Nerd and the Marine

by Grady, D. R.

  “I have gotten the vibe that he wouldn’t mind making their partnership personal, but I don’t get that same vibe from her.”

  “No, I don’t either.” Ben nodded. “So I suppose some can fit in, even if they’re not an in-law. But I still think Mitch will need time.”

  “Yes. But lots of the rellys e-mail him, so I don't think that'll be a problem, so long as we don't have a huge reunion.”

  “I think the key is to ease him in. He's met Melly but doesn't remember her. He knows me now.”

  “I think you were the best for him to meet.”

  “You got feelings for him?”

  She'd been waiting for that question. “You know, the girls have already jumped me on this,” she warned, trying to avoid the issue. She didn't know how much men talked, but figured Ben had the best idea of any of how Mitch felt about her and if he wasn't interested, she didn't need to know that right now.

  “All of them?”

  “Yep,” Lainy answered. “We had a chocolate fest.”

  “Sounds... interesting. What'd they say?”

  “I should enjoy this courtship and not stress over things moving so slow.”

  Ben grunted, and Lainy figured that was a man's way of processing information. Like the sounds a computer made computing data. “What's that mean?”

  “What's what mean?”

  “The grunt?” Lainy cocked her head to the side, and spread her palms.

  “Nothing,” he responded oh-so-helpfully.

  Lainy waited.

  “I think Mitch has feelings for you, but you haven't met in person. I agree with the girls to enjoy your time getting to know each other. Figure out the rest when he comes home.”

  “When's that going to be?”

  “I don't know Lainy. I'm sure he doesn't either. I doubt his bosses know. If we had magic answers, we'd give them. But we don't.”

  “I hate this.” Lainy wanted to pound something. The situation kept her from knowing Mitch for sure. Knowing about them. And not knowing was driving her crazy - her stomach burned. This love ulcer wasn’t helping either.

  “But you don't hate Mitch,” Ben pointed out.

  Not wanting to extend this conversation any longer, Lainy changed the subject with a tidbit that would distract him. “I saw Treeny a few days ago.” She glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

  “How was she?” She didn't miss the intense element in his voice.

  “She's fine.” Lainy deliberately didn’t offer more details.

  “Good, I'm glad.” He took another swig of his cola. “Did she look stressed or beat or anything?” Lainy picked up some strain. She smiled to herself. If she had correctly interpreted Treeny’s despair during their chocolate fest, Lainy suspected the man sitting in front of her was the cause, and the cure.

  “Got feelings for her, Ben?”

  Ben crushed the can in his fist and slowly looked up at her. She'd never seen his eyes so intense. “Yes, Lainy, I've had feelings for her since I took her into Will's closet all those years ago.”

  Lainy rocked back and stared at him. “I had no idea you still felt that way. Ben, why didn't you tell me?” She was incredulous at his expressing these very private feelings and happy to not worry about her own romance at the moment. She preferred helping with his - it made a nice change.

  “Treeny was too young. I've known all along how much she's wanted to be a doctor. And I've wanted to be a SEAL for as long as I can remember. You know that.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “I also figured there'd be no way to combine both careers.”

  “Ah.” Lainy raised an eyebrow. “But...?”

  “But there are other guys who manage just fine. I've been watching them, some of the older guys have been married for ten years, have kids, lead normal lives.” Ben yanked a hand over his hair.

  “As normal a life as a SEAL can have.”

  Ben looked her in the eyes. “You know, Treeny's finished with her residency. She’s probably thinking about settling down.”

  “Probably. What are you planning to do about it?”

  “I'm also going to be away a lot this next year or more. Well, for however long this state of affairs lasts.” He shoved back in his seat and glanced out the window.

  Lainy cleared her throat but before she could comment, he went on. “I hate the idea of Treeny with someone else. I always have.” He cracked his knuckles and Lainy watched with interest. Ben and Max were the most self-contained men she knew. To see Ben lose his control over a woman was incredible to behold. Idly she wondered what it would take to see Max lose it over a woman.

  “So, what are you thinking?”

  “I'd like to see her. Just to determine if what I'm feeling is all about memories or something more. That way, I can move on in either case.”

  “How do you intend to go about this?”

  “I'm not sure. I probably won't have time this visit. I'm due back on base in twenty-four hours. I just wanted to run the idea by you, see if this whole thing sounded crazy when I said it out loud. But it doesn't.”

  “No, I think you'd be wise to pursue it. Set yourself free or commit, which ever the case may be.”

  “Do you know what she's doing now?”

  “I think she’s working in a doctor’s office.”

  “I thought Rachel said she was starting new training.” A frown creased his forehead.

  “She did, last year. But as far as I know, she’s working fulltime now.”

  “Will she stay around here, do you think?” Ben’s voice went thick.

  “Ben, the really nice thing about being a doctor is you can go just about anywhere and find a job. I doubt she’s going to worry too much about other employment right now. I suspect she’ll remain around here, unless she’s offered something better.”

  “Do you think she’d move to wherever I’m stationed?”

  “I don’t know. If you show her you’re serious about the two of you being together, I’m sure she’ll be happy to go wherever you are.”

