Unfaded

by Sarah Ripley

* * *

  I was great. I was fantastic. By the time eight o’clock rolled around, every single muscle in my body ached worse than anything I’d ever felt before in my life. I could barely walk down the stairs. Even lifting the make-up brush to apply eye shadow nearly killed me.

  “I’m dying,” I said to Kian when he came to pick me up.

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said with a big grin. “Next time don’t play so hard.”

  I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster.

  The movie was at nine. Amber and Claire met us around eight thirty. I contemplated crawling into the theatre but that probably wouldn’t look good on my behalf. I couldn’t move fast enough. At least when we stopped I was able to lean against Claire to keep from collapsing.

  Amber looked fantastic. She was wearing a short jean skirt and a nice black sweater that brought out the paleness of her skin and the highlights in her blonde hair. Normally she was bubbly but tonight she was practically bouncing off the wall. Her cuteness factor was through the roof.

  Claire looked lovely too. Her blonde hair was tied back in a long French braid. She wasn’t wearing anything as daring as Amber, she tended to stick to jeans and shirts but there was no denying her beauty too. She may have been more reserved but I happened to know there were a lot of guys who liked her. She was always just too busy to pay attention to them.

  They both liked Seito, one for his brains, the other for his looks, and both for his personality. I wondered whom he’d choose and whether or not it would affect our friendship. Once again I thought about making a comment to him.

  “So what exactly happened to you?” Claire asked when I leaned into her again for the third time.

  “I got a little too eager while cleaning my bedroom,” I said. “I think I pulled a muscle.”

  Ok, so that was the understatement of the century. Still, I wasn’t about to let my soreness keep me from having a good night. With the way my life was heading, I’d be lucky if I got anymore of them.

  Kian paid for everyone’s tickets and wouldn’t take money from anyone who tried to offer. He wasn’t trying to impress, money didn’t seem like much of an issue for him. Afterwards we got into a long line for popcorn and drinks. There were a lot of students. Addison didn’t have a lot going on in the evenings and the only movie theatre was often sold out on weekends. I had a lot of people nodding in my direction and saying hi. There were a lot of strange stares too.

  “It’s because of the fight,” Claire whispered to me. “Everyone’s saying you took on some girl and landed her in the hospital. They’re all curious.”

  “Sheesh, punch one girl and you never get to live it down,” I said.

  “You really hit someone? Who?”

  “You don’t know her and she deserved it. And she was fine. No blood or anything.”

  Claire was looking at me like she’d never seen me before. “Are you sure you’re all right, Mai? I’ve known you my entire life and I’ve never heard you talk that way.”

  I knew what she was thinking. She thought that Kian might not be the good influence she first thought he was. Of course she was right but I couldn’t admit that. Up until a few weeks ago I used to be the type of girl who would feel terrible if I saw a dead squirrel on the road. I once blasted Connor for an hour and refused to speak to him for a week because he got into some macho screaming match with some university students at the ski hill. Now I was a girl who punched someone and then shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

  Was I killing off the old Mai? How long would it be before I was gone completely?

  Claire was still watching me carefully. She wanted an answer.

  “It was a onetime thing,” I told her. “You know I’m not the type to fight. I hate that sort of thing. It’s so juvenile. Besides, she hit me first.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” she said but she didn’t sound convinced. She knew there was something different about me. She just didn’t comprehend how much.

  Meanwhile Seito was dazzling Amber by telling her stories about his time in Hollywood when he hung out on the set of one of her favourite movies. Amber was obviously enamoured. When Scott Myerson walked over to say hello she barely said two words back.

  We loaded up with tons of junk for which Seito paid and went in to find our seats. Both Kian and Seito wanted to sit in the last row. Amber was thrilled. She thought it meant they wanted privacy. I knew better. It was a security issue. They didn’t want anyone having the chance to sneak up on us. Both of them sat on opposite sides of me with Amber beside Seito and Claire at the end.

