“How would you feel if I hooked up with your former best friend?” he asked, looking sullen. “Honestly, of all the guys in this Godforsaken town, why did you have to choose him?”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Chase had never let on that he’d been upset by her friendship with Jessie. Why now? Was he having second thoughts about them and trying to stir the pot to give himself an easy out?
“First of all, I didn’t hook up with him. We are friends, that’s all.”
“Friends?” His snort of derision said it all. “He wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you hadn’t given him some encouragement.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault he has feelings for me?”
He shrugged as he downed half of his wine in one mouthful. “Maybe you like having a Plan B in case things with me don’t work out.”
She gasped, unable to believe what she’d heard. “Are you serious right now? You honestly think I’m planning for us to fail?”
“You had a Plan B before. Is it so far-fetched to think you would again?”
He would have insulted her less if he’d slapped her across the face. Sure, she’d made mistakes with Chase, but when they’d exchanged their vows, she’d been all in. “You really think that?”
“Come on, Jayda. At least be honest with yourself. Your family, that shop, they were your Plan B. You knew you always had that to fall back on if things with me didn’t work out or the risks I asked you to take to be with me were too scary.”
“I had no idea you were still so bitter.” She thought they’d been making real progress over the past couple of weeks, but every time she thought they’d turned the corner, the past came back to remind them they could never leave it behind.
“How do you expect me to feel?” He drained his glass before setting it on a table with a dull thud. “You insist on being friends with a guy who’s made it clear he’s in love with you. If that isn’t keeping your options open, I don’t know what the hell is.”
“I’ve known Jessie all my life!” She heard the panic creeping into her voice as she asked, “You honestly expect me to just cut him out of my life because you’re not secure enough in what we have to—”
“How the hell do you expect me to feel secure in what we have when I ask you to marry me, and you say no?”
She thought he agreed they needed more time before making a commitment like that, but he’d clearly been going along with her just to keep the peace. “I said no because I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.” Okay, that hadn’t come out the way she intended it. “I mean—”
“I know exactly what you meant,” Chase said, standing. “You think that marrying me again would be a mistake.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” She reached for his hand, but he pulled back. “I just want us to take our time, to be sure this time.”
“I was sure about us last time. You were the only one who had doubts.” He shook his head, looking disgusted. “I guess some things never change.”
***
Chase was lying in the guest bed, staring at the ceiling. He was too wired to sleep, but he didn’t want to continue the circular argument with Jayda. He told himself it was time to put the past behind him, but she seemed determined to keep one foot in this life she’d built in Aurora… just in case they didn’t work out. That was the only logical reason he could think of for her to keep her house—with Bill coming with them, she had no need of the house—not to mention her old friend.
He wanted to hate Jessie, but he couldn’t. They had too much history. Jessie had been like his brother for years. He’d always had Chase’s back—whether in a fight or helping him cram for an exam, he wouldn’t let Chase fail. Chase wondered whether Jessie’s feelings for Jayda were his way of punishing Chase for being such a lousy friend after he got traded, but that was unlikely. Jayda was the kind of woman any man in his right mind would fall in love with, given the opportunity.
Chase lifted one eyelid when the cell phone on his bedside table buzzed. He suspected it might be a text from Jayda. Even though they were in the same house, they might as well have been hundreds of miles apart. He picked up the phone and scanned the message. It was from Ethan.
Life is imploding. Call me?
Chase hit the second number in his contacts and held his breath while he waited for Ethan to answer. When he did, Chase could tell he’d been drinking from his slurred greeting.
“Man, what’s goin’ on?” Chase asked.
“She cheated on me! Can you believe it? That bitch actually cheated on me.”
Chase didn’t have to ask who he was talking about. His fiancée. Chase had tried to warn him when he saw her flirting with every one of their teammates, but Ethan hadn’t wanted to listen. They’d been together since college, and he was convinced she was the only woman who could make him happy.
“Dude, I’m sorry. How’d you find out?”
“I took her to Cabo to celebrate our win, and I walked into our hotel room and found her banging this bartender she’d been flirting with all night. She thought I’d gone down to the hotel gym for a workout. I told her I was going for a swim after that, so she probably thought she had the room to herself for a couple of hours.”
Chase couldn’t even claim to be surprised. It was probably one of many times she’d cheated on Ethan during their relationship, but that was the last thing he needed to hear right now. “I don’t even know what to say, Ethan. That sucks.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” He sounded desperate as he whispered, “I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do now. That girl was my life. I love baseball, but she was my life.”
“You still in Cabo, or did you head back to Hillsborough?”
Ethan returned to his home in North Carolina during the off-season, so he could spend time with his family and friends. Chase had always promised to pay him a visit there. This seemed like the right time.
“I’m back. My folks aren’t here though. They weren’t expecting me for a couple more weeks, so they’re at the cabin. Honestly, I’m kind of glad. I couldn’t deal with their hovering right now.”
