A Walk In The Wilderness

by Nancy Hopper

  “How do you know?” he managed to argue. “How many times have I found fresh help and inspiration?” He opened the Book before any further discouragement could battle for control. He thumbed through the familiar pages until his fingers stopped.

  “The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon Me. He has anointed me to preach good news … To heal the sick … broken hearted. Garland of joy ... for weeping”. He mumbled.

  Reading Jesus’ commission, something sparked within him. “Then He closed the book”, he read. David added in revelation, “He left the temple; and went out into the world; and did all those things. There is a time to close the book – and begin to actually do something about it!”

  Suddenly, he understood. He got to his feet. Anger burned from his head to his toes, thinking of how he’d weakly sat, and just let this just happen to them! He let strength fill him for a few moments. Then, he went to his mother’s room.

  Grace saw someone come through the door. The pain made everything just hazy and dim. It was all-encompassing. She wanted to give up and go. She wanted it desperately. She was so very tired of the pain!

  “Katherine Grace Majors.” A deep voice penetrated the pain.

  “Yes?” she managed to answer weakly.

  “What are you doing? You know it’s not your time to go! Get up out of that bed!”

  “What?” she exclaimed uncertainly.

  “When you leave this earth, it won’t be cancer that takes you! Be gone, you filthy robber! Release her, and leave this house! Now!” the man’s voice commanded.

  Grace felt almost a lurching, and then -- sudden peace. She looked up and realized that the haze was gone! David was standing there, with burning eyes. Her David! He was holding her hand. She was weak, so weak, but the pain was … gone!

  David finally let go of his mother’s hand, and went to the intercom.

  “Cookie, I want you to make mother some juice. Fresh apples, carrots and broccoli. Do you have what you need?” he asked briskly.

  “Why, yes, Mr. David. There’s one of them juicer machines, a fancy one. Use it for the orange juice sometimes.”

  “Good. Follow up with some of that in an hour.” He added with satisfaction.

  Ten minutes later, Cookie came in with a glass of thick, funny-colored green stuff. “Here you be, Mr. David.” She said with perplexed obedience.

  “Thank you. I want you to keep alternating this with everything fresh you can think of to put in it. We are going to force feed her every day. And lots of clear, cold water, too.”

  “Yes, sir.” Cookie answered. It was a habit. Mrs. Grace hadn’t eaten or even managed much to drink for a couple days. Her time was come.

  “What are you doing?” the nurse asked brusquely, entering the room quickly.

  “Getting my mother well.” David answered evenly. He put the glass to Grace’s parched lips.

  “I’m afraid that’s just not possible. Mr. David, she hasn’t taken in much for awhile now. She’s not going to be able to …”

  Just then,Grace obediently opened her lips for David, and sipped a little bit. The nurse watched in stunned silence. When Grace was ready, David forced her to drink a little bit more.

  He looked up at the nurse calmly. “How much do you get paid?” he asked gently.

  “Why … by the month. Five thousand pounds.” She answered uncertainly.

  David got his mother’s cheque book from her purse. He calmly wrote a cheque out, and handed it to the subdued nurse. “Thank you for all you have done for her. I will take care of her myself, from here on out. You’re an excellent nurse, and I would be most happy to provide references.” He said. “There’s an extra month’s wages to see you through, until you have another position.”

  “Why … that’s most generous of you.” She said slowly. She supposed that it was all right. The patient was going to die within days, anyway. There was nothing that could be done, but try to keep her comfortable. David’s ignorant care couldn’t affect his mother adversely, now.

  “Her medications are laid out in the box for the next week.” She advised in a clinical voice. “lf you should need to refill it, just follow the pattern on the sheet of paper, and what’s in the box already. There is medication for breakthrough pain on the bedside table.” She advised evenly. “And the number for hospice, as well.”

  David smiled absently, and nodded. The nurse said goodbye. She turned and went to pack her things.

