Finding Erin

by America Leigh

  * * *

  “Mr Vance.”

  “Yes” I turned around to the doctor standing by the door with his hands in his white coat.

  “Can I talk you in private” The doctor asked, waving his hand over towards the door. I glanced over to Maggie, who was sleeping gain. She had done that a lot since the seizures that put her here.

  “Is there someone to watch her?” The doctor asked cautiously, careful not to say anything to set me off. Let’s just say I haven’t exactly handled my emotions very well. My mother would be disgusted with my behaviour, but I couldn’t give a fuck.

  “I brought more security in. My head of security cleared it with the director this morning.” I informed him, not comfortable with this line of questioning.

  “I would have suggested it anyway, after what I have just discovered.” The doctor continued giving me a cautious look.

  I nodded and followed behind him. He led me to an office and offered me a drink, which I declined. I wanted to get this over with and return to Er..Maggie has quickly as possible.

  “Well, Mr Vance. Over the last 72 hours we have closely monitored Maggie and analysed the dosage she was prescribed for her epilepsy. I can’t say this is going to be good news.” The Doctor took a sharp breath and continued. “Maggie was taking daily shots for her epilepsy or so it seemed”

  What?

  I gave the doc a puzzled look. “Maggie was given these daily shots has a cover so that she remained under the effects of the drugs that they administered into her system in the first two weeks they had taken her. I have spoken to Faith, Justice and Peace and they filled a lot of the blanks in, when it comes to Erin’s behaviour and medication. They have described the signs of long term drug use, even though she was still happy and focussed, her behaviour could become erratic and unpredictable. Long-term use of Benzodiazepine’s can affect your system on a cellular level, even though they didn’t administer enough to affect her daily. The drug has caused some damage and we cannot be sure of the overall effects that these drugs have caused.”

  “I don’t understand?” I asked, cutting the doctor off before her could finish.

  “The drug that was prescribed to Erin was called Midazolam. It is commonly used to sedate patients before surgery. Long-term use can cause amnestic properties. This dose combined with an activating drug was pumped into her system at a high dosage shortly after her disappearance. The drug was continuously being topped up by the daily dose. She was told to keep her epilepsy in check. In effect keeping the amnesia in effect. That is why she couldn’t remember anything before she was taken.”

  “If she has been this way for over a decade, then why did she collapse now?” I asked fiercely. I needed answer. Why the hell would someone want to drug her for this long?

  “The drug had reached a critical point. I don’t have a clinical definition for you Mr Vance. Erin’s body rejected the intrusion of this drug and collapsed at the sheer volume it has received. This initially caused the blackout and then her immune system started to shut down and that is why the seizures began. Then the paramedics administrated a similar drug to the one she had been taking for so long and had an adverse reaction and made her convulse even more, that was until fluids and antibiotics penetrated her system enough to cease the seizure. The diazepam basically just fuelled the fire, but no one could have prepared for that Mr Vance, because we were under the illusion that Erin was taking epileptic drugs, not Midazolam.”

  “So what are you telling me Doctor? Will she regain her memories of both Erin and Maggie or will she remain the Maggie she woke up as? Because I will tell you Doc, I didn’t marry the fifteen year old Maggie that is in that room. I married the twenty five year old Erin.”

  “I’m sorry, but there isn’t a simple answer. She could wake up tomorrow and remember everything and be both Erin and Maggie again or she could just return to Erin. I have spoken with other specialist’s in the country and they recommend rehabilitation for the next six months. They have seen a difference in their patient’s memories through this course of treatment. I must stress though Mr Vance, you may never see the results that you hope for. In regards to her rehabilitation. Maggie will stay here for now and then you may take her home, but she will need monitoring and physiotherapy and counselling to prevent any more damage being caused.”