Chase knew Ethan could be a little self-destructive, and since it was the off-season and he didn’t have baseball to give him something positive to focus on, he would be lost. “I’m gonna catch a flight out there, crash with you for a few days, okay? We’ll sort this out.”
“You don’t have to do that. You’ve got Cadence and Jayda to—”
“Honestly, I could use a little time to think myself.”
“Uh oh, you and Jayda having problems already?”
Chase was grateful that Ethan didn’t seem as drunk as he’d originally feared. A drunk Ethan could be dangerous. “Let’s just say it’s a lot harder to work things out when you have the kind of baggage we do.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
“So I’m going to throw some stuff in a bag and head to the airport.” He glanced at the clock. It was after eleven, and since Jayda had to work in the morning, she’d probably gone to bed already. “Text me your address, okay?”
“You sure you want to do this? You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Chase sat up, looking around the small, feminine-looking room decorated in white and aqua. It mocked him, reminding him yet again that Jayda had built a nice life without him. She didn’t need him to be happy. Maybe she never had. “Actually, I need to.”
***
Jayda was stunned when she woke up to find a note on her kitchen counter by the coffee pot. He’d actually left her a note to tell her he was leaving! The coward. She knew he’d been upset after their argument last night, but she’d never expected him to bail without a word in the middle of the night.
His note said that his buddy was going through something and he needed to be there for him. He suggested they both needed a little time to think, and he’d call her in a few days. He asked her to give Cadence a kiss for him. Screw him and his kisse
s.
“Where’s Daddy?” Cadence asked as she boosted herself up on the stool at the small breakfast bar tucked against the wall. “Isn’t he going to drive me to school today?”
“Uh, no, baby. Daddy had to go out of town for a few days.” She faked a smile as she set a plate of chocolate chip pancakes on the counter. Since she hadn’t been able to sleep, she’d gotten up at four o’clock, hoping to talk to Chase before Cadence woke up. No such luck.
“When’s he coming back?” she asked, wide-eyed. “Did he leave because of the fight?”
“What fight?” Jayda asked, pouring two glasses of juice. Her heart was beating hard and fast. The reality that her daughter might somehow blame her for driving her father away again made it difficult to keep her hand from shaking.
“I heard you guys fighting last night,” Cadence said, staring at her plate with her little hands clenched into fists. “I was coming out to get a glass of water, and I heard you. Daddy was mad ‘cause of Uncle Jessie.”
Jayda came around the counter and pulled her daughter into her arms. “Sweetie, sometimes grown-ups disagree, but it’s nothing for you to worry about. We’ll work it out.”
“Will you?” A tear slipped down her cheek, breaking her mama’s heart. “You didn’t last time. You broke up. Are you gonna break up again?”
Jayda wished she hadn’t been so quick to tell Cadence there was a good chance they’d be a family again, especially since it seemed that may not happen now. Jayda wrapped her hands around Cadence’s sweet face. “Honestly, I’m not sure what’s gonna happen, baby. I just know that whatever happens, we’re going to be here for you. Always. We both love you more than anything.” When Cadence lowered her head and sniffled before prying Jayda’s hands off her face, Jayda whispered, “You believe that, don’t you?”
“If you loved me, you’d try harder with Daddy!” She pushed Jayda out of the way and bounded off the stool.
Jayda knew she should admonish her behavior, but how could she? Cadence had every right to be hurt and disappointed that her parents had let her down, yet again. “Cadence, come back here. You have to eat your breakfast.”
“I don’t want to eat!” She stormed into her room and slammed the door, prompting Jayda to sigh and close her eyes, praying for strength.
She grabbed her phone, debating whether she should call Chase to try to talk about what happened last night, but the fact that he hadn’t contacted her made her set her phone back down. She should take the time he’d offered to think about whether they really had a future together.
Chapter Nineteen
“I’m sick of hearing the sound of my own voice,” Ethan grumbled, pushing the scrambled eggs Chase had made around on his plate. “Tell me about you and Jayda. What’s happening on that front?”
Chase grimaced before downing his second cup of coffee. His late-night flight and only a couple of hours of sleep had left him feeling like a zombie. “You don’t want to hear my problems.”
“Man, you’ve been listening to mine for hours. It’s the least I can do.”
Chase scrubbed his face with both hands, wishing he could go back to bed and wake up to find that his fight with Jayda had been a nightmare. “We, uh, kind of got into a fight last night.”
“That explains why you were so anxious to jump on a plane.”
“You’re my best friend,” Chase said, scowling at him. “You just found out your fiancée cheated on you. You’ve got no one else here, to my knowledge. You seriously didn’t think I’d come?”
“I didn’t want you to uproot your life on my account. I can clean up my own messes.”
“I know you can, but it never hurts to have a little support, does it?”
Ethan smirked. “Don’t you mean a shoulder to cry on?”
