Risking Her Heart: A Contemporary Romance Novel

by Rochelle Katzman

  “Are you drunk?” As much as she enjoyed his company, if he was drunk, she’d rather stay away.

  “I was buzzed, but the shower sobered me up,” he said. “I wouldn’t be with you if I was drunk. I want you when I’m sober. Being around you when I’m drunk would be pure torture.”

  “You want me that much?”

  “Yes, now come on.” Drake’s hand was still extended.

  Livvie took it, even though she felt slightly uneasy. He was fully dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. If he was drunk he probably would have shown up in a towel after his shower.

  “I swear, I’m not drunk. And I promise I won’t touch you,” he said, before leading her out her bedroom door.

  She believed him. In fact, his promise made her feel safe. She kept one hand around the blanket as she walked with him down the hall. He released her hand for only a second to open a door, before grabbing it again. Together, they climbed a small, winding staircase. At the top of the stairs was another door. Drake opened it, and Livvie gasped.

  “It’s beautiful, Drake.”

  They were on his roof. The view was breathtaking. Since it was still dark out, she could see millions of stars. Even the mountains had little lights coming from houses that were nestled in the trees. It looked magical. It looked surreal. It looked perfect. She felt Drake’s eyes on her, so she turned toward him.

  “You’re beautiful, Olivia.”

  He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. Then he led her a little farther down to where there was a large couch. He sat down, and she followed, their hands still clasped.

  “I like to come up here at night. I never get sick of seeing the stars. All those years I lived in New York I never saw a single one. The bright city lights made it impossible. But here you see thousands.”

  Livvie got more comfortable, pulling her legs up and tucking them under her and tightening the blanket around her. No small feat, considering she was still holding Drake’s hand, but she didn’t want to let him go.

  “I’ve only seen stars in Los Angeles when I’ve gone hiking in the mountains.”

  “You went hiking at night? Was it safe?” Drake asked, concern etched all over his gorgeous face.

  She laughed and shivered slightly. “Yes, I’d go with a bunch of women. It’s totally safe.”

  “Come here.” Drake released her hand, so he could scoot Livvie closer. Then he put his arm around her. “You’ll feel warmer now.”

  Livvie loved snuggling up against him. Neither Zach nor Liam liked to cuddle. It always bothered her. She was a very affectionate person.

  “Thank you,” she said softly. “I feel warmer already.”

  Drake tightened his arm. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring a bottle of wine.”

  “I don’t need wine. I just like being next to you.” Livvie bit her bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Using his free hand, Drake raised her chin. “I like it, too. I enjoy your company very much.” He paused. “You were right to say no to me, even though no woman ever has. I wanted to sleep with you before I got to know you. That was wrong, and you deserve better. I’m not saying I don’t want to sleep with you now, but I’m respecting your wishes.”

  She smiled softly. “Thank you. You’re not easy to resist.”

  He chuckled. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m not a perfect man, Olivia. I wish I didn’t have these commitment issues. If I didn’t, I would pursue you like crazy.”

  Livvie looked into his eyes, seeing the pain reflected in their depths. “What happened to make you so dead-set against committing to one woman?”

  “I watched my mom go through hell. I was young, and I couldn’t do anything to make her feel better,” he said. “I know I should be over it by now, but it’s etched in my sub-conscious.”

  Livvie touched his face gently. “Have you seen a therapist?”

  “Yes, years ago. But I still haven’t been able to commit. And now, I no longer want to.”

  She looked down at the blanket. “Do you think you’ll ever change your mind?”

  “There are moments when I want to change my mind. Like when I met you.”

  Livvie’s heart beat faster. She was leaning against Drake. She was sure he could feel it.

  “That’s something at least.” She didn’t want to look at him.

  “Olivia, look at me,” he said in his demanding tone.

  She raised her eyes. “I’m looking.”

  Drake smiled. “We may not have a future, and we may never see each other past this week, but I promise you, I will remember every moment we’re together.”

  “But I’ve only known you for a short period of time.” Livvie had never felt so confused in her life. She was snuggling with an alpha-male who couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to one woman, but who seemed vulnerable, soft, and warm at the same time.

