Mendacious

by Beth Ashworth

  She doesn’t look up. “Of course.”

  I hear the door buzz next to me and I slip back into the treatment area. It’s a bit busier back here than it was half an hour ago. There are people whizzing all over the place. Room to room. Patient to patient. The place is like a midmorning rush hour, and I’m wandering through the middle of it like a lost sheep trying to find Libby’s room.

  When I eventually stumble across the right corridor, I step up to the glass window on the door and see Dale with his hand on Libby’s leg. She’s still unconscious by the look of things, and he has his head bowed and away from her.

  “Excuse me.” I manage to collar a nurse who happens to be walking past. “The doctor was going to speak to me about my wife’s results. Is he available?”

  “We are a bit pushed right now, but I’ll let him know you want to speak to him. You can wait in the room with your wife.” She nods briskly and hurries off down the corridor, and I decide to bite the bullet and step into Libby’s room.

  Dale’s head swivels to the door and I sense the immediate tension in the air when he spots me. The atmosphere shifts around us and he fixes me with a venom filled glare.

  “Get the fuck out of here,” he warns with a low and gravelly voice. “I don’t want to see your face.”

  Pushing one hand in my pocket, I cock my head to the side with a smug grin. “The feeling’s mutual. I only wanted to say bye to Libby.”

  I don’t let onto Dale about the miscarriage, although I’m pretty sure he probably already knows. It’s mine and Libby’s business to sort out, and not his.

  “She’s only in here because of you.” Dale gets up from his chair and storms over to me. He lifts his hands as if he’s about to push me, but I grab hold of his fists and stop him in mid-air.

  “Now that’s a bit silly, don’t you think?”

  His expression grows darker, angrier. “I’m going to ruin you,” he threatens.

  “Oh yeah?” I push him back and wait for him to charge again. “Like you ruined your sister?” He stops in his tracks, his eyes wide, which spurs me on further. “Yeah, I heard you yelling at her. Arguing over something, weren’t you? Then she got mugged and an elbow to the face, and you left her.” It’s a low blow on my part because he was only following Libby’s instruction, but I want him to feel the guilt.

  Dale scrunches his eyebrows before narrowing his eyes. “You don’t even know the half of it.”

  “So, enlighten me then,” I bait.

  He turns toward his sister, his face softening, before he looks back at me and the hatred returns. “We were arguing over you.”

  “Me?” I can’t keep the surprise off my face.

  “Yes,” Dale snaps, and I notice his hands clench into fists again. “We had a fucking plan. Everything was mapped out to perfection. Ivy got a job at your place and Libby sowed the seed with the investment opportunity. Between us, we had a plan to destroy you.”

  I shrug. “So what changed?”

  “She changed!” he roars, throwing his arm behind him.

  “As soon as you came back on the scene, I noticed something different about my sister. I kept trying to remind her of the past. Trying to bring back the old memories to make her remember, but it didn’t work. She was falling again, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. She begged me to give up on the plan, but I didn’t want to.”

  His face morphs while he talks and I find myself intrigued by the true extent of his twisted ugliness that is revealing itself.

  “You are a selfish fuck, and you don’t give a shit about anybody. I swore the moment Libby walked out on you that I would make you pay for every single day she was unhappy. And that I wouldn’t be satisfied until I’d taken everything away from you. But of course, she had to go and throw a spanner in the works—”

  “D-Dale ...” Libby’s low and sleepy rasp echoes around the small room and catches us both off guard. Simultaneously, we turn to the sound of her voice. “S-Stop!” she pleads, her voice cracking with raw emotion. “P-Please stop this!” She tries to sit up, but struggles, letting out a pained cry.

  “My God, Libby!” Dale shoots across the room and puts his hand on her leg. “Lie down until we get the doctor. You’ve probably got a concussion. What the hell were you playing at?”

  I don’t move near her. My legs are glued to the floor by the door and I don’t have any intention of moving. She’s awake which gives me some reassurance. But as I stare at her now, weak and frail, lying in this hospital bed, I can’t stop the bubbling resentment in the pit of my stomach.

