by Shaw, LK
I took care of business and while I was washing my hands I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Damn, Victor was right. My face was already starting to bruise. I was also reminded of what occurred in here a few short hours ago. Along with our conversation at Cold Scoops. Did I dare take a chance at letting Victor get close? I had no intention of falling in love. It didn't mean we couldn’t spend time together though.
I took one more glance in the mirror, my decision made. Now to find Victor. My search led me to the den. I stood for a few moments observing him. Dark hair he kept cut close because otherwise his curls got out of control. The olive complexion and brown eyes. He had a jawline hid by the scruff he’d grown, but I could still recall the sharp angles of it. I’d dreamed about that face for years.
His looks weren’t all that drew me to him. He was a great brother to Ines. They’d always been close, and he’d encouraged her when she’d wanted to follow in the family footsteps and become a police officer. He was charming when he wanted to be. While I’d never tell him, he had a great sense of humor and always made me laugh.
He glanced up from his computer. My heart skipped at the smile he sent my way.
“Hey there. How’re you feeling?” He rose from the chair to stand in front of me. His gaze scanned my wound.
Before I could stop myself, I took a step forward and rose up onto my tiptoes. My hands landed on Victor’s chest to support myself. It took everything I had not to curl my fingers into his shirt and tug him closer. Instead I just barely brushed my lips across his before pulling back slightly. Our breath mingled and our mouths still practically touched. I locked eyes with him.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” I murmured against his lips.
He pulled me tight against him, and I sucked in a breath. I followed his every move as he tilted his head and, with breathtaking slowness, lowered his mouth to mine. This was no gentle brushing of lips. His tongue traced the seam of my mouth. I opened to him, and he plundered it as though trying to find a buried treasure. He tasted me. Devoured me. There was no holding anything back.
Victor consumed me.
His hair was soft between my fingertips as I clutched him tightly to me. I was punch drunk on his taste. His scent infused itself deep inside me. Musk and man. All Victor.
Our tongues danced, and I lost all track of time. My hips burned from the touch of his hands. His grip was strong and only made me want to discover how powerful and talented his hands really were. I was so swept away in delirious sensation, I almost missed the sound of someone clearing his throat. When it sounded again, only louder, Victor and I broke apart. Both of us were breathing heavy.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I figured you’d want to know that dad’s about to walk through the front door in about thirty seconds. You might want to” —Pablo gestured vaguely with a finger in our direction— “take that somewhere else besides the family den.”
I glanced down and saw my shirt was half pushed up. Almost far enough to expose my bra. Quickly, I yanked it down and smoothed it over my belly while avoiding Pablo’s gaze. My entire body flushed, and I was ready to dig a hole and crawl in it.
“Thanks for the heads up.”
I glanced over at the amusement in Victor’s tone. He looked down at me and had the gall to wink.
“Based on the evil eye Estelle’s throwing your way, bro, you might want to tone down your charm. While you two do what you do best, I’m going to my room. Call me when dinner’s ready.” Pablo turned and disappeared down the hallway.
Once he was gone, I looked back at Victor. “What are you staring at?”
His expression had turned serious. “I’m not staring. I’m thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” I tossed the words out, doing what, like Pablo said, I did best. Keep Victor at arm’s length. I spun on my heels and started to head upstairs.
Victor grabbed my hand. “Wait. Where are you going?”
I avoided his gaze. “To my room. I have work I need to finish.”
“Aren’t we going to talk about what just happened?”
Not if I could help it. I shrugged. “It was only a kiss, Victor.”
“Goddamn it, Estelle, this is exactly what I’m talking about. The minute I try to get close, you pull away.”
I avoided his knowing gaze. The one that saw right through me. “I’m not pulling away. I told you, I have work to do. Besides, I’m not sure what there is to talk about.”
He held up his hands like he didn’t understand why I was even asking. It didn’t help matters that I was now just as confused as him.
“Oh, I don’t know. How about everything that happens next, maybe?”
I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at the wall over his shoulder.
“I don’t know what happens next. But I do know I’m not ready to talk about it.” With that, I made my exit, scurrying away like a scared little mouse. Which was exactly what I was. In fact, I was terrified if I were being honest. I’d had my mind made up to test the waters. Spend time together. Get to know each other. I’d also still planned on guarding my heart. That was before his lips touched mine. Because that kiss? That kiss changed everything.
Chapter 12
“Son of a bitch.” I slammed my fists against my thighs.
“M’hijo, is everything okay?” My father stood in the hallway, concern evident on his face.
I dropped into the recliner, my head hanging in a mixture of defeat and frustration. “I pushed too hard, I think, papá.”
My father moved across the room and sat on the edge of the couch. “Let me tell you a story. One night, when Ines was eight or nine, I received a phone call. It was late evening, perhaps around ten. I could barely make out the words behind the tears of the little girl on the other end. The screaming and loud crashes in the background didn’t help. After a time, I was able to calm her down enough to understand what she was saying.”
I sat upright. He was talking about Estelle. My father stared hard at me like what he was about to impart something extremely important.