  The theatre was packed and I saw a lot of people I knew. I saw Breanna come in with her friends Sue and Chelsea. They were with Ken and Scott, both of whom were on the basketball team. I was glad to see Connor wasn’t with her. She probably wasn’t very happy about that. It was petty of me to think that, but if my ex-boyfriend was going to start dating again, I wanted him to be with anyone other than her. He deserved better.

  I quickly discovered that sitting wasn’t going to be any more comfortable than standing. Squirming around, I spent the next few minutes trying to find a position that didn’t involve my muscles screaming in agony. It was turning out to be quite the chore.

  “When the lights go down you can always take a nap,” Kian whispered in my ear. "Don't feel bad or anything. It's not your fault you can't keep up."

  "Ha ha," I said sourly.

  “Get a room,” Seito said loudly as he reached across me for the Milk Duds.

  I would have murdered Seito if I wasn't feeling like I was about to die myself.

  The movie started off with a huge death scene. The killer ruthlessly sliced and diced his way through a sorority house. It was pretty graphic, lots of blood and body parts flying across the screen. Seito was enjoying himself enormously, chewing away at the popcorn that Claire and Amber no longer seemed to want. They were huddled together as they normally were during horrors, both their hands inches from their faces just in case the action got too intense. Seito shoved the popcorn in my direction and I took a handful, making the mistake of turning my head to thank him. The big grin on his face was pretty funny and I found myself coming down with a bad case of the giggles. I smothered my mouth in my jacket. Massive laughter during a death scene is never a good thing. I concentrated instead of keeping my attention on the movie, I was afraid if I even glanced in his direction I might end up in hysterics.

  I guess when you’ve been around for a few hundred years, something as silly as a horror movie might not seem so serious. Seito lived through World Wars, the Vietnam War, the Boxer Rebellion, even the Civil War. He’d seen natural disasters, man-made disasters, the Great Depression, and quite possibly a bunch of other things I hadn’t even learned about in history.

  Maybe it was one of those things you just had to laugh about.

  Twenty minutes in, the death toll was up to five and there was no shortage of teenagers wearing skimpy clothes. My eyes were beginning to grow heavy. I kept nodding off and jerking awake. Finally sleep took control.

  I was back at the village where I was a dark skinned girl awaiting her fate while her family arranged her marriage. Back at the river where the women came to gossip as they spread their clothing on the rocks to do their daily washing. Through the trees I could see the smoke rising from the temple as the priests went about their rituals. My parents were just beyond that in their own hut, discussing proposal plans. They’d be so furious if they knew what I was about to do. I was supposed to remain chaste. Being alone with a man who was not my husband would be considered the ultimate betrayal to the father who raised me.

  Kian was there, waiting with his hand out. My own hand was so tiny and dark against his. My hair was long and flowing, how I wanted him to brush the strands away from my cheeks. He stood before me, with his long hair and grey buttoned jerkin. We didn’t even speak the same language but that hardly mattered. I would learn English when I went away with him. I’d all ready made my decision.


  Soon he was leading me through the woods just as my previous vision and I grew excited because I knew where he was taking me. We were going to the place where the large rock lay flat and wide enough for the two of us to be alone.

  We knelt down on the ground together and I ran my fingers along his pale white skin while his own hand stroked my hair. He leaned in and my lips parted. I closed my eyes, waiting for his touch.

  I didn’t see the knife but I felt it tearing its way through my stomach. I opened my mouth to cry but no sounds came out. I couldn’t breathe. I placed my hands against my stomach and the blood seeped through my fingers, drenching them with boiling hot liquid. I looked up into his face but there was no warmth there. Those perfect eyes, such a unique colour, like the sky just before the sun went down, they watched me with a cold stance. And pity, I could see sorrow on his face.

  “Why?” I whispered in a language I didn’t understand.

