by J. M. Lamp
I turn, my back facing the shower wall, and run my fingers along his stomach. He puts his hand under my chin and gently lifts it up, planting a kiss on my lips and putting a tongue in my mouth. I feel his dick rub against my stomach as he pulls in closer and starts sucking on my neck.
I moan and grab his dick with my hand, jerking him back and forth. He moves from my neck, back to my lips, and takes my bottom lip in his mouth.
He drops to his knees and puts my dick in his mouth. I open my mouth and look down at him, drowning my hands in his hair. He moves from my tip to practically deep-throating me, and the pleasure is almost unbearable.
I pull his head up and stick my tongue in his mouth again. I motion him to the side of the bathtub, and he sits down. I drop down and return the favor, making his dick my own personal ice cream cone.
His body leans to the right, and I watch him grab the shampoo bottle off the shelf in the shower. He squirts some in his hands and runs them through my hair.
He slips out of my mouth, and I laugh. “What are you doing?”
He laughs. “I mean we might as well do what we’re really in here to do, too.”
I nod, and I go back to sucking him. He starts to laugh again, but it turns into a soft moan, and my dick jumps from the sound of it.
Hearing Sam moan is, basically, my favorite thing to hear and knowing that I’m the one making him do it makes it that much greater.
I let off him again and grab the bottle of body-wash off the shelf. I stand up, squirt some in my hands, and rub my hands around his chest and stomach. His gaze never wavers from my face and neither does mine from his. He squirts some into his hand, too, and reaches behind me, running his fingers down my back and between my ass cheeks.
I lean my head back as he starts sucking on my neck again, and all I want is to have him in me. I turn around towards the shower curtain and set my right foot up onto the edge of the tub.
I edge my head to the side to look at him. I smile, and he moves closer to me. I move my head to the left as he brings his mouth down to my neck, and he wraps his hands around the front of my stomach.
I wrap my right arm around the back of his neck as he positions his dick into the middle of my ass. He shoves in, loosening me up, and I moan. The feeling of him inside me fills me with immense pleasure, and as he slowly moves deeper and deeper into me, I start beating faster and harder on my dick.
I can feel myself getting close as he leans off of me and tightens his grip on my hips, moving me in and out of him.
“Oh fuck,” I say, unloading the best orgasm of my life all over my hand and the shower curtain.
I hear him let out a beautiful moan as he slows down his motions, and we both slowly fall back against the wall of the shower.
“I feel like I’m going to pass out,” he says, kissing my ear and making his way down to my shoulder.
“You can’t,” I say, smiling. “We have a city to explore.”
***
We rent a paddleboat and get out onto the water. The view of the city from the water is breathtaking, and I’m glad that I get to see this view for the first time with Sam. He puts his hands over his head, and I laugh.
“What?” he says.
I shake my head. “You having a good time?”
“It’s beautiful out here. Still prefer Chicago, but it’s beautiful here, too.”
Sam looks at his phone, and he sighs.
“What?” I ask him.
“My ex.” I suddenly get nervous, and I start to wonder why his ex is texting him. “He’s getting married.”
Relief rushes through me, and I say, “And that’s a bad thing?”
He shakes his head. “It just bothers me for some reason. I don’t know. I know it’s stupid, but I almost feel like I was good enough to cheat on, but I was never good enough to commit to.”
“He’ll probably just cheat on him, too.”
“Honestly,” I say, “I hope he doesn’t. He wasn’t always a bad guy. Maybe I really was just not what he wanted.”
“Or maybe he’s just a dick.”
He laughs. “Maybe.”
Sam looks up at the sky and back to me. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
“Adding awkwardness to our day out.”
I shake my head. “I’d rather know if something is bothering you than have you keep it all in. By the way, did you get ahold of your friend?”
“Yes,” he says. “I forgot to tell you. I text him last night while you were asleep, and he said that him and Matt can meet us after two.”
I look down at my phone and see that it’s eleven. “We have some time. We can just meet them for lunch.”
“I hope this Matt guy is a decent guy. He met him through one of his friends that lives here in the city.”
“Is he a good judge of character?”
I nod. “Besides being wrong about Elizabeth like I was.”
“It’s hard to be right about something like that when you have no idea what’s going on. Did they close that case yet?”
“Yeah, but they couldn’t find anything out about the affair. Even after Denise and a lot of Elizabeth’s friends talked to the cops, they couldn’t do anything about it.”
I shake my head. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I know it makes me sound horrible, but at least she got her revenge in the end, I guess.”
I laugh, and I say, “You’re cold, my friend.”
“Actually,” he says, “I’m sweating my balls off out here. It’s beautiful, but it’s hot as fuck.”
I shrug and lean back deeper into the seat. “I like it. The fact that you’re sweating to death.”
“Now that’s cold,” he says, smirking.
***
“It should be right around this corner,” Sam says, looking at the GPS on his phone. I follow him around the corner and see the pizza place a few stores down. “They’re inside.”
