Beyond the Bases

by Kaylee Ryan

  “Right. I’ll be five on July fifteenth, and then I get to go to big girl school.”

  “Big girl school? Really? That sounds pretty cool.”

  She nods. “Yep. I’m growing up,” she says.

  “Don’t grow up too fast. Mommy wants you to be little as long as you can,” Larissa tells her.

  “Nope. Imma eat all my pizza and grow big and strong.”

  “Here you go. What do you say to Easton?” Larissa asks, setting her own cheese pizza in front of her.

  “Thank you, East,” she says, then looks down at the small pizza box in front of her. “This is mine?” she asks.

  “Sure is.” I ruffle her hair. “Water or milk to drink?”

  “Milk,” she says, picking up her first slice and taking a huge bite. She has sauce all over her face.

  I watch as Larissa smiles down at her, reaching over with a napkin, wiping her face, then handing Paisley a new one. “Use this, please.”

  Paisley’s head bobs up and down as she takes another bite, just as big as the first, covering her face once again in sauce. This time Larissa just grins and takes a bite of her own. It hits me that this feels right. Having them here, in my home, bringing it to life. I can only hope this is the beginning of many more nights I get to spend with them.

  “That was a big pizza but it was little,” Paisley says, leaning back in her chair. Her face is smeared with sauce where she attempted to wipe it with a napkin. She also has a small ring of milk framing her top lip, and her hands are on her belly.

  “Come here, you.” Larissa already has a wet paper towel in her hand, ready to clean her up. “Is your belly full?”

  “So, so full,” she replies dramatically.

  “You girls want to watch a movie?”

  “Oh, do you have Pocahontas? She’s my favorite. Well, I like Cinderella and Belle, and—” Larissa places her hand over her mouth to stop her.

  “P, I’m not sure Easton has princess movies.”

  “East, do you have princess movies?”

  “No, sweetheart, but I’m going to have to fix that, huh?”

  “Yeah, or I can bring mine next time I come over. I have lots of them.”

  “Well, how about we pull up Netflix and see what we can find?”

  “Deal.” She turns in her chair and holds her arms out for me.

  “Paisley, you’re a big girl, you can walk,” Larissa chastises.

  “But my East is so, so strong, and he can carry me.”

  I bite back my grin as I reach for her and place her on my hip. “Let’s go, Momma. Time to find a movie.”

  “Let me clean up first,” she says.

  “Nope. It’s an easy cleanup. I’ll do it later. Now we relax.”

  “Yeah, Mommy, now we relax,” Paisley repeats as I sit her on the couch. She moves over to the middle and pats the spot next to her. “I get to sit by Mommy and East.” She smiles her adorable little smile that reaches in and grabs hold of my heart.

  “Look, Paisley, Pocahontas,” I say as I flip through the channels. She claps her hands and shocks me when she climbs up in my lap. She’s sitting sideways with her head resting on my shoulder. Larissa opens her mouth, I assume to tell her to sit back on the couch, but I hold my hand up to stop her. “She’s good. Now, you should move over here with us.”

  “Yeah, Mommy,” Paisley chimes in.

  Larissa moves over to sit next to me. Her shoulder bumping mine. Reaching out, I place my arm around her shoulder and bring her in close. I then relax into the couch and settle in for some Disney with both my girls in my arms.

  Right where they should be.

  We’re barely a few minutes into the movie and Paisley is sound asleep. “I should take her home,” Larissa whispers.

  “Stay.”

  “It’s close to her bedtime anyway.”

  Just a little longer. “I feel like I’ve barely seen you today and I’m going to be gone the next two days.”

  “I like to keep her to a routine. She does well with structure and needs a good night’s sleep.”

  Turning my head, my lips meet her temple. “I’ll walk you out.” She slides out from underneath my arm and stands. I do the same, careful not to wake the sleeping princess in my arms. I manage to get her strapped into her car seat without waking her up.

  “Once she’s out, she’s down for the night,” Larissa says from behind me.