  He stabbed me again, higher up and now I could feel the pain as metal tore through me, crippling me. I fell backwards and the knife easily slid out of me as I dropped to the ground. Lying on my side, the blood flowed freely, staining the rock beneath me.

  Kian's boot dug into my shoulder, giving me a sharp jab.

  My vision began to blur.

  Then I was back in the movie theatre, screaming and clutching my stomach as if to keep the blood in. Just about every single person turned around, their eyes on me but I barely noticed.

  They were all watching me. Amber, Claire, Seito and Kian. Oh, god, he was touching me. His arm was on my shoulder.

  “Mai?”

  In a blind panic, I shoved him back, trying to get him away from me. I got out of my seat, stumbling over Seito as I backed up in panic. Amber reached out and I swatted at her. I could still feel the blood dripping from my stomach but when I placed my hands against myself they came away dry.

  “Mai?” Kian was reaching out for me. His voice was low. He was trying to calm me down. “It was just a dream. Nothing more. You’ve been sleeping for the past ten minutes.”

  “Get away from me,” I hissed.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Amber’s voice held a hint of hysteria.

  I pushed my way through the aisle, past Amber and Claire and a few other movie goers who uttered some harsh words that I ignored. Once I managed to get around the seated bodies, I stumbled and hit the carpet on my knees and literally crawled several feet before I managed to regain my balance.

  Kian caught up with me at the doors. In the darkness I couldn’t see his face but I could feel the energy as he grabbed my arms. There was panic in that power, it poured into my body, adding to my own hysteria. I started to scream and he shoved me against the wall, covering my mouth with his hand.

  I was trapped. The entrance to the theatre was only a few feet away. I could see the light of the lobby slipping through the cracks by my feet. No one in their seats could see me. The wall separated us.

  “You need to listen to me,” he said. “Whatever it is you saw, I can explain. It’s not what you think.”

  I struggled against him. All I could think about was the knife as it plunged into my body. My stomach clenched in pain and I closed my eyes until the cramps passed. Tears welled up and poured down my cheeks, soaking his fingers. Removing his hand from my face, he reached up and touched the side of my mouth.

  “You killed me.” The words stood in the air between us.

  “Oh, Mai.”

  With a surprising burst of energy, I shoved him back and was free. I didn’t give him a chance to come after me. Turning, I pulled the door open and escaped into the brightness of the lobby. Lots of people were standing around and the noise of their voices surrounded me, filling my ears, spooking me. I needed to find a place to hide. I needed to get as far away from Kian as I could.

  I had trusted him. How could he do that to me?

  I raced past the concession stand and rounded the corner where I promptly ran smack into Connor and Eugene. I hit him hard, his bucket of popcorn toppled from his hands, scattering across the floor.

  “Mai?”

  I couldn’t speak. My lungs burned from lack of air. From beyond the concession stand I could see Amber and Claire rushing towards me. Seito and Kian were right behind them. My stomach clenched again, pain shot along my nerves into every corner of my body. I turned to Connor, the only person in the world I could trust.

  “Help me,” I said.

  At that point my legs stopped working and I started to fall. Connor’s quick arms shot out to catch me before I hit the ground. I gasped for air but my lungs remained empty.

  “She’s hyperventilating,” someone said.

  “Get her on the ground,” Eugene said.

  I could see myself lying on a rock, spread out and vulnerable while Kian reached down to claim me.

  “No!” I clung to Connor, used his body as a crutch as I pulled myself together. I inhaled again and the air finally came. Gasping, I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs. My heartbeat slowed a bit as I fought to win back control.

  Amber was the first to reach me. “What happened? Are you ok? You scared the crap out of us.”

  “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine,” I muttered. It was my mantra. If I said it enough it would become the truth. Kian reached over to touch me and I couldn’t stop myself from cringing. Connor immediately came to my defence.

  “Hey!” he slapped Kian’s hand away from me. “Don’t you touch her.”

  Kian completely ignored him. Instead he held out his hand. “Mai, come with me. I can explain everything.”

