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by Tadeusz Rozewicz


  lived 1880–1946

  I rush headlong . . . the roiling water golden

  the sky suspended from a burning frame . . .

  I rush headlong

  Mr. Ludwik Mr. Eminowicz

  wait up

  don’t hurry so

  don’t run away

  from us

  into a fragile immortality

  in some reference book

  or anthology

  in October 2000

  I was at the Frankfurt Book Fair

  (Frankfurt am Main)

  eight hundred publishers

  or maybe eight thousand publishers

  were exhibiting a hundred thousand new titles

  a million books

  “the pope of German literature and criticism”

  put in an appearance

  five hundred poets (of both sexes)

  read their poems

  ja ja lesen macht schön

  (schreiben macht häßlich)

  but the greatest success

  was Boris Yeltsin with his bestseller

  and with champagne vodka and caviar

  I was there too with a small volume

  I drank a glass of red wine

  with Leszek Kołakowski

  I read poems with Miłosz

  Nike sprinting before us

  suddenly Eminowicz

  popped into my head

  “I rush headlong . . . the roiling water golden

  the sky suspended from a burning frame”

  I smiled to myself

  Nike running behind us

  cheeks unhealthily flushed

  and I was thinking about Eminowicz’s poem

  in “Pion” (Chess?)

  somewhere once

  long long ago

  I had read that poem

  [2000–2001]

  rain in Kraków

  rain in Kraków

  rain

  falling on the Wawel dragon

  on the bones of giants

  on Kościuszko Mound

  on the Mickiewicz monument

  on Podkowiński’s Frenzy

  on Mr. Dulski

  on the trumpeter from St. Mary’s tower

  rain

  rain in Kraków

  dripping on the white Skałka church

  on the green commons

  on the Marshal’s coffin

  beneath silver bells

  on the gray foot soldiers

  the clouds hunker down

  settle in over Kraków

  rain

  rain falling

  on Wyspiański’s eyes

  on the unseeing stained glass

  the mild eye of blue

  a thunderbolt from a clear sky

  long-legged maidens in high heels

  fold colorful umbrellas

  it’s growing brighter

  the sun

  emerges

  I walk from one monastery to another

  seeking the dance of death

  in my hotel room

  I attempt to hold on

  to a poem that’s drifting away

  on a sheet of paper

  I have pinned a purple copper

  butterfly

  a patch of blue

  rain rain rain

  in Kraków

  I read Norwid

  it’s sweet to sleep

  sweeter to be of stone

  goodnight dear friends

  goodnight

  living and dead poets

  goodnight poetry

  [July 2000]

  gray zone

  cobweb

  four drab women

  Want Hardship Worry Guilt

  wait somewhere far away

  a person is born

  grows

  starts a family

  builds a home

  the four specters

  wait

  hidden in the foundations

  they build for the person

  a second home

  a labyrinth

  in a blind alley

  the person lives loves

  prays and works

  fills the home with hope

  tears laughter

  and care

  the four drab women

  play hide-and-seek with him

  they lurk in chests

  wardrobes bookcases

  they feed on gloves dust

  kerosene mud

  they eat books

  fade drab and quiet

  by icy moonlight

  they sit on paper flowers

  the children clap

  trying to kill moths

  but the moths turn into silence

  the silence into music

  the four drab women wait

  the person invites

  other people

  to christenings funerals

  weddings and wakes

  silver and gold anniversaries

  the four drab women

  enter the home uninvited

  through the keyhole

  first to appear is Guilt

  behind her looms Worry

  slowly there grows Want

  baring her teeth comes Hardship

  the home becomes a cobweb

  in it are heard voices groans

  gnashing of teeth

  buzzing

  the awakened gods

  drive off

  importunate humans

  and yawn

  . . .

  on the road

  of my life

  which has been straight

  though sometimes

  it disappeared

  round the bend

  of history

  there were whirlings

  on the road of life

  where I walked

  flew

  limped

  losing along the way

  the truth

  which I sought

  in dark places

  sometimes on that road

  I met

  the children of my friends

  my own children

  I saw them learn to walk

  I heard them learn to speak

  in their eyes were questions

  mysterious children

  from the paintings

  of Wojtkiewicz

  hiding in corners

  listening to our conversations

  about poetry art music

  at times they squealed

  smiled were silent

  mysterious children

  from the paintings of Makowski

  flat little clowns

  with stuck-on

  red noses

  with snotty noses

  smiling

  we gradually lost our self-assurance

  (“what are you gawking at?”)

  we were so busy

  then all at once

  we saw that our children

  have children

  that they have

  failures and successes

  that they are turning gray

  they ask us

  “what are you gawking at?”

  but we are silent

  and hide in corners

  [2002]

  gray zone

  “What makes gray a neutral color? Is it something physiological, or logical?”

  “Grayness is situated between two extremes (black and white).”

