HDU

by India Lee

  “Is it working?”

  He took a drink. “We’ll go,” he said simply.

  Amanda nodded with suppressed satisfaction. “I just need to find something to wear,” she said, biting a nail, not trying to appear as coy as she did. Liam rolled his eyes.

  “What, is this the part where the makeover happens? I thought the point was to keep you ugly,” he said. When the smile fell from Amanda’s once-again stony face, he laughed so hard he was compelled to give her knee a little squeeze. “Kidding. We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Just never make that face again.”

  WHO IS LIAM’S MYSTERY GIRL?

  Pop Dinner

  January 11

  Can anyone identify Liam Brody’s new female companion?

  Questions about the young brunette’s identity have been circling the web since this evening, when pictures surfaced of 25-year-old Brody at Columbia Regional Airport in Missouri, accompanied by a twenty-something female with reddish-brown hair wearing a turquoise dress. Her height – and let’s be honest, quite a few other features – suggest she isn’t a model, so who is the young woman and what is her relationship to Hollywood’s favorite lothario? Fact checkers have confirmed that Brody has no sisters, but perhaps she’s simply a cousin. As hilariously strange as it would be, let’s be honest, the girl does not look like any love of Liam’s.

  Amanda leaned back against her patterned headboard, buried in plush white sheets and staring into space as she attempted to compose a post for HDU. Liam had put her up in a room at The Crosby Street Hotel. Judging by the location and décor, Amanda knew it had to be pricey, but as Ian said, “We’re going to give him a lot of love on HDU, so it’s totally worth it.”

  The scenery outside the window was enough to keep her distracted and excitable. Daytime provided an entirely different view of Manhattan that Amanda found just as if not more spectacular. The sidewalks were busy, full of life and style that she had never really seen before. Since arriving at her hotel the night before, she had been somewhat stressed about her first official date with Liam – she had already begun to brace herself around him, being so easily irked by his words – but now she couldn’t wait to get out of her room to shop and eat and most importantly, explore.

  “Come on, let’s finish this so we can get lunch,” Ian said, sitting against the green wall of her room. “Let’s make it good though, so he doesn’t skimp on dinner tonight. The dessert at Lilac is the shit.”

  Amanda raised her eyebrows. “You’ve been there, Fancypants?”

  “With my parents when I was a kid.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet.”

  “Yeah, once upon a time, they cared about me,” Ian laughed tartly. He flashed her the screen of his iPad, his eyebrows suddenly wiggling like worms. “Look. This commenter on Celeb-O-Matic said ‘the guy in the sunglasses and hoodie is hot.’ Ka-ching. Getting closer.”

  Amanda laughed. “Congratulations,” she said. Before Ian could ask, she hastily added, “I’m still not looking at what they say about me and I don’t want you to tell me, thanks.”

  Ian groaned. “Fine. But it’s mostly nice stuff. And you’re just prolonging the inevitable. You’ll have to read once HDUers start commenting.”

  It was true, and they were the harshest critics of them all. “I’ll mentally prepare myself by then,” Amanda said stubbornly.

  “Oh, okay, so between now and five minutes? Is that why you’re taking forever on that thing?”

  “I’m just trying to make it sound believable. I have to stay a tough critic at first, I can’t just do a complete one-eighty,” Amanda said. “I’ll be fully convinced about him after three or four more posts. And if I am, everyone will be.”

  Ian tapped his head before pointing at her and making a sly face. “You’re smart, Pretty. This is going to be good.”

  Amanda grinned. “I think so,” she agreed as she published the post.

  BREAKING: LIAM BRODY SPOTTED WITH GIRL OF TOTALLY AVERAGE HEIGHT AND LOOKS

  January 12 11:27AM

  Posted by PrettyKitty29

  HDU via The Pop Source

  At this point, no one is surprised when playboy Liam Brody jumps from one relationship to the next in just a matter of weeks. However, Brody’s alleged new romance presents an inconsistency in the actor’s prior dating record – his new lady is no model or starlet. In fact, she’s so below the Hollywood radar that she’s yet to be identified!

