The House On Hope Street

by Steel, Danielle

  “Do you ever think about doing a different kind of law?” he asked, intrigued by her. She was smart, and nice, and very pretty. There was a softness to her which appealed to him, and a love for her son that touched his heart.

  “Sometimes I think about doing something else,” she answered him, “but not very often. Do you?” She turned the question on him, and he poured some more coffee into his mug and shook his head.

  “Never. I love this. It’s about as high pressure as it gets, you have to make split-second decisions, and they have to be the right ones. The stakes are high, and there’s no room for mistakes. It forces me to be the best I can be all the time. I like that.”

  “It sounds like climbing Everest every day, and it must be heartbreaking sometimes.” She was thinking of Peter the day before and how easily they might have lost him. And the two children he had lost that night.

  “It’s heartbreaking too often,” Bill answered. “I hate losing.”

  “So did Jack,” she smiled. “I’m not too crazy about it myself, but for him it was a personal affront if he lost a single motion. He had to win every time, which is probably what cost him his life. He played hardball with a man who went berserk over it. I was afraid of it … I warned him … but he didn’t believe me. I guess no one could really have predicted what happened. It was an insane thing for our client’s husband to have done. But he was insane. He killed his wife, and then my husband, and then shot himself in our office.” Just saying it reminded her of the grisly scene again and she closed her eyes for a second, as Bill watched her.

  “It must have been a nightmare for you and the kids,” he said, sorry for her.

  “It still is sometimes. It’s going to take us a long time to get over it, but we’re doing better. We were married for nineteen years, you don’t forget all that in a few months, we were very happy for a long time.”

  “You were lucky,” he said quietly. He had never felt that way about anyone, not even the woman he’d married, or the two he lived with after her. And in the years since, he had given up his search for the perfect woman. Women drifted in and out of his life from time to time, and he never got too attached to them anymore. It seemed safer that way, and simpler. He didn’t need or want more than that.

  “We were very lucky,” Liz echoed, and then stood up finally and thanked him for the tea. “I guess I’d better try to get some sleep before Peter wakes up. I was going to try and go to the office in the morning, and come back in the afternoon with Jamie.”

  “I’ll be here.” Bill smiled at her, and reminded her that he wanted to meet Jamie when he came in.

  She turned in the doorway then, and looked at him, with a look of sorrow in her eyes. As she had said to him, for her, the nightmare of losing Jack was not yet over. “Thanks for letting me talk. It helps sometimes.”

  “Anytime, Liz.” But he hadn’t done it entirely for her. He liked talking to her, liked the boy. He was just sorry they’d had so much trouble, so much pain.

  She went back to the couch in the waiting room then, and lay awake for a long time. She was thinking about him and the lonely, demanding life he led. It didn’t seem like much of a life to her, but these days hers wasn’t much of a life either, except for her work and her kids. She fell asleep finally, dreaming about Jack, and he seemed to be saying something to her. He was pointing at something and trying to warn her, and when she turned, she saw Peter diving neatly off a high diving board, into concrete. She awoke with a feeling of panic, mixed in with the old familiar sadness again. There was always that terrible moment when she woke up when she remembered that something horrible had happened. And then in an instant, she would remember that Jack had died. She still hated waking up in the morning. It was what made it so hard to go to sleep at night, knowing she’d have to wake up and face the sharp blow of reality all over again.

  She had combed her hair and washed her face and brushed her teeth, but she still felt rumpled and messy. Peter was awake when she went back to the ICU in the morning. And he was complaining about the fact that he was hungry and no one would feed him. Eventually, they gave him a bowl of oatmeal, and he made a terrible face as his mother fed it to him.

  “Yerghkkkk!” he said, looking five instead of seventeen. “That’s disgusting.”

  “Be a good boy, and eat it. It’s good for you,” she scolded him, but he clenched his teeth and pursed his lips, and when she set the spoon down, she was laughing. “What did you have in mind instead?”