  WITTGENSTEIN

  my gray zone

  is starting to include poetry

  here white is not absolute white

  black is not absolute black

  the edges of these non-colors

  adjoin

  Wittgenstein’s question is answered by Kępiński

  The world of depression is a monochromatic world

  dominated by grayness or total darkness

  in the darkness of depression many things look

  differently than in normal light

  black and wh
ite flowers

  grew only in Norwid’s poetry

  Mickiewicz and Słowacki

  were colorists

  the world we live in

  reels with color

  but I don’t live in that world

  I was only impolitely awakened

  can one wake someone politely

  I see

  a ginger cat

  in green grass

  hunting a gray mouse

  the artist Get

  tells me he cannot see colors

  he distinguishes them by the labels

  on the tubes and tins

  he reads and knows that this is

  yellow red blue

  but his palette is gray

  he sees a gray cat

  in gray grass

  hunting a gray mouse

  he has impaired vision

  (he doesn’t suffer from depression)

  maybe he’s pretending

  so as to provoke his students

  and enliven our discussion

  we go on talking about Bemerkugen über

  die Farben

  W. talks of a red circle

  a red square a green circle

  I say to G. it would seem

  that the square is merely filled

  with red or green

  the square is square

  not red or green

  according to Lichtenberg few

  people have ever seen pure white

  drawing may be the purest

  form of art

  drawing is filled

  with pure emptiness

  thus a drawing

  is by its nature

  closer to the absolute

  than a Renoir painting

  the Germans say

  weiße rose and rote rose

  for one who doesn’t know German

  a rose

  is neither rote nor weiße

  it’s just a rose

  but someone else has never heard the word

  rose and what he holds in his hand

  is a flower or a pipe

  Regression in die Ursuppe

  in the beginning was a thick

  soup which under the influence

  of light (and heat)

  produced life

  from the soup emerged a creature

  or rather something

  that transformed itself into yeast

  into a chimpanzee

  eventually god came along

  and created humans

  man and woman

  sun cat and tick

  humans invented the wheel

  wrote Faust

  and began printing

  paper money

  all sorts of things appeared

  doughnuts Fat Thursday

  platonic love pedophilia

  national poetry day (sic!)

  national rheumatism day (sic!)

  national illness day–it’s today!

  finally I too entered the world

  in 1921 and suddenly . . .

  atishoo! I’m old I forget my glasses

  I forget that history

  happened Caesar Hitler Mata Hari

  Stalin capitalism communism

  Einstein Picasso Al Capone

  Al Qaida and Al Kaseltzer

  during my eighty years

  I’ve noticed that “everything”

  turns into a strange soup

  –but a soup of death not life

  I’m drowning in this soup of death

  I cry out in English

  help me help me

  (no one understands Polish any more)

  I clutch at straws

  (someone else has seized the day)

  once long ago

  the St. Francis of Polish poetry

  Józef Wittlin

  wrote an anthem on a spoonful of soup

  but I forget what kind of soup it was

  all at once my wife

  comes out of the kitchen

  she’s more and more beautiful

  “will you have supper with me?”

  “I’ve already eaten” she replies

  if I were Solomon

  I’d create for you

  the song of songs

  but even Solomon can’t pour

  from an empty vessel let alone

  a poet from Radomsko!

  (not Florence or Paris

  but

  Radomsko . . .) Radomka

  my homely little river

  little creek or creeklet

  creaklet? After turning

  eighty I’m no longer bound

  by the rules of spelling

  . . . Tadeusz my friend

  why exert yourself so?

  I’ve lived to see

  chat rooms columns

  at-signs portals

  I stare at the big dipper

  above me

  and don’t know what to make of it

  I stare at the little dipper

  and think dipper or shipper

  Goethe’s grandson was magnificent

  what was it he said?

  . . . ich stehe vorm Kapitol

  und weiss nicht was ich soll!

  while his grandaddy had to write

  dichtung und wahrheit

  and add the entire italian journey

  bravo! bravo! for the grandson

  it’s time to return to the primordial soup

  brother poets (and sister

  poetesses too!)

  let’s return to the anal phase

  therein lies the source of all

  fine arts and coarse arts

  tertium non datur?

  oh but yes! datur datur

  the tertium is arising

  before our very eyes

  I know nothing about you

  I don’t know who you have loved

  I don’t know what kind of child you were

  you’re a young woman

  with a beautiful face

  alluring eyes

  and a mouth that denies it

  I don’t know what you dreamt in the night

  where you were this morning

  running late

  your cheeks rosy

  breathless

  you sat at the table

  a third person came along

  a young man

  in a garish sweater

  you were enjoying your żurek soup

  or maybe it was barszcz

  I had finished dinner

  and was having a tea

  with my finger I drew hearts

  on the white napkin

  Madame Maria

  turned 92 today

  she told me yesterday that

  once in a train she met

  Sofia Andreevna Tolstoy

  she saw Tsar Nikolai and Rasputin

  she’s still not sure

  if the October Revolution

  made any sense

  after all the Russian intelligentsia was

  the most progressive in Europe

  –“between you and me, Mr. Tadeusz”–

  yet it was consumed

  by the Revolution

  “–don’t forget

  the newspaper and the toffees–

  I wrote an article about White Marriage

  ‘Who’s Afraid of Tadeusz Różewicz’”

  snow was falling

  I thought you’d say goodbye to me

  but you were on the steps

  talking with the guy

  I had a rough night

  a bad black day

  my son heard voices

  he was abducted

  god came to him in the form of light

  a good quiet lad

  he found himself in the middle

  of the burning bush

  bleeding

  I walked through a wall of snow

  heard a voice:

  mein Vater, mein Vater,

  und hörest du nich
t

  was Erlenkönig mir leise verspricht?

  Sei ruhig, bleibe ruhig, mein Kind!

  In dürren Blättern säuselt der Wind . . .

  in this city

  where a polar bear roams

  where I hear Kiepura singing

  la donna é mobile

  where polar bears live

  drink vodka and say “fuck it!”

  and when they raise their heads

  we see the faces

  of our compatriots

  purple as methylated spirit

  Lacking a sense of reality

  spattered with wet snow

  I walked forward

  walked in the four directions

  of the world

  and that is all

  you who are distant close

  and alien to me

 

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