by Unknown
I’m going to be a mommy. I’m going to be a fucking mom. I’m going to be someones mama. I’m going to one bad ass mommy.
Ella doesn’t even knock she just rushes into the room. She draws up short when I hold out the hand holding the photos.
She looks from my hand to the photos and back again. She resembled a puppy looking at a ball then begging you to throw it.
Laughing. I’m laughing. Puppy, Ella I cant help it. “Is that what I think it is?” she asks quietly.
I nod my head as tears fill my eyes again. God I’m turning into a weepy baby.
“I’m going to be a auntie?” she asks in excitement.
“Yes.” I hand her the photos. “There’s the peanuts.” I point them both out. “I’m three months along. Figures your brother would hit it the first try.” I joke.
“Two? There are Two Tessa.” she asks and at the same time doesn’t.
“I don’t know what to do Ella” I say. She glares at me. “Not that. I meant with your brother. What if he doesn’t want our little peanuts? I’m not getting rid of them.” I say firmly.
“Oh Tessa. He’s going to be so happy. He loves you.” she says kindly.
I’m not so sure. He has not once said the words. He hasn’t even said were exclusive. Panic starts to rise. What if hes with someone else. No Tessa. Don’t do this to your self.
Ella throws her self at me. “Oh god I’m sorry. Did I hurt the you? The babies?” “Its okay Ella. I promise no harm.”
“I was just so excited.” she says. Honestly I’m glad shes happy and excited. Maybe Adien will be as well.
I think Jesse was a little suspicious. My behavior was odd. I refused to tell him anything. I know it hurt his feelings. Adien should know before Jesse though.
“Let’s go find that brother of mine. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when you tell him.”
I know I need to do this. Its like ripping of a band aid. Best to do it quick. Less painful that way.
We go in hunt of Jesse and Jace. Finding them was easy enough. They were both in the kitchen devouring cookies. Mm cookies.
Reaching over I grab both cookies out of Jace’s hand. Poor guy looked for his hand to mine. Then my face. He smiles and gets himself some more.
Ella informed me a while ago that Jace seemed to have a soft spot for me. The man is typically all death, murder and mayhem.
After I eat ten cookies I convince Jesse and Jace to take us to the club house. I guess Adiens been there all day. At least that’s what John told Jace.
Riding on the back of anyone’s bike but Adien’s doesn’t feel right so Ella and I take my car. The boys of course rode behind us on there bikes.
The club house was a old warehouse surrounded by steel fence. There were cars and bikes everywhere. I notice Adien’s right away and feel my body give a sigh of relief then floods with tension. I need to go in there and tell him something life altering. He may not be to happy about it.
Ella all but skips to the door. My pace is a little more sedate. She frowns when she realizes I’m slowing her down.
Patting my purse. The purse holding pictures of my future. Gives me strength. I hold my head high as I walk to his office.
The door opens fast. Faster then I anticipated. I guess the occupants were also surprised. If the look on Adien’s face was anything to go with.
Amber was siting in his lap. A very fucking naked Amber was siting in his lap. My eyes fill with tears. I fight them back but more replace them. Shes sitting in his lap naked repeats in my head over and over.
I cant do this. The image is burned into my brain. The next thing I know. I’m behind the wheel of my car peeling out of the lot.
I go right to the house. Right passed go and did not collect the two hundred dollars. I rush up to our room. Grabbing a bag I start shoving my shit into it. Cloths, underwear, deodorant, shampoo, razor, everything. I even packed a shirt of two of his.
He wont miss them. Just like he wont miss me. Seems he’s already moved on. I open my purse and pull out the photos.
Selecting one with the both of them that I seem to have doubles of. I cut it off the strip and set it down on the bed.
I have no idea were I’m going. Mom moved again six months ago. So going home wasn’t a option. I already graduated so there’s no need for me to stick around here.
Mind made up I walk back to the car and calmly get into the drivers side. I’m leaving this town. I probably wont go to far. I want Ella to be apart of there lives I just need some space.
