by Gwynn White
“What did you mean, if you have to get close to me in the flesh again?” I said then, catching up with the rest of what he’d said. “As opposed to what? When do you see me not in the flesh? Aren’t you supposed to be my bodyguard?”
“Most of the time, I can do that perfectly well from the Barrier.” Clasping his hands between his knees, he looked up, his eyes reflecting firelight. “It means I can watch you from a distance,” he explained. “Using seer abilities. I can do that from almost anywhere. I actually try to keep my distance in the physical. Mainly to avoid drawing attention to you, since there are reasons I might be followed, as well. I also do it to avoid interfering with your life. Only if there’s a direct threat, something I can’t handle from the Barrier, do I come in person.”
“Like tonight.”
“Like tonight.” He gave me another shrug. “Generally, anything involving seers. Or someone being protected by seers.”
“So Ponytail and his pals? Their Patrón was a seer? But you don’t know who he is?”
Revik shook his head, clicking with a sigh.
“I will have to investigate this. Right now, no, I do not know who he is.” Exhaling, he rubbed his face with the hand wearing the silver ring. “I was almost too late. If I hadn’t been in San Francisco for other reasons, I likely would have been.” He gave me an apologetic look. “Even being here in person, I left you alone for too long tonight. I thought if anything happened, I could push them to stop. I knew they were all human. It made me careless. I underestimated the protection they had, and after you kissed me, I thought…”
Seeing something in my face, he trailed, shrugging again with a wave of his hand.
“…It doesn't matter now,” he finished. “I’ll be more careful in the future, Allie. I promise.”
“In the future. When you’re guarding me again.”
“Yes.”
“But I’ll have no idea you’re doing it.”
“Yes.”
“And if I see you, I won’t remember you,” I clarified. “And I won’t remember that those fanatics tried to burn me alive. Or that I’m this rare kind of semi-extinct seer.”
Thinking briefly, he nodded again.
“Yes,” he said.
I stared into the fire for another few seconds, frowning, although at what or who, I have no idea. I was so exhausted at that point, I didn’t have the energy to try and argue with him. I still couldn’t decide if I was in danger. He didn’t seem to want to hurt me.
“I won’t hurt you, Allie,” he said firmly.
“You promise?” I said, turning.
“I do,” he said. “I’ll get you back to your hotel room without a scratch.” Looking at me, and at the state of me most likely, he amended. “Well. No new ones, anyway.”
“And you won’t hurt Jaden? Or Jon? Or Cass?”
He gave me another bewildered look.
“Of course not. No.”
“Will I remember I saw Jaden kissing that groupie?”
At that, Revik hesitated. Clasping his hands together between his knees, he shrugged, his face and voice neutral.
“It’s not always easy to be that precise,” he said carefully. “You saw the man who abducted you right before you saw Jaden with that… person. From what I understand, you saw me directly after. It might be difficult for me to erase your memory of the Evolutionist and of me and not erase what you saw Jaden do, since one thing led directly to the other. I might be able to do that with the Council’s help, but I’d really rather not involve them, Allie… and, truthfully, they’re likely to take more of your memories than me. Not less.”
“So, no, then,” I said.
“It is unlikely,” he said. “I can promise to try, but if there is any doubt at all, I will err on the side of erasing the memory of me and your kidnapper. I'm sorry.”
“Will he remember?”
“Jaden?” Revik gave me another strange look. “He won’t remember you kissing me,” he said. “Would you rather if he didn’t remember kissing that human, either?”
I hesitated.
Then I shook my head, folding my arms tighter over my chest.
“No,” I said, my voice subdued. “Don’t take more of him than you have to.”
He continued to look at me, his expression puzzled. Finally, he nodded.
“Okay,” he said.
Without thinking, I turned towards him once more.
“Why did you do that, anyway? Why did you go along with me, when I kissed you like that? I’d just hit you, for crying out loud.” I felt my face flush, but I kept my eyes on his. “Is that part of your official duty, too? Helping me get revenge against straying boyfriends?”