  “She might have to keep building up her practice if she continues moving with me.”

  “Ben, she can doctor anywhere you’re stationed. I think you need to contact her before you start worrying about all this,” Lainy concluded, exasperation uppermost in her mind. “You could also settle here and commute. But talk to her before you make plans.”

  “Right. That’s probably a good place to start.” He rubbed his chin.

  “Good. I’m glad you finally agree with me for once.”

  “Now, since we’ve got my love life settled, let’s talk about yours.” Ben grinned at her with all the mischief of their childhood. Lainy’s head banged against the table. She let him hear her groan.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Ben stayed the night but left in the morning. He didn’t tell Lainy where he was going, and she didn’t ask. He probably couldn’t tell her anyway, so no sense in making him fudge an answer. They hadn’t progressed very far with her love life, since she didn’t know where it would lead. All that could change, too, with this e-mail she kept putting off. Or once she and Mitch met in person.

  “I don’t know what the man looks like in person. Ben, I haven’t even spoken with him on the phone. I couldn’t tell you what his voice sounds like. You know more about him than me. At least you'd know him if he came walking down the street.” Lainy exclamation was infused with disgust. Which wasn’t far from how she felt.

  “Calm down. We won’t discuss your love life. How ‘bout we eat instead?” Ben answer had been hasty as well as timely, so she agreed. She’d discussed her love life, or whatever it was enough already and had no intention of wracking her brain any more. She’d just as soon get on with her work and try not to think of Mitch and Ben risking their lives.

  The least she could do was continue to ease Mitch’s time in Kuwait and keep him company as well as she could. At least with e-mails they had a limited connection. What they’d have when he returned would have to wait unti
l then.

  Providing he did return. Even if not intact, she still prayed for his safe arrival home. Yet that wasn’t guaranteed. She read the paper once in a while and saw the number of men and women serving overseas who wouldn’t return alive to their families. Lainy had to recognize Mitch could be among those brave military heroes and she finally understood the adage of “it’s far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”. Was this love?

  She still wanted a hug and she wouldn’t say no to a round in Will’s lake cabin closet, either. Forget the heartbreak, forget her previous experiences. How she’d love to take Mitch to the lake. Have a food fight with him and douse him in root beer for a fast trip into the water. She’d love to see him return with the other men, fishy and smelly but happy with the bounty he’d helped bring home for dinner.

  She wanted to see him in all the environments she’d always loved. To enjoy the sunsets together and hear the sound of the herd laughing and the dogs barking. She longed to watch him as the wind whipped through his hair on one of her brothers’ boats. To laugh with her at Bentley’s exuberance and insistence on riding in the very front.

  She had so many things she wanted to show him and so much she needed to learn about and with him. Unfortunately, they’d be out of contact for the next thirty days, at best. At worst, she wouldn’t hear from him until the end of September, early October. Which seemed too long a time.

  And this was only the beginning of long bouts away from civilization. Lainy needed to fill her time. She refused to go crazy with the waiting. Especially when she had no idea what she waited for. “Enjoy getting to know him,” she chided herself.

  She did ping e-mails to him every once in a while, of funny stories she didn’t want to forget, but still fretted about that all important one.

  She extracted the mail from the box on her porch and flipping through, found a packet from Mitch. Excited, she ripped the envelope open. She noticed his masculine, easy script and felt a part of him. She liked his handwriting. And his request made her feel wifely.

  Dear Lainy,

  Sorry to send you this type of mail with this type of problem, but I didn’t know who else to ask and I got this the day we pulled out for the next assignment. I really need this mess taken care of. If you tell them I’m in Kuwait with the Marines, I doubt you’ll have much problem. (I did call them.)

  I apologize for this in advance. I hate sending my bank account information through the mail, but you need access to my money, so here’s the info.

  Looking closer, Lainy saw another letter addressed to the bank giving her authorization and explaining to his credit union the problem and how he'd requested she take care of his money matters while away. He’d written this on very official looking paper and signed the page with a witness. An admiral witness, it looked like. Beneath both names looked like their military identification numbers.

  Thank you for doing this for me. I appreciate your willingness to help. I should have authorized you earlier. They’ll be expecting you. You’ll need to take at least two forms of I.D. and this letter.

  Yours,

  Mitch

  Lainy noticed he had included a bill that appeared to have been missed. He also included the name of his storage unit and let her know which locker was his with a key so she could access his things if need be. Staring in awe at the key, she couldn’t believe he’d so freely offer her these privileges. It was one thing to come from a huge family, you just understood there was nothing sacred. Everything you owned was available for sharing with anyone in the family.

  But to be independent and make anything he owned available to her, made her feel like Mitch’s wife. And a lot less apprehensive about adding him to the family. If he already felt so free with her, chances were good he’d feel the same way soon enough with her family. He was a Marine. He’d have to be adaptable.

  He was entrusting her with his worldly possessions. Shouldn’t she trust him?

  Staring at the letter in her hand, Lainy brought it up and pressed the precious handwritten note to her breast. Right next to her heart. She now knew what his handwriting looked like. She loved knowing he trusted her. He’d asked her to take care of business for him. Her brothers wouldn’t let their wives anywhere near some of their business interests, and yet Mitch had asked her to take care of his.

