by Dixon, Ruby
My communicator chirps with an incoming call. I groan, wagging a finger at Kim. "We will continue this fascinating conversation momentarily." And I plan on using it as a way to get her to open up to me once more. I saunter over to the vid-panel in the wall and see Bethiah's name pop up.
Just like that, my happy mood dissolves.
There is a problem. There must be. The female has not yet returned for the rest of her bounty from Kim, which I thought was odd. If ever someone was driven by a love of credits, it is that female…and for her to leave them on the table is quite mysterious.
The communicator chirps again.
"Are you going to answer that?" Kim asks, glancing over at me.
"It is no one. An old friend in port I went drinking with," I lie, and then inwardly kick myself. Kim does not like lies. I cannot keep lying to her. I need to tell her the truth. I need—
"Hmph. Well, I'll leave you to it." She hugs her datapad to her chest and lifts her chin, leaving the room.
I breathe a sigh of relief and scramble for the communicator before Bethiah can hang up. I slap a hand on the connection panel, letting it read my fingerprints. "This had better be important, female," I growl at her. "I just lied to my mate again."
"Hello to you, too," Bethiah coos, all fake honeyed sweetness. "And how is you lying to your mate my problem?"
"Because you made me do it." I cross my arms over my chest and glare at the bounty hunter filling the vid-screen. "Spit out your bad news and be done with it."
"Is that any way to talk to a person who's just trying to help you out? I can go, you know." She reaches for a button off panel, as if about to kill the connection.
I growl at her.
"I really am trying to help, you know." She tilts her head. "Well, and help my credit balance, but that's a lovely side bonus."
"What is it? Is he gone? Jamef?"
"What? Oh, yes." She waves a hand in the air. "He took the pieces of our mutual problem and turned it in. The contract is closed, all parties paid. That's not what I'm calling about."
I frown. "You want credits for some reason?"
Bethiah laughs as if I've said the funniest thing ever. "You silly kitty cat. Of course I do. This time, not from you, though." She lifts a finger, pointing at me through the screen. "Here's something funny. Did you know there's a bounty on you?"
My frown deepens to an outright scowl, and the fur on the back of my neck prickles with awareness. "There is?" I feign surprise, as if this is an utter shock to me, and then I stiffen with indignation. "You were looking for bounties on me?"
"Just looking to see what's out there, no more, no less. I wouldn't turn a client in." She smiles far too sweetly for me to trust her. "Not when I know he's flush with money."
And easy enough to blackmail, I add silently. "So why are you sharing this information with me?"
"I just thought it was rather interesting." Her eyes are devious, and she lets her voice trail off, as if waiting for me to provide information.
I do not. Let her tell me all about the bounty on my head. Let her confess that she will try to turn me in as the killer of my old slave-master. Let her just try and collect. I will go fighting every step of the way…
And I will bury her in my field next if she tries anything. So I cross my arms and wait.
Bethiah pouts into the screen. "You're no fun to play games with."
"I do not like your games. Spit out your truth and be done with it already."
She rolls her eyes and gives a gusty sigh. "Praxiians. Biggest spoilsports in the galaxy. All right. Fine. I wanted to see if it was all right with you if I went ahead and collected on it."
"You are asking me if you can turn me over to the authorities? My answer is no."
"No," she corrects. "I'm asking if I can provide information in regards to the whereabouts of a praxiian named Nassakth who was sold into honorable slavery thirty years ago. The ones seeking information are Nassani and Vusakth of some planet I can’t remember. Do those names ring a bell?"
It is not a bounty on my head. It is a bounty of…information.
My parents want to know where I am.
After thirty long years, they wish to re-unite.
* * *
55
NASSAKTH
After I terminate the call from Bethiah, I lean against the communication panel, trying to clear my spinning head.
My parents have put a bounty out for me. They wish to know where I am. The bounty is for any information pertaining to the whereabouts of Nassakth, once of Askorthi Prime. There is a fat bonus leading to direct contact with me, an amount that no doubt drew Bethiah's eye.
