Kissing with Fangs

by Ashlyn Chase

  He strode to the heavy oak door and opened it wide. “Can I help you?”

  “Funny,” the five-year-younger Kurt said. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  “Come again?”

  “Thanks. I hope to come here often.” The stranger-at-the-time gave Anthony a bright grin, making him wonder if he had found another friend, perhaps of the paranormal variety.

  “Come in.” Anthony stepped aside and let the man enter. “Are you looking for a job?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “What position are you interested in applying for?”

  “I was thinking of something a little outside the box.”

  Anthony scratched his head. “Have a seat and tell me about it. By the way, my name is Anthony Cross, and you are…”

  “Kurt.”

  Anthony wondered why Kurt didn’t give his last name, but it didn’t really matter. Until he heard the man’s idea, this would be nothing more than an exploratory meeting.

  “So, what is this out-of-the-box idea you have in mind, Kurt?”

  “Well, it’s like this. You’re going to need someone like me to handle unusual situations if things get dicey.” He leaned back in his chair and draped an arm around the finial, looking like he owned the place.

  “What do you mean by someone like you?”

  “I’m an ex-marine…and a wizard.”

  Anthony couldn’t help his surprise. His reaction showed on his face, and the guy laughed.

  “Seriously. I figured you could use an undercover bouncer. I’ll just hang out and drink, like a regular. That way it won’t spook the clientele, but you can rest assured that if any disagreements get out of hand, I can fix whatever happens pretty quickly.”

  “How?”

  “I can freeze time. Well, not exactly time. It has to do with quantum physics, but instead of explaining how it works, why don’t I just show you?”

  Anthony’s curiosity demanded he explore it…whatever it was. “Okay. As they say in Missouri, ‘Show me.’”

  “Look at your watch.”

  Anthony’s Rolex indicated it was eight thirty. A moment later, it was eight forty-five and he hadn’t seen the hand move.

  “Shit.”

  “No shit.” Kurt grinned. “I can’t erase minds, but that’s where you come in. I think you can do that with hypnosis. Right?”

  Anthony gave him a sidelong look.

  “So, how about it?” Kurt persisted. “Do we make a great team, or what?”

  “How much do you want per hour and when can you start?”

  ***

  Mother Nature folded her arms. “They’re real good about not revealing themselves or each other or any of their unusual abilities, aren’t they?”

  Anthony shook his head hard as if to erase the nostalgic image. “How did Kurt know what I was? I never asked him.”

  “And you never will if I do this for you.”

  Anthony paced and muttered out loud. “I’d just assumed as often happens when one opens oneself to the universe, serendipity or ‘coincidence’ stepped in. But now that I think about it, Nick must have told him.”

  Mother Nature tipped her head. “Like I said… So, are you changing your mind?”

  When he considered being able to live a normal life with his normal wife, who he’d propose to as soon as he had a believable birth certificate… “I really want my humanity back. All of it. Good and bad. But do I have to lose my friends? Can’t you just strongly warn them not to say anything? Make it really clear to them what will happen?”

  She let out a huge sigh. “Give me a day or two, and I’ll see what I can come up with.”

  Anthony’s gaze snapped to the goddess’s face. “You can…” He rolled his eyes. “Never mind. I forgot who I was talking to.”

  Gaia laughed. “Now you’re getting it.”

  “But there’s one thing you should know.”

  “Oh? What’s that?”

  “One of your special children has been a thorn in my side for centuries. I know it was my fault for turning her, but is there any way you can turn her back or keep her away from us? She only recently lost her goal of making our lives a living hell, and I’m not ready to trust it yet.”

  “Ruxandra.”

  “You’re aware?”

  Mother Nature sighed. “Yes. I’ve seen you struggle to handle her, and I have to give you props for patience. She can be a handful.”

  “You got that right,” Claudia said.

  Holding up one palm, Mother Nature continued. “I’ve witnessed the new relationship, and her bond with the wizard is real.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Anthony said. “But I’m still apprehensive.”

  “What about turning her human…” Claudia asked. “I know she doesn’t deserve it as a reward, but it might be a really good idea for everyone concerned. I can’t imagine—”

  Gaia held up her palm to interrupt Claudia. “Do you have any idea how hard this is to do? We’re talking about rearranging DNA.”

  Claudia’s shoulders slumped. “I guess it’s out of the question. I just can’t help worrying that we’ll be even more vulnerable if we don’t know what she’s capable of.”

  “She’s not interested in bothering you anymore.”

  Anthony looked at her skeptically. “How can you be sure?”

  Gaia snickered. “That’s one of my strokes of genius—not just for her, but for many jilted lovers.”

  “What is?” Anthony asked.

  “Ever heard this little ditty? The fastest way for a woman to get over a man is to get under another one.” Who do you think invented that?

  Claudia’s hand covered her mouth. Anthony didn’t know if she was trying to stifle a gasp or a chuckle.

  Gaia composed herself after her own hearty laugh. “I think they’ll be bitten by the travel bug at some point. A little wanderlust will keep them out of your hair.”

  “But we’ll still be friends?” Anthony asked.

