Mendacious

by Beth Ashworth

  I shouldn’t rise to it, but the bastard is pushing every one of my buttons. I’m defensive over anything to do with Libby. My cage has been well and truly rattled.

  “I’ll take that as a yes then,” Sean spits. “We wanted you to romance her. But instead, you spilled everything to some random girl, slept with Libby, and then watched as it all went up in flames. You don’t give a shit, do you? This is your reputation we are talking about, Alex. What if this scandal is leaked? Do you know how unprofessional it looks? We have a fragile client base as it is with this Oakley bastard, so we don’t need you fucking it up further. Snap out of it—”

  Sean doesn’t finish his little power trip because I round my desk and send my fist flying at his jaw. I feel the burn across my knuckles when the skin splits upon contact. Sean staggers back and falls against the chair. I gear up for round two when I see the look in his eyes, but Benedict quickly stands between us.

  “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Libby. I’m not one to admit it, but maybe I was wrong about this deal. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought my personal life into things, because you’re right, I don’t want to go through with it. There are things buried so deep in both of us and I thought it would be a good idea to spend the time exploring them further.” I thrust my hand into my hair and tug it harshly. “Fuck! I just saw it as way to find out where it all went wrong. I was so close to finding out as well, but now I’m back at square one.”

  Sean wipes the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and grimaces at the sight of blood. It’s the first time I’ve laid a hand on him like this. We do it at the gym, but that’s different. He knows he has pushed me too far.

  “I think you need to take a few days off,” Benedict suggests to me. “Just go and clear your head and let me take care of things. I need to do some damage control. Hopefully things will have calmed down by the time you’re back and I can fill you in on what’s going to happen moving forward.” He sees my obvious disinterest in his suggestion and shakes his head. “As your friend, I’m telling you take a break, Alex. This is too much. Let Sean handle the day to day running for a few days. You can still check e-mails if you must.”

  Benedict hands Sean a tissue that he spits some blood into. Guilt washes over me at the damage and destruction I’ve caused in the space of a few days. I’m the control freak here. I’m supposed to be the one resolving issues, but here I am causing them.

  I’m falling apart.

  The last seven years of hard work feels as if it’s disintegrating before my very eyes, and it’s almost like I’m back in that old kitchen again, sat at the shitty wooden table, clutching hold of the envelope and watching Libby walk out of the door. The buried chest explodes deep inside and I feel an overwhelming rush of emotion hit me like a freight train at full speed. It knocks the air out of my lungs and the wind from underneath me.

  “Just go and work remotely for all our sakes,” Sean replies. “You’ve only been here a couple of days this week anyway because you’ve been at Libby’s office.”

  It has only been a week.

  Shit.

  I’ve done all of this damage in such a short space of time. What a major fuck-up.

  “Alex, go home,” Benedict says again when I don’t move. He gives me a friendly slap on the back which jolts my attention to the task at hand.

  Maybe he’s right and I should take some time off. I haven’t had a break in the last seven years, so maybe this is overdue.

  But then again, I have another deal in the pipeline that needs my attention. I can’t just drop my business in the hands of someone else.

  “Alright,” I eventually murmur, closing my laptop and picking it up along with my phone. “I’m not taking a break because of the Harwood deal, but I’ll work remotely.” I see the instant relief on both of their faces, and fix them with a warning. “But I want to know what’s going on at all times, with everything. And I want every detail on this Oakley fucker.” I turn to Sean who is still leaning against the chair. “Sort yourself out. You’ve got a lot to take on over the next few days.”

  Sean clears his throat. “Got it.”

  Benedict nods. “We’ll keep things moving.”

  Heading out of my office, I tell Kelly to cancel my next three days of meetings.

  “So, Sean is in charge?” she asks me again.

  “He will be in the office, but I’m contactable remotely by phone and e-mail. I’ll be working from home for a few days, so I’ll see you on Thursday morning.”

