Rebellious Heart

by Jody Hedlund

  Phoebe fell against the edge of the bed near Susanna.

  Tom stumbled to his knees in front of Lieutenant Wolfe, his cane clattering to the floor. But he made no effort to retrieve it or move out of harm’s way. Instead he bent his head in submission. “If you’re gonna blame anybody for sheltering that runaway, then you’d best blame me.”

  The lieutenant’s fingers tightened around his saber, and his mouth pinched into a scowl.

  “Tom, no!” Susanna called hoarsely.

  The slave didn’t lift his head.

  Mother stepped forward, her face hard. “You know if you lay one hand on my daughter, you’ll have every colonist from here to Boston up and to arms.”

  Lieutenant Wolfe froze. His saber hung in midair.

  “I am of Quincy blood, and my relatives are important and powerful members of this community. You have abused us once. We won’t tolerate it again.”

  “Your daughter has broken the law, Mrs. Smith. Surely your family’s reputation does not put you above judgment for unlawful deeds.”

  Mother lifted her chin. “If you must make someone pay for the crime of sheltering the runaway, then you may take the slave. By his own admission, he is to blame.”

  “No, Mother.” Susanna struggled to sit up. She couldn’t let Tom take her place.

  But Phoebe pushed her back down and shook her head in warning.

  A frown creased the lieutenant’s forehead, and he glared in disdain at Tom’s bent head.

  “I won’t let you do this.” Susanna pushed against Phoebe’s hold, knowing she had to get up and go now. She was completely to blame for helping Dotty, and she wouldn’t let Tom suffer again—not on her behalf.

  But Phoebe’s well-muscled arms held her down with little effort.

  The lieutenant pointed the tip of the saber against Tom’s shoulder.

  Tom winced but didn’t back away.

  Susanna cried out, “Don’t hurt him! Please take me instead. Please.” She strained against Phoebe.

  “Silence, Susanna,” Mother said.

  The lieutenant stared at Susanna for a long intense moment. And Susanna could only pray he wouldn’t consider Mother’s plea. Finally with a muttered curse he sheathed his saber. “Very well, Mrs. Smith. I will take the slave for now. But once I have gained the runaway’s confession, I shall indeed arrest whomever is truly responsible. And no one in this community will be able to stand in the way of justice.”

  With a final glare he grabbed Tom’s coat and hauled him to his feet with cruel fierceness.

  “No-o-o!” Susanna screamed as she tried to claw her way free of Phoebe.

  But in the confusion of the moment, somehow her mother had appeared at her side and joined Phoebe in holding her back. Susanna lashed against the hands pinning her down, knowing she was helpless to do anything but watch as Lieutenant Wolfe dragged Tom away. She couldn’t stop struggling regardless.

  Tom stumbled after the lieutenant but glanced at her over his shoulder. “No fear, Miss Susie. No fear.”

  Tears wet her cheeks, and sobs burned in her chest.

  The lieutenant yanked Tom through the door, but without his cane, the old slave fell to his knees. With another curse, Lieutenant Wolfe kicked Tom in his ribs with a crack that vibrated through Susanna and sent bile to her throat.

  Tom groaned.

  A sob burst from her lips. “Please . . . take me . . .” She lurched against the hands holding her down.

  “No, child.” Phoebe’s cool fingers brushed against Susanna’s tangled hair and the tears streaking her cheeks.

  “Please . . .” Susanna cried. A wave of blackness enveloped her.

  “I shall not let you go, Susanna,” Mother said.

  Susanna wanted to be angry at her mother for sacrificing Tom, wanted to lash out at her and call her a coward.

  But in the struggle to restrain Susanna, pieces of Mother’s hair had come loose from the tidy knot she normally wore. Through the dangling hair, Mother’s eyes swam with confusion, and something Susanna hadn’t seen often. Pride.

  They were in the midst of the direst of circumstances, and Mother was proud of her?

  Another wave of dizziness attacked Susanna, forcing her to close her eyes even though she wanted to search Mother’s face again to see if the pride was real or if she’d only imagined it.

