Love on the Free Side

by Mariah Ankenman

  “Oh man, I haven’t had a meal this good in…I can’t even remember.”

  “No Italian restaurants out in Boston?”

  She glanced up from her plate to give him a little smirk. “Are you kidding? Only one every block. But in college, I did the typical poor starving student surviving off microwaved noodles, and then after, I had my internship and residency. I was so busy, I barely had time to eat, let alone go out to an actual restaurant.”

  He laughed, twirling his fork in the noodles. “I know what you mean. Some nights, the kitchen is so busy I eat from the return cart. Standing up.”

  Her brow furrowed, bite of fettuccine paused halfway to her mouth. “What’s the return cart?”

  “It’s a cart we keep in the kitchen with orders that get messed up. Most places throw the food away, but my people work like mad and need to refuel, so I set it up for them to grab a bite if they need.”

  Soft, pink lips tilted up in a smile. “That’s so sweet.”

  Not really, more practical than anything. Restaurant work was hard whether you were a server or kitchen staff. If one of his people passed out due to low blood sugar or fatigue, he’d have a hell of a mess on his hands. Better to keep them happy and fueled. Happy employees worked harder. Business 101.

  “So, tell me more about what you’ve been up to the past few years.”

  As Jamie began to talk, he sat back, enjoying the good meal and great company. She glossed over her college days, chatting more about her recent residency with a small psychologist office in Northern Colorado. He’d had no idea she’d moved back to the state after college. All the schooling required for a doctorate in psychology and a residency in eight years—wow. Although, he had to admit, he always knew she’d do amazing things. Impressive as hell.

  “My boss wanted me to stay and work the clinic with him, but I couldn’t see myself there long term.” She scooped the last bite of alfredo covered noodles into her mouth before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong, he was an amazing mentor, and I loved helping the people there, but I had my own dreams and needed to follow them, even if this turns out to be a giant failure.” Her smile faltered, upper teeth catching her bottom lip.

  Pushing his plate to the side, he reached out to grasp her hand. It trembled slightly in his hold, or maybe that was him. Damn, this woman still affected him too much.

  “You could never be a failure, Jamie. Starting a new business is hard and scary. Believe me, I know, but look at all you’ve accomplished. Most people never go for their dreams. They sit there day after day in dead end jobs, talking about how ‘some day’ they’re going to do something. You are doing it.” Stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, he gazed into those light brown eyes. Toffee, they’d always reminded him of sweet toffee. “No matter what happens, you went for it. That alone makes you a success.”

  A bright smile lit up her face, and his breath caught in his chest. She gazed at him without any of the pain or wariness he’d come to expect since their reunion. For a moment, he spied the girl he fell for so many years ago.

  “Thank you, Tony. I think I really needed to hear that.”

  He stared in awe at her captivating beauty, the warm moment slowly turning into something more. His skin prickled and heated where he touched her. He watched as her pupils dilated, mouth parting in a small gasp. Now, he wanted nothing more than to tug on her hand, pull her over the table, and take those sweet lips that had been haunting his memory for years.

  He was weighing the pros and cons of doing just that when she blinked, dispelling the moment.

  Pulling away, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a soft blush rising on her cheeks. That sweet, innocent blush had bowled him over every time when they were teens. Damned if it still didn’t today.

  “So, I bet Peak Town is pretty boring now that you live in New York City.”

  “Actually, I miss the slow pace of small town life. New York is very…” He sat back, judging his thoughts to make sure the words came out right. Finally he settled on, “Loud.”

  Yeah, a perfect description.

  “Loud? Like the traffic?”

  “Yes, but also the people. Everyone is always rushing about, trying to show everyone else how important they are. No one stops to ask how anyone’s day is. No one really gets to know one another. Everyone is an acquaintance, a contact. A person someone can add to their list of people to show how very important they are.” At least, that was how he saw it. Maybe it was just him. “I’m surprised you never visited New York. It’s not that far from Boston.”