  “She’s a good kid.” I don’t know why I say it; it’s not like we’re talking about her behavior, but for some reason, it feels like it’s important she hears that. “You’ve done a great job raising her.”

  Tears well in her eyes. “She’s my entire world, Easton. She’s already so attached to you….” Her voice trails off.

  “Just her?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close.

  “Not just her,” she confesses.

  I want to scream at the top of my lungs that they’re mine. I want the world to know, but I settle for an internal fist bump, playing it cool. “Good.” I kiss her forehead. “I’m attached too, Ris. This house, it’s quiet. It’s simply a place for me to sleep. With the two of you here, it’s like you bring life to the place. It’s something I didn’t know I was missing.”

  “The novelty will wear off.”

  “Hey.” With my index finger, I lift her chin. “This isn’t because the two of you are new and shiny. It’s here.” I lay my hand over my chest. “I’ve enjoyed every minute that I’ve shared with the two of you, separate and together,” I add, just for clarification. “We can ease her into the idea of us being more at your pace. I won’t force your hand, but Larissa, we are more. More than I ever imagined I would want, and more than I could ever hope for. You might as well go ahead and get on board with that.”

  “And if I don’t?” she asks. There’s a sparkle in her eyes.

  Bending, I press my lips to hers. “You will,” I murmur as my mouth fuses with hers. Instead of words, I let my mouth convince her.

  “Got it,” she whispers as I pull away from the kiss.

  I can’t help but chuckle. “Good to know. Be careful driving home, babe. Call or text me when you get there so I know you’re safe.”

  “I’m a big girl, Easton. I’ve been doing things on my own for a long time now.”

  “I know that. But you don’t have to, not anymore. Drive safe,” I say, stepping back and opening her door for her. For a minute, she just stands there staring up at me. No words are spoken and her facial expression is blank. It’s like she’s checked out. As she processes what I just said, I start to panic that I went too far, when a slow grin tips her lips.

  “Do you always get your way?” she asks.

  I shrug. “I always fight for what I want.”

  “And that’s me?” I can hear the disbelief in her voice.

  “That’s you and your daughter.” Seeing I’ve rendered her speechless, I shut her door and smile. She just shakes her head, the same smile playing on her lips as she hits the remote on her visor for the garage door and backs out. I watch her until I can no longer see her before closing the door and heading inside to get my phone. Stripping down to my boxer briefs, I climb into bed and wait to hear that they made it home okay.

  I wake to the sound of my daughter’s voice. I open my eyes and try to focus on where it’s coming from and what she’s saying.

  “She’s sweeping,” I hear her say. “You gots a game today?” There’s a pause. “You’re going to be on TV?” she says, her four-year-old voice full of awe. “You’ll have to tell my mommy that. I can’t tell time yet.”

  I stifle my laugh. “Paisley,” I say, causing her to jump.

  She whips her head around to look at me from her spot on the floor just beside my bed. “She’s awake, East. Tell her about the TV so I can watch you.” She then pulls the phone from her ear, and hands it to me, just to take it back. She lifts it back to her ear. “Bye, East!” She yells too loudly as if she needs to in order for him to hear her, then hands the p
hone to me. This time, I’m able to grab it from her hands.

  “Hello.”

  “Morning, beautiful.”

  “Morning,” I say over a yawn. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a flight?

  “We’re getting ready to board now. I just wanted to call and say good morning to my girls.”

  Thousands of butterflies flap their wings, ready to take flight in my belly. “You practice today?”

  “Nah, not really. We’ll stretch, watch some film, but that’s about it. Our game is tomorrow night. Coach has us going a day early so we’re not jet lagged from traveling.”

  “More time away,” I say aloud without thinking.

  “Yeah,” he agrees. “I can say it never bothered me until now.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  “I’ve never really had anyone to miss before. Sure, there’s my family, and I miss them, but I don’t see them every day. But with you and Paisley, it’s… different.”

  Those damn butterflies are wreaking havoc. I don’t know what to say to that. Well, I do, but blurting out those three little words over the phone isn’t the way I want to do it. “Stay safe and have a good game.” I know it’s a shitty thing to do, to ignore his declaration, but that’s the only other thing I can come up with right now.

