Amish Country Arson

by Risner, Fay

  “You think?” Hal teased. She sniffed him. “Actually, you didn't do such a bad job of getting rid of the stink.”

  “I still think I smell like skunk,” Noah said.

  “You might, but it is not noticeable enough to miss the singing,” John said.

  After milking, Noah and Daniel hitched Ben to the courting buggy. He stuck his head in the screen door. “We are leaving for the singing.”

  Daniel was behind him. “I am riding Molly tonight.”

  John stopped rocking and smiled at him. “The courting buggy getting crowded.”

  Daniel blushed. “Jah, Noah is taking Jenny Yoder with him tonight. Mark Yoder and I will ride our horses.”

  Noah blushed as he quickly shut the screen door and tromped down the porch steps with Daniel hurrying to keep up.

  “Your boys are growing up, John,” Jim said. “Noah dating now and soon Daniel will be.”

  “Jah,” John agreed.

  Aunt Tootie came out of her bedroom with a handkerchief over her nose. “The wind is from the east. I don't know which is worse. The skunk smell on the dog, or the moth ball smell under the porch working its way into my bedroom.”

  Nora laughed. “Hal was desperate, but just remember the moth balls were your idea.”

  “Pooh,” grumped Aunt Tootie as she disappeared into the clinic.

  That night after they went to bed, Hal turned on her side and rested her head on her hand. “John, did you meet the new member, Enoch Bruner, at worship service?”

  “Jah, I did,” John uttered sleepily.

  “Well, what did you think of him?” Hal insisted.

  “That he was a hard working man who will make a gute living on his farm.”

  “I met his wife, Wanda. Her sister, Gladys Kraybill, stayed home. Not feeling well her sister said,” Hal mused.

  John opened his eyes and looked at her. “You do not sound as if you believe her?”

  “Wanda seemed really edgy when she talked about her sister. I got the feeling there might be something else wrong. I offered to pay Gladys a visit, but Wanda shot that down quick enough,” Hal said.

  John muttered, “You suppose it might be because the woman is not ailing enough to need a nurse or doctor?”

  “That's true, but she better not be faking. Bishop Bontrager told Wanda he was stopping by one day this week to meet Gladys. He wants her to the next worship service. Did Enoch tell you why they moved here after they lived in Kansas their whole life?” Hal persisted.

  “Jah, the Old Order Amish was phasing out to Beachy Amish, and he wanted to go where other Old Order Amish live,” John reported drowsily.

  “Jah, Wanda told me that, too. I think I will have a problem with them before they have a chance to settle in.” Hal let out a long sigh.

  John's eyes flew open again. “Now why would you think that? You just met Wanda Bruner, ain't so?”

  “Wanda said they were against owning cars and cell phones,” Hal replied.

  “Sure enough. That is just like our Ordnung rules,” John said.

  “Except I own a car and a cell phone. How is Wanda and her husband going to feel toward me when they find out?”

  “If the time comes we need to, we will explain how you use the car and phone for emergencies and hope they understand. Stop worrying and go to sleep now,” John grumped, throwing his arm over his eyes.

  “Ach, you sound just like Jane,” Hal complained.

  “Sure enough, I expect I do. Jane is a smart woman,” John said with a sparkle in his dark brown eyes.

  “Fine, but I can't help worrying. I like Wanda. If the Bruners find out about my modern conveniences from Stella Strutt, you know how she can spin the story. It won't be in my favor.”

  “Nothing we can do about it this late at night. Go to sleep, Hal,” came John's muffled slur as he drifted off.

  Chapter 4

  Monday started off routine. Everyone woke up early. The men went to the barn, and the women headed for the kitchen. Above the usual farm sounds came Biscuit's long mournful howls of protest about being locked up.

  As soon as Hal dressed Redbird and Beth, she put the girls in their high chairs. “I'm going to check the live trap before I get busy and forget to do it,” Hal told her mother and aunt.

  She walked to the end of the porch. She could see through the trap. The broken eggs had been sucked dry, but the trap door wasn't shut. The plywood covered the flower bed. At the end of the plywood was a gaping hole. Hal groaned.