  “Never got the opportunity. Too busy with school.”

  He believed that. Even back when they’d been together, she’d often bring schoolbooks on their dates. He’d found it adorable. Her commitment to her education had been a huge turn on.

  “So, did you finally bring your mother out here? Does she live in New York with you?”

  A sharp ache stabbed his chest. Avoiding her gaze, he grabbed their empty plates and headed to the kitchen sink. Twisting the knobs, he rinsed the dishes under the warm water before answering. “No. I’m afraid she passed away before I could bring her to the States.”

  A gasp came from the table. “Oh, Tony. I’m so sorry.”

  He could hear the compassion in her voice, but he didn’t turn. “She was sick before I left Mexico, but I didn’t know. She kept it from me. My uncle says she sent me away because she didn’t want me to watch her get weaker every day. Didn’t want me to suffer that.”

  Soapsuds squeezed from the dishrag clenched in his fist. It still gutted him to know his own mother had lain in some hospital bed, alone and dying, while he’d been thousands of miles away totally unaware. He would have dropped everything to go back and be at her side. He missed her, and at the same time, he held a slight bit of anger toward her for denying him his chance to say goodbye.

  “I’m sorry.”

  A soft hand touched his shoulder. He hadn’t even heard her move across the room.

  “I’m sure she meant well.”

  Yeah well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  “She would have been very proud of you.”

  He turned toward her, her beautiful round face inches away, filled with a host of emotions. Jamie always had been crap at hiding her feelings.

  “I know, but I wish she were here to tell me herself.”

  Dammit, when had this become a pity party for him? He never talked about his mother much, not even with his uncle. So why the kitchen confessional moment?

  Staring at the woman in front of him, he knew the answer. Her. Jamie. He’d always been able to talk to her. She had this accessible, honest demeanor that made people open up. A fine skill for a psychologist he’d bet.

  He opened his mouth to ask—hell, he didn’t know what—when the sound of her phone interrupted. She pulled the ringing cell from her pocket and glared once she gazed at the screen. What kind of call would prompt such a reaction from the normally sweet-natured Jamie?

  “Something wrong?”

  “No, it’s nothing.”

  She was lying. He could tell, but he didn’t call her on it. Didn’t have the right anymore.

  They didn’t have that kind of relationship. But they did have…something. There was a spark there still; he felt it, knew she did, too.

  He knew it wasn’t a good idea, but a part of him wondered what would happen if they tried again. They were older now, different, but essentially, the same people as they were before. Could they make it last this time around?

  “Thank you for the meal, Tony. It was delicious.”

  Cold and distant Jamie was back. He didn’t care much for her this way. No, that wasn’t true. He cared for her no matter what, but it broke his damn heart to see her so…reserved. Like someone had snuffed out her light.

  Wonder who could have done that, asshole.

  “I have to get back to work now. Will you be setting up the rest of the kitchen today?”

  “Yes, and then
I thought I’d take a look at some of the repairs that need done. Make a priority list.”

  She nodded, hand still gripping her phone tightly. Whoever called had upset her. Was it the same person who had called earlier? A dark sense of unease churned in his gut. The thought of someone making Jamie unhappy didn’t sit well with him.

  “Good. Leave the list on my desk before you take off for the day.”

  “I will.” At that, she nodded, all signs of her earlier softening toward him gone.

  Turning, she headed out of the room, leaving him to wonder what the hell just happened.

  Chapter 11

  Who the fuck is that guy?

  He’d been watching her place all day, temper rising with every minute. Some asshole had been hanging around, talking to her, cooking for her, touching her.

  Sonofabitch! No one should be touching her but me.

  She was his. They belonged together. Why couldn’t she see that?

  Choking back his anger, he took a deep breath. The chilly night air burned his lungs. Did it ever warm up here? Even the middle of the day barely hit past seventy degrees. It’s June for cripes sake. Hadn’t this shithole town ever heard of summer?