We make our way in, and Sam sees Braxton in a booth to the right. I look up and sitting beside him really is a guy named Matt: the Matt that I met my first time visiting with Sadie.
We get to the table, and Braxton gives Sam a hug. I shake his hand and sit down in the booth across from them—across from Matt. It takes him a second, but he recognizes me, and he smiles.
Braxton hugs Matt’s shoulder, and he says, “Sam, this is Matt. Matt, Sam and Oliver.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Sam,” Matt says. “And I, actually, already sort of know Oliver.”
Sam looks over at me, and he says, “Really?”
I nod, and I say, “We met the last time I was in New York at the most causal gay-bar I’ve ever been to.”
Matt laughs, and he says, “How’s your friend’s book doing?”
“Good. That’s why we’re here. She’s busy all day at a convention for it, so we’re enjoying the city.”
“Oliver got food poisoning last night at some Mexican place,” Sam says. “Thankfully, it didn’t kill him.”
“Where’d you go?” Braxton asks.
“Some place by the airport,” Sam says.
He looks over at me, and I say, “I forget the name, too, to be honest. It was delicious at the time, though.”
“That’s not a great start to your guys’ visit, though,” Braxton says.
Sam looks over at me, and he smiles. “We… had a pretty good morning so far.”
“We went out on a paddleboat,” I say, knowing damn well what he is actually referring to.
Sam nods, and he looks back over at Braxton. “It was so hot.”
“So, how are you liking New York?” I ask Braxton.
He shrugs, and he says, “It’s not bad. My job makes it worth it.” He looks over at Matt. “And other things. By the way, I heard about everything with Elizabeth.”
Sam nods, and he says, “Yeah, it’s definitely been interesting at work the last two weeks.”
“I always knew that he was a bad guy, but I also always kind of thought that she really was a bitch
. I guess we all have our reasons.”
***
We end our day at the Observation Deck, and Sam is beyond thrilled at the beautiful view. He pulls out his phone and grabs ahold of my shoulder. I smile, and he snaps a shot us.
“Hope I looked decent in that.”
“You look perfect,” he says.
We circle around and lean against the railing on the opposite side of where we took the picture. Sam puts his hands behind his head, and I smile.
“Thank you,” he says.
I look up at him, confused. “For what?”
“Inviting me to go with you guys this weekend.” He moves his hands to the railing beside of me, and he sighs. “For coming into my life in general, I guess. I wasn’t really… properly enjoying my life before I met you.”
He looks out towards the setting-sun, and I realize that something is going to change between us sooner rather than later. I realize I know exactly what he means, because I feel the same exact way lately. Even when I was with Eddie, I never thought that we would be together forever. It was so easy to walk away from him once I found out he was cheating, because in a lot of ways, it gave me the opportunity to start over.
Life is an ongoing list of things that we can’t see until they happen and are marked off as completed. Sam was added to my list the moment I saw him at Gregor’s my first night, and I, like him, am beyond thankful for the fact.
I lean off the railing, get behind him, and wrap my hands around his stomach. Leaning my head on his shoulder, he grabs hold of my hands and holds them tight in his.
In this moment, I realize that I love Sam Erickson, and I pray that when the time comes, I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I’ve always believed that love was just a fairytale. People can find happiness with others, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will always be happy with them. There hasn’t been a moment in all of the days since I’ve known him that I haven’t been happy with Sam.
Now, I just need to figure out how to bring it up.
***
“Everything go OK?” I ask Sadie at the hotel later that night.
She leans her head back and lets out a small scream.
I laugh, and I say, “That’s good.”
“It was fine,” she says, “but it was just such a long day. I’m exhausted and hungry.”
“We just ordered pizza,” Sam says.
Her eyes widen, and she says, “I love you two. I bought this.” She pulls two bottles of wine out of her purse, and she smiles. “You can have some if you want it. Either way, both of these are getting drank tonight.”
Sam laughs, and Sadie make her way over to the mini-fridge.
“How was your guys’ day?”
“Good,” I say.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Sam adds. “This city is pretty great.”
Sadie nods, and she says, “Yeah, but I still prefer Chicago.”
“Oh, completely,” Sam says. He gets up off the bed and makes his way towards the bathroom. “I wouldn’t live here if someone paid me.”
The door shuts, and Sadie instantly sits beside me on the bed.
“Did you guys do anything fun,” she whispers.
I roll my eyes and laugh.
“When are you guys just going to get together?”
I shrug. “I don’t know if we ever will… but I know that I want to.”
“What?”
I nod. “I realized today that what we’re doing is basically dating without the label, but I want the label.”
“Well, duh,” she says. “I think you already realized that before today, but you just didn’t want to admit it. Because of Eddie, I mean.”
“It wasn’t Eddie. I just didn’t want cheated on again.”
“So, you haven’t told him, I’m guessing?”
I shake my head just as Sam opens the bathroom door. Sadie gets off the bed before Sam is out, and I laugh.
Sam sits back down beside me and lies back onto the bed. I look over at Sadie, and she winks, giving me a thumbs-up in the process.