  Drake sighed. “I’ve been telling myself the same thing, and I don’t have an answer.”

  Livvie leaned closer and rested her head against his shoulder. “I forgot to thank you for the journal. That was the reason I came out of my room earlier.”

  Drake chuckled again. “It wasn’t because you wanted to fuck me?”

  Livvie laughed, even though her eyes started to feel heavy. “No, I want to be with you, but I’m scared.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I know. Let’s fall asleep outside for a bit. Then I’ll take us back down.”

  Livvie couldn’t argue. She was already half asleep. This was the safest she’d felt in a long time, maybe ever.

  Drake bent down and whispered in her ear. “I’m respecting your wishes, but eventually, I will have you. I always get what I want.” He held her tighter.

  Livvie was too sleepy to respond. Besides, maybe Drake was right, but she wouldn’t give in without a fight.

  Chapter Eight

  When Livvie heard her alarm go off, she groaned. Absolutely exhausted, she got out of bed and showered. The only thing that drove her in her sleepy state was the thought that she’d be spending time with Drake in his vineyard this morning.

  Last night had felt like a dream. She had fallen asleep in Drake’s arms. Sometime later, he’d picked her up, dropped her off in her bedroom, and then he went to his. But not before he kissed her on the forehead. She hoped today would be as magical. She was worried Drake would have reverted to his old, arrogant self again.

  She debated what to wear a thousand times. Finally, she dressed in her floral, off-the-shoulder, short-sleeved, silk blouse, which hugged her hips. Then she put on her skinny jeans and black sandals. She would have preferred to wear her comfy jeans from yesterday, but these jeans looked better on her. She wasn’t sure how Drake would respond to her this morning after last night.

  When she walked down the grand staircase, she ran into Mr. Birkshire cleaning the candelabras. Is there anything he didn’t do?

  “Hey, Mr. Birkshire.” Livvie smiled.

  He continued dusting but glanced toward her without smiling.

  “Good morning, Ms. Collins.”

  He resumed cleaning, and Livvie had to stop herself from running down the rest of the stairs and out into the vineyard. She couldn’t wait to see Drake. Did that make her pathetic?

  She took the exact path she had taken yesterday according to Drake’s instructions, but she didn’t see him anywhere. She looked at her watch. She’d found him here at this exact same time the day before.

  Hmm…where could he be? There were men working in the fields, but when she asked them where Drake was, they only smiled. Then she saw Andrew, and she ran toward him, hoping he would know, but when he saw her coming, he walked the other way, pretending he hadn’t noticed her.

  Feeling she had no other option, she walked back into the house. Surely, Mr. Birkshire would know. Luckily, she found him exactly where she’d left him, cleaning the candelabras.

  “Hey, Mr. Birkshire?”

  As he had done earlier, he continued dusting but glanced her way. “Yes, Ms. Collins?�
��

  “Have you seen Drake?”

  This time he didn’t even look at her. “Mr. Morganthal should still be resting. This isn’t his morning to work in his vineyard.”

  Resting? Livvie scrunched her forehead. “I thought he worked in his vineyard every morning?” She felt defeated. She could have slept late like Drake.

  “No. Every Monday afternoon and evening, he has wine tastings in the area. It’s important for him to know what’s selling and how the different wines taste. It usually runs late into the evening, so he sleeps in on Tuesdays.”

  “Oh.” Livvie looked down. She didn’t want to tell him she’d been with Drake after he’d gotten home last night. At the same time, she wondered why Drake hadn’t told her he slept in on Tuesdays? “I guess I’ll go back to sleep then, too.”

  Mr. Birkshire looked down at Livvie as she started climbing up the stairs.

  “Why do you look so unhappy?”

  Livvie stopped climbing. “I thought I was supposed to go out into the vineyards every morning,” she said.

  “You are. There are others who can show you the ropes, you know.”

  “But no one out there gave me the time of day.” Livvie sighed dramatically and resumed walking up the stairs.