  “See you then, Alex,” Kelly chirps as I step into the lift and the door closes on her.

  ~

  Pulling the car onto my mum’s driveway, I turn off the engine and head for the front door. I jiggle the door handle to see if she has left the latch open, which she has, and I walk straight into the hallway.

  “Hello, my darling,” my mum coos from her seat in the living room when she spots me.

  I see she has her reading glasses on and a magazine in her hand like usual. Her feet are propped up on the poof and I can hear Jeremy Kyle wittering on the television in the background. It transports me back to my childhood where I’d be sitting on the floor in front of her, helping with various answers to the crosswords she used to do on the back page of the magazine.

  “Are you not working today? Does the world not need saving?” She chuckles from her own joke and removes her glasses from her face, folding them neatly and putting them on the arm of her chair.

  Although I’m standing in the doorway between the hall and living room, it doesn’t take her long to work out that something’s wrong, and I am in need of her advice.

  “Oh boy,” she sighs, closing the magazine and stuffing it down the arm of the chair for later. She gets up and crosses the room, her arms spread wide, welcoming me into a motherly embrace.

  I don’t fight it.

  “I recognise this look. I’m going to start worrying about you again, Alex. I’ve heard about what happened from your sister, but I didn’t think it would knock you this hard.” She rubs my back reassuringly and pats gently as she pulls away. “Come on. I’ve got some lovely Battenberg cake in the cupboard. You look like you need a slice to cheer you up.”

  I don’t know about a slice. I feel like I might need the entire loaf to overcome the guilt I’m feeling. But as always, I can rely on mum to spot a problem. Nothing ever slips past her watchful eyes, and for that I’m grateful.

  I follow her into the kitchen and take a seat at the breakfast bar while she cuts me a slice of cake and pours me a glass of juice. There haven’t been any words from my lips yet, but she seems to know exactly what’s wrong and how to handle me.

  “Now,” she starts, sitting down beside me. “Forget about everything that has happened. Tell me how you are feeling. That’s all that counts right now.”

  Taking a bite of cake, I chew the chunk of marzipan slowly and think my answer through.

  “I feel guilty about how she found out,” I admit quietly. “I don’t want to be without her, but then again, I don’t know what we’d be like if we were together again. I think, I think my feelings for her are still as strong as ever.”

  The pressing weight in my chest releases, and I feel instant relief.

  “I wanted to hurt her for everything. It was supposed to be easy, but instead I’m concerned I’ve let her back in. It’s only been a week, but I’ve enjoyed being around her.”

  Mum grasps my hand and squeezes it. “Let it out. You’ve both got a lot of history, so I know this is hard.”

  I smile gratefully and squeeze back.

  Although mum and I have a close but frustrating relationship at times, I know no matter what she’s always here. She always has her ears open for whatever’s happening in both mine and Alice’s lives. We can tell her anything, and she usually reserves judgement unless absolutely necessary.

  I mean, after our dad walked out and I had to step up and look after my family, I thought I was strong and untouchable; I was becoming a
man.

  When in reality, I was still a kid.

  A young eighteen year old boy and I had the weight of a family on my shoulders. Not that I would change it. Our family is close for a reason and that’s because we stick together. We have our arguments like everybody else, but we always find our way back.

  “I slept with her,” I finally confess. “She got really upset and I selfishly used it against her. I thought it’d help me succeed, but it trapped me instead.”

  “Would you have gone through with this plan in the end?” Mum asks, her expression softening.

  I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I can’t justify doing that to her. It’d be different with somebody else, but not Libby.”

  “This was always going to end badly, Alex. You should’ve had a bit more sense. Not only have you played with that girl’s feelings, but you’ve put your business on the line as well now.”

  Picking up the glass of juice, I take a sip. “I know.”

  “You’ve upset your sister as well. She won’t speak to that girl because of what she did to you. But you shouldn’t have put her in that position to start with.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Mum sighs. “It’s not me you need to apologise to.”