  “Leave me alone,” I said, a large sob caught in my throat.

  “I don’t think the lady wants you around,” Connor said. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

  The two of them stared at each other for a long time. Amber reached out and hugged me. I allowed the embrace but I couldn’t do anything but stand there with my hands by my sides.

  “Maybe we should take you home,” she said and Claire immediately started rummaging through her purse for the car keys.

  “I’ll take her,” Connor said.

  “Don’t do it, Mai,” Kian said. “You know it’s not safe.”

  “Listen buddy,” Connor pulled himself up to his full height and pressed a finger against Kian’s chest. “You’re just not getting it, are you? She doesn’t want to be with you. Now be a smart guy and walk away. I’ll take it from here.”

  “Is that what you want?” Claire asked me. “Cause I can take you.”

  “I want to go with Connor,” I whispered.

  Kian’s eyes narrowed but he backed away. Seito followed him and they moved across the lobby to the corner where they started talking. Kian never took his eyes off of me.

  “I’ll catch up with you later, man,” Eugene said, patting Connor on the back. He moved over with Amber and Claire who watched me with concerned expressions.

  I allowed Connor to take me by the hand and lead me away.

  Outside, the air was cool and crisp. I walked alongside Connor, his fingers warm against my skin. My breath was flowing again and puffs of white clouds escaped my lips when I exhaled. His car was parked halfway down the block and I climbed inside, surrounded by the familiar interior. It was comforting, as if it had waited for me all this time. So much had changed in my life but Connor’s car remained the same, from to the hula dancer on his dashboard to the crack in the windshield from last summer when we’d come home from the beach.

  Connor started the car and we waited in silence while the engine warmed. Through my passenger mirror I saw the headlights of Kian’s car. Of course he’d follow me home. He was supposed to be my guardian. But who was going to save me from him?

  What a fool I was. Was this his way of getting close enough to kill me? How many times had he done this? It must get easier every single time, winning my trust, gaining my love, only to kill me once he was done with me. It was like getting tossed into the garbage. I’d never felt so used.

  “I can’
t believe that guy,” Connor finally said. His fists clenched the steering wheel, knuckles turned white. “Who does he think he is treating you that way?”

  I didn’t say a word. I no longer knew the answer.

  “If he comes around you again, let me know. I’ll make sure he never touches you again. I’ll get the guys after him.”

  “No,” I said. “Just let it go.”

  “But...”

  “No.” I pulled on my seatbelt. “Leave it alone, Connor. For me.”

  “Ok,” he said but I could tell he wasn’t happy. Putting the car into gear, we burned out of the parking lot. From behind us Kian’s car pulled out and followed. It made me both sad and angry to know he was still going to try and keep the game going. He was still pretending that he cared.

  “Do you want to go someplace?” Connor asked. “I mean, just to talk. I’ve missed you, Mai.”

  “I want to go home,” I said, my voice hollow and empty. “I’m tired.”

  He was hurt by this but I didn’t care. Connor wanted to play the hero by rescuing me and I was fine with that. But I wasn’t going to let him back into my life. How could I after everything I’d been through? All I wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep until all the bad things disappeared.

  Connor took me straight home. He even walked me up to the door to make sure I got inside.

  “Can I call you tomorrow?” he asked. “Just to talk. I’d like to start talking to you again. I’m not kidding when I said I missed you.”

  “Ok,” I said.

  His face brightened and he bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I tried not to shudder when he got too close. All I saw was Kian’s soft lips as he pressed in towards my body. I felt his warm breath on my face as he prepared to betray me. I watched the knife as it plunged back into my body.

  “Good night,” I said.

  Dad and Marley were watching television in the living room and thankfully it was dark so they couldn’t see my face.

  “You’re home early? Did you have a good time?” he called out as I rushed up the stairs.

  “Yeah, it was fantastic,” I called back, trying to make my voice sound as cheerful as possible. This lying thing kept getting easier all the time.