  Susanna had expected condemnation, anger, and censure now that Mother knew about Dotty. Never in her wildest imaginings had she believed Mother would be proud of her.

  “Please . . .” Susanna gasped, fighting the blackness of oblivion. “Please find Ben. He’ll know what to do.”

  Mother squeezed her hands.

  And then Susanna let go. She fell into the hole of darkness, letting it swallow her and take her away from all the horror that had swept down upon her.

  Chapter

  25

  Bitter pain gripped Susanna’s heart and tore it relentlessly. Not even the world of sleep could shelter her from the heartache. She wasn’t sure how long she hovered in and out of consciousness. When she finally started to awaken, she wanted to cry out at the intensity of the injustice that had befallen them.

  But she couldn’t move. The stiffness in every muscle weighted her down as though someone had tied her to the bedstead. Her eyelids felt heavy and her tongue parched. And even though the fever that had ravaged her body was finally gone, she was still overly warm and sticky with sweat.

  She tried to shift her exhausted body and realized someone was holding her hand. Strong fingers intertwined with hers. The rough calluses that brushed against her skin were familiar and welcoming.

  She pried open her eyes. There, sitting in a chair next to her bed, was Ben. His head was bent, his hat and wig had been discarded, and the strands of his hair were sticking up in places, the sign he’d rammed his fingers through his hair one too many times.

  Relief mingled with the battle raging in her heart. He was there. Finally.

  Even if he couldn’t make everything better for Tom and Dotty, even if the world collapsed around her, at least he would be by her side. They would be together. And that’s what she needed more than anything.

  If only she could bury her face against his chest, breathe deeply of him, and block out the nightmare of all that had happened.

  With a sigh, he lifted her hand and pressed his lips to the sensitive skin of her wrist. His warm breath bathed her pulse.

  He’d obviously not realized she’d awoken. And she held herself absolutely still, relishing his touch and not wanting it to end.

  The unshaven stubble on his chin brushed against her inner arm. What would it be like to have him make a trail of kisses all the way from her wrist to her lips?

  A flush stole over her at her brazen thoughts. He’d only kissed her once, in Arnold Tavern when they’d tried to fool Lieutenant Wolfe into thinking they were lovers.

  Surely another kiss wouldn’t harm their friendship.

  As if sensing a change in her restfulness, he glanced up. In the dim light of the candle upon the bedside table, his gaze met hers and widened with surprise—nay, embarrassment.

  “Susanna.” He sat back and put a proper distance between them. He started to pull his fingers from hers, but she grasped him.

  “You came back.”

  “Nothing could keep me away.” Something sparked in his eyes—an intensity that stirred her insides.

  A quick sweep of the shadowed room revealed they were alone. She didn’t stop to analyze who had let Ben in the house and why he was in her bedchamber without a chaperone.

  She didn’t pull her hand away from him as she knew she ought. Instead she met his gaze again boldly and couldn’t keep herself from thinking about the kiss he’d laid on her wrist and how she wanted more.

  As if she’d spoken the words aloud, he studied her lips. He wanted to kiss her too. She could see it in the hot blue flames that flickered to life in his eyes.

  With one hand still holding hers, he touched the strands of hair on
her cheek, brushing them back.

  The gentleness of the stroke sent a sweet ache through her. She wanted to raise herself up and offer him her lips. But he hesitated. His jaw flexed and he closed his eyes. For a moment a battle waged across his features.

  She started to reach for him, but a cough scratched her throat and then a spasm of coughing shook her body. When she finished, she was breathless and her lungs were tight.

  He sat back and peered down at her, his brow wrinkled. “You’re still ill. Just close your eyes and rest.”

  She couldn’t rest now. Not now that he was here. “I’m glad you came.” She wasn’t ready to end this moment of intimacy.

  But he’d wiped his face clear of his desire and had donned a brotherly concern. He was only being chivalrous and trying to preserve her reputation. And he was attempting to remain a friend—just as she’d asked.

  Therefore she should be grateful to him. Why then was she frustrated?

  “Your mother sent the hired stableboy to retrieve me.”