  “I know. But I’m not sure Alice will want to talk anyway.” I heave a sigh. “I’m working at home for a few days, so I’m going to do some research and bounce back. We’ve got some fierce competition with some bloke called Oakley that’s trying to poach our clientele,” I tell her, taking another bite of cake.

  It’s changing the subject, but she has already given me enough to think about for one day. I’ve realised in the short space of time talking to my mother that I’ve cocked up.

  It’s up to me to own up to my mistakes and at least try to put things right. If she chooses to hear me out, then I guess that’s a bonus.

  “Oakley?” Mum screws up her face and thinks deeply. “Why does that ring a bell?”

  “I don’t recognise it. Probably to do with one of the ladies down the community centre. You know how you oldies like to have a gossip,” I tease with a playful wink.

  It earns me a light slap on the shoulder. “Behave, you! I’m not as old as I look. I’m still a spring chicken inside.”

  “Okay.” I smile but don’t catch her eye when I eat the last of the cake from my plate. “Well, thanks for the chat and cake. I’m gonna head home for a bit.”

  Mum walks me to the door and I kiss her on the cheek. “Make sure you speak to your sister. She’s upset, but she’ll always be there to support you.”

  “I know.” I head for my car. “See you soon, yeah?”

  ~

  After seeing mum, it doesn’t take too long to drive back home. I park the car in the underground car park of my building and greet Jeffery earlier than he is expecting.

  “Don’t mind me,” I say, getting in the lift. “I’m working from home and trying to relax a little for a few days.”

  “Long overdue, Mr. Lewis,” he replies, selecting my floor on the panel.

  Surprisingly, since I’ve gotten everything off my chest, I feel a load better. I’ve finally convinced myself that I’ve been trapped in a stink hole of denial for the last seven years with Libby being the one and only reason.

  And now that I have access to her, I’ve gone and screwed the whole thing up. I’ve blown any chance of getting her to open up. Shit, I’ll be lucky if she ever wants to speak to me again.

  She’ll probably slap me the next time she sees me. Although, I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I’ll deserve everything.

  But I do still need to find the answer to my one question. It’s bugged me virtually every day since she left.

  What prompted the divorce?

  What were our irreconcilable differences?

  Stepping off the lift on my floor, I beep myself into my apartment and kick off my shoes. Heading for my office, I don’t waste any time in logging onto my laptop and checking if I have any further word from Benedict on Libby’s camp.

  Nothing.

  I have half a mind to just drive over and demand she sees me, but I know it isn’t going to help anything. I’m at the mercy of others and I can’t stand it. My head is going absolutely crazy. I have fingers that are itching ... they can’t release.

  I need to do something.

  Anything.

  So I grab my phone and call my sister.

  “What do you want?” Alice laughs when she answers the phone. “Finally have the time to speak to me?”

  “I’m at home. Why don’t you come over?”

  Alice snorts. “At home? You don’t take days off work.”

  “I’m not off. I’ve got some stuff going on, so I thought it would be better to work away from the office.”

  “It kicked off with you and Libby, right?” Alice clucks down the phone as I release a sigh. “So you let Sean talk you into leaving the office. I didn’t think you had it in you. How about I come round and we watch some films together?” she suggests a little too excitedly.

  “Don’t you have to work?” I ask, almost certain that her business isn’t profitable enough for her to be taking afternoons off when she feels like it. “And I’ve still got some reports that I need to do.”

  “It’s fine. All of the girls are mobile today, so the shop is closed. And I could do with a break. I haven’t worked this hard in a long time.” She puffs out a long, dramatic breath before pressuring me once again. “So films, yeah?”

  “As long as it’s not Love Actually,” I groan.

  “I’ll see you in half an hour. You know that’s what I’m going to want to watch,” she giggles, disconnecting the call.