  He tugged his coat tighter around his body. The night may be cold, but his fury burned red hot. Why isn’t she leaving, giving up?

  Not that he expected her to go so easy, but he’d hoped. Jamie had a stubborn, determined streak a mile wide. One of the many things he loved about her. But she needed to learn to park that shit when it came to him. He knew what was best for her, why couldn’t she see that?

  And now, here she was taking up with some…some…hombre. Seriously, who was that guy, and why was he so familiar with Jamie? He knew she wasn’t dating anyone right now. An employee maybe? Made sense, seeing as how the guy cooked a meal for her. Had she found someone to replace her missing chef already? That would explain why she wasn’t closing up shop and heading back to the city. Back to him. But if the guy was an employee, why had he touched her so intimately, it didn’t make sense. Jamie was nothing if not professional in the work place.

  A fact he knew all too well.

  A cool breeze picked up, whipping across the back of his neck. Shivers raced down his spine, and he swore. “Get your head in the game, man.”

  It didn’t matter who the asshole was. He had a job to do, a mission to accomplish. Get Jamie to give up this ridiculous therapy camp idea and come home. Gentle prodding hadn’t worked.

  Time to up the stakes.

  The wind snaked through the branches of the trees he stood under, causing a few pine needles to fall on his head. He shook them off, glancing at the main house through the dense forest cover just off the main property, waiting until every light in the house shut off. When they finally did, and after counting to a thousand, he made his way out of the woods, heading toward the barn. He’d let the horse out. No horse, no horse therapy camp. Simple as that.

  The full moon provided adequate lighting for him to scurry across the grounds without use of a flashlight. Good thing, too. He didn’t want to get caught and have to come up with some lame explanation. Hiding truths was a skill he’d perfected over the years, but he didn’t think anything he could say would convince Jamie he wasn’t here because of her. Besides, it would ruin his plan if he were discovered this early. He needed to be in the background. The person she called when her dream didn’t pan out. The shoulder she cried on…the man she ran home to.

  If you’d just come back where you belong I wouldn’t have to be here in the first place.

  Anger boiled inside as he tried to focus on the plan.

  Shuffling up to the barn, he kept the house in his peripheral vision. No noises, no light, all clear. He slipped in the small side door of the large building. Inside, smells of hay and horseshit assaulted his nostrils.

  “Fucking hell, how can anyone enjoy living like this?”

  He’d never understand it. Never in his life had he indulged in fantasies of being a cowboy. Who the hell wanted to ride a dumb animal when there were cars in the world that could go from zero to sixty in thirty seconds? Three hundred and fifty horsepower beat one horse any day of the week.

  The barn had no windows, so he lost the light of the moon. Darkness fell over him, obscuring his vision. Pulling the flashlight from his jacket pocket, he clicked it on. The bright beam split the darkness, highlighting his surroundings. A bunch of cowboy junk hung on the walls: saddles, brushes, long rope things. He scanned the barn, noticing all of the stalls were empty…all except one.

  A freaking huge, gray horse made a weird snuffing sound as the ray of light hit it square in the face.

  “Hey there, pony. I’m not going to hurt you. In fact, I’m a good guy. I’m going to set you free.” Animals shouldn’t be kept in cages, right? Isn’t that what those activists were always saying? He was just being a good citizen letting this poor creature go.

  And without the horse, Jamie would have to come crawling back to him. Perfect plan.

  He made his way over to the stall. The massive beast’s nostrils flared; it shook its huge head and made a loud…neigh-type sound. What the hell is that called, a whiney?

  “Hey, easy there. You want to be free right?”

  Reaching out a hand, he came closer, but the stupid beast reared up on its hind legs, snuffing and whinnying like the hounds of hell were after it. It stamped its hooves into the ground, slamming against the pen. Wooden beams shook, and he swore he heard a cracking. He jumped back, damned creature nearly giving him a heart attack.