  Cookie followed her, worriedly asking if it was really all right, for David to do this. The nurse explained in a low voice once they were in her room, how it was. She let Cookie know that sometimes, family members did choose to dismiss the nurse a few days before. To be alone with the loved one at the end. That it would be all right. She helped Cookie understand that sometimes, people got a bit strange, knowing they were going to lose someone important to them.

  Cookie began to understand. She went to the kitchen to see about the oranges Mr. David wanted.

  David sat down wearily in the chair beside Grace's bed. He picked up his mother’s hand, and smiled at her.

  “David!” she said joyfully, but weakly. “When did you get home?”

  Caitlin saw the nurse leaving, and knew it could only mean one thing. If she wasn’t needed any longer, then Grace was gone. Gone, or ready to go. She didn’t want to face David’s grief.

  God forbid – what if he should try to turn to her now? If he did, she didn’t know what she would do! She was afraid of her own weakness, afraid that she might give in and comfort him. Give in, and open herself up to believe the lie, again. To risk facing devastation one more time. That, she didn’t want to do!

  She called James. “James,” she said quietly, “I need to go to town. Could you please bring the car around?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” James answered immediately.

  Caitlin packed an overnight type bag, and took a hanging bag with a few good outfits. That was all. She saw no need to leave a note, David obviously wouldn’t need one. She doubted he’d notice that she was gone. Yet … she didn’t want him to wonder, should he care at all. She wrote out a brief explanation.

  “David, I’m so sorry that I have been such a disappointment to you. I really had no idea how deeply disappointed you were, with me. I am sorry about Grace; sorry about the baby; sorry that I didn’t tell you the things you wanted to know. I just really can’t face Grace’s passing now, and your grief. I can’t bear any more loss. Sorry to have let you down, so.”

  “Best wishes to you always, and thanks for your help at a crucial time in my life.”

  “Caitlin”

  She went out the front door without looking back.

  David spent the early morning with Grace. Then, he had a nagging feeling that he should talk to Caitlin. He certainly needed to do some mending on that front, as well. He could only imagine what she was thinking, they’d grown so far apart over the past months.

  He didn’t know if it could be mended, really. There was so much hurt – the baby, the deceit. He knew it hadn't been malicious, but the result was the same. Still, he couldn’t really imagine life without her; she was still the only one for him. He had to try.

  He looked around the house, but didn’t find her. He went to the barn finally, to see if by chance, she’d gone riding. He doubted it, because of her back, but it seemed the only thing left that she might have done.

  Looking around, he saw that all the horses were accounted for.

  Jana came out of the tack room and gave him a fleeting smile. “Hey.” She said evenly. “So Caitlin went away for a few days?”

  David’s attention was immediately riveted on her. “Why do you say that?” he asked sharply.

  Jana took an uncertain step back. She wasn’t used to that tone from David. “Well; it's just what James said.” She explained hastily.

  “Tell me what you know.” He insisted, taking her arm roughly.

  “Well, just that James took her to town. When he came back, he mentioned that she was carr
ying two bags. You know, just conversation. He said she had an overnight type case, and one of those fold-over suit bags. I just thought …”

  “Where is James?” David answered shortly.

  “In the garage, last I knew.” Jana answered wonderingly.

  He went to Caitlin’s room. Her closet looked nearly full. He looked closer. A small suitcase was gone. He scratched his chin and thought. Then a note perched on her dresser caught his eye. He read it.

  A deep pain went through his heart. Far sharper than anything he’d ever felt in his life. He’d lost her! Dear God, he’d really lost her!

  David lost no time, finding James. Luckily, he was in the garage, waxing the car. He nodded when he saw David come in.

  “James, you took my wife somewhere?” He asked immediately.

  “Yes, sir. Didn’t you know?”

  “Where?” he demanded without answering.

  “To the train station, sir.”

  “When?”

  “Well, I just got back maybe an hour ago.”