Without looking over, he wove his hands back together, looking at the fire behind the glass.
I swore I saw his skin darken a shade.
I thought for sure he would speak. He didn’t, though.
“So what now?” I said, sighing. I didn’t believe him, even then, but I wanted this to be over. I wanted nothing more than to go to bed, and it was looking less and less likely he’d want to take a nap on his incredibly comfortable couch with me. “What do we do now, Revik?”
There was another silence. Then he shrugged.
“You don’t do anything,” he said. “I’ll start as soon as you’re ready.”
“I’ll never be ready for whatever it is you’re talking about,” I said, exasperated. “I don’t believe you. You know that, right?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Then why haven’t you tried to leave?” He glanced around the apartment, giving me another of those wry smiles. “This couch can’t be that comfortable. Although believe me, that nap idea of yours is really damned tempting…”
Studying my face when I didn’t speak, his eyes grew more serious. “Why are you still here, Allie? If you think I’m crazy, why would you stay here, and listen to all of this?”
“Why?” I said blankly.
For a couple of ticking seconds, the question stumped me. Why hadn’t I tried to leave? Was I really that worried about being picked up by SCARB as soon as I walked out of here? Was I really that tired? Looking at him, I realized I knew the answer.
“I feel safe with you,” I said finally. Flushing a bit, I rubbed my sore arm. “Maybe that’s stupid. I don’t know you… but I feel like I do. I feel like I know you really well. But that doesn’t mean I believe your reasons for why I know you.”
“They don’t line up with why I feel familiar to you?” he said.
“No.” I shook my head, puzzled when I realized that was true. “Not really. Not that I think you’re lying, but you seem familiar to me for more than just long-distance spying and hovering around my life, trying to make sure no one murders me.”
He nodded, his expression unreadable.
“So what do you think is going to happen right now, Allie?” he said.
Thinking about his question, I let out a humorless laugh. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to wake up in my hotel room tomorrow morning, and remember this as the weirdest damned night I’ve had in my life. And that you were a very cute nutcase who happened to save my life.”
He nodded slowly, as if thinking about this.
Then he seemed to make up his mind.
“You believe me that I’m seer? And that I won’t hurt you?” he said.
“Yes,” I said. “Maybe that makes me an idiot, but––”
“No.” He shook his head, meeting my gaze. “No, Allie. It means that maybe your abilities aren’t as dormant as the Council thinks.” He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Kiss me.”
I felt my skin warm, even before I looked over at him. “You know why. I was pissed off. I wanted to hurt Jaden––”
But he was shaking his head, clicking softly.
“That was the first kiss,” he said. “That wasn’t the kiss after that. Or the one after that. You’d more than made your point. We’d over-made it by
then.” He paused, his eyes flickering back up to mine. “And as much satisfaction as it might have been, to be able to kiss you like that in front of that piece of shit… I wasn’t thinking about him at that point, either.”
I felt my throat close. Looking at him, I remembered what he’d said about being my guardian, about watching over my life.
“You don’t like Jaden,” I said.
His voice grew colder. “I don’t like Jaden.”
“Care to elaborate as to why?”
He shook his head, once. “No.” Likely feeling me about to ask, he turned, his voice and eyes warning. “Allie. There is absolutely no point in us having this conversation. I’m only going to erase it. You’re going to have to figure the Jaden thing out on your own.”
I felt my jaw harden. I couldn't exactly argue with him though, or even get mad at him for how much he’d said already. I'd opened the door on the whole topic, asking him about the kiss, asking him what he thought of Jaden.
Then something else occurred to me.
I remembered all the other stories about seers––everything I’d read or heard about seers being oversexed, about them having some kind of biologically-driven, impulse-control issues. It was why so many of them ended up as prostitutes. Apparently the majority of them had the libido of your average human nymphomaniac. Did he have some kind of sexual thing for me? Was that why he didn’t like Jaden? It would explain what happened with the kiss earlier that night.
