Chase hadn’t come back because he had anything to prove. He’d come back because his little girl was missing and he would have done anything to get her back. But if he’d been able to make an impression on Jayda’s father in the process, that was a bonus.
“You must be wondering what it’ll mean for you if Jayda decides to relocate. I hope she made it clear that you have options.” When Bill nodded, Chase added, “I was sincere about my offer to get you the help you need, you know. I hope you’ve considered that.”
“I’ve thought about it,” he said begrudgingly. “And I know that I need the help of a professional. It’s too much to expect Jayda to do it all. She deserves a life of her own, and for a long while now, I’ve been depending too heavily on her. I just didn’t know how to say it.”
At least they were on the same page about something. “If Jayda does decide to move back with me, I want you to know you’re welcome to come with us. We can find a nice place for you there. Maybe an assisted living suite? If you’re not cool with that, we could set you up in a condo or apartment and hire a personal support worker. At least then you’d be able to spend more time with Jayda and Cadence. I know she’d love having you nearby.”
“Jayda and I talked about it this morning, and I’m seriously considering that.”
“Good.”
“But there’s Dillon to consider. He’s—”
“All grown up now, Bill. He needs to learn to take care of himself. Maybe you guys moving away would be the best thing for him. He couldn’t show up on your doorstep whenever he needs a place to crash.”
“That’s what scares me,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t see my son homeless. My wife, God rest her soul, would never forgive me if I let that happen.”
While Chase’s family had never been close, he admired Bill’s sense of loyalty. He only wished his parents had learned to view him as something other than a meal ticket. “You know Jayda would never give up on her brother. In spite of her frustration with him now and all her tough talk, he’s still family, and I know she’ll always love him.”
“They used to be so close,” he said wistfully. “After their mama died, Jayda stepped in and started mothering Dillon because that’s what she thought he needed. I know she blames herself for enabling him, but it’s not her fault he turned out the way he did.”
“It’s not your fault either, you know.” Chase knew Bill blamed himself for his son’s shortcomings. Bill had probably spent an inordinate amount of time wondering what he’d done wrong or what he could have done differently.
“I don’t know about that.” He took off his glasses and set them on the coffee table before rubbing his eyes. “I feel like I’ve failed him. I was so busy trying to do right by my kids after my wife passed that I may not have been there when they needed to talk. I may not have supervised them as closely as I should have.”
“You can’t be all things to all people,” Chase said, trying to put himself in Bill’s place. “You did the best you could. You kept your family together. You kept a roof over their head and food in their bellies.”
“But I couldn’t earn enough to help them out with college. That always bothered me.”
“It’s never too late for that,” Chase said, trying to make him feel better. “Jayda could decide to go back to school any time she wants to. So could Dillon for that matter. As for Danny, I have a feeling he’d be doing exactly what he’s doing with or without a degree. Not everyone needs that piece of paper to be happy.”
“I guess you’re right.” He rubbed at his white whiskers, his hand noticeably shaky. “Jayda said she might like to go back to school.”
“And I’d love to support her… if she’ll let me.”
Bill chuckled. “She’s still giving you a tough time about that, huh?”
“You raised one stubborn, headstrong woman.” Chase loved that about her, but it also drove him crazy sometimes. “All I want to do is make her life better, easier, and she’s not sure she wants to let me.”
“I could talk to her, if you want?”
Chase was surprised Jayda’s father would do anything to pave the way for him, but he appreciated the offer. “Thanks, but I think this is something we need to work through on our own.”
“She might feel differently about her options when I tell her I’ve decided to sell the business.”
“Wow. Really? You sure you want to do that?” Chase knew how much Bill loved that shop.
“It’s time,” he said, sounding certain. “Time for me and my daughter to move on.”
Chase agreed, but he didn’t feel it was his place to pass judgment on something Bill had invested half his life in. “So you and Jay have talked about this?”
“This morning. She was the one who suggested it. Truth be told, I was only holding on to the place because I thought that was what she wanted. Now that I know that’s not the case, I’m ready to let it go.”
Chase nodded, thinking about how hard it would be for Bill when it came time to sign the papers and say his final good-bye to his second home.
“Besides, it’ll give me the money to get another place and pay for my own care.” He gave Chase a lopsided smile. “As much as I appreciate your offer, you know if my daughter won’t accept your help, I sure as hell won’t. Where do you think she got her stubborn streak from, boy?”
Chase grinned. “You don’t think I’m going to commend you for that, do you?” This was the only conversation he could remember having with Bill where they’d actually shared a smile. It was nice. It gave him hope that they could someday have an amicable relationship.
“No, I don’t suppose you will.” Bill chuckled as he put his silver-framed glasses back on. It took more than one attempt, because of the tremors, but he finally managed.
“I was just going to fix myself some lunch,” Chase said, standing. “Can I talk you into joining me?”
“Ah, why the hell not? Seeing as you’re probably going to be my son-in-law again, we should at least try getting along this time.”