  “Let me get someone to show you around.” Mr. Birkshire wiped his hands on a cloth from his pocket.

  In a strange way, Livvie thought he was testing her. She didn’t want just anyone to show her around. She wanted Drake.

  “That’s okay, Mr. Birkshire. I’ll go to my room and get some sleep. Sorry for disrupting you.”

  Mr. Birkshire nodded and resumed dusting. Livvie noticed he’d dust a spot and then stop, and then dust a spot and stop. She was so mesmerized watching him that she stopped climbing the stairs.

  “Leave your baggage at the door, Ms. Collins.”

  Mr. Birkshire continued dusting. He didn’t look at Livvie when he spoke, and yet she knew what he was trying to say.

  “I can only leave my baggage at the door if I know for sure that it’s safe to do so.” She had felt safe last night, but in broad daylight reality hit her. She couldn’t be with Drake.

  “Nothing in life that feeds the soul is safe, Ms. Collins. Nothing is a guarantee. And the biggest risks in life to take are always the most dangerous. But would you rather carry your heavy baggage around wherever you go, or leave it at the door, and start to live freely again?”

  Livvie swallowed and then continued on her way. Mr. Birkshire wasn’t looking at her anyway—on purpose, she supposed. She was surprised he’d spoken so directly, and she felt as if he was kind of scolding her, the way a concerned dad would. And he was right. But with all of Drake’s issues, was this the right situation to release her baggage? She honestly didn’t know.

  * * * * *

  Livvie did go back to sleep. She was so exhausted; she didn’t even take off her clothes. When she returned to her room, she’d been tempted to call Carly back, but Livvie wasn’t in the mood to confess her feelings for Drake. She had only known him for three days. Maybe all this was nothing more than a brief attraction? What woman wouldn’t be attracted to Drake Morganthal? But deep down inside, she knew that wasn’t true. This wasn’t just an attraction because she had experienced brief glimpses of who he really was. He was thoughtful, generous, and passionate. Google had never revealed any of that.

  She was awakened by a knock on her door. She wasn’t surprised, as she doubted they would allow the lucky raffle winner to hide in her room all day. She ran her hands through her hair, making sure she looked decent, and then opened her door.

  Her heart delved into her stomach when she saw it was Mr. Birkshire.

  “I came here to tell you that Mr. Morganthal requests your presence in the dining room for some scone tasting.”

  The second Livvie heard “scone,” her stomach growled loudly.

  “Sorry,” Livvie said. She wasn’t one of those people who pretended that their stomach hadn’t just made a mortifying sound. She would rather just acknowledge it and move on. “So why scones?” She questioned him in an effort to stop her heart from beating wildly at the idea Drake had requested her presence. There was something incredibly sexy about that. When this week was over, she would definitely be requesting Carly’s presence to help her get out of her severe depression.

  “He’s hiring a new baker, and he’d like your opinion.”

  Wow! Not only was Drake requesting her presence, but he would also like her opinion.

  “Will I be eating cake, too?” Livvie loved scones, but she would never turn down cake.

  Mr. Birkshire looked extremely frustrated. She had never seen that look on his face before. If she could get him to be frustrated, maybe, eventually, she could get him to crack a smile.

  “Perhaps. Good day, Ms. Collins.” Without a second glance he closed her door.

  Livvie shrugged and did the only thing she could think of to do. She opened her bedroom door and walked to the dining room. After all, Mr. Morganthal had requested her presence.

  Chapter Nine

  Livvie didn’t end up walking to the dining room, she more like ran there, but who could blame her? Scrumptious treats were awaiting her, and one of them came in the form of a tall and handsome, green-eyed man, who had been so sweet to her last night. Plus, if this baker were anything like the other baker Drake had, she would be leaving here at least ten pounds heavier than when she arrived. The thought depressed her, but not as much as denying herself scones and possibly cake. When she reached the dining room door, she slowed her steps, reluctant to appear too eager. Not only did she crave sugar, but also she craved the man sitting at the head of the table with his mouth full and his hands filled with delectable treats. How she would love to be the delectable treat in his hands. The thought alone turned her on.