Starting the car I put it into reverse. Then Ella’s there climbing into my window. “Please Tessa Don’t go.” she cries.
“I need to Ella. Please understand. I just cant stay here right now. I’m not leaving forever. Just for now okay.”
She cries harder. “I understand. I would do the same I think. Go Jesse and Jace have him locked down in his office for now.” she gives me a small sad smile.
She backs away from the car and I back out of the driveway. Giving her one last look I take off down the road. Destination unknown.
Chapter 25
Adien
Pulling my gun I hold it to Jesse’s head. “Get the fuck out of my way.” my voice is cold. I’m done wit this shit.
Jesse stands his ground for about thirty more seconds. At least until I cock it and placed it back against his head. “Fucking Move.”
Jace and Jesse part like the red sea. I charge past them. I don’t stop until I’m at the house. Ella’s car is there but Tessa’s is gone.
I rush up the stairs and into our room. The closet was open, and the dresser drawers were open. Looking around I realized Tessa’s stuff was gone.
Ella was sitting on the floor clutching something to her chest. Her sobs were loud in the quiet of the house.
No more singing of key. No more laughing. No more Tessa. My knees buckle and I hit the floor hard. She gone. She took everything and left me.
I look over at Ella. Shes looking at me with so much hate in her eyes. It was like a physical touch.
“How fucking could you!” she shouts at me. “It wasn’t what it looked like Ella.” I whisper. My voice has left me as well.
“Wasn’t what it looked like. Are you dumb? There was a naked whore in your lap. The same naked whore who at every opportunity rubbed all the details of your affair with her in Tessa’s face.” her anger is like a whip.
“She wanted to tell you. Such good news. Such a happy moment. You ruined everything!” she shouts at me.
She looks lovingly at whatever she had clutched to her chest. A piece of paper.
“I told her you would be so happy. That you loved her. The look of disbelief on her face makes sense now. She knew you didn’t love her.” she finishes as another sob leaves her chest.
“It wasn’t what it looked like. I swear Ella.” her look says it all. She doesn’t believe me. I don’t know if there is anything I can say to make her.
“She cant do this alone Adien.” she whispers.
“Cant do what Ella?” I feel panic seep in. What if she try’s to get back at Trevor?
“She cant do this.” she hands me the paper in her hand.
“What the fuck am I looking at Ella?” I ask. I keep scanning the grainy picture. Tessa’s name was on it.
“don’t you see them?” she asks.
“See who?” I ask her.
“The peanuts?” she reply’s.
The what? Is my sister okay. Shit are these tumors?
“Is she dying?” I screamed
“No. You fucking dumbass. She pregnant with you twins.” her voice was full of disgust and heartbreak.
I did this. My sister fucking hated me. My old lady left me. I was going to make it official on graduation. I was going to ask her.
The words pregnant and twins register. Happiness flooded me. I’m going to be a daddy. Then fear, anger, sadness and finally desperation.
My old lady was out there alone and pregnant. And It was all my fault. I bro
ke her heart so she ran.
Climbing to my feet I walk out of the room. I cant stay in there without her.
Putting my phone to my ear I wait for Jace to pick up. “Call everyone. Meet me at the club house now!” I shout into the phone. Hanging up on him I take off running down the stairs out the door and to my bike. She has a head start. Time was of the essence.
It takes me no time and forever to get to the club house. The slamming of the door has everyone looking at me. My feet hit the concrete with loud thuds. Anger surges through me. I look at jace and Jesse with pure anger.
As soon as I was in arms reach I punch them both out. They hit the floor with a thud. Neither expected the hit so they couldn’t stop there fall.
Looking at the rest I scan the faces. My eyes swing back to Amber and stay there. Her eyes widen in suprise and hope. I shut that shit down. “We need to talk.” the anger was clear to hear in my voice. This talk is a long time coming.
