Paper Chasers

by Mark Anthony

  “There ain’t no way, yo. I’m sayin’, them niggas uptown ain’t stupid,” Dwight said. “They’re gonna frisk us before they even let us in the apartment. So we ain’t tryin’ to go up in their piece with heat. Forget about it. We can’t take no gun. If they frisk us and find the gun, then they’ll think that we had plans on snaking them, and it’s our first time buying from them, so we don’t need that kind of first impression. I mean, we can take guns, but we’re gonna have to stash them in Xavier’s car. Randy, I’m telling you, it just won’t look right if we try to go up in there with guns on us. Besides, Bunny will be with us and she knows them, so they ain’t gonna jerk us.”

  For some reason I sort of agreed with Randy. But I didn’t say anything. I mean, going into a major drug dealer’s apartment uptown, with no heat in our waistbands, I didn’t know about that. As wild as those Harlem cats were, they were liable to kill Dwight and Bunny. And it wasn’t like our crew had a reputation throughout New York, a reputation that carried some weight and would help to protect us. Aside from our family and friends, nobody had really heard of our crew. As far as street thugs were concerned, the illest crews in Queens at the time were The Supreme Team and The Lost Boyz. If Mob Style sensed that we weren’t really live, they would gladly take all of our loot and then take our lives, and they wouldn’t lose a night’s sleep in the process. “Let’s get up outta here,” Dwight concluded.

  We paid our bill and departed from the restaurant.

  “Holz,” Dwight said as we were driving home in a cab, “when we get home you call X and get him to take us uptown tonight.”

  “Nah, let Latiefe do it,” I said. “Latiefe is more convincing than I am.”

  “Yo, if Latiefe does the asking, X is gonna know that we’re up to something no good,” Randy commented.

  “True,” I said. “A’ight, I’ll ask him.”

  Once we reached our block, some of the crew members departed and went their separate ways. The rest of us, including myself, went to parlay at Randy’s crib.

  “Yo, Holz, Xavier’s car is outside. Call that nigga right now before he leaves or something,” Dwight said as we all sat around watching music videos.

  “Yo, Randy, where’s the phone at, man?” I asked.

  “It’s under that pile of clothes over there.”

  “Got damn . . . Randy, why don’t you ever clean your room? This place is nasty!”

  “Holz, go to hell! I’ma clean it! But matter of fact I should make one of y’all big-greasy-farting-ass-burping-forty-ounce-drinking-weed-smoking-no-dough-having niggas clean it for me! Y’all are always over here like y’all live here or something, so I’m sayin’ that’s why it stays looking like this.”

  We all laughed at that.

  “Be quiet, be quiet, the phone is ringing,” I said.

  “Hello,” someone on the other end answered.

  “Hello, can I speak to Xavier?”

  “Hold on a minute . . .”

  “Hello.”

  “Yo, what’s up, X?”

  “Who is this? Holz?”

  “Yeah, man,” I replied.

  “Yo, what’s up, Holz?”

  “I’m chillin’, kid. Yo, where you been at, X? We ain’t seen you in a minute.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ve been studying. This school work ain’t no joke. All these damn calculus equations, nonsense like X to the Z hypotenuse over the IA perpendicular coordinates to the 2,9,7, parallel lines! Yo, it ain’t no joke.” I laughed.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean, kid. Just stick with it, though, ’cause you’re you’re almost finished, and it’ll pay off in the long run. This is your last year, right?”

  “Nah, I was supposed to get out in May, but I messed up my freshman year. So I probably won’t graduate until December.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Well that’s OK ’cause you got skipped in junior high school just like I did. Man, X, I finished high school when I was sixteen-years old, I could have had my degree by the time I turned twenty if I had not stopped going to college. I’m sayin’, I could have been a full fledged doctor by the age of twenty-four. That’s ill, right? I could have been like Doogie Howser, you knaaimean? But, X, you’re doing the right thing, ’cause you’ll be twenty one when you get your degree. And, yo, make sure you get that degree, kid! Word is bond. We need more educated brothers. Like I said, the studying that you’re doing right now, it’ll pay off in the end.”