  At breakfast, she gave the boys an update. “I will give the animal credit for being industrious. It tunneled under the plywood to get out. Now what do we do? There has to be a way to outsmart the critter.”

  Noah stopped eating to think. “We have a rock pile in the gully where we picked up rocks out of the fields. Suppose we lined the rocks along the plywood. The animal would find those too heavy to move, and the rocks should sink on top of him if he digs under them.”

  “If that's what it's going to take, I'll gladly help you carry the rocks,” Hal said. “That animal has to find a new home before winter. I don't want it to hibernate under the porch.”

  “Not that I will be here this winter, but I agree with Hallie,” Aunt Tootie said. “I am uncomfortable with the notion that an animal is living that close to me. Especially a skunk.”

  Tuesday before daylight, Hal woke to the most unpleasant odor. She got out of bed and went to investigate. John followed her. The others were in the hall, holding their noses.

  When everyone came downstairs, Aunt Tootie was upright in bed with a hanky over her nose. She hacked and swallowed hard which choked her.

  Hal asked, “Are you all right?”

  “I can't take much more of this. It smells like skunk,” Aunt Tootie gasped.

  “I know it does. Now which do you think smells worse, skunk stink or moth balls?” Nora teased.

  Aunt Tootie's alarm clock went off. Perturbed at Nora, she slapped at the clock. Her finger slipped off the alarm clock button and bumped her cell phone. It clattered to the floor.

  “Do something someone?” Aunt Tootie demanded, holding her stomach and gagging.

  Nora grabbed her under the arm. “Calm down, Tootie. Next, you'll throw up. Get up and come out to the living room with me before that happens.”

  “I will go check the trap,” Daniel said. He turned on a flashlight and eased out the clinic door. Instantly, he rushed back inside. “We caught the skunk. What do we do, Noah?”

  “We did not catch the skunk. Mama Hal did,” Noah said with a wink.

  “You aren't serious about making me empty that trap,” Hal moaned.

  “Jah, that is recht. That was the deal. We catch the skunk, and you empty the trap,” Daniel said.

  “All recht, but I have to find me some clothes to wear that I can air out and wash,” Hal grumped, shaking the skirt of her cotton nightgown.

  “Come on, Noah. We better get to the barn and start the generator.” Daniel headed for the door.

  “Will you people please hurry up and decide what you're going to do,” Aunt Tootie whined, standing in the door way. “This is terrible. I'm getting so sick at my stomach.”

  A series of rings in the cupboard interrupted her tirade. Everyone stared at the cupboard door.

  “That has to be my cell phone. I wasn't expecting a call from anyone,” Hal exclaimed. She fished the phone out of her nursing bag and flipped the lid. “Hello.” An outburst of giggling met her ear. “Good morning, Nurse Hal. This is Jean in the emergency center at the sheriff's office. Sounds like you have an emergency at your house.” Jean burst into laughter again. “I'm sorry. I know it isn't funny to you.”

  “And you are calling me, why?” Hal asked dryly. She usually had a sense of humor but not this morning.

  “Someone at your house called nine one one. I couldn't get anyone to talk to me, but I can hear the excitement going on and recognized your voice. I decided to call your phone, so you knew we were listening in.”

 
“I am so sorry we bothered you,” Hal apologized, blushing.

  Jean choked on laughter. “No problem. I'm just glad it's you and not me that has to empty that trap.”

  “Thanks a lot,” Hal said.

  “You really shouldn't call nine one one for evacuating a skunk from a trap,” Jean cautioned seriously.

  “Of course not. I'll be sure to deliver your message to the one that made the call. I'm so sorry we bothered you.” After she hung up, Hal looked from her mother to her aunt. “Which one of you called nine one one about the skunk? You got us in trouble with the emergency center.”

  The women looked innocently at each other and shrugged.

  Hal fisted her hands on her hips. “I'm to tell the caller a skunk in a trap wasn't the kind of emergency the center handles. Both of you check your phones, please.”

  “Hal, my phone is upstairs. I haven't touched it for a long time,” Nora declared.

  Tootie snatched up her phone from the floor and checked it. “Uh oh!” Tootie eased the phone to her ear. Quickly, she shut it off. “Someone was laughing on the other end.”