  “How do I tell her? That she was her and then she wasn’t and now she is again, but she may revert at any moment back to Erin. How the hell do you explain that she’s a ticking time bomb?” I blasted my rage towards the Doctor. I wasn’t making any sense. The doctor stood firm, with a sympathetic look on his face. I winced. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to suck in as much air as possible, but all I could take in was my sterile surroundings. I ragged my fingers through my hair and felt the urge to pull it and feel some kind of pain. I wanted to feel something other than the excruciating pain of losing another part of Maggie. How did I find it in me to forget that part of her and love the old part? I didn’t know if I had that in me.

  Fuck!

  My breathing was laboured and I barged past the Doctor, who shouted after me. I was half way down the staircase and the silence descended. My throbbing heartbeat broke even the miniscule second I had to just breathe. I dug my mobile out and hit dial. “Entrance. Now” I barked abruptly into the phone and thrust it back into my pocket. The car screeched at the entrance.

  “Get in!” Rhodes shouted at me. I climbed in and panic hit my throbbing body at full force. I shook with such a vengeance that Rhodes had to pull over to restrain me.

  “This will all be ok.” Rhodes assured me, but how could he make those kind of promises when he had seen more devastation at war than most men did in their entire lifetimes.

  “You don’t know that.” I said in a bitter tone. No one could ever promise me that.

  “I can’t do this again. How can I keep her safe, if she doesn’t even really know who I am? Erin accepted who I was, with no explanations, no apologies. She just accepted our bond, that fate had a reason for bringing her back to me. Maggie isn’t Erin. She won’t be able to love me for me anymore.” I rambled.

  “What are you most afraid of Eddie? The fact that she won’t be able to love the harder version of you or the fact that she may see how far you had to go to keep her in the first place?” Rhodes questioned pinning me with a serious gaze.

  “I… I…”

  “That’s what I thought. The past is the past, man. If you keep letting it interfere with your future, you are setting yourself up for failure and a lifetime of indecisions. The one thing I learnt from the Military is you have to live everyday as your last because if you don’t, you are living a half-life and trust me, that isn’t a path you want to consider, it’s cold and lonely.

  “You’re one to preach. So are you planning to tell Faith how you feel about her?” I directed a pointed look into Rhodes direction and half snorted when he snarled in return.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “Talking of shorty, that’s what you call her isn’t it? Where is she? You haven’t left her side all week?”

  “Faith is sat with Erin.” Rhodes told me. His words were like a dowse of ice-cold water. Faith was sat with my wife because I couldn’t handle the fact that she may never be what I had grown to love. She would be forever more, a distant memory of finding Erin.

  The cold truth of the matter was that Maggie was here and unlike before I had a chance to love her, in any way possible. That was all it took. I knew what I had to do. I had overcome worse over the last ten years without knowing where Maggie was, so I’m sure I would survive without that little bit of Erin. I just had to be patient.

  “Pull Erin’s file and get me her medical records. I want to know who was administering her medication and who held her files before her coming of age and afterwards. Pull Faith, Peace and Justice’s files as well. I want to know everything about them. I don’t want to be in the dark Rhodes. If something comes after us or one of our girls
.” Rhodes nodded and smiled at my instructions. “I want to be ready.”

  “Yes Sir.”

  “Another thing, Rhodes. Make sure you tell Faith how you feel, because if she is anything like Erin, you need to keep Faith.” I told him truthfully, meaning those words both psychically and metaphorically.

  “Take me back” I ordered. I sat in silence for the rest of the drive. Rhodes had said all he had and left me to digest what they meant for Maggie and I.

  “Sir” Rhodes spoke softly as we pulled back in front of the Hospital.

  “Yes” I answered, not realising where we were.

  “Yes.” I started for the door and turned back to Rhodes.

  “I want checks on everything over the last three months. Accounts. Sales. Staff and everything you have on both our parent’s financial, business and personal transactions. Be thorough.” I demanded sincerely. If I was going to protect my family, I was going to have to start thinking clearly and that meant treating everyone with suspicion, even our parents.