I do not know what to do.
Part of me has hungered for family after all these years. My life has been a lonely one. While I was friendly with many other fighters in my owner's stable, or those that I competed with, there was still an undercurrent of competition. We could not fully trust each other, because at any time, we could be sold or end up fighting each other to the death. I have never had a close companion…before Kim.
I have certainly had no family.
But…family is something I have always dreamed of. Have I not spent many nights thinking about Kim and the potential of a family between us? Of having cubs with her? Fierce little daughters and sons with Kim's pretty hair and gentle heart. Or canny, cunning cubs that I can teach to be good fighters, but only if they wish to learn. I would never sell a cub of mine into slavery, no matter the honor it would bring my house.
I should tell Bethiah to ignore the bounty. That I will pay her more to disregard it, or to pass along information that I am dead. The Nassakth of the Askorthi Prime arena circuit is dead to all who ask. I erased all records of my departure and greased many palms to ensure that I would never be found by the authorities…but I did not think about family. I did not think anyone would look for me.
And yet here they are, putting out a bounty and asking merely to reconnect with their son.
I do not know what to think, and I want to talk to Kim, desperately. But she will be mad because I have lied again. I growl at myself, tail swishing. I must confess, and quickly, so the new wound between us can be cauterized quickly. With that thought in mind, I storm out of the room and look for Kim.
I find her, seated upon the lounge chair in the living area, where we normally watch vids together. She has the datapad in hand, her cheeks red as she reads something. When I enter, she jumps to her feet, a guilty look on her face. "For the last time, I'm not writing about you, Nassakth—"
"Kim," I say gravely. "I have made a mistake already."
Her face drains of color and she tosses the datapad down onto the cushions. "Oh god. What's wrong now?"
I take her hands in mine. "I lied about the call. It was Bethiah."
I can feel her tremble, and she does not rip her hands from my grip as I expect. Instead, she takes a steeling breath. "Okay. Thank you for telling me. Why did you lie?"
"I panicked," I admit. "The lie came easier to me than the truth. I knew once it was done I must tell you. I hope you are not too angry."
She gazes up at me with a troubled expression. "I'm a little irked, but thank you for telling me. Now, spit it out—what awful thing has happened now?" Her breath hitches in her throat and she gives me a terrified look. "Is the bounty hunter back?"
I squeeze her hands. "Nothing like that. He has collected the bounty. We do not need to fear him again. This is something different. It is my parents. They want to see me."
Kim tilts her head. "I'm not following. I thought you said it was Bethiah on the call?"
I explain to her the bounty that they have put out, seeking information about me. "The bounty hunter wishes to know if she can collect. If she does, she will put me in contact with my family. I assume they are back on my homeworld, but I do not know for certain." I swallow hard, my tail flicking. "And if I tell Bethiah no, we can disregard the entire matter."
"Your parents," my mate echoes. "You mean the jerk
s that sold you into slavery?"
"Honorable slavery—"
"No," Kim says, bristling. She pulls her hands out of mine and points a finger at my face. "Don't you do that, Nassakth. Don't you defend them."
"It is considered honorable amongst my people," I begin lamely.
Kim cuts in, a furious expression in her gaze. She looks so angry on my behalf. "And did you feel like you were treated honorably? All those years when you starved and got nothing to show for your hard work except a shitty plant? Were you thinking, great, I'm glad I'm living such an honorable life AS A SLAVE on my family's behalf?"
"No."
"And were you thinking about your family's honor when you killed your master and ran away?" She hisses these words under her breath, her expression indignant. "When you had no choice but to do so because he was going to just let you starve? Was that honorable?"
"No…"
As I watch, her hands curl into fists. "Did they ever contact you when you were enslaved? Send you presents? Tell you how proud they were of you? Be there for you in any way?"
I hang my head. "No. But they are family."
