”
Caitlin gasped, and balked just a mite at the forceful words. Could this truly be David?
“And yet,” he hedged, “I can’t deny that I’d do anything for you. Tell me to stop, Caitlin, or I’ll do what I shouldn’t.”
Caitlin’s hand caressed his soft length of hair, and came to rest on his shoulder. “Perhaps you really should … let me up.” she agreed in a shaky voice.
David stood, and held a reluctant hand to her. She took it and met his burning eyes fearfully.
“Thank you.” she said in a small voice. She felt shaky and bereft, without his heat and weight to hold her together.
His eyes were boring into her, with passion unleashed, yet unsatisfied. “Don’t you know that y
ou won a long time ago?” he accused. His eyes softened and raked her affectionately.
“I did?” she asked breathlessly.
“You undid all my buttons; and made sure you didn’t stop until I was completely unwound.” he accused. “Now, I fear, you’ll have to endure a few lapses in etiquette, my darling. The wolf has come out, and I can’t quite manage him, just now.” he chuckled. “Tell me now, Cait, if you don’t want me. And be quick about it.”
She merely looked up at him with her great, soft eyes, and stroked his cheek with a hand so tender.
He looked down at her with great satisfaction as he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her again. Caitlin almost collapsed in his arms as his lips caressed hers. He went carefully for a moment, but he intended to leave no doubt in her mind before he was finished. He went deeper, and was gratified to hear her moan. He picked her up and carried her to the settee.
When he laid her on it, her arms went around his neck and he pressed in, nearly drowning in the sweetness of the taste of her. He ached with passion. He wanted all of her. He’d waited so long, and now … now he couldn’t seem to stop. He moved his lips to her neck, her soft shoulders, and she gasped in agony.
When her mouth sought his, and she kissed him -- it sent shock waves through David that he wasn’t certain he could control. The feel of her body pressed against his, was sweet torture. He had desired her for so long. He’d held himself in check so many times.
Her mouth on his neck sent the blood rocketing through his veins. It took everything he had within him, to pull away and break the embrace. If he didn’t, he knew he’d just give in.
He stood up; and she sat up on the settee, her eyes begging him not to stop. He sighed and shook his head. “I can’t take anymore, Caitie. You’ve got me too raw and hungry.”
She looked disappointed, but she sighed blissfully.
He smiled down at her, and slowly dropped to his knees before her. “Caitie, I love you. Will you please marry me?” he asked earnestly, looking up into her eyes. He had her hands in his, and he waited.
Tears welled up in Caitlin’s eyes. She could not believe this was happening. She stared at him in disbelief, and helplessly let the tears spill. “Oh, David. Do you really mean it?” she asked brokenly.