by Blue Saffire
“You’re moving?” I ask with my brows furrowed.
He shrugs. “Yeah.”
I sigh in frustration. “Brax, can you please stop, with the one word answers. It’s been more than two months. If you don’t want to be together any more just say so.”
Brax gives a hard laugh, before cupping my face and kissing me hard. My arms go around his neck, holding him tightly. His hands go to cup my ass, drawing me into him. I can fill him rock hard against me through his sweats.
He breaks the kiss, breathing roughly. “Does that say that I don’t want us to be together?” he rasps.
I bite my lip, shaking my head. He presses his forehead to mine. I play with the hair at the nape of his neck, relishing in the feel of his hands on me.
“Where are you going,” I say looking around, yet again.
“I bought a place of my own,” he says tightly, releasing me.
“Brax, why do you sound so angry with me?”
“Maybe because I am,” he replies harshly. “Baby, I warned you about your friend and you move her in. Did you think about us? Did you think of how that would affect our relationship?”
“Brax, I’m sorry. I planned to tell you. It was at the last minute. I didn’t want to see her end up out on the street,” I argue.
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Brax huffs, turning back to his boxes.
“Wow, Brax, really? You’re just going to throw a tantrum,” I huff.
He turns on me so sharply, I take a step back. “No, I’m not going to throw a tantrum. That’s the problem. I let you treat me like some little boy, with a crush. You don’t take shit about me seriously,” he bellows.
“That’s not true,” I gasp.
“It’s not? Why have we been together for two years and yet, no one knows? I used to tell myself this was about what you needed. I was doing this for you. Yeah, I’m twenty-four, but I’m still a man and I have feelings. I can’t do this shit anymore,” he shakes his head.
“Babe, I’m sorry. I never meant for you to feel like that,” I say, my throat thick with emotions.
Braxton releases a frustrated breath, moving to cup the back of my neck. “Fuck,” he kisses my forehead, placing his chin on top of my head. “I need to get my shit together. I can’t live with my baby brother forever. I just needed my own place.”
I cling to his back and nod. My throat is too clogged to say anything. His arms wrap around me tightly. We stand like that for I don’t know how long.
When he releases me and pulls away, I watch as he runs a hand through his hair. He pulls a face, while staring at something over my head. I watch, as he seems to chew on the words forming in his mouth.
“I’m sorry for blowing up on you. I just can’t keep going the way we’ve been going. I’ve always known what I want. Every part of me tells me you want it too. God, Heather, we’re in this together. You have to trust me to be your man.
“There’s a part of me that I only give you, but there’s another part of me I’ve been holding back. I can’t anymore. I’m not this guy,” he throws his arms up in exasperation. “All that romance shit, yeah, that’s me. Putting you first, that’s me all day, but I’m not some pussy you can hide under your bed. A dirty little secret that you can keep from everyone.
“I’m not even comfortable in my own skin anymore,” he presses his lips and cuts his hand across his throat. “I’m not doing it anymore. I’m a grown ass man, with a woman I love more than life. I want the world to know that.”
“Brax—,” he cuts me off.
“I need to finish. This isn’t all on you. I did this. I allowed this. I was so fucking happy you were giving us a shot, I let this happen. I never thought it would go on for this long and I sure as hell didn’t think it would get to this point,” he frowns, running a hand through his hair again.
“What are you saying?” I ask, searching his face.
“It’s time for you to make some decisions. You know how I feel. You know how much I love you. I bought a house for Christ sake,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t buy it to live there alone.”
I take a step back. My eyes widening. Brax scoffs and shakes his head. “Yeah…okay, listen, I have a lot to do before the weekend. We can talk in Ireland or something.”
I wince at the mention of Ireland. There’s something I haven’t told him yet. Brax catches it and narrows his eyes at me.
“What?” He asks.
“Nellie and Bean sort of invited Lucy to the wedding,” I rush out.
“Un-fucking-believable,” he growls.
“I didn’t know about it. I wasn’t there when they did,” I explain.