“I told her to lock herself in the bathroom, and I’d be right over. The screaming was still going on when I pounded on the front door fifteen some minutes later. Her father jerked the door open and berated me for knocking on his door so late, even though he knew who I was. I pushed past him and said I was taking the girl home with me for the evening.” His voice hardened, and I could hear the anger in it as he continued his story.
“Tentatively, she peered around the corner, her large blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears. In her hands was a tattered teddy bear with several holes and white stuffing peeking out of them. I grabbed a blanket off the couch and wrapped it around her tiny body. I brought her home without a single word of resistance from either of her parents and tucked her in bed with your sister. The next morning I told her that she should always count on me being there whenever she needed me.”
I sat there in stunned silence. I vaguely recalled waking up one day as a kid and finding Estelle in the house. She hadn’t been there when I’d gone to bed. But it happened so long ago, I’d forgotten about it.
“That is the kind of family your Estelle grew up in. Two people who should have loved each other more than anything screaming and cursing at the other. They also didn’t seem to care enough to protest the fact that I was leaving with their daughter. They only cared about their hatred for one another. For Estelle, that is what love represents. She fights so hard because if her love turned into what her parents had, it would destroy her. That is the memory you have to contend with.”
Fuck. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but not to this degree. It was a good thing I was a stubborn fucker. I was going to show her she could trust me, because Estelle was worth it. I rose and leaned down to kiss my father’s cheek. “Gracias, papá. Thank you for telling me. You gave me a lot to think about.”
“Just be patient, m’hijo. Show her every day how you feel. Don’t be afraid to let her see your feelings.”
&n
bsp; “I wish you and mama had longer together.”
“Your mother was an amazing woman. She was my soul mate. We had fifteen of the best years of my life together. Every day I’m grateful for the children we were blessed with. You, your brothers, and sister are her legacy. She would be proud of all of you.”
I kissed his cheek again. “Te amo, papá. Buenas noches.”
I went upstairs and paused for a beat outside Ines’ room. Trying to give Estelle some more space, I didn’t knock. Instead, I went to my room to plan.
* * *
It was late, well after eleven. My cell phone rang just as I’d laid down.
“Hello?”
“Is this Victor?”
“Who’s this?” I certainly wasn’t going to confirm my identify to some random caller.
“A friend. You and I share two mutual friends who recently left the city for a more… can we say discreet location? With much more wide-open spaces and few neighbors.”
I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed. My fingers tightened on the phone. The only person this could be was Preston Thomas. Why was Brody’s brother calling me?
“What can I do for you?”
“I have a proposition for you, but I don’t want to talk over the phone.”
“Where?”
“Can you meet me in about an hour at Mickey’s Bar? It’s on the corner of Easton and Barber near Wicker Park.”
“I’ll be there.”
“See you then.”
After getting dressed, I opened up my closet and pulled the lock box down from the top shelf. I pounded out the combination and heard the lock disengage. From it, I withdrew my personal .35mm and clipped the holster onto my waistband. It wasn’t necessarily that I didn’t trust Brody's brother, but I’d rather go into a meeting prepared. The only thing I knew about him was he was a recovering heroin addict who’d been clean about a year.
I wasn’t prepared to explain my destination to my father or brother yet. As quietly as possible I crept downstairs. I made it as far as the kitchen before I remembered my truck was out of commission. Shit. My only option was to take my father’s car. I grabbed the keys off their hook and slipped out the front door. Before long, I stood inside the entrance of Mickey’s Bar, my eyes scanning the dim, smoky room.
Straight down the middle were square tables, peppered here and there with older gentleman who stared just as intently back at me. Off to the right were a couple of pool tables with games in session. To the left was a fully stocked bar complete with a long, wall length mirror behind it reflecting the entire place. A bartender stood at the far end drying glasses. He greeted me with a chin jerk.
The main thing I noticed was that, while not a large crowd, everyone appeared near my dad’s age. Was I at the right place? From the farthest back corner, a younger man around my age, slid out of one of the dark colored, tattered leather booths lining the back wall and strode toward me. He was tall, a little over six foot, with the sleeves of his shirt pushed up past his elbows.
“Victor?”
I nodded and held out my hand. “You must be Preston.”
He shook my hand, and I couldn’t help but notice the track marks dotting the inside of his elbows. He saw where my gaze landed but didn’t try to hide them.
“Thanks for coming. Why don’t we take a seat?” He gestured toward the booth he’d vacated.
I trailed after him. The penetrating gaze of multiple sets of eyes followed us, but no one made a move. Preston scooted into the booth, and I moved in opposite him. The faint sounds of country music seeped from the speakers of the nearby jukebox.
“So, what sort of proposition do you have in mind?” I broke the silence.
“I talked to Brody yesterday and heard what happened to Ines’ friend. He also told me you guys are looking for information on the whereabouts of Miguel Álvarez. I’ve been thinking it over, and after a long and drawn out argument with my brother, I think I found a way to help you locate him. Or at least get information on where he might possibly be hiding.”