  Seven years ... Seven long years I’ve been waiting for answers. And now that I’ve uncovered them, I wish I hadn’t. She has lied to me for all this time, with something so big, I don’t know how I can look past it.

  “Are you gonna leave or what?” Dale challenges when he catches me just standing there. “She doesn’t need you, Alex, and it’s time you realised that.”

  My jaw tenses.

  “Dale, stop, please,” Libby begs. “He was the one who called the ambulance for me. If Alex hadn’t been there—”

  “I’m fucking sick of this.” Dale snatches his hand away from Libby and glares between us. “So what, just because he’s rich, now you want him back in your life? I knew you were shallow, but I thought you had some decency, Libby,” he spits. “What about all the nights when he didn’t come home? And all the weekends he spent away? Then the phone calls and text messages he didn’t bother returning? Remember what he was like. You hated him.”

  Tears stream down Libby’s cheeks and a sob rips from the back of her throat. “I don’t deny any of that. But look at me now, Dale.” She tilts her head to him, her eyes wide. “Look at me,” she urges. “I have never moved on following our divorce, and I’m not sure I ever will. We are supposed to be soul-mates.”

  My face softens at her confession, but it is short-lived.

  “But you hate the bloke!” Dale shouts across the room in my direction. “You hate him for everything he did to you. He wasn’t there for you while—”

  Libby emits a high pitched screech and clutches the side of her head in obvious pain. “You don’t say anything else!”

  And then I realise what is going on here. She is still trying to hide it from me. She doesn’t know that I’ve seen her medical records. She doesn’t know that I’m aware of the miscarriage. But I’m not going to say anything. I want Libby to tell me about it herself. This secret she has been harbouring for so long needs to finally come out.

  “He doesn’t know?” Dale offers Libby an incredulous stare. “You never told him?” he asks her quietly.

  Libby closes her eyes as silent tears course over her already wet cheeks. “I didn’t tell him ...”

  “Tell me what?” I inquire firmly, finding my voice. “What’s going on?” My acting is top notch here. Neither of them suspects a thing from me.

  “It’s nothing,” Libby mumbles.

  “Like heck it’s nothing,” Dale snaps, rubbing his hand across his forehead. “I can’t believe you never told him. Fucking hell, Libby. What were you thinking?”

  “I don’t know,” she confesses with a deep sigh.

  “Umm ... what’s going on?” I ask again, stepping closer to the bed. “Is there something I should know?”

  “Dale—” Libby starts but doesn’t get to finish.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Please.”

  He remains quiet for a couple of seconds before his shoulders sag and he nods. “I’ll be right outside the door.” He eyes me cautiously when he walks past and heads outside.

  “What have you got to tell me?” I repeat yet again, standing at the foot of her bed. My heart rate picks up and a cool shiver slithers across the back of my neck, making me hyper aware of what’s about to happen.

  Come on, Libby. Open up to me.

  My head urges her to do the right thing, and I find myself waiting with bated breath as she scrunches up her face and finds the courage she needs.


  “Alex,” she whispers, trying to catch sight of me. “I probably should have told you, but I had a miscarriage while we were married.” I close my eyes and throw back my head from the pain of the blow she delivers. Her words hurt me far more than the notes I read; they fucking break me apart. “I’m so sorry,” she whimpers.

  Her apology feels almost useless as it flies completely over my head.

  My body feels numb.

  I should be grateful that she finally found the courage to tell me after all this time, but I’m not. She was forced into this because of the situation she’s in, and not because she wanted to tell me.

  “Please say something.” Libby’s voice is a minuscule squeak that manages to cut through me with the power of a chainsaw.

  “What do you expect me to say?” I shrug, my face now devoid of all emotion. I’m keeping everything inside because I don’t want her to see my vulnerability. I don’t want her to know how much she has split me apart.