  “She did?”

  “I was on my way here anyway.”

  Susanna glanced to the open doorway. From the hallway and stairwell, the rich aroma of rabbit stew had wafted into the room. The faint echo of clinking plates and tableware signaled the evening repast was under way.

  “I’m bewildered that Mother’s allowing you to sit with me.”

  “She invited me in and didn’t resist when I told her I wanted to stay by your side.”

  Why had her mother sent for Ben now after the many weeks of spurning him?

  Of course Susanna had told Mother that Ben could help them, but she’d expected Mother to send for Elbridge instead. Her mind flashed to the picture of Mother’s face hovering over hers before she’d lost consciousness. Had she really seen pride in Mother’s eyes or had it merely been the imaginings of her feverish mind?

  “I didn’t tell your mother I would have barged in anyway, whether she liked it or not.” Ben’s fingers caressed hers. “I don’t care what she thinks about me. I’m determined to keep you safe.”

  A blade twisted in her heart at the thought that Tom was somewhere suffering under the hands of Lieutenant Wolfe, that he was imprisoned and awaiting a horrifying fate . . . all because of her. What if the lieutenant decided to hang Tom? Or brand him?

  She shuddered at the remembrance of Hermit Crab Joe’s screams when the blacksmith had hammered off part of his ear. She could smell the stench again of Joe’s flesh when the smithy had pressed the red-hot iron against his cheek and hand.

  “Can you help free Tom?” She grasped Ben’s hand and tried to sit up. “Please. We’ve got to do something.” The same desperation she’d felt earlier in the day began to seep into her body.

  Ben’s expression turned grave. “I’m not sure there’s much we can do. He’s already confessed to the crime.”

  “But it’s not his fault. Sheltering Dotty was my idea. I most certainly won’t let him suffer the consequences of my choices.”

  “I understand,” Ben said softly. “I don’t want Tom to suffer either. But I’m grateful to him for sacrificing himself for you.”

  “I can’t let him do this.”

  “I would have done the same thing.”

  She shook her head. “I’m handing myself over to Lieutenant Wolfe as soon as I can climb out of this bed.”

  “I won’t let you.”

  “You can’t stop me.” Frustration pushed up her throat and brought tears to her eyes. She’d let fear hold her back often enough. She wouldn’t let it this time. “I need to do the right thing, Ben. I cannot let Tom take the blame for me. Please understand.”

  “I don’t know Tom well, but I know that if he cares about you half as much as I do, he won’t allow you to go anywhere with the lieutenant. I know I’d rather die for you than give you over to that man.”

  She captured his words and tucked them away into a safe place in her heart so she could pull them out and mull them over later. For now, she needed to find a way to save Tom—and Dotty.

  “Then what can we do?” she asked.

  “Wolfe has arranged for a trial in two days at the meetinghouse in Weymouth. I’ll have Dotty share her story about the lieutenant capturing her, taking her shoes, and then chasing her. Even though we may not have much with which to accuse the lieutenant, at least we can expose his connection with the other murders and attempt to show why it was necessary to shelter Dotty.”

  “But that won’t save Tom, will it?”

  Ben didn’t answer.

  She knew people wouldn’t care what happened to Tom. He was only a slave. And if they needed to blame someone, he’d prove a suitable candidate for their needs. And as for Dotty, would they take her seriously once they discovered she was pregnant? She shuddered at the possibility that if poor Dotty testified, they might only strap her to the ducking stool and drown her in the nearly frozen waters of Mill Cove.

  A loud rapping on the front door of the house rattled the walls.

  Ben sat up straight.

  No one would be out visiting after eventide unless it was urgent.

  The murmuring in the downstairs was followed by the sharp tapping of footsteps on the stairway. Was the lieutenant coming to get her after all?

  Ben’s grip on her hand tightened.

  When a Redcoat halted in the doorway of the bedroom, Ben shoved his chair aside and stood.

  Susanna tried to sit up, but her body was still too weak, and she could only fall back against the sagging mattress. Even if she wanted to go in Tom’s stead, how would she make it out of the house?

