Repo Earth

by Jeff Walsh

  “It's not a motor,” she said, “at least not any kind I've ever seen. It's missing about a dozen key components and contains a few parts that I've never actually seen before.”

  “But that's not the crazy part,” she continued. “If you get down really low and look up, back through the grate, there's a bunch of gears and springs, like some sort of clockwork device. I laid on my back to see it better and suddenly a blue light shot out and I swear it scanned me. Like you see in the movies. It started at my head, ran down my body, and back up. Then all the gears started moving and the box on top started humming.”

  “I think we need to get back in the car, drive until we can get a signal on the CB radio, at least, and call some people,” Marcus said. “This is all very exciting, but we aren't even sure what this thing is.”

  A moment later the larger box began to radiate a blue light from within.

  “Whoa!” Anthony blurted out. “Why's it glowing?”

  “This doesn't seem safe,” Marcus said, panic running rampant in his voice. “Even by the most loosely held standards of safety I think it's appropriate to start running.”

  “Just wait a second,” Anthony stated. “You big baby.”

  After about thirty seconds of buzzing and clanking, the elevator began to drop. The group jumped at its sudden movement, then slowly approached and stuck their heads over the edge of the shaft and watched as the elevator slowly plummeted out of sight into the darkness below.

  “I'm going back to the car,” Marcus said. “You two can wait here, or do whatever it is you want to do.” He turned and started walking away.

  “Marcus wait,” Genny blurted out. She fell instep with her husband after about twenty steps and grabbed his hand. “What's wrong with you?”

  “Look,” he said and shook his hand free. “That boulder, or dome, or whatever that thing is, it just fell from the sky. It fell from the sky and was basically swallowed up by the ground. Then, as if that's not enough, it took almost thirty seconds before the ground reacted. That's not normal. And since I'm on the subject of the ground, a thing that size, falling from the sky creates, this?” Marcus gestured around at the crater.

  “This is a huge ditch,” he said. “Not an impact crater. We were at ground zero and this thing didn't even make a sound when it landed. You're not stupid. That boulder...ball...thing, is massive. Whatever we just saw, it's not natural and probably dangerous. I mean, it has an elevator on the side of it.”

  Attempting to calm his panic Marcus breathed deep.

  “I'm just saying,” he continued, “a giant boulder, quite possibly from space, with a rickety elevator on the side of it just crashed down in front of us. The motor, or whatever that thing is, shot out lasers and lights. I'm not being unreasonable here. But you two want to just hang around and see if something more interesting happens.”

  “You're right,” Genny said. “Nothing we've seen makes sense. Let's get Anthony and we'll drive until we get some sort of signal to make some phone calls. Okay?”

  “Yes.” Marcus responded. “Thank you.”

  Just as the two turned to get Anthony they saw him speeding toward them. His face full of panic.

  “Uh, you two, the elevator's up. And someone's coming out of it,” Anthony yelled.

  Chapter 2

  The gated door of the elevator slid open. This caused the three friends to hurriedly make their way out of the crater. They nearly jumped around the opposite side of the jeep. A moment later an elderly gentleman emerged.

  “Ah fantastic,” the old man said as he looked toward the jeep and stroked his stringy white beard. A slight desert wind kicked up and whisked the only four hairs on his head straight up into the air.

  He strolled toward the group until he reached the incline leading out of the crater and cleared his throat. Looking down at himself, he quickly tucked his festive Hawaiian shirt into his cargo shorts. Straightening his posture he poised himself and started to speak. Quickly he snapped his mouth shut and adjusted a rather large pair of yellow sunglasses resting on his face. Satisfied at his appearance he began once more, “Are you three interested in taking one last tour, or do you just want to get straight to it?”

  The three looked to each other, confused, then back to the old man.

  The old man paused for a moment as he looked to the three behind the jeep.

  “Hello?” The old man asked. “Can you hear me?”

  “What should we do?” Anthony whispered to the group. He'd reached into the jeep and tucked something into his waist band.

  “Sorry if I've startled you three,” the old man said. “But we really do need to be off, so if you want one last go around, speak up.”

  The group remained unmoving.

  The old man puzzled for a moment, then very slowly he said, “Can...you...understand...me?”

  Marcus looked to Anthony then to Genny. He looked back to the old man and nodded yes.

  “Okay, well that's a start,” the old man said. “I wasn't sure if my translator had gone on the fritz. Anyway, as I said, do you three want to take one last zoom before heading out?”

  “I'm. I'm. I'm s...s...sorry,” Marcus stuttered and stammered. His last words falling slowly from his lips. “But. Who. Are. You?”

  “I'm the guy who's asking if you'd like a tour before getting under way,” the old man responded.

  “Right,” Marcus responded. “Okay. What I meant was—.” He was cut off.

  “Fantastic,” The old man said happily. “If you'll just follow me.”

  He turned and stepped back toward the giant rock buried in the ground.

  “What I meant was,” Marcus blurted out.

  The old man, already exasperated, shifted his weight as his shoulders slouched forward. He turned back to the group, “I thought that was too easy.”

  Marcus continued, “Who are you, like, personally? Not who are you as in this whole general situation.”