  I feel my heart hardening as I stare at her. And that is when I know that we are coming to a natural end right now. This must be it. Her secret was the final nail in the coffin on what has been the hardest and shittiest time of my life.

  It fucking hurts like hell, but I know we aren’t good for each other, at all. If I’m going to save myself, then I need to push this woman away, no matter how conflicted my heart feels over my decision.

  We have come to the point of no return. What we have is irreparable and I know this now. There is no way we could come back from all of the lies and deceit. It has to be over between us for both of our sakes. We both need to move on with our lives. We don’t have the opportunity of a second chance. What’s done is done.

  “I want you to say something,” Libby pleads with me. “Please, Alex, say something! Don’t shut me out like you did seven years ago.”

  “So that’s why you left? You thought I was shutting you out?” I don’t recognise the raw and croaky sound of my own voice, and I instantly regret showing her how weak I am.

  “Yes. You did, Alex,” she sobs. “You didn’t even know I was pregnant, or that I’d had a miscarriage.”

  “You didn’t tell me,” I choke out.

  “I get that I didn’t tell you, but when did I have chance? You were never there with me. We had sex a couple of times a week when you eventually came home from work, and then you would be asleep soon after, and the whole cycle would start again. I felt trapped in a bubble with no way out. Your life has always been about work, and not me.”

  My heart thuds out of my chest and I feel a dry scratchiness in my throat. I had no idea Libby felt like this while we were married. And, honestly, it makes me feel like absolute shit to hear this now, knowing there is nothing I can do to change it.

  “But you never said anything to me. You left me. And now I know you gave me some bullshit reason as to why. It was never about the money, right?”

  She slowly shakes her head. “It was never about the money, Alex. I just wanted you. It was always only you. And then, when I fell pregnant, it was like a glimmer of hope.” Her sobs come thick and fast and I watch her hands drift down to her stomach. “That baby was supposed to bring us together. I’d hoped and prayed so much for that baby to save our marriage. But it didn’t.”

  I feel moisture pricking my eyes as Libby rubs her stomach.

  “Losing that baby was the final breaking point for me. I knew there was no way we could continue living as we were.”

  “So you just left?” I ask quietly.

  “I didn’t have a choice, Alex. My mind was a mess. I couldn’t look at you. Or speak to you. I just wanted out of this bubble I’d consumed myself in.”

  “When did it happen?”

  She looks at me, her face puzzled. “W-What?”

  I nod at her hands massaging her middle. “When did you … Um, lose the baby?”

  The instant the words leave my lips, I see Libby shutdown. She turns vacant. Empty even. And I sense I’ve pushed her too far.

  “Libby?”

  Her eyes meet mine, but all I see is instant lifelessness. The sparkling aquamarine I’ve always loved turns dull and grey.

  “Libby?”

  I step to the side of the bed and touch her stomach. Silently, the tears continue to seep down her tear drenched cheeks, splattering on the pillow.

  “It’s okay,” I say softly, “you don’t have to tell me.”

  She shakes her head. “It happened not long after we had that big argument and I went to stay with my parents. I just started spotting a little and thought it was fine. But about an hour later, it all just came away from me.” I nod with understanding when she pauses and bites her lip. “Mum called an ambulance, but I already knew I’d lost the baby. And I was right. The doctor confirmed it and told me it was something about the chromosomes during fertility, and to go home and rest.”

  “You should have called me.”

  “I was upset with you as it was, and I just wanted to be alone. You were always too busy, and I forever wondered if I was bothering you,” she confesses.

  “I would have been there in an instant, Libby. You were always my number one. Even if it didn’t come across that way, you were always the top priority in my life. Everything I was doing at work was for us.”

  “I didn’t feel it from you, Alex. You submerged into your work and cast me aside,” Libby replies, clearly not getting where I’m coming from.

  But it doesn’t matter. Clearly she has her mind made up, and so do I. We are both in the wrong in each other’s eyes, so there is no use in trying to change either of our opinions.