  “Ah, I see you’ve come,” Drake said with his mouth full.

  She felt a huge butterfly in her stomach. Could Drake sense her secret yearning? There was no way he could know just from sitting at the other end of the room. But hearing him say “come” made her think of only that. Forcing her mind to shift gears and reminding herself why she was standing in his dining room was not an easy task.

  “I could never turn down scones.” Livvie smiled widely. She had been smiling a lot lately. But Drake wasn’t the only reason she was smiling. No matter how turned-on she felt scones also excited her. The thought of them alone made her mouth water. Great, now she was wet in two places! Livvie started to laugh at the thought.

  “What’s so funny?” Drake asked still with his mouth full.

  Needing to think of a way to get out of answering his awkward question, she slowly walked over and sat next to him in the exact spot where she had sat at dinner the other night. It felt strangely natural to be near him. She remembered when she had first sat here, she had been nervous beyond belief. Now, rather than feeling nervous, she felt over the moon to be spending time alone with him.

  “You won’t tell me what’s funny?” Drake had a twinkle in his eye and scone crumbs all over his chin.

  She would love to lick them off him. “I was just thinking about how much I love scones.” Livvie had no choice but to give him a half-truth. She wondered if the day would come when she didn’t feel the need to lie to this man. Maybe if she listened to Mr. Birkshire and left her baggage at the door, she could start to trust Drake.

  “That’s what made you laugh?” Drake looked at her with doubt in his eyes and instantly stopped chewing.

  No, thought Livvie. “Yes, my mom used to make fun of me when I was a little girl. She’d tell me that no matter what was going on in my life, I’d never say no when it came to eating something with sugar.”

  She missed how simple her life had been when she was a child. Back then she hadn’t had to deal with losing her job and being unemployed. Drake grabbed her hand from under the table and squeezed it, causing what felt like an electric current shooting through her body again.

  “It’s both happy and sad
, remembering our childhood.”

  Livvie swallowed hard. She wished she had thought of another reason why she had laughed.

  “Thank you,” Livvie whispered.

  “Thank you?”

  “Yes, for being so kind.” And she meant it. He had given her the journal yesterday, and Mr. Birkshire had told her how he helped the autistic boy. And he took her up to the roof at two o’clock in the morning. He was full of surprises. Who knew what other kind deeds he had done?

  This time Drake laughed. “No one has ever said I’m kind.” He smiled warmly at her. “I think I know how to be more than kind.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows up and down, making Livvie laugh.

  “By giving me a scone?” Livvie tried to sound as flirty as possible. When it came to the art of flirting, she was awful. Carly had told her to give up flirting altogether and just be herself.

  “Oh, I’ll do more than give you a scone.” His eyes changed from humor to intense lust. Drake reached over to a large plate of scones and took a moment, examining each one, as if wanting to make certain he chose the perfect specimen.

  “Ah,” Drake said as he finally picked one. He gently broke it apart with his fingers and once again turned toward her.

  Realizing he was about to feed her the scone himself, she held her breath, her stomach doing summersaults. She was beyond turned on already, and she wasn’t sure what she wanted to taste more—his delectable fingers or the delicious scone.

  “Open up, princess.”

  Livvie would have opened her mouth no matter what, but his use of the term of endearment made her feel as if she would have done absolutely anything he wanted. Women were never too old to be called princess. At least that’s how Livvie felt. And as she sat up straighter to take the scone into her mouth, her nipples hardened. Why her nipples would harden from a simple term of endearment, she would never understand, but they did. And now not only was she experiencing the feeling of his fingers touching her lips and the burst of mouthwatering sugar hitting her tongue, but her nipples wanted to get involved, too. She acknowledged them by giving them some attention. She moved forward slightly, so they brushed Drake’s arm as he fed her a chocolate chip scone. When her nipples made contact, she moaned. Luckily, Drake thought her moan was as a result of tasting the scone. Or at least she hoped that was the case. And he laughed. Not a full out laugh, but a soft, seductive laugh that caused even more havoc between her thighs.