  “You’ll get postcards from all over the world.”

  Claudia smiled. “That sounds good to me. Does it work for you?”

  He returned her smile. “Yes, it does.”

  ***

  Brandee placed the Back in five minutes sign in the glass front door of her photography gallery and lifted her adorable baby girl from her playpen. “Ready.”

  Gaia folded her arms. “I know you don’t like to close in the middle of the day, but this is going to take more than five minutes.”

  “Like how much longer?”

  “At least fifteen.”

  Brandee chuckled. “It’s a ballpark figure. No one will hold me to it.”

  Smug minor goddess. “You like being your own boss, don’t you?”

  Brandee grinned. “You know it.”

  “As my muse, you are technically in my employ, and you know how I don’t like to micromanage.”

  “Yes. I’m grateful for that.”

  The powerful goddess waved her hand at the sign and suddenly it read, Back in fifteen minutes. “On the other hand, sometimes I do.”

  Brandee grimaced. “Message received.”

  “Good. Now gather up all the regulars and meet me at Boston Uncommon.”

  “But it’s Tuesday. It’s closed today.”

  “Exactly. We need to meet without the human staff. Is that a problem?”

  Brandee shrugged. “No. I guess not. As long as they don’t suddenly decide to show up.”

  “I’ve taken care of that. The bosses are sleeping in today, and there’s no way the employees will come in on their day off.”

  “That’s for sure. Well, I guess you’ve thought of everything. I’ll get the group together and we’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Good.”

  Th
e goddess disappeared and reappeared in the tea room. Her muse did as she was told and gathered the owner and manager’s wide circle of paranormal friends and sympathizers. In a matter of seconds the room began filling up.

  First to arrive was Nick who lovingly took their baby girl in his arms. Then Brandee disappeared again and returned with her brother-in-law, Konrad, and his wife, Roz. Next, Sadie the psychic. After that, Tory, Kurt, and Ruxandra. Drake and Bliss. Eventually, Sly and Morgaine.

  “Is that it?” Gaia asked.

  “Other than friends of friends, I believe so. If we think of anyone else, we can fill them in,” Brandee said.

  “Fine. Now here’s the deal, folks.” Mother Nature paced in front of the group with her hands clasped behind her back. “I’m rewarding Anthony and distracting him at the same time.”

  The guests glanced at each other.

  “He needs to give up the crazy idea that paranormals can meet in a public place like this and all get along. Eventually this foolish plan will backfire.”

  “You don’t want us meeting in a safe place?” Nick asked. “We never would have been able to take down that lab if not for our ability to work together.”

  “It’s too risky,” she said. “There are humans working here. You know damn well how I feel about humans learning that paranormals exist. It’s the biggest mistake you can make.” She eyed the whole group. “As you all know.”

  Most of the members nodded their heads.

  “Do you want another lab popping up, doing experiments on you?”

  They all shook their heads.

  “Right. I understand a merman outed you. He’s been dealt with. I don’t think he’ll find much water in the Sahara Desert. Am I making myself clear, people?”

  Everyone nodded.

  “Exposing your kind makes me very angry, and you don’t want to make me angry.” She glared at each and every one of them in turn.

  Kurt raised his hand. “We get it. But why isn’t Anthony here?”

  Mother Nature folded her arms. “I’m getting to that. Anthony’s fondest wish is to become human again. That means he’ll be mortal. He’ll eat regular food, he’ll poop, and he won’t go into a death sleep at sunrise. As a result, he and Claudia will have to have every memory of paranormals erased.”

  Bliss gasped. “Are you saying Drake and I can’t be friends with Claudia and Anthony anymore? She’s my best friend.”

  “Of course not, but you’d better not slip up.” Gaia pointed a long, unmanicured fingernail at each one of them. “That goes for all of you who befriend them or any other human.”

  “We won’t. Don’t worry,” Nick said.

  “You’d better not. There are still active volcanoes, and I can drop any of you into one if you really piss me off. Any more questions?”

  “Um…I read tea leaves here. Can I still work?” Sadie asked. “I’ve never revealed a peep about the paranormal element to humans.”

  “That’s true,” Kurt said, “In fact, the one time we had a breach, it was Sadie who convinced everyone they were being ridiculous.”

  Mother Nature tapped her lips. “All right, but be extra careful.”

  “I will. I promise,” Sadie said, and crossed her heart.

  It was the first time Gaia had met the human psychic, and she couldn’t help being impressed by how relaxed she was in such exceptional company.

  “How did you wind up in this peculiar band, human?”

  “Anthony’s my seventh great-uncle and was best friends with my beloved until he met his true death.”

  Mother Nature smirked. “Well, you’ve got the lingo down. You’ve never divulged the existence of paranormals to anyone?”

  “No, Goddess.”

  “Not even a priest?”

  “No, Goddess. Never. Anthony calls me Aunt Sadie, so people know we’re related, but we shifted our relationship to make it look natural.”

  Satisfied, Gaia said, “Good.”

  “What if we want to meet here just to have tea and talk about the weather? Is that okay?” Ruxandra asked.

