Lilith Mercury, Werewolf Hunter Series (Boxed Set, Books 1-3)

by Tracey H. Kitts

  “I had no idea it upset you so much—”

  “And it wouldn’t upset you?!”

  When he didn’t have anything to say I took a step toward him.

  “Let me show you just how personally I take things, Marco.”

  My reflexes were as fast as his and I grabbed both his hands before he could stop me. Immediately I plunged into the surge of my memories, like diving into an ocean. I found every hurtful rumor and threw them into Marco. I wanted him to know exactly how it felt to be talked about and spied on like I had been, especially lately. I had always been a hot topic of conversation around town, but lately I couldn’t blow it off anymore. It had always hurt my feelings, but the more I found I was being watched, the more I took it personally. I stopped just short of revealing what was happening with Richard. That was his private business, and I’m sure he wouldn’t want me sharing it with anyone else.

  But there was more I wanted Marco to know. I didn’t want him to think my cruelty had no price. Through my touch I let him feel how much it hurt me to speak to him the way I just did. I wanted him to know how much I wanted him to stay, but all of the reasons that were running through my mind that he should go. I relived everything I felt when I was with him and I let it flow into him. I recalled how it felt when I was with Elijah. I wanted Marco to know I was not in love with Elijah, but being near him had helped me to remember a part of myself I’d thought was dead.

  He broke the contact suddenly and it rocked me on my heels.

  “Don’t do that again without asking me,” he panted. “That wasn’t fair.”

  “No, what’s not fair is you showing up and expecting me to just—”

  He moved faster than I could see. His lips were on mine, hot, warm, and insistent. At first I struggled, but my heart wasn’t in it. Marco deepened the kiss and my knees felt weak. I melted against him. The heat of his body burned me through the towel and my nipples hardened in response. The full moon wasn’t far away. It was unwise of me to be near him so close to the change, but when it came to Marco my restraint was limited. He pulled back slightly, but his arms remained tight around me.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t come here to argue, Red. Please, don’t make me angry. Don’t punish me for trying to protect you.”

  “Is that what you called yourself doing?”

  “Yes. That’s why I’ve asked people to watch over you, not spy on you.”

  “Same thing,” I said.

  Somehow I managed to pull away from him. I walked to the railing on the balcony and Marco followed me. He placed his hand in the small of my back. The warmth of his touch soothed me.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” I said softly.

  “I never said you hurt my feelings.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  He moved closer and my hip brushed against his thigh. Maybe it was because I was barefoot and he was wearing shoes, but I could have sworn Marco was taller than I remembered.

  “How tall are you?” I asked.

  “Six-foot-two. Why?”

  I gave him a confused look. “I thought you were six feet tall. Well, that explains why you always looked taller to me.”

  “Oh, Red,” he said teasingly, “Did you read my bio back when I was with the Hunters?”

  “I might have.” I smiled.

  “I know you did, because they got my height wrong,” he said with a wink.

  I laughed. “All these years I thought you looked taller in person.”

  “Want to see what other measurements they got wrong?” He smiled his wolfish smile and I nearly said yes.

  “I’d like for you to explain to me why exactly it is that you’re having me followed.”

  Marco placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him.

  “I’m just trying to protect you. I never meant to invade your privacy. And I’m not having you followed, but if a pack member sees you somewhere, I like to know about it.”

  I opened my mouth to object, but he stopped me with a finger to my lips.

  “Please don’t tell me all of the reasons it isn’t any of my business. I don’t need any more reminders that you’re not mine to protect,” his said softly.

  The pain in his eyes tugged at my heart, but there was nothing I could do about it. I placed my hand over his where it rested along the railing. Looking into his eyes was too painful, so I focused instead on his hand. Marco had nice hands. That was one of the first things I’d noticed about him. You can tell a lot about a man by looking at his hands. Marco’s hands were big and strong, and capable of as much violence as they were tenderness.

  “I’m sorry for what I said earlier about the cop, it was none of my business,” he said. “But it hurt.”

  The last wasn’t spoken out loud, but through my touch I read his thoughts.

  “I’ve never asked anyone to report the private details of your life to me, but when he mentioned that you were with someone, I pushed the issue. Because I was jealous.” Again, the last was heard only in my mind.

  “It was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.”

  He removed his hand from mine and caressed the side of my face as he whispered, “Don’t be mad at me, Red. It hurts too much.”

  “Stop,” I whispered.

  “Stop what?”

  “Touching me, I can hear your thoughts.” I wiped at the involuntary tears that were spilling over my eyelashes.

  But he didn’t stop touching me. Instead, he wrapped me in his arms and whispered, “I have nothing to hide.”

  I pulled my arm between our bodies and reached up to run my fingers through his hair. “You should go.”

  He sighed. “I should never have come.”

  “So why did you?”

  “I can’t stay away,” he said softly.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t want to let you go.”

  “I can’t make you,” I said.

  He smiled, but his expression looked pained. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? You can make me do anything you want, Red.”

  “You should go,” I repeated.

  “I know.”

  But he didn’t let go. I rested my head against Marco’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as I said softly, “You can’t stay, Marco.”