He tilts his head, lifting a brow. “So how are you sure that one of them did?”
My head whips back at his question. I think it over. Lucy said they did. I’ve been out of it with planning and things between me and Brax. I never got around to asking them.
“I’m not. She said they did,” I reply.
“What happened to her apartment, Heather?”
“Her landlord refused to renew her lease. He held out until the last minute, then put her out without offering a new lease. He had tenants that were willing to pay more or something,” I shrug.
He just stares at me. His lips tight. I wait, but he doesn’t say anything. When he walks closer to me, he places a kiss on my lips.
“Think hard, Heather. Come to me when you know what you want,” he whispers against my lips.
He steps back, apparently dismissing me. I blink, stunned. I feel like the ground beneath me is unsettled. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don’t know what just happened.
Braxton
I watch her walk out that door and feel like my heart is going with her. I had to do this. In the end, Heather will see this was for our good. I have no plans of losing her. Everything I’ve done in the last two months has been for us.
It’s just time she sees that we can’t keep going like this. I walk over to my gym bag, by the door. Reaching inside, I pull out the small box. Opening the box I take a deep breath. I know what I’m doing. I’m taking control.
The diamond ring inside the box winks back at me. Heather needs to feel safe. I need to keep her safe. That’s what it boils down to.
I’m a Black, I got this shit.
Hearing keys in the door, I close the box and shove it into my pocket. Ry, John, and Felix come strolling into the apartment laughing. I try to wipe the somber look from my face.
“Here he is,” John booms out. “Our brother that just has to buy a fucking house and move, all while we’re planning a huge wedding and trip to Ireland.”
“Seriously, what’s the hurry?” Felix adds.
I shrug. “I need a change and I need it now.”
“I’m sorry for all the shit I did to you, when you were little. I truly think I contributed to fucking you up in the head,” Felix taunts.
I flip him off. “Whatever, you were dropped off by Fed Ex. I still remember begging mom to return your ass,” I toss back.
“Dude, I was here first, you little shit,” Felix grumbles.
“As you remember it. Those experiments really did a number on you,” I grin.
“Move your own shit,” Felix snaps, turning to leave.
“I have a bottle of whiskey for each of you. I also need someone to drive the Aston Martin and Maserati to the house,” I offer, stopping him in his tracks.
“Throw in a hundred bucks and I’m all yours,” Felix calls over his shoulder.
“I thought I was your little brother,” I huff.
“I was delivered by Fed Ex. I didn’t come with these emotions you’re trying to pull,” he teases.
“Fuck you, get your ass in here,” I laugh.
It’s the first time I’ve given a real laugh in months. My brothers are just what I need to keep me focused. Like I said, I know what I’m doing.
Chapter 38
Come on Cousin
Braxton
Ireland…The night of Toby’s wedding
…
“Now that was a grand wedding,” Uncle Jack booms happily.
“Aye, I still can’t believe Toby is a King,” Jeremiah laughs.
“Aye, but it’s true. We’ll keep it that way too,” Carrick nods.
“She’s one pretty Lass,” Uncle Jonah says, with a proud smile. “Proud of the lad.”
“Aye, now that Heather, what a ride she turned into,” Uncle Ronan says, looking over his tumbler at me.
I clench my jaw, not saying a word. My uncles and cousins have been at it all day. I know Uncle Ronan is just trying to get a rise out of me. I’ve been on edge whenever Heather is near me. I know my uncle has picked up on that. Calling her sexy is his way of trying to set me off.
“Is anyone off limits to you?” Noah chuckles, shaking his head.
“Ach, since when do I have to hold back. There’s enough of me for all the lasses. Enough of me there is. All shapes, sizes and ages,” Uncle Ronan croons.
“You can try shagging that one, Uncle Ronan, but it’s Biscuits to a bear,” Jeremiah chuckles.
“Aye, sure would be a waste of time. Have you not seen the way she’s been watching Braxton,” Carrick grins.
“Okay, so it’s not just the whiskey,” John teases.