  “Aunt Tootie!” Hal screeched.

  “I'm sorry, Hal. I didn't know when the phone fell it speed dialed itself nine one one,” Aunt Tootie said sheepishly.

  Hal turned to face John. “John, about the skunk.”

  “Oh no, I cannot take care of the skunk. I have to milk, and the cows will not come in the milk room if I smell like skunk,” John said.

  “Dad?”

  “It's daylight now. I have to help John milk,” Jim said, lining up with John and the boys.

  “All of you are cowards. Fine, I will empty the trap. First, I have to change into some old clothes.”

  “You can use a pair of my old trousers and a shirt,” John offered.

  “That's generous of you,” Nora said dryly.

  John shrugged as he grinned at her. He headed for the barn with Jim following him.

  Hal rushed from the room. She came back in a few minutes in one of John's blue work shirts and black trousers. She'd put on her oldest black bonnet over her prayer cap to cover her hair. A black work hanky covered her nose and mouth. A pair of yellow chore gloves protected her hands. She held up John's twenty-two rifle. “Wish me luck, ladies.”

  “You should find something to throw over the trap to keep the skunk from pewing you. The stink will get on you bad enough from just handling the trap and being near that animal,” Nora said.

  “Sure enough. I'll get an old sheet out of the rag basket.” Hal rushed off and came back carrying a folded sheet. She leaned the rifle against the wall and unfolded the sheet just enough to cover the trap. “Now I'm ready. Pray for me.”

  Aunt Tootie cried, “We will, dear.”

  Hal took a deep breath and walked outside.

  Nora and Aunt Tootie rushed to the clinic window to watch. Hal threw the sheet over the side of the porch. She eased over to look down at the trap. With a grim expression, she looked at her mother and aunt. “I've got the trap covered.”

  Hal walked down the steps and along the porch, She felt for the middle of the live trap and eased the handle upright to lifted it. The trap felt light. The skunk sure didn't weigh much.

  Now where should she take the trap? Maybe to the edge of the hay field. She'd shoot the skunk and dump the body in the gully.

  Hal tried not to take more than small gasps as she hurried along the lane. From the pasture drifted the bleats of her sheep flock, wanting her attention. This was no time to stop and inspected the ewes and buck like she usually would.

  Somewhere she'd heard or read a skunk has to brace his feet to pew. She surely didn't have to worry about that with him off balance until she set the trap down.

  When Hal reached the edge of the alfalfa, she looked around. The day was going to be a nice one. Why did this old skunk have to ruin it?

  Hal eased the trap to the ground. She grabbed a hand full of sheet and pointed the rifle, ready to whip the sheet off the trap. She hesitated when she thought about what came next. This wasn't going to be easy, killing an animal. She'd never killed a living thing before except for chickens, and she cringed each time she swung the hatchet toward a chicken neck. She couldn't possible fire the rifle with the skunk looking at her. Maybe she could shoot the skunk through the sheet. She wouldn't have to see him die. She'd wait a few minutes and carry the trap to the gully to empty it.

  That was the best plan Hal could come up with. She tried to steady the rifle in her trembling hands as she stuck the barrel close to the sheet. With her eyes closed, Hal squeezed the trigger. The bullet rented a round hole, with a powder burn ring, in the sheet. What if she didn't kill the skunk? The poor animal had to be in pain. She should fire once more. She closed her eyes and pulled the trigger again.

  Noah was washing a cow's bag when he heard the shot. He stood up and looked at Daniel behind him. “That was a gun shot close by.”

  “I heard it,” Daniel said as he strained to listen above the hum of the generator.

  Another shot!

  John and Jim stopped unhooking milkers. John said, “Maybe we better go see what the shooting is all about.”

  “Daniel and me can go see if you want, Daed. That way you can finish milking,” Noah suggested.

  John grimaced. “I do not want you walking up on hunters chasing deers. You might get shot by accident.”

  “John, you go with the boys. I'll milk while you're gone,” Jim said.

  “That might be best,” John agreed. He rushed outside with the boys behind him.

  Nora and Aunt Tootie stood on the edge of the porch with hands shading their eyes as they stared toward the pasture lane.

