FATHER: Men of the Cloth - Tristan (Forbidden Priest Romance 1)

by Lark McCaffrey

  Stomach pitching with disgust, the father recalled being so overcome with fury and lust that in a heated, savage instant he’d wanted to rip down Kady’s jeans, wheel her to the wall, and while pinning her up against it hate-fuck her from behind.

  Disturbed and shaken by the violent image that shamefully even now was making him hard, Tristan tore his fingers over his scalp repeatedly as if that could somehow cleanse his mind of the vile and unconscionable memory. He considered scrapping his plan of tort—toying with her tonight, until he remembered it was no less than what the lying, cheating, backstabbing little whore deserved.

  God forgive me.

  Considering the multitude of sins he’d already been forgiven, the supplication sounded tired and hollow even to Tristan. Yet he knew the God he worshipped and revered was a God who loved his sorry ass no matter what. Who never kept count of his transgressions no matter how high the number, and as long as he was truly repentant would always show him mercy and grace. It wasn’t blind arrogance but humble confidence that made this holy father believe that his Holy Father had one more act of absolution left in Him.

  For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

  He turned to the crucifix looming behind the altar, a beautiful if startlingly realistic depiction of Christ crucified that gave him chills every time he looked at it. For several minutes he stood staring up at the religious representation of suffering and salvation, the symbol of his faith and sole reason for being. With a rueful shake of his head he began drifting toward the front of the church almost reluctantly.

  Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

  As the last dying words of his Redeemer rasped in his ear, he continued to the door to await the arrival of aforementioned little whore. And therein lay his unforgivable sin… For Father Cleary, of course, knew exactly what he was doing.

  ~oOo~

  Kady picked up her pace, clogs clopping down the sidewalk like a Clydesdale on crack. Why’d she think it was a good idea to walk to the church? Because it was such a beautiful, balmy evening and Saint Ben’s was close by? Her red nose and sore feet attested to the exact opposite.

  She’d gone back to wearing her long hair in a topknot, not thinking how it would leave her neck exposed to the elements. And the long, flowy skirt she chose was more suited to a Southern summer than a mid-Western spring. But it was one of the only things she owned that looked halfway feminine. She wasn’t about to borrow any more from Alex’s wardrobe. When Kady told her where she was going tonight and why, her sister insisted on dressing her up again. She refused. If Alex had seen how Tristan looked at her at O’Malley’s she’d understand. Slutty was the only way he saw her.

  With a wistful ache in her heart she recalled how that hadn’t always been the case. There was a time when he bestowed the type of respect on her that bordered on reverence. She was once a madonna to be put on a pedestal. Unlike now, a whore to be put in her place.

  When it came to the physical side of their relationship, he’d shown Herculean restraint. While Kady listened to her friends complain about how their boyfriends were always all hands, Tristan never laid so much as a finger on her.

  Though she never needed to worry about him going too far or too fast or badgering her into having sex before she was ready, Kady often wondered what would’ve happened if Tristan had at least tried putting the moves on her. She honestly didn’t think she would’ve minded. She remembered feeling physically bereft whenever he’d put the kibosh on their canoodling and wished he would cop a feel already.

  But kissing and hugging was as far as it went with Tristan. Even in the pressure cooker that was high school where adolescent hormones raged, kids had easy access to internet porn and shared nude selfies like they used to trade Pokemon cards, he never took it further than first base.

  He wasn’t like other boys. Besides an iron will, he had a higher purpose. Keeping himself chaste for the Lord wasn’t a sacrifice, it was a sacred honor. And she respected that. Respected the fact he respected her. No, really. She did.

  Kady lowered her head and clutched the collar of her denim jacket tight to her neck. Travailing against intermittent gusts of biting wind she forged onward. It was the first week in April and officially spring but Indiana apparently didn’t get the memo. The air was tainted with frost and whenever she exhaled, cold breath clouded her face like puffs of steam.

  Not only was it cold, it was dreary and overcast. And except for a random pedestrian or passing car, Main Street was pretty much abandoned. The sidewalks in Carkeek rolled up by seven pm and walking through the spooky-quiet downtown corridor made Kady feel like the only person on the planet.