  I felt the vibration first. I pulled my phone out and I started to tremble again when I saw the withheld number. “Vance”

  “When?” I yelled. Shit. Why was this happening again? I looked over at Rhodes stern face whilst he was gripping the steering wheel in frustration.

  “We need to move.” Rhodes was out of the car before my orders had been spoken.

  Chapter Twenty.

  Rhodes.

  “Master Sargent Rhodes calling for General Mather’s.” I stated my orders down the phone to the private on the other end.

  “Master Sargent Rhodes. General Mather’s is in a briefing at the present time. I have been told to request you to call back, Sir.” The private’s New York accent drifted down the line. It may have been five years since active duty, but I was still a highly ranked marine, enlisted or not.

  “Private. The general will take this call. Rhodes, master Sargent, 1st Battalion, 1st Marine Core, Recon Division, Special Ops.” I heard the sharp intake of breath from the private. “That was an order, Private.” I barked. As soon as I pulled rank and position, I heard another voice on the phone.

  “Rhodes, Is that you causing an uproar in my office” General Mather’s chortled down the line and his Texas accent was as thick and smooth as the whisky he drank.

  “Yes, Sir. I don’t seem to have much weight these days, without out ranking the sons of bitches” I chuckled in return. The General joined in again and I sighed with content at the familiarity of it all.

  “What can I do for you Sargent Rhodes? I know this isn’t a social call, as all our communication is carried out securely on another feed.” The general admitted. I knew what communication he was referencing to, but I wasn’t about to confirm or deny my involvement with the US government, even to him. I laughed at his blatant attempt to gain classified information from me. “Nice try, General. I need clearance to assess US files as the Agent who has interfered with this documentation is either US government or CIA.”

  Mather’s swore under his breath. “You know what you’re asking, boy. You’re asking for clearance to classified information. You may be a Marine, Sargent, but you are a retired marine or have you forgotten that.”

  “You know I have clearance at top level, General.”

  “Shit. I should have phones Forbes.” I said out loud. I remained quiet until I heard the Generals frustrated breath ease down the line like a coating of surrender.

  “Son of a bitch. This better be important Rhodes or they’ll have my balls for this.”

  “It is Seth.” I reassured him solemnly. I couldn’t divulged anything about Eddie or Erin over an unsecure line, but I had to protect them at all costs. Especially now that I knew Faith’s past was somehow entwined with this whole mess. “I swear.”

  “That’s good enough for me son. The codes and access will be sent securely from our mainframe, but remember Rhodes, this information will be confidential and secure, but If I feel that I need to know what the hell you are up to over there, don’t think I won’t pull rank son and breech security to protect my own ass. Are we clear on that?” The General stated with a level of authority I would never gain officially, but on the other hand I held more responsibility with the six people under my surveillance than I ever did within the marines.

  “Crystal”

  “Done” The General commented and the line went dead. The access I was about to receive from the US Government could lead me towards who was responsible for kidnapping Maggie. I hoped for Eddie’s sake that it wasn’t someone he trusted. I have seen first-hand what that kind of betrayal does to a man and the end result aint pretty.

  The codes were practically sent the minute Mather’s hung up. That was the easy part, now I had to rely on another to decode all the correspondence I could gain from the Intel. I wasn’t positive I could rely on him, but I had little choice on that matter.

  “Bailey. I have it. This is top priority.” I chattered down the line.

  “So the Marine needs my help now. I thought I was a jackass, a uncontrollable and selfish bastard that had an ego the size of Texas.” Michael rattled off sarcastically. This was a bad fucking idea, the fucker. Michael’s amused tone made my temper rise quickly and I needed to focus on the mission at hand, not throttling this ass.

  Faith.

  I had to think about Faith!

  “I need you to decode the files I specified last week and I need them ASAP and don’t forget Michael this is classified material and if anything illegal happens containing any of this information you will be charged with treason against the United States Government. Am. I. Clear” I threatened down the line to one of my oldest acquaintances, but the last one I would trust with vital information regarding Erin and Faith. Lucky for me, I had something Michael wanted in return. If this information was as good as I think it is. Eddie would be willing to give Michael anything he wanted in return. A lucrative contract that will make Bailey millions.