  “I know.”

  I rubbed my face against the soft fabric of his shirt and breathed deeply of his wonderful scent. I was going to have to make him leave, and that was something I wasn’t sure I could do.

  “Go home, Marco,” I said gently.

  “I am home.”

  I could still hear his thoughts and it was killing me.

  “All right.”

  “Let me go,” I whispered.

  He stepped back slowly, trailing his fingertips down my arms.

  “Goodnight, Red,” he said softly.

  Before I could answer Marco swung over the balcony. He made no sound as he hit the ground and was gone before I could look over.

  *****

  I was glad he took off so quickly, because I could not have watched Marco leave. His slow walk down my driveway over a month ago nearly killed me. I didn’t have it within me to watch him walk away again.

  After a few minutes I went back inside while I could still resist the urge to follow him. The shower that had seemed like such a good idea before was more like a punishment now. No matter how hot I turned the water it seemed cold in comparison to the warm flesh I could have been touching.

  A morose funk settled over me and I decided a sleeping pill was in order. I dried off, threw down my towel, and walked back downstairs nude. I didn’t really want to take anything, but if I didn’t, I might not sleep at all. Turning Marco away had nearly killed me ... again.

  As I entered the kitchen, I noticed my communicator sitting beside the answering machine. I’d been talking to my father earlier and must have left it there. He called ever so often, to check on me. No sooner had I noticed it, than the communicator began to blink. At this point, I was
tired and still pouting over having to make Marco leave. I also completely forgot I was naked, and pressed the button.

  Alfred appeared and the look on his face said how glad he was to see me.

  “Hold on,” I said.

  I walked into the sitting room and grabbed the gold velvet throw that was draped over the back of the sofa. By the time I walked back into the kitchen a minute or so later, it was wrapped around me like a big bath towel.

  “What did you do that for?”

  He looked genuinely disappointed and I couldn’t help but smile.

  “I didn’t mean to answer the call naked. Sorry.”

  “Well, it is the middle of the night there, isn’t it?”

  “Close enough.”

  It was good to see Alfred, even if it was only a hologram. I needed to hear his voice. I felt a weight lift from my heart and wondered if things would be better once he got back, simply because I’d be near him again.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

  “Nothing, I’m just tired.”

  “That line might work on someone else, but I know you too well. You look absolutely depressed. What’s wrong?”

  I crossed my arms in an effort to hold in some of what I was feeling. There was no reason to unload everything that was going through my head on Alfred. Besides, I couldn’t even begin to tell him what was really bothering me. I hadn’t even shared with Kat what the full extent of my feelings were toward Marco, because the truth was, I didn’t really know. I had to put him out of my mind, or I’d go crazy. Whatever the future might hold for me with regards to Marco could not be changed with worry and indecision. For the moment, I had no choice but to move on. I loved Alfred, there was no doubt of that in my mind. And he deserved to be loved completely, not a half-assed promise that I’d be faithful.

  Whatever I felt for Marco, it was not love. I liked him, I really liked him. But love was something that took time, at least for me. And time with Marco was a luxury I had not been afforded. Until recently he was my sworn enemy, and though I thought better of him the more I knew, I was having difficulty reconciling the difference.

  There was no way to sum all of that up in a way Alfred would understand. At least not until he said softly, “I miss you.”

  That was it. Those were the words I’d been searching for.

  “I miss you too.”

  “It’s all right, whatever it is,” he said softly.

  If he had suggested that I brush it off, or just get over whatever was bothering me, I’d have been fine. I was always prepared for anything but compassion. It was the one thing that could break me. Be angry all you want, yell, scream, fight, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t be kind to me, because my heart can’t take it.

  Tears began to well up and I tried my best to hide it from him. I busied myself with pouring a glass of water but Alfred wasn’t stupid.

  “I was planning to be back next Sunday.”

  I nodded and faced the sink, keeping my back to Alfred’s hologram.

  “Do I need to come sooner?” he asked gently.

  “No.” I sniffed. “I’m fine. It’s just ... I really am tired and—”

  “Are you sure?” he interrupted.

  I turned back to face him and forced myself to smile. “I’m fine.”

  Alfred’s concern showed through his smile as he replied, “I don’t believe you, but I’ll see you next Sunday, unless you tell me otherwise.” The smile faded with his last few words and his hologram leaned toward me as if that would bring him closer.

  “Cara mia, do not hide from me,” he whispered softly.

  I wanted to cry. I wanted to fall on my knees and cry. So much had happened in the past three months, so many things that I had no choice but to hide.

  “I’m not hiding.”

  “Perhaps not, but what I see before me tonight is only a shadow of the woman I left behind.”

  Then it occurred to me there were some things I could share with Alfred. I could tell him about Mathias Alexander being my great, great, grandfather! But as soon as the thought crossed my mind I remembered who it was that told me about Mathias, and knew I would have to keep that to myself as well. I could have told him how worried I was about Richard, but he didn’t like Richard. I could have told him about Mathias, but couldn’t explain the situation without mentioning Marco, and that would never do. Of course, I couldn’t tell him about Elijah either. Oh hell, I’d just keep my mouth shut.

