Complicated Love

by Harper Phoenix

  Maiya

  When I wake up, Brad isn’t in bed. I peek at the clock and realise I’ve really slept in. On the small table, over by the door is a plastic tub and a glass of orange juice. With a small post-it note attached to the lid.

  ‘I didn’t want to wake you, but wanted to bring you breakfast in bed, Brad x’

  That’s so sweet of him. I lift the lid and inside is a croissant, a pain au chocolat, some strawberries and grapes. He’s paid attention to what I like. My stomach growls in appreciation, and I sit on the bed and eat. When I’m done, I get dressed and go in search of him. It’s the first time I’ve really ventured out alone. I find Brody and Howard sitting at the table in the kitchen—they stop talking when I walk in, and I’m in two minds if I should just turn around and walk back out. But I don’t.

  I lift my head and ask, ‘do either of you know where Brad is?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s on guard duty today. He’ll be back in a few more hours,’ Brody says with a smile.

  ‘Okay, thanks.’

  ‘The girls are down there in the sitting room if you want to head that way?’ Howard says. I don’t know if he’s being kind or just wants rid of me. I decide I’d rather have company than be cooped up in that room alone. I find them slouched on a huge sofa watching Bridget Jones Diaries.

  ‘Hey, come and sit,’ Zoe insists.

  I smile. She’s such a nice person—helps everyone and defended her friend when I was being more than horrible. I guess that’s loyalty. Family.

  ‘Sooooo, you and Brad, eh?’ Zoe says, grinning.

  ‘Have you had that chat yet?’ Devon asks. I smile. I can’t help it. I nod, and she says, ‘Thank God because we all knew already.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Ummm, you did have the chat, right? About mates and wolves?’

  ‘Yeah. He said we’re bonded, and all other males would know.’

  ‘Well, try all other wolves because we smell it too,’ Zoe says, laughing.

  ‘Did he go all ‘I man—you woman’ yet?’ Devon asks, and I laugh, shaking my head. ‘Jared did. Jeez, he was like, ‘you’re my female. I will take care of you, blah blah… all because he didn’t like me going to work.’

  We all laugh. The day flies by and before I know it we’ve watched two and a half films and ate through three large bags of sweets. I didn’t even feel sorry for it either. It is so nice having that time together. I stretch and yawn. How I’m tired, I have no idea because I literally haven’t done anything except shift my arse from one place to another. But I guess doing nothing is tiring. I’m just about to move when Brad appears in the doorway. He sees me and immediately looks guilty—for what, I’m not sure.

  ‘Hey, sweetheart. Didn’t realise you’d be in here?’

  ‘Clearly,’ I tell him folding my arms across my chest and raising my eyebrows in question.

  ‘Am I up?’ Devon asks.

  ‘Errr yep, that’s what I’m here to tell you.’

  ‘You’re going on guard duty?’ I ask, shocked as hell.

  ‘Guard duty? No, I’m going to finish the bitch who gave birth to me.’ Then looking at Brad, she asks, ‘Did she talk then?’ He tilts his head to the side and widens his eyes as if she’s just given his secret away. Clearly, he doesn’t want me to know that’s what he’s been doing all day. The fact that he’s covered in blood and stinks of it obviously hasn’t entered his head yet. Honestly. Devon walks around the sofa, so I follow.

  ‘Catch you in a bit,’ Zoe says waving but not turning from the television. I walk through the door right after Devon,

  ‘I’ll be back in a while. I can meet you here if you wanna stay with Zoe,’ Brad says.

  ‘Nope, I’m good. I’ll go with Devon.’ Devon looks over her shoulder and makes a goofy face at me. Even after everything that’s happened between us, I know damn well she’ll have my back with this.

  ‘Maiya,’ he says like he’s telling me off.

  ‘Don’t Maiya me! I want to go.’

  ‘No!’

  I raise my brows. ‘Really? You wanna stick with that answer or would you like to phone a friend? ‘cause I’ll tell you now, it’s incorrect.’

  ‘Maiya, we can talk about this later. Right now, I have pack business to deal with. I’ll be a while, and then we can talk, okay?’

  Do all men not have a stupid filter? I mean, when I’m going to say something, I process it and think, no, that’s stupid, I shouldn’t say that. Why can’t men seem to do that?