Looking at the rest of the group I make sure they see how serious this situation was. “Tessa’s gone.” I say quietly. I couldn’t bring myself to say it louder then that. Just voicing it makes it that much more of a reality.
Mummers sweep through the room. “Did someone take her?” Brandon shout’s to be heard over the crowd.
Shaking my head in a negative. My voice carry’s through the room. “She left me. She’s out there alone.” I swallow as the room goes silent. You could hear a pin drop.
“Shes pregnant with my twins. That means she’s even more vulnerable.” I choke the words out. I don’t give a shit if this makes me look weak.
More mummers sweep the room. “I need everyone on this. Find her. I don’t care what it takes. Just fucking find her.”
everyone shouts in agreement. I got some looks of disgust and some of anger. Tessa was liked by all. Some even loved her.
It bothered me at first. Other men loving my Tessa. Until I noticed it was a brotherly love. They would lay there lives down for her. I wouldn’t wasn’t it any other way.
Amber has disappeared and so has John. I’ll deal with that shit later. Tessa comes first. Walking out of the room I make my way to my office. I need to put in some calls.
Chapter 26
Tessa
I’ve been driving for hours. The numbness was going to wear off soon. I need to find a place to sleep tonight. Then go hunt for some food. Mainly ice cream.
After driving for thirty more minutes I pull into a hotel. The Sea Side Motel. Climbing out of my car I take in the ocean just a few feet away.
Old Orchard Beach is a beautiful place. I’ve always wanted to come down here. When we moved to Bangor last year I had heard about this place.
Sighing I climb out of the drivers seat and give a big stretch. My jeans are getting a little snug. Grabbing my purse I walk into the office.
“Room for one please.” the clerk some old man looks up at me from his crossword. “How long dear?” I think about it for a minute. “A week I think.” A week seemed like a good idea. I’ll use a different name.
Maybe I’ll like it enough here to stick around. Get a job. “Name?” “Ella” I reply. Sorry Ella. “Last name?” “Mackworth” I pause “Ella Mackworth.” I say with a nod. It will do.
“Okay dear. Room number twenty two. Go right out this door take a left and its around the back . I gave you a ocean front corner room. Those have sliding glass doors. Real nice.” he smiles.
Placing my hand on my belly I smile back and thank him. Key in hand I walk out the door and collect my car. I drive a little ways up to the parking lot. Grabbing my bag I walk to the door and open it.
There are two double beds, a small table with two chairs, a TV was facing the beds, there was a small kitchenette with a small fridge, and on the very back wall to the left right next to to the kitchen was a set of two doors.
Setting my bag down on the first bed I wonder further into the room to investigate. One was a good sized closet. The other was the bathroom.
The bathroom was small. Hosting a full size tub shower combo. A small sink and a toilet. The mirror was flat to the wall. No medicine Cabinet I guess.
I take in the room from this angle. Right next to the tv was the sliding glass doors he boasted about. I feel a smile come a crossed my face. They faced the parking lot. That makes it easier. Another escape route.
My belly rumbles. Looking down at it I smile. “Alright Momma will feed you.” I give it a light pat before wondering out the door and to my car.
I spare a small glance at the ocean. I want so badly to feel the sand between my toes. Sighing I climb into my car and go in search for the nearest grocery store.
The nearest fucking grocery store was the next town over. Not that it was that far really. It was a whole twenty minutes away. Twenty minutes to far.
Going up and down every aisle I fill the shopping cart. Not much refrigerated stuff though. Mostly junk. I shake my head at myself. I really should be eating healthier food.
Walking down the freezer aisle I make sure to get a half gallon of cookies and cream ice cream. I know it wont fit in the fridge. It doesn’t need to though I plan on eating this as soon as I get back.
I steer clear of the liquor aisle no need to go down that one. I grab some chicken and ground beef. Small packages. I need something for dinner for the next two days. I don’t plan on leaving the room for at least that long.
Gabbing penne, canned tomato’s, garlic, pepperoni, canned sauce plain, some onion and bell peppers. I plan to make pasta tonight for dinner.