  “Personally?” the old man questioned. “Well, personally, I wish I'd won the coin flip because I'm terrible at these first contact situations. I could be sitting in the cooled lounge instead of being up here, struggling to sort all of this out with you all. I will mention, generally, this type of thing is a lot easier if the group just cooperates. In either case I'm not sure what any of that has to do with anything.”

  “Was he even trying to answer my question?” Marcus asked as he looked to Genny.

  Genny shrugged.

  Marcus turned back toward the old man, this time determined to get a clear answer. “Did you come from that thing over there?”

  “No,” the old man responded. “I've never been here before. Originally, I come from Praltius IV, but then my parents moved my family to Ostenbar. Honestly boy, I'm not really sure why any of this matters though.”

  “I don't understand anything he's saying,” Marcus said quietly to the group.

  “Ah dang it,” the old man said. “I knew this translator wasn't working.”

  Suddenly, the old man began smacking himself in the head.

  “Whoa,” Marcus blurted out. “What are you doing? Why are you hitting yourself?”

  “What? Is that better?” The old man asked. “Can you understand me now?”

  “No, I mean, yes. Sorry,” Marcus answered. “We understand the words you're using, it's just, we don't know what you're talking about when you say them.”

  The old man scrunched his face in agitation.

  “Why didn't you just say that?” The old man retorted. “It hurts when I have to adjust my translator.”

  Marcus looked to Anthony and shrugged, not knowing what to say.

  “Sorry,” Anthony said. “He's not very good with people.”

  The old man nodded as he accepted Anthony's apology.

  “Would you mind telling us who you are and what you're doing here?” Anthony asked.

  “I told you,” the old man stated, now sounding perturbed. “I'm the guy you're talking to and I'm offering you a tour before we get und
erway.”

  “Okay,” Anthony said as he went along with whatever the old man said. “A tour of what?”

  “Earth Mark II.”

  Anthony looked to Genny who, again, shrugged conveying her confusion.

  “I have another question,” Marcus said. “Did you have something to do with all of this?”

  Marcus pointed and darted his hand around gesturing toward the half buried rock and crater.

  “No,” the old man replied. “Really, I guess you could say it was the group digging on Hesan II that started all of this. Or if you want to get really technical, it would be the first colony that started it all.”

  “Okay.” Marcus responded.

  “Okay,” the old man replied happily.

  A long awkward pause hung in the air.

  “So we're ready to go?” The old man asked.

  “Well, no,” Marcus replied.

  The old man sighed.

  “This is far more complicated than I anticipated,” the old man said to himself. “And we're really running out of time. They're going to be here any minute.”

  “If I may,” Marcus said timidly. “I have another question. Although at this point I don't really expect an answer that'll make sense.”

  The old man nodded slightly in agreement.

  “Where does that elevator go?” Marcus asked.

  The old man puzzled his face.

  “The elevator on the side of that rock-thing you came up out of,” Marcus said and pointed back behind the old man.

  “Rock thing?” The old man questioned as he turned around. “Oh!” He exclaimed. “That's not a rock.” He chuckled slightly.

  He clapped his hands together and the trio watched as the entire rocky dome flickered off and on like a projection. A moment later it was gone and in its place stood a tall metallic ring, resembling something like a large gear, easily twenty feet in diameter and slowly spinning horizontally. Across the entirety of the ring wound a thick, copper colored tubing. At the base, on what would be the left and right sides, protruded dozens of long glass tubes. The trio could see some sort of large coil inside the tubes as well as dozens of other wires. After a few moments the large ring stopped spinning and aligned perfectly with the tubes.

  “There we go,” the old man said. “All better, right? Now we can be on our way.”

  “What the?” Anthony mumbled out.

  The old man looked to the group. All three had come away from the jeep, with mouths agape and faces full of shock.

  “Fantastic.” The old man announced. “”Just watch your step there as you make your way down here.”

  The three remained unmovedg.

  “Hello?” The old man said and paused for a moment. “We're going now, right?”

  Marcus slowly looked to the old man then back to the center of the crater, then back to the old man. He raised his hand and pointed.

  “What's that?”

  “Oh. Whoops,” the old man responded. “I forgot you don't have those yet.”

  Anthony looked to the old man, eyes wide and asked, “Who are you?”

  The old man opened his mouth to answer but Anthony cut him off, “Please don't say the thing you've been saying.”

  The old man snapped his mouth shut, then opened it once more, paused, closed it, then began to ponder his next words.

  After a moment he nodded as if agreeing with himself.

  “Okay,” the old man stated emphatically. He looked to the sky, paused for a moment, and then looked back to the group. “We're really running short on time now. So why don't the four of us just head on out, and then maybe things will explain themselves later. You know, once we're all safe.”

  “We're not going anywhere until you start answering some questions,” Anthony said. “For starters, why aren't we safe?”

  “Well,” the old man said. “Like I've said, they're coming. We just need to head out before they get here.”

  “Head out of where?” Marcus asked sternly.

  “Earth Mark II,” the old man stated bluntly.

  “What's Earth Mark II?” Marcus yelled.

  “Well, all of this,” the old man gestured.