  “Did she say where she was going?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Could you tell anything? Did you hear her say anything?” he begged desperately.

  “Sir?” James asked uncertainly.

  “About her trip, where she was going? Did she say anything?” he shouted.

  “No, sir.”

  David grabbed a jacket from a peg on the wall, and got on his motorcycle. Without another word, he was gone.

  He rode fast, and it wasn’t far to the train station. Caitlin was nowhere in sight, however. He went to the window and showed the clerk a picture of Cait, from his wallet.

  “Mr. Majors! A pleasure, Sir, how are you?”

  “Fine, thanks. Did you sell a ticket to this lady about an hour ago?”

  “Yes, sir. I surely did. Lovely lady, she was, too. One wouldn’t forget her.”

  “Where was she headed?”

  “I can’t really say, Mr. Majors. It just isn’t done, you know. It would be my head if I told, sir.”

  “She’s my wife.”

  “Oh. Well then, let me see … There was, in fact, a lady named, er …

  “Caitlin Majors.” David supplied impatiently.

  “Yes, indeed, that was her name. Well in that case, she was headed for London, sir.” He told David with a grin, peering over the top of his bifocals.

  “Thanks.” David said tightly. “When does she arrive?”

  “Well, sir, the train’s not fast. I’d say it should arrive there about midnight.”

  David nodded his thanks, and turned away.

  He went to the airfield, and got a plane chartered to take him to London, immediately. He arrived at ten, and took a cab to the train station. There, he watched, shivering, for Caitlin to get off the train. He was lucky to know the coordinates, and he waited patiently.

  He was rewarded at twelve-thirty when the tired coach pulled in, brakes screeching. He sat and watched, waiting for Caitlin to get off the train. She never did.

  David sat there, stunned. And very frightened.

  Caitlin couldn’t really say why she’d changed her mind. London after all just seemed so big and foreign -- so unfriendly, in a way. She’d never spent much time there; and after getting on the train, she just began thinking how it would be so much more pleasant to work in a small, country inn.

  It might be a bit harder to find a position, and she might have to do a bit more work. In London she’d be sure to find something quickly, and likely be able to just do front desk. That would definitely be sedentary enough for her slowly healing, painful back.

  But the thought of the country drew her so strongly, that she got off the train early and decided to stay put in a small stop along the way. After all, money wasn’t really an object, just yet. She had a little time to be choosy.

  She asked around, and got a room at a small inn. They didn’t need anyone at the time, but they gave her a tip about a lovely bed and breakfast type place away across the county; a widow who could use some help.

  She went in the morning, and found the widow Thomas to be a pleasant sort. She had a big, old house with a thatched roof that simply screamed country. The old barn had been remade into rooms, quaint and cozy, with enough charm to suit anyone, and the country flavor hadn’t been ruined. There was a view to the hills and a few chickens pecking about, providing fresh eggs for the kitchen.

  Caitlin found the proprietor sitting outside the door, dozing in the morning sun.

  “Yes? Hello there, my dear. What can I do for you, lost your way?”

  Caitlin smiled. “No, no. Are you Mrs. Thomas?”

  “You’re in luck, I am.”

  “My name is Caitlin. I understand you could use some help around the place.”

  “Ah. Indeed, it’s a bit much for me, these days. However, I have to tell you, it’s not the type of position to make one rich. Do you know anything about inn-keeping?”

  “Indeed, I do. I worked at my uncle’s inn from the time I was a schoolgirl, all through college.”

  “You’re not from these parts.”

  “No, no. I actually came from Sterling.”

  “A Scot.” Mrs. Thomas said, as if it were quite a novelty.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “But a charming one. Do you cook?”

  “Not much. Just the basics. I’m much better at front desk and bookkeeping, managing accounts.”

  “Say, now. That might be handy, as that’s just where I lack. I can do the kitchen all right. We’d have to share the cleaning, though.”