Chase gave him a sidelong glance. “You have mellowed with age.”
“I haven’t mellowed that much,” he grumbled, shuffling along beside Chase. “If you hurt my daughter, I’ll still find a way to make you pay.”
Chase smiled. “Point taken.”
***
Later that day, Jayda was sitting at her desk when Jessie popped his head in the door. “Hey, pretty lady. You got a minute?”
She smiled, reaching for her abandoned coffee. “For you? I’ll always make time. What’s up, Jess?”
“I just wanted to give you an update on your brother.”
Since he had friends who were guards at the jail where Dillon was being held until his trial, he had promised to look out for Dillon and report back to him if there was trouble.
“Uh oh.” Jayda felt her stomach tighten. She was determined to let her little brother clean up his own messes, but that didn’t mean she wanted to see him get hurt. “Does that mean he’s had some kind of run-in with another inmate?”
“No, nothing like that.” He sat down across from Jayda. “In fact, according to my buddy, Dillon’s been keeping his nose clean. He had a tough time with withdrawal symptoms in the beginning, but the doc helped him through that.”
“I’m glad.” She released a slow breath. “I was afraid you were going to tell me he’d gotten into a fight or something.” Dillon had always been a bit of a hothead who shot his mouth off without thinking about the consequences of his actions.
“No, quite the opposite. My friend says he’s been a model prisoner. Could be he’s really serious about turning his life around this time.”
If time in jail didn’t convince him it was time, nothing would.
“I hope so. Nothing would make me happier than to see him actually giving something to this world instead of taking all the time. Or worse, being a waste of space.” Jayda knew it sounded harsh, but for years, Dillon had been coasting through life, ignoring his potent
ial in favor of getting high. If her mother’s death had taught her one thing, it was to value life, and she was tired of watching her brother waste his.
“Have you thought about going to see him?”
“Not really.” It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about him… every day. But she was trying to send him the message that she wouldn’t be there to clean up his messes anymore. He was on his own from now on.
“It might not be a bad idea. I know you’re pissed at him—with good reason—but making peace with him might make you feel better, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know, Jess.” She sighed, pulling her hair loose of the elastic she’d secured it in earlier. She rubbed her scalp. “I’ve given him second, third, and fourth chances over the years. I swore to myself I’d never abandon him. But he took my daughter and broke my heart. All for the sake of his next high.” She shook her head, feeling a fresh wave of pain over the choices he’d made. “How can I forgive that?”
“I know I don’t have to tell you this… but it was the sickness. It wasn’t him.”
“I’ve excused every bad decision he’s ever made by telling myself that, but he was the one who chose to put that poison in his body. Doesn’t that make him accountable?”
“I hear what you’re saying, but I’ve dealt with a lot of addicts over the years. Some get clean, some don’t. I’ve gotten pretty good at reading them, you know, being able to figure out who will stay the course and who won’t. And I feel like this might be a turning point for your brother.”
She’d love nothing more than to believe that was true, but her brother was a con artist who excelled at manipulating people. “So you’ve talked to him?”
“Yeah, I went to see him a couple of days ago. I didn’t want to talk to you until I’d seen for myself that he was on the right track.”
“So? What did he say?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she feared she’d regret it if she didn’t ask.
“He told me how sorry he was for hurting you and your dad. He said that taking Cadence was his rock bottom and no matter how hard it was, he was determined to change. There are NA meetings on the inside. Apparently he’s been going every day.”
“Really?” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d attended daily meetings, but she still viewed it as a glimmer of hope. “Was that his decision, or are they forcing him to go?”
“You can’t force something like that. It has to be the inmate’s choice. He’s been talking to a counselor too. He told me he’s talking, for the first time, to someone about how your mom’s death affected him.”
After their mom died, Dillon had become a different person. The funny, outgoing, athletic kid they’d all known and loved had turned into a withdrawn, sullen young man who gravitated towards friends who seemed as lost as he was. Jayda had recognized that he was venturing into dangerous territory, but she was just a kid herself… with way too much responsibility. She didn’t know how to help him.
“I’m glad he’s finally talking to someone about Mom’s death. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him about it, he’s shut me down.”
“Maybe he thought you had enough on your plate without having to help him sort out his mess.”
“But that’s what I’ve been doing since the day Mom died,” she said, suddenly weary. “Cleaning up my kid brother’s messes. Trying to keep him alive, off the streets, off drugs. Scraping together enough money to pay off the thugs he owed so they wouldn’t kill or maim him. I’m just tired.” She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. “I know this may sound terrible, but at least when he’s in jail, I don’t have to worry about him as much. It’s a bit of a relief, to be honest.”
“No one would blame you for feeling that way. You’ve gone above and beyond trying to help him. You deserve to have a life of your own, and if that means cutting all ties to him, I’d be the last one to judge you. I just thought you should know that maybe he’s finally starting to come around.”