  He swept his arms up and around in an arcing circle and spun himself around on his toes.

  “You know one last go around before—ZOOM,” the old man said, thrusting his hand outward and up.

  “Wait, you're talking about the Earth, like the planet Earth?” Marcus asked, suddenly connecting the man's words to his gestures. “You're asking if we want a tour of Earth?”

  “Mark II—yes,” the old man responded as if it was so very obvious he'd been talking about the planet the entire time.

  “Yes.” Marcus stated bewilderingly. “You answered yes just now. I asked if you're talking about the whole Earth and you said, yes. And of course you added Mark II, because why wouldn't you?”

  “Why wouldn't I add Mark II?” The old man asked in response. “Well, Mark I wouldn’t make any sense.”

  “Okay, let's see where this goes,” Marcus said his tone sounding exhausted. “Why exactly wouldn’t Mark I make sense?”

  “We called the first one Mark I,” he continued. “You can’t have two Mark I’s. Wait…can you?” The old man initially gave his statement as fact until he questioned himself.

  “The first one? The first, Earth.” Anthony blurted out. “You're saying this is the second Earth?”

  “No I guess you can’t,” the old man responded, now talking to himself. “Because then it would get confusing when giving tours, and then there's the whole registration process.”

  Suddenly the old man snapped his eyes back to the group, “Oh yes, sorry earth man. Yes, of course this is the second. But it's really the first that's causing all this intergalactic interest in the second.”

  Anthony and Marcus just looked at each other.

  The old man began to wave his hands dismissively in the air, “This is all getting so confusing,” he said. “And we really do need to get going, we only have about another eighteen of your minutes left before they arrive and things start getting explody.”

  “Explody?” Anthony asked. “Why are things going to start exploding?”

  “That's what usually happens when pulsers or rail cannons are fired,” the old man replied.

  “What are you talking about?” Anthony blurted out. Frustration ran rampant in his voice. “Who's coming with cannons?”

  “Those who are coming for you,” the old man said. “We've covered this.”

  “Who's coming for us?” Marcus asked. “Why are people coming for us?” He motioned to himself, Genny and Anthony.

  “Well, not you three specifically,” the old man answered. “Anyone will do but,” he waved his hand dismissively. “If you'd just come with me all of this will be easier to explain, and a lot safer.”

  He gestured for them to follow as he started walking back toward the metal ring.

  “Okay, for the sake of argument, let's say we go with you,” Anthony said. “Where are we going?”

  “Up,” the old man turned and said with a smile on his face. “Well I guess technically down, then up, but that's just semantics.”

  “Hey champs,” Genny finally chimed in, “you're both doing a great job deciphering all of this, but, I'm tired of this back and forth. Let me ask a couple questions.”

  She made her way down into the crater and approached the old man who was now standing on the base of the ring structure. She could now see there was, what appeared to be, a platform of some kind through which wires and different parts were visible. Encircling this grated platform was another metallic ring, which was buried somewhat in the dirt. It was connected to and holding the vertical ring aloft.

  “You want us to join you up on that thing, correct?” Genny asked.

  “Uh—yes,” The old man said.

  Genny watched as a long square box rose from the floor near the old man. It had dozens of levers and switches on top of it, as well as a big red button at the center
.

  “Well, that isn't happening until we get some straight answers,” she said. “We just watched something fall from the sky, which by itself is a little unnerving.”

  “Not really,” the old man said.

  “Then, as we inspected the thing,” she continued choosing to ignore his remark, “we found what we believed to be an elevator. My good friend Anthony over there,” Genny turned and pointed. She saw Marcus and Anthony making their way down into the crater. “Well, he saw you come up and out of it.”

  “I can see how he'd think that,” the old man confirmed. “But it's not true.”

  “As if that wasn't strange enough,” Genny pressed on. “You clapped your hands and made all of that disappear, only to make whatever this thing is appear in its place.”

  “I did do that,” the old man said as Marcus and Anthony joined Genny.

  “And now you're saying people are coming for us,” she continued. “You're being more than a little vague about everything, and I think you're doing it on purpose.”

  The old man nodded in agreement.

  “And now you expect us to what?” She continued. “Just hop up on your platform and act like this all makes sense.”

  “It does make sense,” the old man responded. “Just not yet.”

  Genny paused for a moment.

  “I'm sorry,” the old man said. “I don't mean to be rude, it's just that the clock is ticking, but did you have a question, or a point, or something?”

  “Yeah,” Genny blurted out. “Why don't you shove off? We aren't going anywhere until you start making sense.”

  Marcus smirked at Genny's directness.

  The old man relaxed as he leaned against the console box, a smile crept across his face.

  “That's the key word of the universe isn't it. Why!” He said emphatically.

  “In every galaxy, in every system, people are always asking, why? Why would we go there? Why should we eat that? Why do I listen to this or watch that? It's such a deceptively simple question.”

  The trio gathered together as the old man spoke. His tone, even his posture, drew them in.

  “But,” he continued, “that's not actually the question you're asking, is it? I mean, of course you asked a 'why' question, because everything inside of you forces it out. It's like a reflex. But you three, you don't really care about the why.”