Well, his half of things, at least.
I glanced at the door to the bedroom we’d passed, almost without realizing I’d done it.
When I looked back, he quirked an eyebrow, his eyes faintly amused.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said. “Is that what this is about?”
“What?” he said.
“Sex,” I said. “Did you bring me up here to get laid?”
He stared at me blankly for a minute.
Then his eyes shifted to the bedroom door, too. He looked back at me a second later, and that time, I saw his gaze focus on my mouth. He was shaking his head then, clicking softly as he looked back at the fire. I watched his jaw harden right before he spoke.
“We can’t make love, Allie,” he said. “I can’t make you forget that.”
At my quirked eyebrow, his skin darkened more.
“…Because it involves too much of our light, Alyson,” he clarified. “I probably wouldn’t be able to erase something that affects your aleimi like that. Even if I got most of it, it would be far too risky. I have no idea what it would do to you, to have sex with a fully-trained seer. It’s not an experiment I’m willing to risk.”
Shrugging again, he kept his voice polite when he added,
“Not that I’m against the idea itself. At all. Sometime in the future, maybe, when you have received some training, and if you’re not adverse… I would like that very much.”
Folding my arms, I let out a grunt-like laugh.
His expression didn't change, but I saw his mouth harden slightly.
“I had hoped we might be friends,” he said. “Later, I mean. When you remember who and what you are. When I am free to interact with you normally.”
“And when might that be?” Leaning deeper into the couch, I quirked an eyebrow at him. “When am I actually allowed to hear the full story on all of this?”
“Later.” His shook his head, his eyes hard. “I don’t know when exactly.” He met my gaze. “It’s complicated, Allie.”
“So I’m gathering.” Shaking my head again, I snorted a half laugh. “So you want to have sex when we’re friends, huh? Do you sleep with all of your friends?”
“Some of them,” he said, giving me another irritated look. His eyes shifted away, his voice turning gruff. “And you kissed me. I just kissed you back.”
I watched him stare back at the fire, his face blank.
Studying his profile, I couldn't help remembering that kiss in the bar.
I knew he was right. By the end of that kiss, I’d barely remembered Jaden at all. It stopped being a revenge kiss about halfway through the first one, much less whatever was going on during those that followed. Remembering what Jon said, and what Revik just told me about who and what he was, that feeling of unreality worsened.
I felt my cheeks warm when he glanced over.
It occurred to me that whatever else he’d said that night, I believed he was a seer. He’d answered enough questions I hadn’t voiced aloud to convince me of that. And if he really was a seer, he’d probably heard all or part of what just went through my head.
When I looked up that time, I saw his jaw had hardened.
“That erasing, mind-meld thing,” I said, clearing my throat. “Didn’t you say you wanted to start?”
There was a silence. Then he nodded, once.
“Yes,” he said. “We should start.”
He hesitated then, looking at me.
When he didn’t move, or say anything for a few seconds, I felt my cheeks warm more.
“What?” I said.
He seemed about to speak. Then his eyes changed abruptly, as if he’d made up his mind about something.
Before I could ask, he got up, moving over to my end of the couch. He sat down right next to me. He did it silently, quickly enough that all I could do was stiffen, receding into the couch a little. He leaned into the cushions, looking at me directly. He slung an arm onto the back of the couch next to my shoulder.
I let out a nervous laugh.
“You’ve got to be kidding.” I heard my nerves reach my voice. “You’re not exactly the subtle type, are you?”
“A kiss,” he said. His eyes met mine. “Well. Maybe more than one actual kiss. One more period of time, with us kissing. We stop before it goes too far. Then I erase all of it.”
I blinked, staring at him.
“You just want us to make out for a while?” I said. “Why?”
He gave me a puzzled look.
“Because I really fucking liked it last time,” he said. “Didn’t you?”