  “Yeah, I hope so,” Xavier said. “Yo, Holz, you going back to school in September or what?”

  “I don’t know, X, ’cause I can’t concentrate and go straight through school like I want to. You know? I mean I can’t do like you’re doing. There’s just always too many interruptions and distractions in my life.”

  “You can do it, Holz. I’m telling you,” Xavier encouraged.

  “Yeah, I’m gonna finish, no doubt about that. That’s if I don’t get killed or something ill like that,” I said as I started laughing. “But, yo, before I forget, what are you doing tonight?” I asked while trying to change the subject and get to the point of my call.

  “I’ll be in the crib just chillin’,” X answered.

  “So, yo, X, since you won’t be doing anything, why don’t you drive us uptown to Bunny’s crib? All of her sisters and her friends are gonna be there. Yo, X, cuties with booties are gonna be everywhere, kid!” I added that in an attempt to gas the situation.

  “I’ll go, but I can’t stay that long ’cause I have to wake up for church in the morning,” X replied.

  “Yeah, OK, no problem. We’ll leave about eightish and get there at about eight thirty. We’ll bug out with them for a little while and we’ll be back home by like eleven tonight, twelve the latest. A’ight?”

  “Yeah, I’ll go. Just come get me when y’all get ready,” Xavier instructed.

  “Bet. Good lookin’ out, X. One love.”

  I proceeded to tell everyone that was in Randy’s crib that Xavier had cooperated and he was willing to take us to Manhattan.

  At that point it was around two in the afternoon. We weren’t planning on leaving until eight, so that meant that we all had free time to ourselves. Of course, any and all free time that I had, I would try to spend it with Sabine, or at least talk to her on the phone.

  So I headed to the store real quick and I got some beer and went back to the crib and drank bottle after bottle and when I started feeling real nice I called Sabine and we talked for a very long time. She wondered why I hadn’t been spending as much time with her lately.

  “Mark, are you cheating on me?” she asked.

  “Nah, come on with that,” I said with a chuckle. After I chuckled there was a brief moment of silence. I decided to break that silence with a little revelation. And I know that it had to be the liquor talking for me because I don’t know why I basically dropped dime and told on myself.

  “I mean, yes, Sabine. As a matter of fact, I am cheating on you, baby. That’s right, I have a new love in my life—two new loves at that. You wanna know their names? Their names are cocaine and marijuana. And they can give me what no other woman can, and that’s lots of money.”

  “Mark, I know you’re joking, right?” Sabine said sternly.

  I tried to explain to her, but she wouldn’t even let me get a word in edgewise.

  “Sabine . . .” I said as I was angrily cut off.

  “Mark, are you serious?”

  “Yeah, but . . .”

  “But nothing, I don’t wanna hear it! Mark, if you’re involved in that . . . Mark, all I’m sayin’, if you are, then you know I’m gone, right?”

  “Yeah, baby, but I have to do it,” I said trying to sound desperate. “I wanna make some money.”

  “Mark! . . . What! . . . Is! . . . Wrong! . . . With! . . . You!? You’re not even thinking about your future! So if you won’t think about it, I’ll think about it for you. Mark, I love you. You say that you love me but . . .” I rudely interrupted her.

  “I do love you, Sabine!” />
  “No, you don’t! You probably lust for me. That’s about it.”

  “What the hell are you talking about!?” I asked. “I just wanna make some money. Damn! What’s wrong with that?”

  “Mark, what about college?”

  “What about it? Forget school!” I was letting my emotions carry me away. I knew in my heart that I wanted to go back to school, and I knew that Sabine was right.

  “Mark, you know what?”

  “No, let me tell you what!” I said angrily. “Sabine, I’m doing this. I don’t care! I’m getting into the drug game no matter what! Besides, there’s no way that I can get out of it now even if I wanted to.”