“Has she now?” Uncle Ronan tilts his head, keeping his eyes on me. “Ye haven’t a rashers what to do with a lass like that.”
I snort and sip from my cup. All eyes are on me, waiting to see if I accept the challenge in my uncle’s words. I frown at them all, my brothers included. They’re getting a real kick out of all this. I think about getting up to leave, before I let them pull me in.
Just then, Heather catches my eye. She looks gorgeous. The sky blue dress she has on, not only complements her curves, but her skin as well. Her hairstyle is softer than usual and her makeup is more pronounce.
I miss holding her in my arms. Her eyes find me at the same time mine take her in hungrily. When we lock on each other, it’s like nothing else matters. I see as much longing in her eyes, as I feel in my own chest.
“Brax has had a thing for Heather, since they were little,” Wyatt grins.
“Um, ye may be on to something, Carrick,” Graham chuckles.
“Aye, the lass has his noodle in her hand,” Uncle Ronan smirks.
“My head is on my shoulders where it should be,” I bite out, tearing my eyes from Heather.
“Ach,” Reilly decides to chime in. “Even I have to say it. Ye have a glad eye for that one, you do.”
“Careful, he looks like he’s about to be cut to the onion,” Malcolm says, as my jaw ticks.
Everyone at the table begins to laugh. I take another sip of my drink, ignoring them all. I won’t allow them to take me there. If I do, they’ll be at it all night.
“Um, I still say I need to go to the States. I’d give it a go with Heather if I were there,” Carrick says, with a sly smile.
“Ye all want to do a number on me. I’m not buying. I’ll batter ye, ye say one more word,” I snap.
They all explode into laughter. I curse in my head. I just showed my hand. If my face didn’t already read how pissed I am, slipping into an accent and Northern Irish slang did.
“Come on, since when can’t you take the piss?” Carrick roars with laughter.
“Since you’re talking about my future wife,” I grumble and shift back in my seat.
Heather
It’s taken some liquid courage, but I’m ready to venture near the table that Brax and his family are all gathered around. All the guys have been drinking and laughing throughout the wedding reception. I know for a fact to sit at that table you have to have thick skin.
I need a distraction from Lucy, who has become a bit annoying the more she drinks. I never noticed how handsy she gets after a few too many. Letting her grope me and grind on me is the last thing I want.
What I want is Brax, but I’m afraid that I did the one thing I never wanted to do. I’ve hurt him. His words from that afternoon, in his apartment keep ringing in my head.
I sure do have decisions to make. I’m just terrified of them. Still, I don’t want to lose Braxton. I’ve been thinking of going to see a therapist, when we return home. Somehow, I have to get past this.
I push all those thoughts aside, as I reach the table filled with laughter. Well, everyone is laughing except for Brax who has a deep scowl on his face. I notice my dad come over to the table with a beer in his hand. For some reason, he makes me more nervous.
“Aye, here’s the lass,” Uncle Ronan purrs in his silky voice.
My brows knit, as I look around the table, not knowing I was the topic of conversation. I suddenly want to back away and leave, but my feet won’t let me move. My heels seem to be rooted to the floor.
“Here, Love. Take my seat,” Uncle Jonah offers.
I take notice that his seat is conveniently right next to Brax. I reluctantly take the seat, as I see Nellie come over, with little Nora in her arms. Nellie takes a seat in Wyatt’s lap. I relax a little more, when Bean appears and Noah tugs her into his lap by her waist.
I notice out of the corner of my eye, Brax lifts his hand towards me, as if he’s going to place it on my back, but he lifts it to run through his hair instead. I feel my shoulders sag, I wanted that touch more than he could ever know. Yet, it’s my fault he didn’t follow through.
“What’s the craic, Heather,” Carrick asks.
A smile warms my face. “Nothing much. I saw you guys having fun and decided to come over,” I shrug.
“Aye, this group can be the curk, they can,” Carrick nods, his eyes shining with mischief.