  “Hey!”

  A Jeep going in the opposite direction slowed down as it passed her. “Hey, Beautiful.”

  Ignoring the driver yelling for her attention, Kady kept walking. Hurried faster is what she did. Quite a feat considering her legs suddenly felt like cooked lasagna noodles and her breath was threatening to desert her. That guy from the other night had found her, in another dark and deserted place!

  She heard the vehicle screech to a halt. When she glanced over her shoulder and saw it pull a U-ie, Kady gasped in fear. He was coming for her. He was going to finish the job he’d started at O’Malley’s. Hide. She had to hide!

  With her heart hammering out of her chest her eyes darted around for a store or business to duck into. There was one problem with that plan, however, and it was a biggie. Everything was closed. The only places open were bars and restaurants. Most of the fast food chains were on the town’s periphery and there didn’t appear to be a pub in her immediate vicinity. Seventeen. At least that many bars in this hick town and not a single one happened to be nearby? And the church was still a couple blocks away. Now what? Okay, she might make it if she ran.

  Just as Kady was about to take off at a dead sprint, the Jeep pulled up in front of her and parked shy of a street lamp. She was caught in front of Co-Co’s Cut ’n Color and could only stand and watch as the driver’s side door opened. A figure emerged, encased entirely in shadow like some villain from a dark graphic novel, and started slowly toward her.

  She was seconds from screaming when the lone light bulb over the salon’s entryway illuminated the man’s face as he approached.

  “Thought it was you,” she heard him say.

  eighteen

  Recognizing the bartender from O’Malley’s, Kady swallowed the shriek lodged in her throat. Relief was so overwhelming it just about collapsed her. In a loud whisper she exclaimed, “Sebastian!”

  “Hey Beau— Uh, Kady. What’re you doing out here all alone?

  “W-walking.”

  “I see that.” His words were laced with amusement. “Kinda chilly for an evening stroll, though, don’t you think?”

  “I’m going somewhere.”

  Unable to help himself, Sebastian stood staring at her with a ga-ga grin on his face. Dayum but she was a pretty little thing. “Come on, I’ll give you ride.” He reached for Kady’s arm with the intention of escorting her to his car.

  “No.” She shrank back and pulled her jacket tighter to her chest. Tempering her voice she said, “Uh, no, that’s okay. Thanks anyway.”

  As she slinked cautiously around him, giving him a wide berth, Kady could tell by his furrowed brow that he didn’t like that.

  Sebastian didn’t like that she was acting skittish around him. “I’m just offering you a ride,” he said gently.

  “No, no I know.”

  “They’re predicting snow tonight. Half a foot, maybe.”

  “Seriously?” On cue, a few random flakes drifted down, catching on her long eyelashes. “Perfect,” she muttered, blinking them away.

  “So how about that ride?”

  Part of Kady wanted to accept but wariness had become second nature to her. “Thank you again but I don’t have much farther to go.”

  “I’m actually a pretty nice guy.”

  “No, I wasn’t—
”

  “Perfectly harmless, I assure you.”

  “Yes, of course. It’s just—”

  “I have a cat.”

  She stared at him. Well that was unexpected.

  “You can always trust a guy with a cat,” he assured her.

  The look on the bartender’s handsome face was so earnest Kady chanced lowering her defenses a tad. “Is that so?”

  “Her name’s Beatrix. She’s sixteen years old and has two extra toes. Oh, and sharp teeth, which she uses at every opportunity.”

  His attempt at thawing Kady with a heart-warming smile succeeded. “Kevin’s old and ornery, too,” she volunteered.

  A masculine eyebrow quirked in query.

  “My dog,” she clarified.

  “Ah.”

  As awkward silence settled around them, Sebastian resumed his unabashed gawking while Kady openly perused him in return. She decided she liked what she saw. His eyes in particular. They seemed perpetually amused, and kind. Blue? It was too dark to tell.