  Enjoying the feeling, she floated to her phone and made arrangements to take care of his problem. He trusted her, at least with his business stuff. What an overwhelming and precious gift.

  *****

  To: m_monahan@yahoo.com

  From: l_morrison@gmail.com

  Re:Re:Subject: My self-esteem

  >> I don't date because the two times I did so I got really burned.>>

  >Why?

  Hello Mitch,

  I won’t lie to you and tell you this is an easy question to answer. Because it’s not. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written, actually. Maybe it’s a better conversation to hold in person. I don’t know.

  What I do know is I fail at relationships. Seems that unlike my family, I’m really bad at them. Point – my first ever boyfriend happened because of a bet. His buddies bet him he couldn’t date me for three weeks. He took the wager. He was smart and handsome, and what any girl would want. I was sure no one perceived me as a nerd anymore, but that I must be part of the “in” crowd.

  Except that’s not what happened. Two and a half weeks into the “relationship” I overheard them talking about me. They were also discussing the other three girls he was dating at the time, and his Prep school girlfriend. He’d been dating at least four other females. I was his “bet” girlfriend. I broke it off with him, so he didn’t get the money, but I was humiliated and rejected. They called me his “nerd” girlfriend.

  That was high school. In college, my junior year, I decided to try dating again. This guy was quiet and studious like me. I was comfortable around him. When he asked me out, I couldn’t believe my luck. We dated for a few weeks, and I thought, “Hey I do know how to do this dating thing.” Wrong.

  He wanted to move our relationship to the next level. I didn’t. But it was all he talked about and it upset me, but he didn’t seem to take my feelings into consideration. I was his girlfriend so he said it was my job to take care of his needs. (I don’t remember him ever taking care of mine, in hindsight.)

  After a party one night, we returned to his apartment, because I’d left my bag there. He’d had too much to drink and grabbed me, telling me he knew why I’d come back with him. He ripped my shirt and bruised me pretty badly. In the end, I was glad he’d had so much to drink. He finally passed out and I fled. I’m certain he would have raped me if he hadn’t passed out.

  I remember a feeling like there were bugs crawling all over my skin. I hated the kissing, even. It was all slobbery and nasty. After that night, it was all I could do to say hello to him. I guess it was my fault he’d practically raped me. That’s what he said. And I didn’t fulfill his needs... I took at least three showers that night. And I almost dry heave every time I think about kisses.

  I later heard him brag to his fraternity brothers how he’d “had” the biggest nerd on campus. He told them “she’s far from hot, but hey, she’s a chick.” I threw up after I heard that. I don’t remember being “had”, more almost raped.

  But I don’t understand how intimacy can be so awful if my family is constantly spending time in Will’s closet? I don’t get it. I guess I must not be meant for love.

  NONE of my family knows about this. No one. I couldn’t bear to tell them. I feel like such a failure, and I didn’t want them to know I’d managed to screw up something perfectly natural and normal. At least for all of them. How do you explain something like that to people who do it right all the time?

  Enough of that subject - I can’t bear to think about it. I took care of your bills. I’m glad you trusted me to do this. So I thought I should trust you, too.

  Your credit union was so friendly, I've decided
to switch to them. Such a pleasure to work with. I had no difficulties, even with the billing company. Once I explained you were deployed overseas in Kuwait with the Marine Corps, the woman promptly waived the late fees and I paid the bill.

  No problems. I also spoke with your assistant, Carla, at your civilian job and she’s going to forward your mail to me. I’ll take care of anything else while you’re away.

  Incidentally, she told me a story I hadn’t heard from you. She mentioned Bentley and wondered where he’d gone. I told her I had him and she cried?! I didn’t know what to do and asked her what was wrong. Feeling more than a bit alarmed, I might add. She laughed and told me she was being stupid.

  Then, she explained to me about your former boss and his wife’s deaths and how Bentley had been theirs. She said you were like a son to them and that you’d found a father figure in the man. Carla mentioned how close the two of you were and how when they were killed in a car accident, you picked up Bentley first thing.

  Your thought was to keep him until the will was read and you’d give him to whichever family member they’d wished him to go. Only to discover you were their only heir and they’d made provision that Bentley would go to you.

  I told this story to Melly, and she wasn’t surprised. She said you were upset about having to give up Bentley and now I finally know why. (And I didn’t hear the story from you.) Giving him up meant giving up your last hold on Russ and Wendy Fandrich, two people who were the closest to parents you’ve ever had. I really enjoyed hearing this story. I’d love more details, please.

  No wonder Bentley means so much to you. It was an incredible story and you know, I cried right along with Carla. We were both laughing by the time we hung up, calling ourselves all kinds of idiots, but I really liked her. She reminds me of my Aunt Emma. All no nonsense with the biggest heart you’ll ever find.

  There’s the hint of fall in the air now. (It took your letter nearly a month to arrive.) It’s still hot, but the nights are cool. (Probably not as hot as you’re experiencing, but hot for Hershey, anyway.) September is right around the corner. Hopefully you’ll be back to the base soon.