I rush back to the storage bag aisle and grab a package of zip lock bags and some tupperware. I need something to store the left overs in for later.
I load everything up on the conveyor belt at the register. I watch the lady ring up my various goods. After ringing up the ice cream and packaged cakes she looks at me.
I stare back daring her to say anything. She just shrugs and continues to ring up my food. I bag it. Not wanting to wait for her to do it. And quickly place it back into the cart.
I hand her two hundred dollars and rush back to the car. My hunger was starting to rule all my thoughts. The sooner I get back to the hotel the sooner I eat.
Fuck that I grab a box of packaged cakes and put the rest into the trunk. I’m not waiting I need to eat right fucking now.
I don’t bother starting the car. Grab the box of cakes and tear into it like a mad woman. Cakes fly every wear. I grab the nearest one and rip into the plastic wrapper.
Mm hmm, oh god so yummy. Shoving half the cake into my mouth in the first bite. Two bites and it was gone. I grab another cake and it suffers the same fate.
After about five of those sweet heavenly creations I’m ready to go back to the hotel. Walking through the door lugging my supplies I start putting it all away.
I quickly put dinner together. Trying to stay busy. I wasn’t ready to fall apart yet. It wasn’t time for that.
Watching the sauce simmer and the noodles boil I try to keep my thoughts positive. I think after dinner I’m going to soak in a nice hot bath.
Thoughts of the bath bring back memories of our first time and how he drew me a bubble bath the next day.
Tears fill my eyes and start to fall. I strain my noodles and plate them. Pouring the sauce on it I place it on the little table. I place the left over food still hot into the containers I bought. I place the lids on at a angle so the steam can escape as it cools.
I grab a caffeine free orange pop. Filling a glass with ice I proceed to devour my dinner, careful to keep my mind blank while I eat.
Looking longingly at the bathroom door. That bath seems like such a wonderful idea. I know as soon as I get in there I will break.
Its going to happen anyway. Relaxing in a steamy bathroom sounds a hell of a lot better then sitting here on the floor falling apart.
Standing I through out my paper plate. Thankful the hotel provided some pans. I put them into the sink to saok.
Walking into the bathroom I strip as the
tub fills. It looks so inviting, so safe, so relaxing. I know what waits for me there though. Like a moth to the flame. A deer to her doom I climb into the tub and sink down.
Water sloshes over the rim. Laying back I rest me head on the edge and close my eyes. Images of today flash behind my eyes.
I wonder if he went back to her. Is he happy I’m gone? Are they fucking right now. This very instance. This very moment? As I sit in this tub. My heart breaking.
Is he with her? Does he even care about me? Did Ella tell him about the babies? Did he find the picture I left? Does he even want them?
Maybe hes happy I left taking this burden with me. Its better to find out now instead of later. I guess I should be thankful he wasn’t fucking her when we walked in.
She was the only one without cloths. Not that, that means anything. He could have had her strip for him like he’s asked me to do multiple times before.
Bile rises in my throat was he doing the things he did with me. With her at the same time? When he was done with me did he seek her out?
Not sure if I want the answer to those questions. Sometimes its best to be left in the dark.
Chapter 27
Trevor
Its been days since anyone has seen Tessa. It seems shes pulled another disappearing act. This makes it slightly easier to get my hands on her though.
“I need her found. Now that fuck face is out of the picture shes easy pickings.” I look at Kevin.
It was easy to find someone who wasn’t a fan of Adien. All’s I had to do was look for another club.
“I’ve got most of my men working on it.” he reply’s sounding bored. Hes loosing his usefulness.
“What I don’t understand is why shes so important to you?” he asks yet again.
“I told you she was my girl.” I snap
“Yeah and then she wasn’t. Adien’s had his fill shes used goods.” he says non nonchalantly.
“She’s fucking mine!” I shout.
“Dude I was just saying. There’s more fish in the sea. What makes this one so special?” he continues in his calm voice.