  Pondering the color, her thoughts unexpectedly narrowed in on another pair of eyes. Green ones. Well, not green exactly. Not exactly gray, either. Eyes that were changeable and fringed with thick, dark tawny lashes that could see straight to her soul as well as reduce her to ash.

  Kady forced focus back on the man in front of her whose admiring gaze she noticed continued to linger. Under Sebastian’s rapt attention she felt shy rather than apprehensive. He wasn’t looking at her in a manner that was lewd or disrespectful. Like a person watching a sunset, he was simply enjoying the view.

  A sudden gust of wind bit her cheeks, leaving them red and stinging.

  “Still insist on walking?”

  She answered Sebastian in the form of a head-to-toe shiver.

  Nodding his head toward his car he said, “Let’s go.” And this time when he reached for her elbow, Kady let him take it. After helping her inside, Sebastian turned on the ignition and cranked the heat but seemed to be in no hurry to get going. His expression turned pensive. Bracing his arms against the steering wheel, he leaned back in his seat and stared up at the headliner. “There’s something I’ve been wondering about.”

  “Um, okay?” she answered warily.

  “Why Kevin?”

  The question caught her off guard but Sebastian’s mock seriousness made her laugh, bringing Kady’s walls down several more increments.

  “I named him after Kevin Bacon,” she confessed.

  “Bacon, huh? Would’ve figured Costner.”

  “I’ve seen Footloose, like, I don’t know how many times. It’s one of my favorite guilty pleasures.”

  Sebastian nodded. “I get it. Mine’s Dirty Dancing.”

  Kady’s brows shot skyward. “Really?”

  He broke into a smart-ass grin. “No, not really. Top Gun, actually. ‘I feel the need… the need for speed.’ ”

  His Tom Cruise needed some work but Kady was starting to like this guy. “Have you seen Cocktail?”

  “Come on.” Tilting his head, he gave her a look that said, hello, I’m a bartender.

  She chuckled. “Right.”

  “So Kevin a mutt?”

  “Pug. Suppose it would’ve been more apropos to have named him Marty. As in Marty Feldman. You know, that actor with the googly eyes?”

  “Sure, Young Frankenstein.”

  “ ‘It’s pronounced Fronkensteen,’ ” she quoted, then giggled like a six year old. “Love that movie.”

  “Comedy classic,” he agreed.

  “So your cat… Why Beatrix?”

  The smile left Sebastian’s face as swiftly as air from a popped balloon. “She belonged to my late wife,” he said solemnly. “Was named for a book or something. Rabbit, I think.” He gazed out the front window as if summoning a memory. “You know…it’s been three years…but the damn thing still yowls at the bathroom door every morning like Clarissa’s in there.”

  Kady didn’t know what to say besides, “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s all right. We—uh, excuse me, what?”

  “I’m sorry about your wife.”

  “Oh God.” Suddenly realizing what he’d said, Sebastian frantically back-pedaled. “No, oh God, no. No, no, no. Did I say late wife? I meant ex. Clarissa’s my ex-wife. We’re divorced.” He started to laugh nervously. “Talk about a Freudian slip. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.”

  Kady stared mutely.

  “Clarissa up and left me one day,” he explained. “Took her purse and her cell phone and walked out the door. Told me I could keep everything in the apartment including, and I’m quoting here, the fucking cat. A cat she raised from a kitten, I might add.” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it. “Been stuck with the hell-born feline ever since.” Suddenly feeling foolish for the oversharing he mumbled, “Shit, sorry. TMI.” Sebastian put the car in first, shifting gears literally and figuratively. “Okay… So where to milady?”

  Still mulling over what he’d told her, Kady had to take a second to think. “St. Benedict.”

  “That big Catholic church?”

  “It’s just around the next two corners, not far at all. So you see, you really don’t—”

  “Now let’s not start that again,” he warned lightly.

  Sebastian was disappointed that she was right. It wasn’t far and took only minutes for him to deliver Kady to her destination. Damn, he wished they had more time together. He could have easily spent the entire night just talking with her, a first for him with a woman.