  The only existing clue about the mystery woman is that she may be from Missouri, where Brody was visiting to research a role. While onlookers at Columbia Regional Airport alleged that the pair was holding hands before their flight to New York, no other proof has surfaced that these two are in fact a couple. But if they are? Movie fans are dubious.

  “Liam Brody has a type, and it’s been well-documented,” says Jessie Olm of Pop Rock Gossip. “Maybe he’ll shock us and announce that this unknown is his new girlfriend, but I think I speak for the rest of Hollywood when I say that I highly doubt it.”

  The most recent photos of the nameless brunette show her leaving Brody’s apartment at late evening, after arriving there approximately two hours prior. Thus far, Brody and his rep have been unreachable for comment.

  TOP COMMENTS:

  Kitster629

  lol that’s definitely his maid tho

  ishipbeeler

  um why is this even a question? they’re obv not dating if she weighs over 100 lbs… which from the looks of these pictures she deffffinitely does….

  It was like pulling teeth as Ian sat across from Amanda at a crowded French bistro on Spring Street. She only laughed at his frustrations as she poured extra milk and sugar in her coffee.

  “There had to be one thing that you dreamt of as a kid,” Ian said, his chicken liver and foie gras mousse untouched as he interrogated her. “One thing that you always, always dreamt of being. Anything. Something stupid, like an actress.”

  “What’s stupid about wanting to be an actress?”

  “Low probability of success?” he answered. “Degrading yourself by auditioning for tampon commercials? Selling your soul or doing something stupid like reality TV?”

  “Ah,” Amanda nodded, opting not to ask if he was talking about Natalie. She sighed and gave a helpless shrug. “Well, I still don’t know. I’ve honestly never known what I wanted in a career. I guess I’m talentless?”

  “No, we’ll find something. Something interesting to say you do,” Ian said adamantly before finally taking a bite of food. “Because when a blog finally identifies you and everyone in the world Googles your name, you should have something to show them. If you’ve got no results, they start forgetting about you right there and then.”

  “I feel like I ask you this a lot, but how do you know all this again?”

  Ian shrugged. “It’s just a matter of being prepared for opportunity,” he said. “I carry my camera with me everywhere in case there’s something interesting to film, and I’ve had my own website since I was eighteen, in case someone important checks out a trailer and is interested in giving me a job.” He laughed. “Of course that hasn’t happened in the six years that it’s been up, but at least I’ll have it once someone identifies the kid in the hoodie and sunglasses. Which better happen.”

  Amanda raised her eyebrows, impressed. “That does make sense.”

  Ian smiled, relieved by her agreement. “We’ll just start slow. We’ll make you a website and a Twitter today because by the end of your date tonight, someone’s bound to have you identified.”

  “True,” Amanda nodded, surprised that her own mother hadn’t already called the press to confirm her name. Or even Tandy Mueller, who probably would do so and then try to sell additional stories about alleged meth use.

  “You know what,” Amanda said suddenly. “If no one identifies me by tonight, we’ll leak the info ourselves on HDU. They’ll believe that we got an exclusive, we’ve done it before,” she pointed out, though the only other exclusive HDU had ever published was a post of a
n underage starlet drinking, the photo having been snapped personally by one of their users. The site wasn’t known for having the scoop, but it certainly wasn’t out of the question that they could.

  “Alright, I’m with you on that plan,” Ian said, raising his champagne pick-me-up only to remember that Amanda wasn’t drinking. He clinked his glass against her coffee cup, the giddy smile returning to his face. “Then here’s to the start of our fame by tonight.”

  ~

  The date at Lilac was scheduled for eight-thirty in the evening, but by seven, Amanda still hadn’t heard from Liam. It was still unknown as to when he planned to pick her up or whether they would be “figuring out” what to do with her wardrobe. She had decided not to make Ian shop with her because Liam had alluded to helping with that situation the night before. Amanda figured he would tip off the paparazzi to make a shopping trip with her worth it. But by 7:30PM, Liam was still MIA and she was forced to start preparing some sort of backup ensemble.