  “I’ll go and get Dale,” I suggest, realising we aren’t going to get any further today with our conversation.

  Libby whispers a barely audible, “Okay.” And then turns her head away from me to look at the monitor hooked to her finger.

  Dismissed, hey?

  ~

  Stepping into the hallway, I spot Dale leaning against a nearby wall, his eyes focused in my direction. I think I’m supposed to feel intimidated by his heated glare, but I’m not.

  “You done?” he asks, pushing off the wall and heading for me. “Did she tell you?”

  I nod. “She told me everything. I don’t agree with her reasons, but we have our own views on that.” He looks past me to catch a glimpse of Libby through the window. “She’s a bit upset, so you may wanna go and see her,” I finish up.

  “And what are you gonna do?”

  “Wait outside. I want to know what the doctor says and whether she needs to stay in or not.” I realise once I’ve said it that I’m possibly caring too much.

  But it’s Libby.

  And it’s not like I didn’t have other ideas on my mind when I left the house earlier this evening. I was coming out on a mission to track her down and convince her that we should be together. But of course it all went down like a lead balloon. I learned that I was, at one point, almost going to be a father.

  It’s a hard pill for me to swallow.

  “Mr. Lewis?” I look up at the mention of my name and find one of the doctors from earlier holding a clipboard and nodding toward Libby’s door. “I’m going to speak with Mrs. Lewis.”

  “Yes, of course. This is Elizabeth’s brother. I’m sure she won’t mind us being in the room with you,” I say, following behind him back into the room.

  “Mrs. Lewis?” The doctor steps over to the monitor and checks the readings before turning to her with a smile. “Do you mind your husband and brother being in here?”

  Surprisingly, Libby doesn’t pick up on the husband comment, and simply nods. Either that or she is choosing to ignore it.

  “Well, I have your results back,” the doctor starts, flipping open his file and scanning his eyes down the reports. “I’m going to prescribe you some painkillers, and you’ll need to take it easy over the next few days while you recover. These falls can really knock you about, and it will take a good few weeks for the bruising and swelling to go down. But the goo
d news is that the wound on your head isn’t too deep, so you won’t need stitches for it. Just keep the bandages on for now and change them every twenty-four hours. I guarantee you’ll be back to normal in a couple of weeks.”

  “Thank you,” Libby mumbles quietly.

  I turn to the doctor and stretch out my hand. “Thank you. That’s great news to hear.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” Dale agrees, but I notice the doctor isn’t making any effort to leave just yet. He watches us but his eyes occasionally drift down to his report.

  “Is that everything?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  The doctor clears his throat. “Actually ... I do have something else to discuss with Mr. and Mrs. Lewis.” He motions toward Dale and subtly suggests for him to leave the room.

  “I’m going nowhere,” he mutters, folding his arms over his chest. “You got something to say then you say it in front of me as well.”

  “Mrs. Lewis,” the doctor asks, “do you want me to continue?”

  “Yes,” she answers.

  He nods and looks between us. “We have the results from your bloods, and everything came back normal—”

  “Why do I think there is going to be a but here?” Dale interrupts, fixing the doctor with a glare.

  “Shut it.” My mouth opens and I snap without thinking. Thankfully, Dale doesn’t react like I expect, and he just stands there. Waiting.

  We are all waiting.

  “As I was saying, the blood results have come back clear, but there was something else that came to our attention.”

  I find myself leaning forward at this point, not sure of what I’m about to be told. It could be something bad. I mean, what if something’s happened?

  “You’re pregnant, Mrs. Lewis.”

  SIXTEEN

  Blinking rapidly, I try and digest the news. But it isn’t sinking in. I’m still teetering on that fine line between denial and realisation, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be feeling.

  Lifting my hand to my face, I rub across my jaw to try encouraging my stagnant blood to flow. Everything in my body appears to have stopped dead in its tracks. My heart feels as if it is beating a million miles an hour, and I’m struggling to suck oxygen into my lungs.