  “Mark, I love you. And you know I’ll always love you. But your head must be screwed on backward because you seem to be straight forward about what you wanna do. Mark, I’ll tell you like the Bible says, ‘Warn a decisive person once, warn them twice, and then have nothing to do with them.’ See, Mark, if you’re gonna be stubborn about what you want to do, then fine. But from this point on, it’s over. You have your mind made up and I can’t be with you if you’re gonna be doing something negative with your life.” After saying that, Sabine sounded as if she was beginning to cry.

  “Mark, don’t be a fool,” she said. “Don’t waste your life away.”

  I didn’t respond. Although I knew she was only trying to look out for my best interests, I had to play like a hard rock tough guy.

  “Mark, you better call me to let me know how you’re doing,” Sabine said, breaking the silence.

  Then there was more silence. And before I knew it Sabine started crying a little bit harder.

  “Mark, I hope that I won’t have to come to your funeral, ’cause I love you too much . . . OK baby? . . . I’ma go ’cause I can’t talk when I’m crying like this. Take care,” she said as she passed a kiss through the phone. Then she gave me one last reminder. “Please, please be careful, boo.”

  After she hung up the phone, I stood in shock with a cordless phone in my hand. I couldn’t believe what had just transpired. For the first time in two years, Sabine and I had just had our first major argument and disagreement. I had actually let my girl just walk. After two years, I gave her up at the blink of an eye for the greed that was inside of me. As much as I loved her, I had just let her walk away from me with no qualms. And although I hoped otherwise, I knew in my heart that this was an indication of what the drug game would bring—separation from my loved ones.

  Drugs . . . Money . . . What was happening to me?

  I decided to just lie down and relax. But before I knew it, I was knocked out. When I woke up I was in a daze. I felt like I had hibernated or something.

  Yo! What time is it? . . . I didn’t mean to get that comfortable, I thought as I groggily woke up.

  It was seven o’clock and I decided to call Dwight and Latiefe so that we could get ready to bounce.

  We got ahold of Xavier and in a flash we were ready to roll. To Xavier’s complete unawareness, I had a .22 caliber handgun on me. Tee had a snub-nosed .32, and Dee had close to eleven thousand dollars in his pockets.

  Off to Manhattan we went. We took the Van Wyck Expressway to the Grand Central Parkway, which took us over the Triborough Bridge, then finally we reached Harlem, USA. We navigated through the streets of Harlem until we reached East 110th Street, the street on which Bunny lived. We parked the ride, got out, and entered Bunny’s building. We got on the elevator and went straight to Bunny’s apartment. We rang the bell and waited. While we waited for someone to open the door, I wondered if Latiefe and Dee were feeling as nervous and as anxious as I was. If they were human, then they had to be experiencing the same feelings that I was.

  “Hey, what’s up, what’s uuup?” Bunny greeted as she opened the door.

  She then expressed her love as one by one she gave us hugs.

  “Xavierrr!” she screamed as she hugged him. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ve been lyin’ in the cut a little something. But, Bunny, you know I’m always thinking about you.”

  “X, please. Don’t try to run that game on me,” Bunny said as she laughed.

  We all sat in Bunny’s living room and talked and bugged out with each other. Bunny’s sisters and her friends had all joined us as we sat and conversed.

  Bunny nonchalantly pulled Dwight to the side and they began talking privately. After about five minutes they returned to the rest of us and joined in on our conversation.

  Dwight and Bunny’s departure from the apartment was soon to follow. No one knew just exactly where they were going, and it wasn’t like their exodus caused a problem. In fact, it basically went unnoticed. Besides, no one noticed because our conversation was so intense. We talked about music, school, and sex. All types of weird and wild questions came up as we talked.

  Before I knew it, I looked at the kitchen clock and it was nearing quarter to ten. Dwight had been gone for about forty-five minutes. I was praying that nothing had gone wrong. I mean I sensed that everything was OK, but I was just a little concerned. After all, forty-five minutes was a long time to be buying dope, not to mention that they only went to an apartment two floors below.

  Relax, Holz, just relax, I kept saying to myself to convince myself that everything was in fact OK.

  As time passed, our conversation started to lose some of its intensity. I was growing tired and restless and I found myself dosing off. With my neck real limp, my eyes would close, then my head would fall either to the side or to the front, then it would snap back into place. After my head would snap, my eyes would pop open. I didn’t know why I was so tired. Maybe it was because of the liquor that we had been drinking, and the weed that we were smoking.