  He chuckles. “Ris, I’m going to talk to you again before the game.”

  My face heats, and I’m relieved he’s not here to witness it. “I just know you’re busy and I don’t want to distract you.”

  “Baby, you’re not a distraction. Well, you are, but in a good way,” he says with a laugh.

  “Well, have a safe flight,” I amend.

  He chuckles. “I’ll call you girls when I land.”

  “Mommy, I wanna say somefing,” Paisley says.

  “Hold on a sec, East. P wants to talk to you.”

  “East, have a safe flight, bye,” she says before handing the phone back to me.

  “She’s something else,” he says with laughter in his voice.

  “That she is.”

  “Bye, Ris, I’ll talk to you soon,” and with that, the line goes dead.

  “Mommy, East is gonna be on TV. Did he tell you? Did he?” Paisley asks excitedly.

  “He did. But Mommy has to work and it might be past your bedtime. Why don’t we record it and we can watch it the next day?”

  “Will I get to see him?”

  “You will. We can watch it together the next day. I’m off work all day.”

  “Yay!”

  I’m lucky my daughter is so easygoing. It’s easy to steer her through the process from watching the game to helping me make breakfast. Paisley helps me make waffles for breakfast. She likes to hit the button on the toaster—this momma has no time for the homemade version. Maybe one day when I work a normal shift, but right now, the task sounds exhausting. Just as I’m placing the last dish in the dishwasher from breakfast, my cell phone rings. I groan when I see it’s work, but answer anyway.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey,” Chloe greets me, “we’re slammed, and Tina called in. Anyway, can you start your shift early? I told boss man I would call. Thought you might be more apt to say yes if I was the one who was asking.” Chloe chuckles. “Not to mention, I thought maybe you could use the hours.”

  “We just finished breakfast. I need to call Mom and make sure it’s okay to drop P off early and get ready. I’ll text you.”

  “Thanks, gotta run,” Chloe says, and ends the call.

  “Paisley, run upstairs and wash your face and start brushing your teeth.” Even as I say the words, I know I’ll regret it from the mess that is sure to be in the bathroom. “Mommy has to go to work early.”

  “Okay,” she says, knowing that arguing will do no good. We can use the extra money for sure. Her birthday is coming up, and regardless, we can always use the extra cash. That’s the life of a single mom. I hate that my time with her is cut short. I console myself knowing she’ll be with my mom, who dotes on her. They always have fun together.

  Tapping on Mom’s contact, I place my phone on speaker and begin to pick up the house a little. That was on today’s agenda.

  “Good morning,” Mom says cheerily.

  “Hey, Mom. I hate to ask, but can you take P early? I got called into work.”

  “Of course I can. I’m home, so come on over.”

  My mother is a saint. I would have been lost these past few years without her. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You’re doing all you can to take care of the two of you. I’m so proud of you, honey. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Hitting End, I dash to my room, passing P’s door. She’s dressing herself and I have to stifle a laugh. She has on blue jean shorts, a tutu in a rainbow of colors over the top, and a tank top. It’s easier to let her go. I’ll pack her a bag of other options in case Mom wants to go somewhere. I’m sure she has clothes there too. I race to my room and grab my uniform, then head back across the hall to shower. “Paisley, I’m getting in the shower. Stay in your room. Do not answer the door.”

  “Okay, Mommy,” she replies. I leave the bathroom door open and strip down, stepping under the spray before it’s even warm.

  I’ve mastered the art of quick showers being a single mom. When P was a baby, I never wanted to leave her unattended for long. Even though she was strapped in her seat or later in her playpen in the bathroom. I opt to braid my wet hair as it saves so much time and keeps it out of my face when serving. I stop by Paisley’s room on the way back to my bedroom to get my shoes and she’s sitting on her bed, talking on the phone.

  “Yeah, so I gots to go to Grams.” I hear her say.