  “I want waffles.” He was referring to hers, and she had purposely never made them again, since the morning Jack died. She just couldn’t. And the children understood. Although they were a family favorite, none of the children had ever asked her to make them. But this time, Peter had forgotten. “And bacon,” he added. “I hate oatmeal.”

  “I know you do. Maybe they’ll start feeding you real food today. I’ll talk to Dr. Webster.”

  “I think he likes you.” Peter smiled at his mother.

  “I like him too. He saved your life. That’s a good way to impress me.”

  “I mean, he likes you. I saw him watching you yesterday.”

  “I think you’re hallucinating, but you’re cute anyway, even if you won’t eat your breakfast.”

  “What if he asks you out, would you go?” Peter asked the question with a grin.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s your doctor, not some high school Romeo. I think the bump on your head jiggled your brain.” She was amused, but not particularly interested in what he was saying. Bill Webster was a nice man, and they’d had a nice talk the night before, but it meant nothing to either of them.

  “Would you, Mom?” Peter was persistent, and she only laughed at him, refusing to address the question seriously. There was no need to. What he was saying was absurd.

  “No, I wouldn’t. I’m not interested in going out with anyone. And he’s not interested in going out with me. So you can stop matchmaking, and concentrate on getting better.”

  She helped the nurses bathe him then, and later that morning, she went to her office. Jean had put out as many fires as she could, and fortunately things weren’t as busy as they could be. It was the middle of August, and most people were on vacation till after Labor Day.

  She went home that afternoon to see the kids, and have dinner with them. She spoke to Peter on the phone several times that afternoon, and he was in good spirits. A number of his friends had come by to see him, and they’d brought him something to eat. He and Jessica had broken up in June, so there was no current girlfriend in his life to fuss over him, but he was just happy to see his friends. And Liz finally had a few minutes to call Victoria and her mother too. She’d told them both about the accident after it happened, and it was nice to be able to reassure both of them. As usual, her mother made ominous predictions about possible unexpected lethal aftereffects, and Victoria asked her what she could do to help. But there was nothing anyone could do yet. It was just nice for Liz to hear her voice and unwind a little bit. And after the brief respite, she went back to the work on her desk.

  After dinner at home that night, Liz took a shower and changed, and told Jamie to put his shoes on. She was taking him to see his brother. She had asked the girls to wait one more day, because she knew that the onslaught of their talk and laughter and questions and well-intentioned fussing over Peter would exhaust him. But Jamie’s visit was as much for Jamie as for Peter. She knew he still needed to see that Peter was okay.

  Jamie was quiet on the way to the hospital, and she thought he looked a little anxious as he stared out the window. And then finally he turned to her as they pulled into the hospital parking lot and asked her a pointed question.

  “Will it scare me, Mommy?” It was honest, and what he asked her touched her, and she was honest with him.

  “Maybe a little. Hospitals are a little scary. It’s a lot of people and machines and funny sounds. But Peter doesn’t look scary.” His face was a little bruised, but not very. “He has a funny-looking
collar on, and he’s in a big bed that goes up and down if you push a button.”

  “Will he ever come home again?”

  “Yes, baby, very soon. Before school starts.”

  “Is that soon?” Jamie wasn’t good about time, and he knew it.

  “In a couple of weeks,” she explained to him. “Maybe even sooner. There’s a nice doctor there who wants to meet you. His name is Bill.”

  “Will he give me a shot?” Jamie looked panicked. For him, this was not only an adventure, it was an ordeal, but he was willing to walk through fire to see Peter, or do whatever he had to do.

  “No, he won’t give you a shot,” his mother said gently.

  “Good. I hate shots. Did he give Peter a shot?” He was worried about his brother.

  “A bunch of them, but Peter’s a big boy and doesn’t mind.” The only thing he hated was Jell-O and oatmeal. His friends had brought him a pizza that afternoon, and he had sounded happy when he told her. “Shall we go in now?” Jamie nodded and slipped a hand into hers as they walked into the main lobby. He held her hand tightly in his own, and she could feel that his palm was damp, as they went up in the elevator to the Trauma ICU, and he flinched visibly as they got out of the elevator and saw someone on a gurney.