I felt my cheeks warm as I gazed up at him.
“You want to do it, too.” He didn’t voice it like a question. Shivering a little, he wrapped his arm further around the back of the couch near me. “You’re pulling on me like crazy. We can’t fuck, but we can make out for a while, like you said. I won’t let it go too far.”
“How is this a good idea?” I said, still bewildered.
He shook his head, shifting his body closer to me still. “Does it have to be a rational decision? Or can we just kiss for a while? You wanted to take a nap with me earlier, and that felt more than a little sexual. How is this different?” He smiled faintly. “Anyway. We don’t have time for a nap. Not a good nap, anyway. And I’d probably try to kiss you if we did that, too.”
I let out a disbelieving noise, my face growing hotter. “You’re serious,” I said. “You’re really serious about this?”
He nodded, shifting closer. His fingers on my arm made me flinch, then shiver when he turned it into a caress. Sliding his fingers over mine, he stroked my wrist, nodding again.
“Yes,” he said. “I’m really serious, Allie.”
I hesitated another handful of seconds, but it was getting harder to pretend what he was doing wasn’t affecting me. I thought of Jaden briefly, and frowned. I’d never cheated on him before. The closest I’d come was that revenge kiss earlier, and that hadn’t really been cool, either, even if I did think things were over with us.
But if this guy was telling the truth, I wouldn’t remember what Jaden did. Which meant we’d be together tomorrow, just like nothing happened. It also meant Jaden was getting a free pass on what he’d done.
Jaden would remember kissing that groupie, Tina, though.
Maybe he’d break up with me.
Or, more likely, he just wouldn’t tell me. He’d remember the stolen kiss, and carry on as if nothing happened. I’d either hear about it from Tina herself, or I’d never hear about it at all. Hell, fo
r all I knew, he’d been getting blow jobs from her all night, after I took off.
For all I knew, Jaden had been cheating on me for years.
The thought brought a sharp pain to my chest.
It also made my jaw clench, tight enough to hurt.
When I glanced up at the black-haired seer, he was frowning at me slightly. Watching him study my face, I made up my mind.
“All right.” Exhaling, I nodded. “Okay. Yes. You saved my life.” Feeling him grimace before I saw it touch his lips, I added, “And you’re right. I want to.”
“Are you going to be thinking about him?” he said, blunt.
I flushed. “You don’t get to police my thoughts, okay? I don’t care who you are.”
“I’m not policing anything. I asked a question.” His fingers tugged gently on my hair. “Are you going to be thinking about him while you’re kissing me? Tell me the truth. I deserve a head’s up, at least… since I won’t be able to block out your thoughts entirely.”
I pressed my lips together. Then I shrugged.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But if it helps, I wasn’t last time.”
He looked like he was about to say something else, then changed his mind about that, too. Lowering his mouth, he brought it to mine before I could second-guess any of it. It hadn’t fully occurred to me yet, just how insane this was, us spending an unspecified amount of time making out on his fancy hotel room couch, given everything else that had happened that night.
Maybe it never would, I thought a second later. Not if he was telling the truth.
By then his mouth reached mine.
Once it had, I found it difficult to concentrate on much of anything else.
He kissed me cautiously that first time.
In fact, after he’d kissed my mouth softly a few times, I wondered if he even intended to use his tongue. Whatever he’d said before about us being short on time, he didn’t seem to be in any particular hurry now. He lowered his head to kiss my throat, working his way down to the base of my neck before I could get that thought through my mind entirely.
Then he was kissing my jaw and face, moving closer to me on the couch when I unfolded my arms.
Everything about it was deliberate, slow, more sensual than I’d really been prepared for. I found myself kissing him back the same way, caressing his face with mine, my fingers in his hair. He stroked my arm while I kissed his neck, pausing to kiss my fingers, then my palm. When I opened my mouth against his throat, running my tongue in a light circle over his skin, he let out a low groan.