"Nassakth." Kim's voice is gentle. Her hands unclench and she puts them on my arms, her thumbs moving against my skin in a comforting—and strangely erotic—touch. "They abandoned you. I don't care if it was for honor. They profited off of your enslavement. You led a life of misery for thirty long years and had to claw your way free. And now they're looking for you? Do they want money? Is that what this is?"
"They are my family," I admit. "If they need money, I will give it to them. They have but to ask."
Kim makes another strangled noise. "So you'll just forget that they abandoned you?"
She is not wrong. Part of me is pleased that she is so vehemently on my side, because it means she still sees us as together, no matter how she feels…and part of me worries. I do not want to drive this wedge between us deeper. I am wary of anything that will interrupt our regular patterns…and this is bound to change things for us. "I know they abandoned me, but they are family," I tell her. I reach out and gently cup her face, and consider it a success that she does not pull away. Instead, she looks up at me with sad eyes.
Her sadness is for me, for what I have gone through, and I want to squeeze her tight and reassure her that everything will be all right.
"I have thought about family a lot," I confess. "Because I want one with you. And part of me wants to see them again. An equally large part of me is confused and angry that they wish to speak to me after thirty years. I am a muddle of emotions, and I do not know what to do. So I turn to you, my mate, because I value your opinion more than anyone else in the universe. Tell me what to do."
"Me? I can't tell you to talk to them or not—"
"It must be our decision together, because it could give our position away. Someone could realize that the Nassakth who farms on Risda III is also the Nassakth that once fought on Askorthi Prime. If I am sensible, I will tell the bounty hunter to forget all of it…and yet when I think about doing so, the words feel like your bread did in my mouth—thick and pasty and unwelcome." I grimace. "Sorry."
Kim lets out a little sigh, and then chuckles. "It's a pretty good analogy." She rubs my arm. "You have such a good heart, Nassakth. To even consider this…"
"Family is important. When I look at you…it makes me realize how much I want one. And perhaps if I talk to them…I can clear my head about my past."
Because Kim is right. No matter how much I tell myself it was honorable slavery, a kernel of resentment burns in my belly. Thirty long years…and they contact me now.
Now that I have a beautiful mate and a fine, prosperous homestead. Now that I am content…and they steal my contentment away.
56
KIM
It's not an answer that should be decided immediately, I tell Nassakth. We agree to sleep on it and discuss in the morning. Nassakth nods in silence, and I can tell that this new information is already eating at him. He's not going to be able to rest until he finds out what his family wants.
I don't rest much, either. Sleeping alone sucks. I feel alone and small and pathetic (and cold) in bed by myself. There's not even blankets to cocoon in, and so most of the time I just toss and turn and stare at the ceiling. I could give in and let Nassakth back into bed, but…I don't trust myself not to crawl all over him like the needy creature I am. My dreams are filled with all kinds of erotic scenarios between us, most of them involving Nassakth and his tongue, Nassakth stroking his cock in the shower while I watch, Nassakth and his big hands on my inner thighs as he pushes them apart…
Yeah. No one's getting any sleep around here. I'm determined not to be a pushover and my praxiian mate is haunted by the demons of his past. It's not surprising when I wake up early for breakfast and see he's already in the kitchen, awake and cooking some of the sweet noodles that I prefer as my morning meal. His mane is tangled, and the thick, flowing fur of his tail looks like a knotted mess. That's unlike him. He sets a bowl down in front of me, and I notice for the first time that his “noodles” are a type of plant that looks and tastes a lot like meat. I'm such a self-absorbed idiot to not notice this before. Of course he's a carnivore. He's a cat. I feel like a bad mate, making him sleep on the floor and eating bread.
But…I'm not ready to say all is forgiven yet. I'm not sure what I'm holding out for, but hopefully I'll know it when I see it.
Nassakth picks at his food as we eat in silence.
I glance over at him as I eat, and when I can't take it any longer, I put my bowl aside. "Have you thought about what you want to do?"