  “Is he dead?” Jamie asked in a horrified whisper, standing close to her. The man’s eyes were closed and there was a nurse standing next to him.

  “He’s just sleeping, Jamie, it’s okay. Nothing bad is going to happen.” She shepherded him quickly down the hall to the ICU, and they could see Peter the minute they walked in. He was sitting up in bed, and he gave a whoop of glee when he saw Jamie. And the minute Jamie saw him, he smiled from ear to ear.

  “Hi, big guy, come over here and kiss me!” he shouted, and Jamie ran to him and then came to a dead stop when he saw all the monitors and machines. He was afraid to get too near. “Come on,” Peter encouraged him, “just one more big step, and I’ve got you.” Jamie took the last step as though he were fording a stream filled with snakes, but as soon as he could, Peter grabbed him firmly, and pulled him closer. He was smiling at him, and leaned over to give him a hug and a kiss, and as Liz approached she saw that Jamie was beaming. “Boy, I missed you!”

  “I missed you too. I thought you were dead,” Jamie said simply, “but Mom said you weren’t. I didn’t believe her at first, that’s why she brought me here to see you.”

  “You bet I’m not dead. But it was a dumb thing to do, jumping into the pool like that. You’d better not do anything as stupid as I did, or you’ll be in big trouble with me, kiddo. How’s everything at home?”

  “Boring. The girls keep telling everyone what happened to you. They all cried when you went away in the ambulance. Me too,” he said, looking up at his big brother in relief. This was just what he needed. “Can I make your bed go up and down?” he asked with interest, as he looked around. There were other people in the ICU, but their curtains were drawn, and he couldn’t see them.

  “Sure.” Peter showed him the buttons and how to do it, and he winced as Jamie first flung him up then down, and then moved him to a sitting position.

  “Does that hurt?” Jamie was fascinated with making the bed move.

  “A little,” Peter admitted.

  “Do you want to lie down again?”

  “Okay, I’ll tell you how far, and when to stop.” Peter was always a good sport about making Jamie happy. And as Jamie was concentrating on flattening the bed out again, Bill Webster walked in, and looked at the scene with interest. He glanced at Liz, and then back at her two sons. Peter had just told him to let go of the button, and Jamie was satisfied that he had done a good job of it. He wanted to do it again, but this time Peter asked him not to. He was still in more pain than he wanted to admit.

  “Hi, Doc,” Peter said as he looked up, and Jamie glanced at Bill with a look of suspicion.

  “Are you going to bed?” Jamie asked politely, staring at the green scrubs he was wearing.

  “No. I get to wear these to work, isn’t that silly? That way, I can fall asleep anytime I want.” He was teasing, but Jamie looked up at him with big, serious brown eyes. Despite Jamie’s dark brown hair, and Peter’s red, there was a striking resemblance between them. “Introduce me to your brother,” he said to Peter, who duly introduced Jamie to the doctor.

  “I don’t want a shot,” Jamie explained, so there would be no misunderstanding between them from the first.

  “Neither do I,” he said, keeping a respectful distance, not wanting to upset the boy. He knew of his limitations from his mother. “I’ll promise not to give you one, if you don’t give me one either.” Jamie laughed as Bill said it.

  “I promise,” Jamie said solemnly. And then for no particular reason, he volunteered a piece of information about himself, as though he thought some kind of social exchange was expected of him. “I won three medals at the Special Olympics. Mom coached me.”

  “What did you compete in?” Bill asked with a look of profound interest.

  “Running long jump, hundred yard dash, and sack race.” He reeled them off with pride, and Liz smiled as she watched him.

  “Your mom must be a pretty good coach if you won all that.”

  “She is. I only won fourth place with my dad. He shouted a lot more than Mom did. But Mom made me work harder and stay out later while we trained.”