  “You women hear shots?” John asked.

  “Yes.” Nora pointed. “Hal killed the skunk by the hay field.

  “Oh, that's what it was. We might as well go back and finish milking,” John said to the boys.

  Noah grabbed Daniel's arm as they followed their father. “Ach, nah!”

  Daniel looked confounded. “How could Mama Hal shoot the skunk? I killed the skunk.”

  John stopped and turned to face them. “I thought you said Hal had to empty the trap.”

  “We were just teasing her,” Noah said. “We did not mean for her to really get rid of the skunk.”

  “Jah, I bopped the skunk before we went to the barn,” Daniel said. “The trap is empty.”

  “You boys are going to be in trouble sure enough. You should have told Hal before she carried that trap off,” John scolded.

  “We thought she would see the trap was empty,” Noah said.

  Daniel puzzled, “How could she not see the trap was empty?”

  Noah and John shrugged.

  John said, “I think we better go check on her.”

  Hal laid the rifle on the ground. She'd have to take the sheet off to open the trap. What if that skunk wasn't dead? Maybe she missed it. The skunk would pew her.

  She'd just throw the trap, skunk and all in the gully. The boys could go get it later. She picked the trap up.

  “Hal, you all recht?” John asked. He tried not to smile when he saw the bullet holes in the sheet.

  Noah put his hand over his mouth. His eyes twinkled when he winked at Daniel.

  Daniel frowned. He feared in a minute they wouldn't think this was so funny when Mama Hal was mad at them.

  Hal whirled around. Tears streamed down her face as she set the trap on the ground. “John, now what do I do? I shot the skunk twice, but I have to figure out how to get him out of the trap. I don't know if I killed him. The poor thing might be in pain, suffering because I shot him.”

  John put his arms around Hal so she could see his face. He winked at the boys. “I do not see how you could have missed at such close range.”

  “We can empty the trap for you, Mama Hal,” Noah said eagerly.

  Daniel stared hard at his brother. “Noah?”

  Noah elbowed him and gave a slight shake of his head. “Come on, Daniel. Mama
Hal was brave to do this much. We will get rid of the skunk for her.”

  “Sure enough,” Daniel declared, catching on to Noah's notion. He picked up the trap with the sheet still covering it.

  Stepping away from John, Hal confessed, “I was going to dump him in the gully.”

  “A gute place to take the skunk,” Noah said. “Go with me, Daniel.”

  John took the rifle from her. “Come on, Hal. You need to take a bath before breakfast. You do not smell pretty gute.” He put his arm around her waist and walked down the pasture lane.

  When they passed the tool shed, Biscuit's frantic barking made Hal remember. “John, we have to go back to get the skunk. The vet will need the brain to test for rabies so we can let that poor dog be free again.”

  “I did forget. You go on in and take your bath. I will tell the boys to bring the skunk back here for the vet,” John told her as he turned to go back down the lane.

  He met the boys. “Where did you really throw the skunk? The vet has to come get the brain for testing.”

  “We know,” Noah said. “We threw the skunk behind the tool shed. I was going to call the vet as soon as we finished chores.”

  “How's Mama Hal?” Daniel asked.

  “Very unhappy with herself, but she remembered we needed the skunk brought back to the house. She sent me to tell you to fetch it,” John said.

  At breakfast, Nora and Aunt Tootie praised her for her bravery to get rid of the beast that trampled her flowers and dug holes in her flower bed. Both women darted scalding looks at Noah and Daniel for being so mean and watched them squirm for making Hal get rid of the skunk.

  That morning while the boys helped fix fence, Noah said to his father, “I think we better tell Mama Hal we got rid of the skunk. She might feel better if she knows she did not shoot the animal.”

  “We did not know she was going to take it so hard when she thought she killed the skunk,” Daniel said.

  “You better give this more thought, boys. In a few days, the scent will be gone. The women will have other things on their minds, and Hal will forget about the skunk,” Jim cautioned.

  “But, Dawdi, …,” Noah started.

  John put a warning hand up. “Jim is recht. Hal will not like knowing you boys played a mean joke on her. She is better off thinking she killed the skunk even though it hurts her.”