  Kady was pleasantly surprised to realize how much she was enjoying the bartender’s company. Being with him felt comfortable. Like cozy-blanket or fuzzy-slippers comfortable. Being easy to talk to might be a requisite skill of his profession, yet she didn’t get the impression Sebastian was just shooting the breeze with her. The story about his ex-wife told her he was a man who had no problem showing vulnerability. Unlike some people she knew.

  It was a refreshing change to be with someone who didn’t have a twenty-foot wall erected around him. Who could communicate by more than just barking or growling at her. A man who could offer her something other than a disparaging word or withering look. Who didn’t think of her as a good-for-nothing whore or treat her like last week’s garbage. Yessiree, definitely a refreshing change.

  “Midnight Mass or something?”

  “Um, yeah,” Kady mumbled, flushing at the fib.

  The parking lot was empty, a thin layer of snow already blanketing the asphalt.

  “Looks like you’re the first one here.”

  “Wanted to make sure to get a good seat,” she lamely joked.

  They swapped smiles before Kady looked away. Sebastian wasn’t ready for her to leave, and the fact she wasn’t making any move to get out was encouraging.

  “So you Catholic? Duh, never mind. Dumb question.”

  “Not a very good one, I’m afraid. You?”

  “Agnostic. Or as my old man likes to say, an atheist with no balls.”

  They sat in the Jeep, engine running. Neither saying much yet acting like they didn’t want their interlude to end. As to their reasons, each one was quite different. While Sebastian was reluctant to part ways because he was fast developing a crush on the girl, Kady was simply stalling for time to avoid facing Tristan. She didn’t want to get out of the car for the same reason a condemned man was in no hurry to get to the gallows.

  Kady rubbed her palms over her thighs. Since they first arrived she’d been fighting sweaty hands and heart palpitations, acknowledging her nervousness was as much from anticipation as fear. But did those trace elements of excitement layered in with the trepidation mean she was a masochist, or simply messed-up? And how to explain the fluttering in her stomach? Kadence wanted so much, so much, to attribute the butterflies to the attractive man sitting next to her. She hated that they were there because of someone else. Someone not nearly as nice. Or deserving.

  “So how ’bout it?”

  She was looking out her side win
dow, not at the snow flurry that had since turned into a snow shower but at the church’s front doors. She thought about what lay in wait for her on the other side and what she was going to attempt. Beard the lion in his den.

  “Kady?”

  She turned her head. It was obvious by her vacuous look that she hadn’t heard a word Sebastian had said.

  “I asked if I could take you out for coffee sometime.”

  Oh. She hadn’t expected that. But then, in their brief time together she’d learned to expect the unexpected from him. He wanted to take her out? God, she hadn’t been on a date since… Well, since she and Tristan broke up. Seriously? Eleven years? What a loser. Turning thirty in two weeks and practically a virgin.

  So why shouldn’t she take a chance on someone else? Coffee was hardly a commitment. Maybe this was the universe telling her it was time to move on. Reach out for that brass ring. Get a life already. Yeah. Okay. She could totally do this. She was ready to do this. Really wanted to do this.

  “I’m sorry, Sebastian. I should have mentioned it earlier. I’m sort of involved with someone.” Seeing the disappointment on his face, Kady wished she could take back the lie.

  “No, don’t apologize. There wasn’t any reason for something like that to come up. I just… I mean I… No, it’s okay.” Shit, why hadn’t thought to ask about a boyfriend? Duh, a girl like that would likely have a string of them.

  “Well, thanks for the lift. I really appreciate it.”

  As Kady reached for the door handle, Sebastian wanted to stop her from leaving but her body was already turned away from him. She was slipping through his fingers. He hardly got to know her. Not even her last name.

  “Anytime,” he said, trying not to sound as dejected as he felt. “Have fun at Mass.”

  Kady nodded, feeling sheepish.

  “Maybe I’ll see you around,” he added hopefully. “Maybe at O’Malley’s sometime?”

  She gave him a wan smile. “I think I’m done with bars for a while. Goodnight, Sebastian.”

  “Goodnight.” Beautiful.