  Finally, at about ten minutes after ten, Dwight and Bunny returned. Dwight was carrying a brown paper bag.

  “Yo, where were y’all at?” Xavier asked.

  “Oh, we went to the store to buy some soda for the Bacardi. We would have been back sooner, but we stopped to see my friend, Linda,” Bunny replied.

  “Well, yo, I don’t mean to be a party pooper or anything like that, but I’m ready to bounce,” Xavier stated.

  Little did Xavier know that his timing for departure was more than perfect. Hopefully Dwight had made the purchase and was carrying the drugs in the brown bag that supposedly had sodas in it. If he was, then we too were ready to leave because we had obtained what we came for.

  “Word,” Latiefe said. “Let’s leave ’cause I’m getting kinda’ tired myself.”

  “Man, y’all niggas from Queens is butt. Y’all can’t even hang! It’s not even eleven o’clock, and y’all are ready to go home and sleep. That’s why Queens is the soft, quiet borough,” one of Bunny’s sisters said. They also didn’t know that the only reason that we came to visit them was so that we could buy drugs.

  “We’ll be back up here soon,” Xavier stated to my surprise. I guess he was trying to defend his manhood or something.

  “When?” they asked.

  “Oh, in a couple of weeks, after I’m done with summer courses.”

  “A’ight, just make sure y’all come back. We’ll be looking out for y’all,” one of them replied.

  “No doubt,” the guys said almost in unison as we kissed all the girls on their cheeks and gave them good-bye hugs before leaving.

  In the elevator X was acting real excited about our visit. I guess you could tell that he didn’t get out much.

  “Yo, Tee,” he blurted, “I love your cousin. Yo, I mean I wanna marry her. Word up! I ain’t joking.” We all laughed.

  “We have to come back up here again soon,” X said.

  As we were driving back across the Triborough Bridge toward home, I looked out of the car window and I saw the New York City skyline. It was beautiful to look at, especially at night when all of the big, tall, exquisite buildings and the bridges were illuminated.

  “I want one of those condos over there,” I said.

  “Holz, keep dreami
ng,” Xavier pessimistically said. “The rent in those buildings is like two thousand a month for a one bedroom apartment.”

  “That ain’t jack!” I said.

  “Yeah, a’ight.” X laughed.

  I had figured along with Latiefe, that Dwight had in fact made the purchase. Being that Xavier was in the car with us, we all knew not to discuss what it was that Dwight had in his hands. We didn’t discuss anything because none of us wanted Xavier to think that we had used him. We also didn’t want him to get nervous because nervous driving would have attracted the police. So our mouths stayed zipped. Although I must admit I had to catch myself one time. I almost let it slip. I was so anxious.

  “Dee, what did you . . . ?” I started to ask. I almost blew up the whole script, but fortunately I caught myself and abruptly stopped speaking in mid-sentence.

  As we arrived on our block, Xavier asked us what our plans were for the rest of the night.

  “We’ll probably just chill at Randy’s crib or something like that,” I informed him.

  After X parked the car, we got out and slapped and clasped X five before bouncing.

  “Y’all be cool,” Xavier instructed.

  We all said good-bye to X. As we approached Randy’s house, Latiefe and I were both filled to the brim with excitement, but Dwight displayed no emotion whatsoever, nor did he say a word. He wouldn’t budge on the subject of what he’d purchased.

  “Call everybody down,” Dwight finally said in a classic Godfather kind of way.

  Latiefe hustled to the phone and started sending for everybody in the crew.

  “Yo, Donnie, what up? This is Tee, we got it . . . Yeah . . . Look, don’t worry about all of that, just come down to Randy’s crib right now! And yo, try to find Erik and the rest of them,” Latiefe instructed.

  More phone calls were made and after about thirty minutes or so, Randy’s basement was filled to the brim with Fourth Crew members. At that point Dwight was finally ready to budge as he continued to speak in Godfather-like tones.