  “Paisley Gray, who are you talking to? You know not to answer my phone,” I scold her.

  “I know, Mommy, but it’s East. His picture popped up, and it’s been so, so long since I talked to him.” She holds the phone away from her ear and shows me the screen. All I can see is his name.

  Walking into her room, I stop just beside her bed and hold out my hand. “Tell Easton goodbye and go pack whatever toys you want to take with you. We leave in ten minutes.” I wait for her to tell Easton goodbye before she hands me the phone. “Go,” I say in my stern mom voice. That snaps her into action, and she’s rushing down the hall to get her bag.

  “Hey,” I say into the phone.

  “You sound stressed, babe.”

  “Work called me in early, so I’m rushing to get there. I take it you just landed?”

  “Yeah. We’re getting ready to board the bus to take us to the hotel.”

  “I’m glad you had a safe flight. I hate to cut this short, but I really need to go so I can finish getting P ready and get her to Mom’s.”

  “Call me tonight if you get time, or when you get home.”

  “Easton, it’s going to be late. You have a game tomorrow.”

  “And I won’t sleep unless I know you made it home okay.”

  “I’m a big girl, Easton.”

  “I know you are. You’re also beautiful, and the best mommy to that little girl. But it’s time to let someone worry about you. So call me. Please,” he adds.

  “Okay,” I agree, because how do I argue with that? I’ve been doing it all on my own, with only my mom’s help.

  “Drive safe, babe. Give Princess P a hug from me.”

  I can’t help but smile at his request. “I can do that.”

  “Bye, Ris.”

  “Bye, East.” I end the call, holding my cell to my chest. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I’m in so deep with him. His words, he’s so confident about what he wants, and by pure luck, it’s me and my daughter. I still worry, but we’re getting closer every day. I don’t worry so much for our broken hearts, mine and Paisley’s, because I can’t help but think that maybe just maybe, if this were to end, his might be broken too.

  This is the first road trip where I can’t wait to get home. I’ve gotten used to being gone more than I am home; it’s the lifestyle of
a professional baseball player. However, this time, this time there’s something, or two someone’s waiting at home for me, and I can’t get there fast enough. Hence the reason why our flight landed forty minutes ago and instead of heading home, I’m headed to them, to my girls. I texted Larissa to let her know my flight landed. She’s home today and said she and P are getting ready to settle in and watch last night’s game.

  I pull up outside her house, her SUV is in the driveway, and although I’ve never spent a single night here, it feels like home. I didn’t tell Larissa I was coming. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to tell me not to. Grabbing their surprise, I climb out of my truck and stride toward the front door. I knock twice and wait. I hear Paisley yell out that there’s someone at the door, then Larissa telling her to wait for her.

  When the door opens, Paisley cheers and wraps her arms around my legs, and Larissa, her eyes are soft as she smiles at me. Leaning in, I kiss the corner of her mouth. I know I should worry about Paisley seeing, but I can’t stop myself. It’s not like this is the first time she’s seen me kiss her. Larissa is gorgeous in a pair of what looks like sweatpants that have been cut into shorts, and a T-shirt that hangs off her shoulder. Her hair is pulled up in some kind of twisted knot on the top of her head.

  “You’re beautiful,” I tell her when her hand goes to smooth her hair that’s knotted back. “These are for you.” I hand her a bouquet of multi-colored daisies. “And these,” I crouch down so I’m eye level with Paisley, “are for my princess.” I hand her the smaller bouquet that the lady at the flower shop was nice enough to cut down for me.

  “These are for me?” she asks, wide-eyed. “I never gots flowers before.”

  “These are all yours. Every princess deserves her own flowers.”

  Her mouth falls open, her eyes wide as she looks at me. “Are you a prince, East? Do princes play baseball?” she asks.

  I throw my head back and laugh. “No, I’m not a prince, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not my princess. Now,” I stand then reach down and pick her up, “I heard you ladies were watching some baseball. Mind if I join you?”

  Paisley giggles. It’s a sweet sound, one I’ll never get enough of. “You’re going to watch yourself, silly.”