  With a roll of my eyes, I put down my phone and log into my e-mails to do some bits and bobs till she arrives. I’m going to try and have an afternoon without work, but I know I won’t resist for too long. The urge always presents itself and I can’t keep away. Hopefully, I’ll have some more information from Benedict and Sean to keep me at bay. If not, they know they’ll have a fucking riot on their hands.

  ELEVEN

  It has been twenty-four hours.

  One very long day separates the last e-mail I received from Benedict. And even that was pathetic. He had e-mailed me last night after Alice and I had watched that God-awful romantic comedy she has obsessed about for the last few years, but he didn’t provide me with anything informative; nothing of any real substance to put my mind at rest.

  I’m still hanging in mid-air.

  He had updated me as such that he had made contact with Libby’s solicitor to try and drop the fraud accusations, but that was pretty much it. There hasn’t been a word on how she’s doing, nor have I heard anymore on that bastard who is trying to run my business into the ground. And I also haven’t heard from Sean on how the other projects are going.

  It’s ten in the evening on a shitty Tuesday. I’m on day two of my supposed remote working and I’m in full blown meltdown mode. I’m sitting in my office, my fingers tapping the side of my desk as I watch hawk-eyed on my inbox for that little ping of light.

  But there is nothing.

  Nada.

  Not even a junk e-mail to tell me my dick is too small, or for me to find some local bitches in my area desperate for a shag. I’m literally, Billy-fucking-no-mates, and it’s a load of bullshit.

  Leaning back in my chair, I put my hands behind the back of my head and close my eyes. It’s only for a couple of seconds though as I’m immediately diving forward at the chime of my inbox and a new message.

  “Shit.” I curse under my breath when I see the subject heading about being mis-sold PPI.

  Bloody junk mail.

  But then there is another ping and it is an e-mail from Benedict with Sean copied in. I open it and scan the contents. There is still no word from Libby’s camp and we are no closer to finding out about this Oakley bastard, but on the plus side it appears there is a contract for me to review for another of my deals going through. So at least they’
re doing something right.

  Grabbing my phone, I dial my solicitor’s number. Benedict answers after two rings with a bright and cheery greeting of, “Evening, Alex, have you seen my e-mail?”

  “Yes. It doesn’t tell me anything, though. Have you really not heard a thing?” My patience is wearing. I don’t have time for this shit to be anything but top priority.

  “I’ve tried, Alex, believe me. I’m not getting anything from Libby or her solicitors at the minute. And Sean is busy with the Oakley thing. He has a name, but that’s about it.”

  “A name?” I spit, standing from my chair. “You have a fucking name and you didn’t say anything?” The anger is radiating from me like a radioactive glow. “Tell. Me. Now.”

  “Well,” he starts, sounding flustered. “There is a guy called Ryan James who seems to be heading up Oakley Finance and personally going into these meetings—”

  “That is nothing a quick Google couldn’t tell me. I already know about Ryan,” I interrupt. “Tell me something worthwhile.”

  Benedict clears his throat. “We have the name of the sleeping partner in the business, who isn’t actually a sleeping partner, but is in fact a key player in the poaching of our clients. You may want to take a deep breath before I tell you this guy’s name.”

  My interest peaks and I wander over to the window to peer out at the darkened night sky. “Go on.”

  “Dale Oakes.” Benedict goes quiet as the nuclear bomb drops in my head. “Libby’s brother.”

  “What did you just fucking say?” I’m practically shaking from the adrenaline that’s just released into my veins. The pulse in my neck throbs painfully and I slam my fist down on the window sill with brute force. “Tell me she isn’t involved, Benedict. Honest to fucking God, tell me she hasn’t had a part in any of this.”

  Sickness and dread washes over me.

  “I’m sorry, Alex,” is all that Benedict replies with, and I know instantly my theory is correct.

  “Get your arse over here. Bring Sean too,” I snap, disconnecting the call and throwing my phone down on the side. Walking over to my desk, I pick up my leather swivel chair and launch it as hard as I can across the room in anger. “Motherfucker!” I roar, watching as the chair crashes into the wall.