She took a deep breath, offering him a weak smile as she considered the possibility of opening the door a crack for her brother. “Thanks. I’ll think about going to see him. I just need a little more time to decide if that’s really best for me.”
“Speaking of what’s best for you, I heard you took Cadence to her dad’s games. Does that mean you and Chase are back together?”
His smile seemed genuine, but she of all people knew how easy it was to put on a brave face even when it felt like your heart was being ripped out.
“We are. He’s staying with us during the off-season.”
“What happens beyond that?”
“I don’t know.” She finished her cold coffee before tossing the paper cup into the trash. “He wants to marry me again, but I guess I’m a little gun-shy. We made such a mess of things the first time. I need to be sure that we’ve really changed before I’m willing to take that step again.”
“Winning the World Series must have changed the way he looks at things.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a milestone, right? Hasn’t he been talking about that for as long as you can remember? Playing in the big leagues and winning a championship?”
“Yeah, I guess he has.” If there was one person who knew the old Chase as well as she did, it was Jessie.
“Now that he’s accomplished that, he must be turning his attention to other life goals. Thinking beyond baseball. I’m sure he’d love to win another championship, but I can’t imagine future ones will mean as much as this one did.”
She thought about how elated Chase and his teammates had been, rushing the field when their right fielder hit a walk-off home run to win the game. It was the first championship win for most of them, and they’d celebrated as though every moment in their lives had been leading up to that one.
“I imagine you’re right. Chase hasn’t said as much, because honestly I think it’s just setting in that he and the guys actually pulled it off. But in the next few weeks, he’ll probably have a few revelations.” She just hoped the win wouldn’t feel anti-climactic for him now that he’d finally achieved one of his big life goals.
“Maybe he’ll be able to put baseball into perspective now. Realize that at the end of the day, it’s just a game, not his whole life,” Jessie said.
Baseball had been Chase’s life as long as she’d known him. She couldn’t imagine some flashy ring changing that. “I don’t know about that. He loves it, you know that. He lives and breathes baseball.”
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to play second best to a sport. You deserve better than that. You deserve a man who’ll put you first.” He gave her a lingering look, telling her without words that he would always put her first.
“Chase said there’s nothing more important to him than me and Cadence, and I believe him. That doesn’t mean baseball won’t always be a close second, but I can live with that. His passion and drive to be the best are two of the things I love most about him, so I wouldn’t change that for anything.”
“He’s one lucky bastard to be getting this second chance with you. I hope he realizes that.”
Jayda knew that was Jessie’s way of giving them his blessing, and she knew that had to have been difficult for him, given his lingering feelings for her. She stood and rounded the desk, opening her arms when he stood. “I’m the lucky one, having a friend like you. Thank you.”
He hugged her hard, lifting her off her feet. “He better treat you right this time, sweetheart. If he doesn’t, he’ll have to answer to me.”
“He will,” she promised. “I believe in him, Jess.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jayda had spent a long and grueling day playing catch up at work, so she was beyond grateful not to have to worry about dinner when she got home. Chase had picked Cadence up from school and was helping her with her homework at the dining room table when Jayda got home. They had dinner together before Jayda oversaw bath time, and they each read their daughter a bedtime story before kissing her good night and tuc
king her in.
Chase kissed Jayda’s temple as she closed Cadence’s door with a soft click. “It could be like this every night.”
“At least during the off-season, you mean.”
“Right.” He smiled. “You feel like a glass of wine? Maybe watch a bit of TV?”
“That sounds perfect.”
He got the wine while she found a TV program they both enjoyed. When he returned, she accepted the glass with a grateful smile and a kiss. “So Jessie came to see me today.”
“He did, huh?” He stared straight ahead, looking tense. “Was he trying to convince you to dump me already?”
“No, nothing like that.” She curled her hand around his denim-clad thigh. “I know it bothers you that Jessie has feelings for me—”
“He’s in love with you, Jay. Of course it bothers me. Wouldn’t it bother you if you knew another woman was in love with me?”
She laughed. “I’m pretty sure hundreds of thousands of women are in love with you, Miller. I learned to live with that a long time ago.”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s not the same, and you know it. Those women don’t know me. And they only want to know me because I’m a ballplayer. Jessie knows you, like really knows you.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Sometimes I think he knows you better than I do.”
She set her glass on the table before turning to face him. “Hey, where is this coming from?”
“He’s been here for the past few years. He knows you in a way I don’t anymore. He’s been a part of your daily life. I’m sure he’s helped you with Cadence and—”
“Chase, Cadence is your daughter. I’ve never asked another man to step in and be there for her when you couldn’t. Jessie’s always been there for us as a friend and Cadence’s godfather, but he’s never tried to take your place.”
The last thing she wanted was to argue with Chase tonight, but he’d hurt her feelings. She took pride in the fact that no matter how miserable she’d been after the divorce, she always talked Chase up to Cadence. She wanted their daughter to know that her father loved her, even when he couldn’t be there to tell her himself.
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