  ‘Huh, so pack business has nothing to do with me?’

  ‘What? That’s not what I said.’

  ‘No, it’s what you implied, and it’s bullshit, Brad. I have as much right to deal with her as all of you—just because I’m not in your pack…’

  ‘You are in my pack!’

  ‘Good, so pack business involves me.’

  ‘Fuck me.’

  ‘Not right now. I’ve got pack business, but maybe later, okay?’ I hear Devon snort a laugh up ahead, and I can’t help but smile. Today, I feel a lot more like myself. Brad looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes.

  ‘Fucking smart ass,’ he says grumpily I follow Devon down the stairs to the basement. I’d been down here already, and Brad hadn’t liked it then either. Maybe I’m sick in the head, but it felt good to inflict pain after what they’d done to me, and I’m not going to apologise for it. I walk down the narrow corridor to where she is being kept. The stench of burned flesh hits my nose, bringing back a flood of memories with it. The pain. The laughter. The jeering. All of it floods back. My step falters, and I swallow the lump trying to rise in my throat. I will not give myself over to this, not now, not again, not ever. Devon keeps on walking. But Brad notices my hesitation.

  ‘Sweetheart—’

  ‘Brad, don’t even try. I’m going in there, so please don’t try and convince me not to.’

  He holds his hands up in surrender. ‘Think I’ve gathered there’s no point trying to convince you to do anything you don’t want to, but… just wait a sec, okay?’

  ‘Okay, what’s up?’

  He takes a deep breath before he starts. ‘She’s a mess in there, and I…’ he fidgets closes his eyes and then looks me directly in the eye. ‘Just know that I did this… that I worked on her because—’

  ‘Because she deserves it?’ I interrupt.

  ‘Yeah, she does, but I’ve never worked a woman before. I just want you to know that before you go in, okay? It’s not something I really want you to see.’

  I grab his face in my hands. ‘Brad, remember the day you found me?’

  He nods with a look on his face like he may be sick. ‘Just remember that, every time you look at her and feel bad because she’s a woman.’

  ‘That’s not what I meant, Maiya. I meant that I don’t want you to think I’m a bastard that treats women like they treated you. Because the only reason I did this was because of what she did to you.’

  ‘Brad, evil doesn’t have a gender, and you don’t need to explain any of this to me. The situation is fucked up, yes. The fact this happened at all is fucked up, but the fact I’m falling for you—’

  His lips smash against mine, and he lifts me up into his arms. We fall against the wall, and he’s kissing me with such hunger that I moan into his mouth. My hands are everywhere, and I want him so badly.

  ‘Hey, fucker, pack that shit in and get your asses in here.’ Jared yells from the room down the corridor. Brad smiles against my lips.

  ‘Bastard,’ he chuckles. But he lets me slide down his body and his cock rubs against me as my feet touch the ground. He steps away, adjusting himself and then leads me into the room. What I see doesn’t shock me. I guess after the way Brad acted, I thought maybe I would have to prepare myself.

  Devon’s mother is tied to a chair in the middle of the room, right beneath her is a drain, and behind her is a table, well equipped with every kind of blade you could imagine. Some, have clearly been used, some haven’t. She’s not awake. I take a minute to just
walk around her and look at the injuries she has. I would have thought that any human being who’d sustained injuries like this would be dead already. But I’d survived, only just, but I lived long enough for Brad’s blood to heal me. I was a fighter. I didn’t know it at the time. Brad and I were so complicated then. I’d wasted so much time on hate and self-pity. All because of this woman sitting before me. I pull her face up so I can see it clearly. I poke at her broken nose—everyone in the room seems to be giving me this time. No one speaks while I do it. I pull her hair back and notice that she has almost identical burns to me. I look over at Brad. He looks worried, but I smile. His smile changes his whole face as it lights up his eyes. I think he’d been seeking my approval. He didn’t need it. I knew what had gone on here. She was lucky though. I know these guys wouldn’t rape a woman, no matter what. So she’d been spared that much.

  I step back into Brad, and his arms come around me. As he whispers into my ear, ‘You okay?’ I nod. His chin rests on top of my head. ‘You sure?’

  ‘More than sure,’ I tell him, squeezing his hand.