“You should stay with us a wee bit longer, Heather. Once everyone else goes back. I think we’d get along just fine, we would,” Uncle Ronan says, with a sly smile on his lips.
“Ach, Uncle Ronan, I’m not one of yer fast lasses. I don’t think ye would have fun with me at all,” I tease with a wink.
Everyone around the table bursts into laughter. I feel myself relax more, this is family. I shouldn’t have been so nervous to come over.
“Oh my God! You’re accent was dead on,” Bean giggles.
“Aye, I think we be wearing off on you,” Carrick winks at me.
“See, I always knew I liked ye,” Uncle Ronan lifts his glass to me.
“Well, than where’s my glass,” I ask, tilting my head. I don’t realize it comes off as flirty, until Brax starts to grumble beside me.
Uncle Ronan lifts a brow. “Lass, I don’t believe ye be ready for this Irish Whiskey,” he chuckles.
“Is that a challenge?” I push my shoulders back and rise my chin.
“Don’t,” Brax, Wyatt, and Noah all warn in unison.
Uncle Ronan looks curiously between the three of them. His eyes slide back to me in amusement. I give him a crooked smile, daring him to pour me a glass.
“Ach, now I’m intrigued,” he purrs.
“She’ll drink even you under the table,” my dad snorts.
The guys all nod in agreement. I try to hold back my smile. Uncle Ronan’s head snaps back and he narrows his eyes at me, as if seeing me anew.
“Aye, ye see. I knew I liked ye,” Uncle Ronan bursts into laughter, pouring a glass of Whiskey and sliding it in my direction. “Anyone that can go on the lash with me is totally hatchet.”
I smile at being called Brilliant, lifting the glass, before I down the drink to a round of cheers. Uncle Ronan gives me a nod and pours me another glass. Everyone slips into banter about various things, all while we continue to laugh and drink.
We’re having a great time, when Uncle Ronan looks between Brax and me. I can see him studying everything about us. I shift in my seat nervously, finishing the drink in my glass.
“Ye alright, Love,” Uncle Ronan asks with mirth in his eyes. “Ye had a few. Can ye keep up?”
“I thought I noticed you slowing down,” I tilt my head and mock narrow my eyes at him.
His head falls back in a roaring laugh. He pours us both another
drink and lifts his glass in toast. I lift my glass up as well.
“To ye good health and fortune. May ye follow what’s in yer heart and learn to be free,” Uncle Ronan says.
The smile on his lips softens the words, but they still send a shiver through me. I feel like his hazel eyes are looking right through me. I would think he found the door to my secrets, if I didn’t know better.
I lower my eyes to the table. “Cheers,” I say, but my thoughts have taken me away.
Everyone returns to their laughter and teasing, while I find myself picking apart my life. Constantly I chide myself to get over my past, but it hasn’t been that simple.
It has with Brax. It’s always simple with Brax.
Yeah, up until this point it has. I’m the one always complicating things. Maybe it’s time—
“Dance with me,” my thoughts are cut into by Brax’s rumbling voice in my ear.
I turn to him, biting my lip. He doesn’t know it, but somewhere along the line, I’ve forgotten how to say no to him. I nod, not trusting my voice.
The table quiets down a bit, when we stand. Looking around, I realize it’s because the McGowans and O’Breins are waiting to see how I fair. I throw my head back in a laugh.
“Really?” I shrug at them. “I’m good to dance with each of you, one by one. I don’t even think I’m tipsy yet.”
“Don’t even take that shit serious,” Brax warns pointing a finger at Uncle Ronan.
Everyone bursts into laughter, as Uncle Ronan grins, closing his mouth. “And here I thought I was ye favorite,” Uncle Ronan teases.
Brax places a hand on the small of my back, leading me out to the dance floor. I blow out a shaky breath as the song changes to a slow one. I lift my hands to place them on Brax shoulders, his hands landing on my hips.
I half expect him to whisper something dirty in my ear that will make me slap him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he locks eyes with me, as he leads me around the room. We just stare at each other, that old familiar pull between us lighting up the space around us.