  Shit, what the hell? Didn’t the animal want to be released?

  “Fine, asshole! I won’t set you free. Enjoy your captivity, you dick.”

  What-the-hell-ever. Probably a stupid plan anyway, now that he thought about it. Sure, Jamie would be out one horse, but he’d bet she had more coming. Couldn’t provide therapy to a whole camp with one horse.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  This whole situation was making him lose it. Ever since she’d been gone from his life he’d been on a downward spiral. He needed her. She had to come back to him!

  He shook himself. This wasn’t the time to drop focus. He needed to get it together and think of a new plan. Operation Free Horse was out. So, what else would make Jamie realize she made a huge mistake leaving the city?

  Pondering the question, he made his way out of the barn. A quick glance to the house revealed the horse’s theatrics hadn’t woken her. Good.

  He started to click the flashlight off when the beam fell across her truck parked in the driveway.

  Of course! What was the one thing the city had this crap town didn’t? Well, a lot of things, but most important…public transportation.

  Without a vehicle, she couldn’t do anything. This place wasn’t like the city with tons of stuff in walking distance. Everything was miles away here. Without a car, she’d be sunk.

  Glee filled him as he hurried to her vehicle. A mechanic he was not, but he knew enough to stop a car from running. Popping the hood, he reached into the engine bay and pulled the coil wire. There, that ought to do it.

  A dark chuckle escaped him as he shoved the part in his pocket.

  “Try to get that fixed in thirty minutes or less.” In a town this small, he’d bet they only had one auto repair shop. No way would she get repairs in the next week. He glanced back at the ranch house, a dark, longing ache settling in his chest. “You will come back to me.”

  She had to; they were soul mates. He’d known it the moment he laid eyes on her. She made him feel comfortable. He could be himself around her; he didn’t have to pretend or put on a show. When she asked how he was, she truly wanted to know. Not like the polite small talk bullshit everyone else participated in.

  He missed talking with her, connecting to another person in such a deep and meaningful way. After this, she would realize the conveniences she gave up to come back to this one horse town. He chuckled at his own joke, then sobered. Jamie belonged to him, and he wouldn’t
stop until she saw that.

  Tucking his flashlight back into his pocket, he turned and headed back through the woods. Misery, anger, and determination drove every step he took away from her. He didn’t want to walk away; he wanted to be with her. Every day, every moment. They had been good together. Then she’d ruined it by leaving.

  He clenched his fists, furious heat burning away the chill of night. They would be good together again. He’d make her see that.

  If it was the last thing he ever did.

  Chapter 12

  Child pose was the best position in yoga in Jamie’s opinion. Downward Dog, however, could taking a flying leap off a short cliff. She grunted, straining to press her heels to the floor while keeping her knees straight. One would think after three years of yoga she would be able to do this dang pose. Her second year of grad school had been particularly grueling with her dissertation, so a friend had suggested taking up yoga. The easy, lying on the ground positions helped immensely. All the really stretchy ones made her frustration mount even more.

  “I’ve never seen a dog stick his butt up in the air like this,” she grumbled to her empty bedroom. “Ugh, why do I do this still?”

  She muttered the same thing to herself every morning, and yet every sunrise, there she was, cursing a horrible exercise named after an adorable animal. Yoga had its ups and downs—she chuckled at her unintended joke—but in truth, it did calm her mind. Something she needed on a daily basis since her brain seemed to go a million miles an hour at any given time. It had to; she had a lot to do.

  Thinking of the day ahead, she made a to-do list in her head of all the tasks that needed to be accomplished. Things needed cleaning and fixing, parts for the fence and other repairs ordered. She would need to head into town. Secretly, she was glad for the last fact. Tony would be here again today, and she didn’t think she could take another day in such close proximity to him.

  Yes, by buying this place, their place, she had been trying to exorcise old demons, knowing she still had some hang-ups when it came to Tony.

  “What did you expect me to do when you keep yourself so closed off from me?”