“How do you think you can do that?” I was definitely skeptical.
Preston hesitated and then steeled his expression. He gestured to his exposed scars. “I’m sure you’ve heard about my drug addiction.”
I inclined my head. “It might have been mentioned.”
“Yes, I’m sure it has.” His lips tipped up in one corner. “I’m sure you’re also aware that I’m one of the reasons Brody joined the D.E.A. and went undercover to bring down the cartel.”
Actually, that bit of information surprised me, but I hid the fact. “I may have heard something to that effect as well.”
I was now even more curious to see what his plan was.
“Although Brody says he’s forgiven me, it’s something I don’t know that I can ever forgive myself for. Which is why it’s important for me to find a way to help. I can never right the wrongs I’ve done, but I can do my damnedest to atone for them.”
“Go on.”
“I have connections in the drug world that you, as a cop, don’t have. Dealers trust me. As much as they trust anybody that is. Addicts also talk. Usually about who has the best stash, which has always been Álvarez. Because I’m one of them, the chances of someone talking to me are far greater. They’re also not suspicious about certain questions being asked. I’ll get a lot farther than if you or your cop buddies ask them. Addicts have a special code. We don’t narc.”
Preston sat back and let all the information he’d just exposed sink in. If I was interpreting his words correctly, it sounded as though Brody’s brother just offered to go against the entire code he was supposed to live by.
“How would what you’re suggesting work?”
He sat forward again, his voice low. “You’d be my point of contact. I’d ask around, looking for the best stuff. Then I’d notify you when a deal was about to go down. After the trade, whether it be information or products, I’d hand everything off to you. With each deal, hopefully we’d move further up the food chain, which will then lead us to Álvarez.”
In theory his plan sounded perfect, but the reality would be far different. Especially considering the fact that a recovering addict was going to be in possession, albeit briefly, of the very things he craved.
“I take it Brody didn’t agree with this plan?”
Preston harrumphed. “Why would he? It’s dangerous for so many reasons. My brother and I have had a…strained relationship over the last almost eleven years. Considering the life I’ve led, it’s understandable. I don’t blame him for his hesitation about me putting myself in situations that could cause my relapse. Although hesitant is putting it mildly. I think his exact words were ‘Are you out of your fucking mind?’.”
I had to laugh. But I also took pause. As someone with my own brotherly issues, I commiserated with Preston. I knew what it was like living in an older sibling’s shadow.
“What happens if you can’t get the information we’re looking for?”
“I will.” There was determination and confidence behinds words. “People talk. Especially those wanting a fix.”
“What happens if you become one of those people? The one wanting a fix, I mean.”
His laugh was hollow. “You must not know much about addicts. We’re always wanting a fix. Some of us just realize there are things we want more.”
“Like?”
“Like atonement.”
Chapter 13
I’d tossed and turned the entire night reliving Victor’s kiss. It was everything I’d thought it would be yet so much more. What I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to Ines about this. On second thought, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. She’d tell me to pull my head out of my ass. She’d also be absolutely right.
I’d given up getting any sleep at seven this morning. Instead, I got up and went downstairs for a cup of coffee. The house had been quiet. The kitchen empty. It was the first time since my stay at the Rodriguez house began that no one had been milling a
round. It was a little disconcerting. The house had always been full of hustle and bustle. I filled my mug, grabbed an orange and banana, and had come back up to finish my lesson plans for the week. Now that that was done, I couldn’t come up with any more reasons to stay hidden in my room.
“Ugh.” I threw my head back in frustration. Why did life have to be so damn complicated? Why did I let my parents continue to have this stupid hold over me? They’d ruined so many things for me over the years. I couldn’t let them ruin this too. I needed to talk to Victor.
What was the worst that could happen if we explored this… attraction between us? Aside from ending up with a broken heart and possibly losing my best friend that is? Ines wouldn’t want to take sides, and I knew that could cause tension between her and Victor. More than anything, I didn’t want that. I needed to re-evaluate my life though. Did I really want to spend the rest of it alone because I was afraid? Afraid to take a risk? Afraid of falling in love? Fuck.
I uncrossed my legs and threw them over the edge of the bed. For several minutes I sat there gathering my courage. With a determined heave, I pushed myself out the bedroom door and down the hall. Before I lost my courage, I knocked on Victor’s door. I fidgeted, and continued questioning my decision, while I waited for him. The door opened, and my time for second guessing was over.
He stood in the half-opened doorway wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung jeans. My eyes locked on the narrow strip of hair that disappeared below his waistband. Focus, Estelle. I blinked and lifted my gaze back up to his face. His eyes were hooded, and I couldn’t see what he was thinking. His cheeky grin was absent, and I sorely missed it.
“May I come in?”
Without a word, he stepped back. I swallowed hard and clutched my fingers tightly in front of me when he shut us both in. This was the first time I’d been in Victor’s room. It wasn’t anything like I’d imagined. His bed was perfectly made, the pillows tucked neatly beneath the folded over flap of a black down comforter. No clothes were strewn all over. Instead, there was a hamper in the corner.