  The soldier ducked into the room and swept off his cocked hat, revealing a pale, freckled face.

  “Sergeant Frazel!” Susanna croaked. “What tidings do you bear? Hopefully good . . .”

  The young redheaded soldier shook his head, and his face creased with apology. “I have a message for Mr. Ross from Lieutenant Wolfe.”

  Her father and mother stood behind Sergeant Frazel, their faces drawn. Her brother, William, hovered nearby. After all that had happened, Susanna didn’t blame them for being afraid.

  Sergeant Frazel took a step into the room, glanced at her in the bed, and then stopped. His face flamed a red almost as bright as his hair. “Miss Smith. Mr. Ross. I beg your pardon for intruding. You must know it was not my intention to recapture the young woman.”

  Ben let go of Susanna’s hand and approached the sergeant. “And yet you helped track her down anyway?”

  The sergeant hung his head. “I did my best to divert the lieutenant, but he has become a desperate man these past weeks. The general has given Lieutenant Wolfe until Christmas Day to find solid evidence of the smuggling operations. And if he doesn’t return with some proof of the smuggling, then the general is planning to send the lieutenant back to England in disgrace.”

  Ben nodded, his expression suddenly wary. “And what does that have to do with recapturing a poor, helpless runaway?”

  “She’s the bait.” Sergeant Frazel handed Ben a folded sheet and took a step back. “The lieutenant intends to use her to lure in a culprit.”

  Ben unfolded the letter and read it silently.

  Her father stepped into the room and watched Ben. Mother slid around Father and Sergeant Frazel and made her way soundlessly across the room to stand by the bedstead. Susanna was afraid to meet Mother’s gaze, afraid of what she might see there this time.

  Ben refolded the letter and let out a sigh.

  “They cannot take Susanna,” Mother said, her voice ringing with her usual determination.

  Ben hung his head, and his shoulders slumped.

  Susanna’s heartbeat slowed. “Ben?”

  “I won’t let them take Susanna,” Mother said again, this time straightening her back with a haughtiness that Susanna realized was intended to frighten Sergeant Frazel.

  “Don’t worry, Mrs. Smith.” Ben finally glanced up, revealing the agony catapulting through him. “I won’t let Susanna come to any harm. I pr
omise it upon my life.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Ross.” Mother’s fingers trembled, belying her outward calm.

  Ben nodded. “If you would all excuse us for a moment, I think I should speak with Susanna. Alone.”

  Mother shook her head. “While I can admire Susanna’s efforts to help an abused young woman, I cannot abide any further deception.”

  “I’m sorry, Mother,” Susanna whispered. “I should have told you about Dotty—”

  “Yes, you should have,” Mother said with a gentler tone. “But that’s in the past. Now we must move forward together.”

  Once again, the condemnation she’d expected in her mother’s eyes was absent. In its place was a compassionate understanding that filled Susanna with a sense of wonder.

  “Come, my dear.” Father held a hand toward Mother. “Let’s allow Mr. Ross a moment of privacy to discuss matters with Susanna.”

  Susanna was sure Mother would protest, but she hesitated for only an instant before following Father and Sergeant Frazel from the room.

  “What is it?” Susanna asked once she was alone with Ben.

  He lowered himself into the chair next to the bed. Then he rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his face into his hands with a groan.

  Susanna lifted her hand to his bent head. She hesitated, her fingers grazing his hair.

  Her heart yearned for him. Why deny what she was feeling any longer? She loved him. Deeply . . .

  The truth brought a rush of thick emotion into her throat.

  God help her. She couldn’t love him now. Not when her entire world was tumbling upside down.

  She let her fingers slide down into the thick waves of his hair and sucked in a breath at the silkiness against her fingers.

  But how could she stop loving him? Not when everything within her was alive with the knowledge that he meant more to her than anyone or anything else. She plunged her fingers deeper.

  He gave a sudden pained groan, then gripped her hand and dragged it away from his hair. To her surprise, he brought her hand to his mouth. With his head still bent, he pressed his lips against her palm. His breath was hot and his kiss urgent.