  Jared, walks up and must have smelling salts because he does something and she jolts awake, her eyes wild running from one side of the room to the other, stopping on Devon, and then me. She sneers, ‘You lived?’

  ‘So did you, apparently’ I say.

  ‘That’ll be rectified in a few short minutes,’ Devon says.

  ‘Aww so soon?’ She laughs at Devon.

  ‘Maybe we can string it out a little bit, you know, so you two can have some mother-daughter time?’ Jared says.

  ‘Sure,’ Devon agrees, stepping forward. Jared and Brad exchange a look, and I’m not sure if they’re planning on staying or going. I think I’d prefer him not to watch. As if they’ve read my mind, they start to leave. Brad comes over and kisses me.

  ‘For fuck’s sake,’ Jared starts,

  ‘Fuck you! You’ve cockblocked me once already.’

  ‘What’s it like, dickhead? Told you I’d get my own back!’ Jared says shoving Brad out of the door and leaving Devon and me smiling at each other. Devon walks over to the table with all the blades and various other tools used for torturing. I feel a thrum of excitement flow through me. Maybe I am sick? People don’t get excited about this stuff normally, do they? Devon turns and hands me a knife. The next couple of hours are a blur. I know I do things that normal people wouldn’t even think about. But do I regret it? No. Not one bit. The final moments, I know Devon wants for herself. I’ve mutilated the kitsune and how she hasn’t died from blood loss alone is crazy, but she’s still breathing. Just.

  ‘Did Brad tell you how he watched her die?’

  I nod because he had told me. He’d told me in detail so I’d know she was gone.

  ‘Well, not only did she turn on her daughter—she also had a twin who acted as a decoy for her. Killed herself on command. For her.’ Devon, says sticking the knife in her thigh and twisting.

  ‘You are more like me than you realise,’ her mother chokes out. Devon doesn’t hold her cool, she punches her, and her head snaps back. She could be dead. I check and feel a faint pulse. I shake my head. Devon pulls her head forward by her hair.

  ‘I am nothing like you. I will never be!’ With that, she drags the blade across her throat. Choking and gurgling fill the room. We stand until the drain at her feet has a river of flowing red, and her eyes stare blankly. Dead.

  ‘You okay?’ Devon asks

  ‘Yeah, I’m good.’ I tell her like I haven’t just been an accomplice to murder. Gone was the frightened pitiful girl who wanted to die. I’m done with feeling that way, and being a part of this makes me feel empowered. I guess I needed it to move on. Closure. And now I’m making new memories with Brad—slowly weeding out the shit that had been ingrained inside from my experiences with them. Right now, I feel great. We leave that room together, hand-in-hand, and I have no doubt that our bond will forever be strong.

  I’VE BEEN PACING the kitchen like a dog needing to piss. I hate that she’s down there. I hate that’s she sees this shit—let alone does it. Fuck me, I wanted to drag her out like a caveman. But when she said she was falling for me, that was it. I’d have done anything for her. Jared said they needed it to heal and that Devon was better for doing this, but she’s a wolf. Maiya doesn’t have this shit inbuilt like we do. And I fucking worry about her. She doesn’t even get to sleep peacefully. Maybe now she knows they’re all dead, she’ll be able to relax and have a good night’s sleep. Jared’s phone rings.

  ‘Yeah… ‘bout fucking time. Yeah, see you soon.’ He hangs up, smiling. It was Howard on the phone, and he is bringing Harrison back. He’s been given the all clear, and they are on their way back here.

  ‘He been cleared to travel too?’ I ask still pacing.

  ‘I doubt it,’ he says sitting at the table. The door opens, and the girls walk in, and I exhale in relief when Maiya walks straight into my arms. Smiling. Thank fuck for that.

  ‘You good?’ I ask,

  ‘Yeah, I’m hungry though.’

  ‘I think you ought to go and clean up before you touch anything to eat.’ I look at her clothes.

  ‘I seriously need to go and buy some new clothes,’ Maiya says looking at Devon.

  ‘Yeah. me too—’

  ‘You aint doing shit until we get this situation sorted with the American pack,’ Jared says interrupting her.

  ‘I was just going to say we should go when we get home, jeez,’ Devon answers back.

  ‘That’s okay, then’ Jared grumbles. I take Maiya’s hand and lead her up the stairs as their bickering continues.