He grunts. "I have thought about it over and over, and still I cannot yet make a decision. Do I see my family again and potentially compromise our location? Will just letting them know that I am alive be a problem? If their motives are honorable, what could they possibly want?" He pokes at his food. "Is it another honor debt that needs to be paid? Or…do they wish to apologize?"
His gaze flicks down and his mouth flattens, and I ache for him. "What's the answer you want to hear?"
My big mate jumps to his feet and begins to pace, tail flicking, hands clasped behind his back. "I tell myself I should not care what happens to them. I tell myself they are part of my past. That this is accepted in our culture and they should feel no shame for what they did…" He looks over at me, and his eyes are sad. "But I want to know if they regretted it. If they missed me when I was gone. If they ever wondered how I was doing." He swallows hard, throat working. "If they were proud of me when I was at the height of my career."
"You need answers. I get it."
Nassakth pauses, his mouth twisting, and then he begins to pace again. "Answers are not worth more than our safety. They are not worth more than our lives here."
I push my bowl away, because I'm not hungry now, either. "Let's assume they're telling the truth. What happens?"
"I talk to them. Perhaps I fly out to visit them at a neutral site." He sighs. "And I get answers. I end the chatter in my head."
"And what happens if they are liars?"
"Our location could be compromised. They could be attempting to flush me out to receive a bounty upon my head."
That would indeed be bad. "Bethiah said this was the only bounty on your head, right?"
Nassakth nods.
"Then let's assume it's not that." I gesture at him. "What other nefarious things could they be up to?"
He paces a bit more in silence, and then tosses himself down in his chair and sighs heavily. "I do not know. My parents were always very honor-bound. My line is a long one with a glorious history even if we did not have much money. They would not risk that by dealing with bounty hunters and thieves. I suspect they would not approve of my life here, in hiding." He pauses. "Or perhaps they would, because my master did not uphold his side of the bargain, either. I do not know." He groans and buries his face in his hands. "I do not know, Kim. I do not have answers to this, and I fear if I do not at least attempt it, I wil
l go mad."
It tears at me inside to see him so troubled. I get to my feet and move to him, brushing my fingers through his tangled mane. To my surprise, he immediately grabs ahold of me and buries his face against my chest, seeking comfort. His arms are tight around me and…it's nice. Real nice.
"If you need answers, then maybe we should get them," I say, voice soft. "If I was in your shoes, I'd want answers, too. If I knew of someone back on Earth that had sold me into slavery, I'd want to ask them why. I'd definitely want to know if they regretted it, or if karma came to bite their asses."
"Karma?" His voice is muffled against my clothing.
"You know, the whole, what goes around comes around? I would want to see if they were hit with misfortune for bringing misfortune on me, but maybe that makes me a bitch."
"It does not. A secret, dark part of me wonders the same with my family," Nassakth mutters. "I try to ignore it, but it is there."
"Then maybe we silence that little voice and get you the answers we seek."
His arms tighten around me. "I do not want to risk you, my mate. Not when you are just now safe and settled. I would not take that away from you."
I stroke his mane. "Then let's not risk ourselves. If we don't want them to find out we're here, we can go elsewhere. Maybe Bethiah knows a place off the beaten path we can meet at, neutrally."
Nassakth stiffens. He looks up at me, his face practically buried between my breasts, which is both erotic and startling, and there is hope on his face. "A space station," he murmurs. "A place that many lawless sorts wander through. It will seem natural for us to be there if I am on the run."
Okay, I wasn't thinking space station. I was thinking maybe heading into port, but a space station works. "As long as it's safe for us—"
"No one will mess with a praxiian," he reassures me. "And they will think you are my pet, and that will keep you safe." He releases me and jumps to his feet. "We can hire the bounty hunter to accompany us as a guide. She will know all the good places to hide out. She will be able to provide us with false identities, too." His face lights up. "Kim, you are a genius!"