I lie back into Sam’s arms, and I start to wonder what’d he say if I told him right now. Then I realize that he’s in the same exact position as me. He swore off dating for years because he didn’t want to be cheated on again.
What if my sudden realization that I want more isn’t what he wants? What if I do tell him and he tells me that he’s had fun, but he doesn’t want to take it any further?
What if I stop asking myself these questions, and I just enjoy the rest of my weekend with Sam?
I smile, and I say, “Let’s watch a movie.”
“What kind?” Sam says, grabbing the remote off the table next to him.
“Something fan-fucking-tastic.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sam
E VEN THOUGH ETHAN HAS SAID IT THREE times now, I still can’t believe my ears. We’re having lunch at Elliot’s work, when all of a sudden, he blurts out that Cody proposed to him last night.
“I’ve known for awhile that he has been wanting to ask me,” Ethan says. “I was on his laptop a couple weeks ago, and I went to search for something when a search for engagement rings popped up. Honestly, I thought I would be nervous about the fact when it came up, but the only thing I thought about was how much I wanted to say yes to him.”
Elliot turns towards me, smiles, and he says, “Now, it’s your turn, Samuel.”
I shake my head. “Have to have a boyfriend first.”
“Which you have,” Ethan says.
I close my eyes and put my hands behind my head.
“Now, Ethan,” Elliot says. “You know Sam hasn’t reached the point yet where he realizes that he really does want to be with Oliver forever and ever.”
“So,” I say, changing the subject, “are we doing anything special to celebrate this?”
Ethan nods and sets his feet up onto Elliot’s desk. Elliot gives him a dirty look, and he rolls his eyes and sits them back down.
“Vegas,” he says. “You two, Hadley, and I, and I’d like to go next weekend if possible.”
“You don’t want Cody to go?” Elliot asks him.
“He wants me to spend time with all of you guys,” he says. “I don’t get to see you as much as I’d like, so he said we should all go and have a good time. He’s going to hang out with Carrie.”
“You sure do have a good one,” I say.
“You do, too,” he says. “Look, man, I know that you are weird about all of this, and I know that you are just enjoying yourself with Oliver, but he’s a really cool guy. We’ve also never seen you this happy before, and we know that it is because of him.”
“I mean, I’d be lying if I haven’t been thinking about it lately. Our trip to New York was great, and I felt like I was completely myself with him. I don’t know.”
Elliot folds his hands and leans in on his desk. “What don’t you know, Sam?”
“I don’t know if he’s the one.”
Ethan sets his food down on the desk and sits up in his seat. “So, you’ve been waiting these past few years to find “the one,” and that’s why you won’t commit to Oliver? Do you know how stupid that sounds?”
“I just don’t want to get hurt again.” I look down at my phone and see the time. “I have to go. Let me know all the details about the trip.”
I leave the building and lean against the wall once I turn the corner. I let out a deep breath and try to process whether I’m mad at them for bringing it up again, or if I’m angry at myself because I’m being stubborn and I know it.
***
“This room is fucking huge,” I say, walking into our suite at the hotel.
“Four bedroom, four bath,” Ethan says. “And a gorgeous view of the entire kingdom out there.”
I walk out onto the balcony and feel like passing out from the view. We’re as high up as we can be, and we are looking down on everything and everyone. I lean on the balcony railing and take everything in.
“It
really is gorgeous,” I hear Hadley say behind me.
She leans on the railing beside me and pulls out her phone. She takes a picture of the view, and I do the same thing, sending it to Oliver.
“How have you been doing?” I ask her. “I haven’t seen you in months.”
“I’m fine,” she says. “I’ve just been busy with work and dealing with boy-drama.”
“How’s he doing?”
She takes a breath, and she says, “He’s at least talking to me now. There’s a lot about Ian that I didn’t know about until we got closer.”
“So, are you guys together or no?”
“No. We decided to take a break a couple months ago. He can’t handle it all right now. What about you? I heard you have a nice, delicious man now.”
I laugh and lean off the railing. “He’s just a friend, but the more I keep telling people that, the more I stop believing it.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing, I’m just still not ready for a relationship I don’t think.”
“What about him?” she says. “Does he want more with you?”
“If he does, he hasn’t said anything. He has a better excuse than me. I met him a few months after he broke up with the guy for cheating on him. A few months is a realistic time frame to not want to be in one compared to a few years.”
“Only you will know when you’re ready, Sam.” She folds her arms and looks up at the sky. “Just don’t wait too long, I guess. By the time you figure it out, he could have met someone else.” She shakes her body and laughs. “Anyway, can you believe he’s getting married? I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Right?” I look back into the room and see Ethan and Elliot looking at a brochure of the city. “I’m glad he is, though. Cody is the best thing that has ever happened to him. It’s good seeing him this happy.”
She nods and makes her way back inside.
I turn back around and cup my hands over the balcony. My phone dings, and I see that it’s Oliver.
Oliver: Beauuuuuuutiful. Sadie and I went our freshman year in college. It was insane.