  Finally, I decided I’d tell him half the truth. It was never my intention to hide anything from Alfred, but there were things that had transpired within the past few months that would have to remain secret.

  “These past few months have been difficult,” I said. “I guess I’m just lonely.”

  “That will shortly be remedied,” he said.

  Alfred seemed to study me for a moment. As long as we’d known each other, I knew what he was trying to do. He was looking for a sign that I was lying to him. He was waiting for me to flinch, or turn away from his scrutiny, but I did no such thing. I looked him right in the eye with my most blank and weary stare. I was very glad that Alfred could not read my mind.

  “All right,” he sighed. “If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. I don’t have to know everything. But, I know you and you’re not just lonely.”

  “Alfred, I have never lived alone, ever. For all you know, this is how loneliness affects me. How would you know otherwise? You’ve never seen me lonely.”

  He seemed to consider my response for a minute.

  “That may be true, but I’ve seen you with your heart broken before.” He smiled with a kindness I’d rarely seen, and a tenderness that I had not before witnessed. “Surely, it doesn’t break your heart to be without me.”

  “Actually, it does. Just a little.” I smiled weakly.

  “What do you need me to do?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath and gave the matter some thought before replying, “I need you to hold me and say wicked things to me in Italian.”

  “That I can do,” he said with a smirk.

  “We shall see.”

  I heard a bumping noise and Alfred turned toward a door that I could not see. He turned back to me with a smile and said, “I’ll see you next Sunday.”

  “Buona notte,” I whispered.

  He raised an eyebrow as he responded, “Yes, goodnight.”

  After our conversation ended I took a sleeping pill and went up to bed. It had been good to talk to Alfred and perhaps once he got back, things would be better. It was never my intention to hurt anyone by spending time with Elijah, but I was afraid I had hurt him.

  It was also never my intention to even really know Marco, let alone know him well enough to hurt his feelings. But part of that could not be helped. He obviously cared for me, and there was definitely something between us. I just wasn’t exactly sure what that something was. Since I didn’t have the time to find out, nor the ability to see the future, that gave me little choice except to let go as best I could and get on with my life.

  But letting go of Marco, like so many other things in life, was easier said than done. The one thing I was certain of was what I felt when I looked at Alfred, and that had to be worth something. Once he returned, I was sure it would be easier to let go. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

  *****

  The following week passed much more uneventfully. Elijah called once, but I hadn’t heard from Marco since that night on the balcony. I fought the urge to reach out to him with my mind, just to know that he was all right. It took all week for me to resign myself to the fact that I had to let go of him if Alfred and I were ever going to have a chance. If I couldn’t do that, Alfred might as well not come back at all, and I missed Alfred.

  *****

  It was late Saturday night and I was in the training room practicing my technique with the new blades Alfred had sent me when I stopped suddenly. The most horrible feeling came over me and the sweat I’d worked up became cold again
st my skin. I sat on the floor and tried to figure out exactly what was wrong with me. I wasn’t injured in any way. Nothing hurt. But, I felt sick. I started to stretch, slowly lowering my heart rate while I racked my brain for an explanation to why I felt so bad. It was not unusual for me to feel someone else’s pain, but normally I had to be touching them in order to do that. So my theory was that whoever felt so bad, since it wasn’t actually me, must be very close to me emotionally in some way. Someone was trying to reach out to me.

  I decided it was time to practice some of what I’d learned from Mathias. I stretched out on the floor, flat on my back, and began to breathe deeply. As my heart rate began to slow more and more, I reached out with my mind to those I cared for. I thought of Kat, and knew she was all right. Just as quickly as the thought had entered my mind, I let it go so I could move on to the next. I thought of my father. He was fine. Normally, he would have been my first thought, but my father could take care of himself. And besides, I had the impression that whoever might be responsible for the feeling I had was close by.

  I sat up and started running for the phone only seconds before it rang.

  “Richard?” I panted. “Richard, what’s wrong?”

  He didn’t answer for a full minute and I was becoming more and more alarmed.

  “Are you all right?”

  “How fast can you get here?” His voice was faint, and it scared me.

  “You’re still at work?” I knew the answer, but had to ask the question in order to be sure.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Chapter Seven

  I was dressed in the black bodysuit I normally trained in, and there was no time to change. Richard needed me. So much for not being seen in public wearing spandex. Quickly, I ran upstairs, jumped into my boots and strapped on the rest of my blades. In a matter of minutes, I was on my way to the garage at a full run. Richard hadn’t said what was wrong, but he didn’t have to. The fact that he’d called me so late sounding the way he did was enough.

  Alfred’s vehicle of preference was parked closer to the house than mine. I opened the first garage door and took his key from its hiding place. Alfred drove an armor plated Hummer. It was black with silver accents, real silver accents. It was also loaded for bear with the largest amount of firepower I’d ever seen crammed into one vehicle. I knew how to use guns, I just preferred a blade. However, something in Richard’s voice told me I might be needing both. Lightning tore through the sky like the crack of an almighty whip. By the time I reached the end of the driveway, the bottom fell out.