  “Persistence wins the prize,” Bill said more to Liz than to Jamie and she smiled at him, slightly embarrassed to have Jamie extolling her virtues. “That must have been pretty exciting.”

  “It was,” Jamie said, smiling, and then turned back to his brother and asked if he could work the bed again. And although Peter didn’t look too happy about it, he let Jamie do it, as Bill and Liz stepped outside for a moment to talk.

  “How’s he doing?” Liz asked. Peter still looked very tired to her, and she could see that his head and neck were hurting.

  “He’s doing fine,” Bill reassured her, “he’s my star patient. Your younger son is a great kid, you must be proud of him,” he said, glancing at Jamie through the windows of the ICU.

  “I am.” And then she smiled at Bill. “Thank you for letting me bring him. He was panicked about Peter. This really reassured him. He hasn’t looked this happy in two days.”

  “He can come back anytime, as long as he doesn’t give me a shot.” Bill smiled at her and she laughed as they wandered back into the ICU, and Liz rescued Peter from Jamie, who was wreaking havoc with the bed.

  “I think it’s time to go home, gentlemen. Peter needs to get some rest, and so do you.” She looked at Jamie solemnly. “The doctor says you can come back soon.”

  “Next time, bring a pizza,” Peter added, and kissed Jamie good-bye a few minutes later. Jamie waved from the door of the ICU, and then walked back to the elevator with his mother. They were still standing there when Bill saw them, and came over to thank Jamie for coming.

  “I liked it. It was cool. I thought it would scare me,” Jamie said honestly, which was part of his charm. He always said what was on his mind. “The ambulance made a lot of noise when it took Peter away,” Jamie informed him, and Bill nodded.

  “Ambulances do that. But it’s usually pretty quiet here. Come back and visit again.” He smiled at him, and Jamie nodded.

  “My sisters are coming tomorrow. They talk a lot, they might make Peter tired.” Bill laughed out loud at that, and didn’t dare add that sometimes women did that. He didn’t know Liz well enough to say it, and wasn’t sure yet of her sense of humor, but he was amused by the comment Jamie had made.

  “I’ll make sure they don’t wear him out. Thanks for telling me.” The elevator arrived then, and Jamie waved as the doors closed. Bill had already asked her if she’d be back that night, but she had decided to spend the night at home with her children, and come back in the morning to see Peter again. And she had thanked Bill again for making Jamie’s visit so easy and so successful. He was very pleased with it as they drove back to Tiburon and he sa
id so.

  “I like Peter’s bed, and the doctor. He’s nice. And he hates shots too,” he reminded his mother. “I think Peter likes him.”

  “We all do,” Liz agreed. “He saved your brother’s life.”

  “Then I like him too.” He told his sisters all about his visit to Peter and about the bed that went up and down, and the doctor who hated shots and had saved Peter’s life. It had been a big adventure for him. He slept in his mother’s bed that night, but he slept peacefully, and didn’t have nightmares. Unlike his mother, who dreamed endlessly about Jack, and Peter’s accident, and Bill, and Jamie and the girls. It was a night filled with anxieties and accidents and people. And she felt as though she’d ridden in a rodeo all night when she awoke the next morning.

  “Are you tired, Mommy?” Jamie asked when he woke her up at six.

  “Very,” she said with a groan. The past few days had taken a toll on her. The terror of nearly losing her son made her feel as though she had been beaten, and she had been. It was like a small replay of what she had gone through when she lost Jack, but at least this time, it had a happy ending.

  She made breakfast for the kids, left for work, appeared in court, and went back to the hospital to meet Carole and the girls. Jamie stayed with a neighbor because Liz didn’t want him to overdo it, and it was the girls’ turn. They laughed and talked and cried, and checked out everything, gave him the news, told him about their romances and friends, and told him how happy they were that he was okay. But Jamie had been right, Liz realized. Peter was exhausted when they left an hour later, and needed a shot of pain medication. And when he was finally asleep, Bill and Liz stood in the waiting room to talk.