“I don’t remember you doin’ too much cryin’ last night. I remember a lot of swearing, drinking, and breaking things, but that’s about it.” Chase chuckled.
“Yeah, well, I got it out of my system. So if you’re here just ‘cause you think I need a babysitter—”
“I’m here because I think you need a friend. And so do I.” It wasn’t easy for Chase to admit that he needed anyone, but he’d come to realize everyone needed someone from time to time. Thinking he could go it alone was what had landed him in divorce court.
“Okay,” Ethan said, spreading his arms as he leaned back in his chair. “You were here when I needed a friend last night. Now it’s my turn. What the hell did you do to mess things up with Jayda? Things seemed to be going so well last time I saw you two together.”
“I got pissed because…” He still wasn’t proud of his fit of jealousy, but their problems ran deeper than Jessie’s crush. “Well, it started because my former best friend is in love with her and she seems hell-bent on having him in her life.”
“So you think she might have feelings for him too?” Ethan asked, uncapping the bottled water Chase had instructed him to drink to help with his hangover.
“I think she considers him a good friend.”
“Nothing more?”
“Nothing more.”
“Then I don’t see the problem, man. You don’t want her to have male friends, or what?”
“The guy’s in love with her.” Chase didn’t think he was being unreasonable. If Jayda asked him to stop being friends with a woman who’d openly admitted she was in love with him, he wouldn’t hesitate to cut ties. “But it’s not just that. She seems to want to hold on to her old life, and I don’t know how she can do that if she’s serious about wanting to build a new life with me.”
“You’re afraid if she has one foot in that life, there’s always a chance she’ll go back to it if things don’t work out with you?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged as the truth echoed in his ears. “Maybe.”
“So you thought you’d bail before she could? Just like last time, huh?”
“What? No!” He shook his head. “This isn’t me bailing. This is me giving her a chance to think, to decide what she really wants, before we take this any further.”
“I remember one night during the off-season, we were at your place, sitting around the pool.”
Chase smiled. “Getting loaded, if I recall correctly.” Since neither of them indulged during the season, they’d been known to tie one on from time to time during the off-season.
“Yeah, and you told me you’d give anything for a second chance with Jayda. You said she was the love of your life and that leaving her was the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.”
“I remember.”
“So what the hell are you doing?” Ethan stared at him. “You’re getting the second chance you wanted so bad. Why are you trying to screw things up?”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. You’re here with me when you should be back in Aurora trying to work things out with the woman you love.”
“It’s not that simple. We have a hell of a lot of history.” He covered his eyes with his hand, blocking out the light streaming in through the patio doors. “Sometimes I think there’s no way we can forget everything that happened… or forgive each other.”
“Who says you have to forget what happened?” Ethan drained half of his water bottle before slamming it on the table to get Chase’s attention. “Remember it. Learn from it. Just don’t hold it against her, and don’t blame yourself either. You know that’s counterproductive. The future’s what matters. Who gives a shit about the past?”
Chase swallowed, trying to stuff down his remorse and frustration. Everything Ethan said made sense, and it was the same advice he would have given to a friend in his position, but it was hard to hear. He didn’t know how to let go. He thought he did, but every time he tried, something happened to remind him why he and Jayda had broken up in the first place.
“I want her to need me.” He knew that made him sound insecure and pathetic, but it was the truth. “And she doesn’t. She’s so damned independent.” He clenched his teeth. “She probably woke u
p this morning, read my note, and carried on with her day as though it didn’t matter. Making Cadence breakfast, packing her lunch, dropping her off at school, going to work—”
“Hey, you’ve dated needy chicks in the past. You always told me you hated that.”
“I did.” He shook his head at his own ambivalence. “I do.” When Ethan continued to stare at him, Chase said, “But here’s the thing… I do need her. Life without her didn’t suck, but it sure as hell wasn’t the same. I missed her. Every goddamn day we were apart, I missed her. And it’s not like I didn’t have time to get over it. We were divorced for years, not months.”
“I hear you. Every guy wants to feel his woman can’t live without him, but you don’t know that Jayda wasn’t feeling all the same things you were.”
She’d alluded to the fact that she’d missed him, but her actions contradicted that claim. “She is who she is, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I love that she can take care of herself, and Cadence, and everyone else who seems to need her.”
“But?”
“I want her to make us a priority this time.”
“What makes you think she wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know. Call it a feeling.” Or an irrational fear. “She came back to Aurora and started making plans to head back with me at the start of spring training. I mean, she had a talk with her father about the business and—”
“Hold up,” Ethan said, raising his hand. “Let me get this straight. Her first day back, she talked to the old man about leaving with you?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“And you’re questioning her commitment?” He shook his head. “Man, that doesn’t make any sense. If that doesn’t prove she’s committed to you, I don’t know what else you need. She’s willing to uproot her whole life to be with you.”
“But she’s not willing to marry me, at least not yet.”
Make Up Call (Summer Rush #3) Page 19