  “I’d rather you stay away from this place. You’re skating on thin ice as it is. But if for some inexplicable reason—one that I can’t even imagine right now—you absolutely have to be here, remember…no hints, no whispers, not even a conspiratorial wink to each other. That goes for everybody. You’re just friends. Got it?”

  “Yes, Goddess,” she said. The others nodded or murmured in agreement.

  “Excuse me, Goddess. I have a question,” Tory said. “There may be occasions when we should talk to each other paranormal to paranormal. If we meet somewhere else, is that all right?”

  “Did you have a particular place in mind?”

  “I have a large home on the hill.”

  Gaia narrowed her eyes. “Your girlfriend is human.”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’re going to keep all paranormal discussion from her?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “The answer is still no.”

  “What? But if she’s not there…”

  “She will be.”

  A slow smile crept across Tory’s face. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “Yes. Find another place, because soon it’ll be her home too.”

  “Hallelujah!”

  Kurt slapped Tory on the back. “Congrats, man.”

  Mother Nature purposely used her bored voice so they wouldn’t get carried away. “Yeah, yeah. Many happy returns. So does anyone else have a place?”

  Sly and Morgaine glanced at each other. A moment later they said in unison, “We do.”

  “Ah, yes.” Gaia chuckled. “The brownstone on Beacon Street. That place was a hotbed of upheaval a few years ago. Are there any unknowing humans living there now?”

  “No. I’m the building’s super, and my daughter owns the place,” Sly said. “Her husband is one of us, and every tenant has some paranormal secret to keep. We even have an empty apartment we could use.”

  “Is it on the ground floor?”

  “Uh, no. Second floor.”

  “Perfect. No pesky reporters peeking in windows. Use that.”

  An audible sigh of relief filled the room.

  Mother Nature regarded their expressions. “You genuinely like each other, don’t you?”

  They all answered in the affirmative.

  “You even trust this one?” She pointed to Ruxandra.

  Some of them squirmed.

  Ruxandra place a hand over her heart. “I know I’ve been a horrible person—even for a vampire, but I’m doing everything I can to change that now. Right, honey?” She turned to Kurt.

  “I believe her,” he said. “And she’s under a truth spell so everyone can.”

  The rest of the group smiled and the closest ones patted Ruxandra on the back, murmuring encouragement.

  “Well, I’ll be darned. His stupid experiment worked. That doesn’t mean I want it to continue. At least, not here.”

  “But you said we could still be friends with Anthony and Claudia,” Bliss reminded her.

  “Go out to dinner as a foursome. Stop by one at a time and talk about mundane things. I don’t expect you’ll stop caring about them.”

  “Good, because we won’t,” Drake said. It was the first time he’d spoken up, but he was probably just worried about his wife being best friends with Claudia. Gaia didn’t like the way he said it, but she understood why.

  “Would you like to rephrase that, Dragon?”

  “Uh…okay. I doubt we’ll stop caring about our dearest friends.”

  Mother Nature considered his wording and decided he was demonstrating the proper respect for her. The absolute minimum, but she’d let it go. “Yes… Well, I’m satisfied, for now. But if I have to put out any fires…”

 
“You won’t,” Drake promised.

  She turned to her trusted muse. “Brandee, be sure everyone gets the address of the new meeting place and then return everyone to their homes or businesses.”

  “Yes, Goddess.”

  Morgaine pulled several business cards out of her pocket and handed them to the others. Gaia snagged one.

  “Psychic readings. You do these out of your home?”

  “Yes, Goddess. Many psychics do.”

  “That means humans frequent the place,” Gaia said.

  “Sometimes. I also do readings over the phone.”

  “Are you willing to do all your readings over the phone from now on?”

  “Yes, and I will. I promise. No more unsuspecting humans in the building.”

  “Hmmm.” Gaia shrugged. “Okay. I guess we’ve covered all the bases. Have nice lives.”

  “Troops, we’ve gotta fly,” Brandee said, and they all disappeared.

  ***

  Anthony and Claudia woke up on a blanket in a shady spot of Boston Common.

  Anthony sat up and looked around to get his bearings. Oh, yeah. We were having a picnic on the Common.

  Claudia sat up next to him. “Wow. I can’t believe we fell asleep in the middle of a bright sunny day…on Boston Common, no less!”

  “Yeah. We must be working too hard.”

  She sighed. “I really want to make the tea room a success.”

  “I know, but apparently closing one day a week isn’t enough. Wednesday isn’t a busy day. Why don’t we take both Tuesdays and Wednesdays off? Or better yet, why don’t we hire an assistant manager? We could actually get away once in a while.”

  “Like where?”

  Anthony had been waiting for the right time to propose. This might be it. He rose, took the ring box out of his jacket pocket, and then dropped onto one knee. “Like on a honeymoon. A brief one, but we can take a longer one later.”

  Claudia’s mouth formed an almost perfect O, reminding him of a certain sex act she performed so well.

  “Are you asking me to marry you?”

  He chuckled. “I suppose I should actually say the words, huh?” He took her left hand in his right. “Claudia Fletcher, my love, my life, my only… Will you marry me?”

  She grinned. “Absolutely, yes.”