  “Remember our deal, Rhodes.”

  “You’ll get the contract. I guarantee it.”

  “Good. This will prove to Vance that I can access any information delicately and that I can be trusted.”

  “You have to back that up with action too.” I added.

  “Give me forty eight Sargent.” Michael confirmed and the line went dead. What I really needed was a name, so I could track down the fucker and eliminate the threat.

  * * *

  The hospital was eerily quiet. The white walls and the sterile smell that clung to the place was something I was becoming familiar with. This was one of the few things I missed about the states, English hospitals were informal and cold. American facilities were run more like businesses instead of a crippling NHS. This one was a hell of a lot better than the ones I’ve been scowering to find information about Erin’s medical past. I neared the door and pushed through the heavy doors and looked down the hallway. I saw Faith sat quietly, with her head slumped in her hands. My knees trembled in fear. What was this girl doing to me? Faith made me feel everything.

  “What happened?”

  “Erin…. She had..” Faith’s words clogged in her throat. Her small sobs came hard and fast.

  I wrapped her tiny frame within my grasp and pulled her tight up against my chest. Her warmth soaked into my scarred skin and I felt another one of my walls fall down at her feet. This was dangerous game I was playing and I godamn knew it. I knew Faith from our sparring this week that she was stronger than I gave her credit for. In this moment she was fragile.

  We didn’t speak another word. I just held her for as long as I could without panicking about how in such a small amount of time she had become everything. It scared the life out of me. The last time I trusted someone, I was screwed over and given an honourable discharge.

  Chapter Twenty-One.

  Eddie.

  “What the hell do you mean, when you say you don’t know why she had more seizures Doc? What the hell do you know?”

  “This is a complex cas
e, Mr Vance. As I told you before, there is no simple answer, nor is there a quick fix.” The doctor sighed and left the room. This has been the pattern since I got the call. Over the last 36 hours, Maggie’s had four more seizures and stopped breathing twice. The doctor and I have had this conversation several times now. The longer this was going on, I was losing all hope that she would ever come back to me entirely. Maggie had briefly woken. Her speech was slurred. Maggie’s slender fingers wrapped around my arm and brought me close. “Stay with me” She asked. Her accent was a mix between Maggie’s society repertoire and Erin’s Yorkshire slang. Both of my girls were in there somewhere. I was praying to god that they came back to me. “I’m right here.” I told her, looking into those beautiful caramel eyes that had lured me into her trap in the first place. “But are you here?” she asked, placing her delicate palm over my chest and hers in sync. Her slightest touch made my entire body shake with need. A need to protect her. A need to love her unconditionally and a need to be anything and everything she needed me to be. I nodded because there would be no one else but her for me. Maggie and Erin both held my heart forever. “Always” I bent down and ran my lips delicately over hers and promised myself, that I would get the bastard who tried to take her from me and make them feel the loss of losing someone so precious that held your soul.

  Rhodes walked into the room looking more confident than I had seen him in the last two weeks.

  “Done” He said in one syllable. The effects that could unfold from that one word could define everyone’s futures that held ties to my beautiful wife. I would protect her no matter what. Fuck the consequences!

  * * *

  The seizures finally stopped after two days of pacing the hospital corridors. I have never hated hospitals more than I did at this very moment, but the doctors were optimistic about Maggie’s recovery. They stabilised her and were pretty confident that there would be no permanent neurological damage. All I wanted was to take my wife home and make her better. The doctors had sedated Maggie to try and restore her brain activity as the seizures had made her nervous system shut down temporally. I watched as the doctors started withdrawing the sedation and the extra tubes that were in her arms. They weren’t exactly sure when Maggie would wake, but they were confident that she would. Her brain activity had returned to normal and the effects of the seizures were minimal.