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ I ask as we round the corner at the top of the stairs.

  ‘I’m okay, Brad, stop worrying, I’m good.’ With that, she stretches on her tiptoes and kisses my lips. Well… I was worried, now… now I’m horny as fuck, and I don’t care where we are or who sees—her taste on my lips is the only thing on my brain at that moment. I push her up against the wall, hands locked in one of mine above her head. She’s pinned and at my mercy. I devour her mouth, and she is kissing me back with just as much enthusiasm.

  Until I get a knee in the nuts. Fuck.

  ‘What the fuck, Maiya?’ I bend at the waist, not sure if I’m going to vomit as she runs off down the hall. Shit. I take a breath and think about what just happened. I’m such a fucking idiot. Control. That’s key. I walk to the bedroom like fucking John Wayne. As I open the door, she turns, and her eyes are full of tears.

  ‘Brad, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry,’ she sobs out.

  ‘Sweetheart, I’m fucking sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’ I could kick myself. ‘It was a dick move. I know you need control, and I took that from you.’ Her eyes close and she swallows hard. I walk towards her, and I want to take her in my arms, but I’m not sure that’s what she needs right now, so I stop short and stand like a stranger would, not knowing what the fuck to do for the best. My stomach is still twisted up, and my balls are in my throat. I need to check on the boys to make sure they are still intact, but I suck it up and wait for a cue from Maiya.

  ‘I don’t need complete control, Brad, not with you, but I just wasn’t prepared. I don’t know what happened.’

  ‘I got ahead of myself, that’s what happened.’ I sigh, feels like we came so fucking far and now it’s all gone to shit in one thoughtless fucking moment.

  I move to the bathroom, leaving her standing there. I strip and get in the shower, cold water hits me, my balls shrivel up, and the sting is just what I deserve. I’m so fucking annoyed. I stand under it for a minute before I turn on the heat so I can get washed up. I feel the door open and feel her step in behind me. Relief floods me, and I press my forehead to the tiles as her arms come around my waist. I don’t turn though. I wait for her to tell me what she needs.

  ‘Brad,’ she says all breathy, and my dick goes instantly hard. Motherfucker. ‘Brad, please look at me.’ I twist my neck around, so I don’t have to turn and show my wood.
‘Are you pissed at me?’ she asks.

  ‘Fuck no. I’m pissed at myself. I pushed you to a bad place, and I never want to do that. Trouble is, I don’t know if I can stop myself. What if it happens again? What if I go too far and you can’t take it?’ At some point, I must have turned because she’s holding my face in her hands, looking me directly in the eyes. My fucking hard on is bobbing against her stomach. Motherfucker.

  ‘Brad, I got scared, and I reacted instinctively. I don’t ever want to be like that with you. I want us to be able to explore each other in every way—on every level. With no boundaries. But I need time, Brad. I’m obviously not there yet.’

  ‘Fuck I know that, beautiful.’ I move a little closer. ‘Can I kiss you?’

  ‘Brad!’ she looks like I just pissed in her breakfast.

  ‘What?’ I’m confused as fuck.

  ‘Don’t ask me that—just do it.’

  I crash my lips to hers. She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I feel her hands roaming, and she finds my dick. I continue fucking her mouth with my tongue until she pulls away. I open my eyes and see her kneeling in front of me. Fuck.

  ‘No, it’s okay,’ I tell her because she shouldn’t not yet. Leading me forward by my dick, she pulls me out of the spray of water.

  ‘I want to, Brad. This is for me.’

  Huh, okay, if it’s for her, how can I argue? She laps at the tip and then sucks me into her mouth, releasing me before she even gets me fully inside. Thinking she’s changed her mind, I step back, but she grips my dick like a vice in her hand so I can’t move an inch.

  ‘What’s up?’ I ask. She looks like she wants to say something but fuck if I know what.

  ‘I’ve never done this before, apart from… I’ve never wanted to do it, and I want to do it properly.’

  My eyes close—the pain I feel at her missing words is unbearable, but she wants this, so I will give it to her. I will relinquish all control. Who the fuck knows, maybe I will learn a thing or two.

  ‘Okay, sweets, you tell me what you want from me, and it’s yours.’

  ‘Guide me—tell me what you like? How you want it?’