  “I can do that. I could do most of it, anyway. I’d have to be a bit careful, I am recovering from a back injury. But beds and loos shouldn’t pose any problems, so long as I take care.”

  “Well, then. What happened to the spine?”

  “I took a spill down some stairs. It’s healing, but heavy weights and I will likely never be keeping much company, again.”

  Mrs. Thomas laughed. “Well, my dear. Let me show you to your room. Then once you’re settled in, I’ll show you around a bit.”

  David had to go home, to see to Grace. He was extremely worried and upset, but he gathered his senses and hired a private investigator to do the work up on Cait's disappearance. He knew that he couldn’t do it himself, not with his mother’s health so compromised.

  It didn’t take his investigator long to track down Caitlin’s trail.

  “She got off early. I’m going today, to see if I can pick up the trail, David.”

  “Thanks, Peter. Let me know tonight, will you? I want to know what’s happening.”

  “Indeed. I will.” Peter promised.

  Life settled into a pleasant routine for Caitlin at the inn. She could lay down, or read, or work as she needed. Her employer was extremely easy to get along with. There were only six rooms for her to clean as well as the lobby, and a few farm chores, so life was truly a breeze. Still, her heart was heavy and she didn’t miss David any less.

  The only relief was in not having to watch David’s deep grief, not experience his cold shoulder. And of course, in not having to watch her dear Grace die. For though David didn’t seem to realize it, she loved Grace deeply, too.

  The bell on the counter rang, and Caitlin sighed as she got up from her chair to answer it. There was a nice-looking man standing there, waiting. About forty, with twinkling eyes.

  “Hello, there. Can I help you?” Caitlin asked, summoning a smile.

  The man’s eyebrows went up as he took in the lovely picture Caitlin made. “I certainly hope so. Have you any rooms left for the night?”

  “We do have one left.” She confirmed with a wary smile. He seemed to like the look of her.

  “Very good.” He said briskly. “My name is Peter DeVries. How much will it be?”

  “Twenty-six pounds, please. Check-out is at eleven, and of course, breakfast is included. It will be served in the main dining room at nine a.m. May I please see your identification?”

  “You b
et, lovely.” He answered immediately, and showed her his picture license.

  “Thank you. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “Where’s the best restaurant in the area?” he asked lightly.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t say. I’m new here.”

  “Ah. Well. Do you suppose we could go exploring? You’re free for dinner, I hope?”

  “No. Thank you, actually I’m not. But thank you anyway.” She said without looking up.

  “Married?” he asked so despondently that she had to hide a smile.

  “Yes, very.”

  “I see. Lucky bloke. Well, then, I guess I’m on my own.” He lamented.

  She smiled. “Good luck to you. Here’s your key.”

  He winked at her and left without any further ado.

  “David.” Grace said worriedly, “Where is my Caitlin? I’ve missed her company. She always read to me. Even when I seemed to be asleep, she would come and I could hear her voice. But I haven’t seen her for days, now.”

  David sat down beside the bed and took her hand. “How did you know I needed to talk to you about that?” he asked, trying to smile.

  “I am a mother. I have the basic instincts.” She said sweetly.

  ”I need to leave you for just a bit. I’ll have Cookie bring up your juice and vitamins and such, and I need you to be a very compliant patient, mother.”

  “Where are you going?”

  He hated to tell her, now it came to it. “Well, I need to … find my wife and get her back home.”

  Grace's disappointment went deep. He could see it in her eyes. “Whatever has been going on?” she sighed.

  “Well; things have been rough, Mother. That’s all. You don’t need to worry over this. I’ll see to it.”

  “You had just better, young man.” Grace said succinctly.

  “Meaning what?”

  “You know exactly what I mean. This is your fault, David. Caitlin would never step one foot outside your door unless it were! The girl adores the ground you walk on. You are all she has in this world, David!”

  David winced inwardly. “Very astute of you. Thanks for the reminder. I will see to it, and be home as soon as I can. I’ll call you tonight.”