  Wearing all black tricks people into thinking you’re chic, right? Amanda stood up straight before her reflection in the mirror but groaned. Not so much. Her black sweater dress was ratty and pilled, her matching tights already loose at the knees. She couldn’t help but wonder if Liam was punishing her for requesting Lilac by forcing her to go looking like a hobo. It was a worrying thought. Amanda had intended to look sufficiently plain for the tabloids, but never grotesque, which she imagined would be the case among the Lilac crowd full of models and actors.

  If Liam would simply pick up his phone, she would know whether she had time to go pick up something from a boutique. But alas, he was unreachable and her existing wardrobe was beyond saving. She had already excluded most of it while packing, but even the pieces that had made it to New York were hopeless. Some of them had been in her closet since early high school.

  “They’re good for nostalgia, but not actual wearing,” Ian had laughed that afternoon, taking pictures of the messy garments strewn all over the room. Amanda had emptied them from her suitcase in frustration, chucking every last sock and ugly sweater over her shoulder with vexation. But there was some good to be made of her tantrum. Ian decided that a few of the photos – one of an old shearling coat, another of a Merit High School sweatshirt – were worthy of Instagram and blog posts for her new website.

  Their afternoon and early evening following lunch had been spent back at the hotel, buying a domain and constructing a website from Ian’s faint knowledge of computers. He managed to produce a simple but rather appealing homepage featuring Amanda’s full name before the image of a henbit field. The photo of the purple henbits was one that Amanda had snapped herself last spring. The plants were common weeds back at home, but she found them beautiful anyway and an easy decision for the backdrop of her site. The final additions to the page were some photographs that Ian had snapped of Merit from his iPhone. Altogether, the elements gave off a dreamy and sweet but somewhat mysterious feeling.

  Amanda gazed at it on her computer screen, letting it distract her from her date night frustrations. However the page quickly reminded her of a façade, a hollow shell trying to pass itself off as something important. Amanda shut her laptop, forcing herself not to reopen it like a Pandora’s box of insecurities. Don’t tempt yourself, she thought. After all, she still hadn’t read the comments on the HDU post about Liam and herself, still fearful of what the users might be saying. All she had allowed was for Ian to give her a summary, which he had phrased in a text as “nothing crazy – everyone thinks you’re the housekeeper.” It actually made Amanda laugh. They’ll be in for a surprise after tonight, she grinned.

  Though with that thought, she was reminded to look once again at her clock. Just as she realized that it was eight on the dot, Amanda heard the front door of the hotel room swing open.

  “Who’s there?” she immediately asked, grabbing something, anything to use as a weapon before freezing in fear. Her body practically crumpled in relief when she saw Liam enter her bedroom.

  “Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you?” he laughed, taking the beaded necklace out of her hands. “What, you were going to strangle me with this?”

  Amanda stared, not even realizing what an ineffective weapon she’d chosen. She then turned her eyes on him and his infuriating amusement. “God!” she suddenly huffed, surprising herself by smacking him on the chest.

  “What – ? Stop it, you freak,” Liam laughed, controlling both her hands with just one of his. She tried to wriggle free from his grip but it tightened effortlessly around her. “Why are you hitting me?” he asked.

  Amanda calmed, realizing that she was in fact hitting him, and that it was mostly unwarranted. “Because,” she sputtered.

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Because number one, you kept me waiting around cluelessly and number two, you just barged into my hotel room like some crazy intruder!”

  Liam let go of her hands, delighting in her fury. “I booked this room. I have a key and I can technically come in whenever I want.”

  “That’s not true,” Amanda contested. “That’s wrong, that’s… perverted,” she said, still too flustered to be eloquent. Liam let out a hearty laugh.

  “Don’t worry, I have zero interest in walking in on you changing.”

  “Screw you!” Amanda blurted, immediately covering her mouth with her hands. She felt officially embarrassed and additionally unsure of where her emotions had come from. Liam only raised his eyebrows, rather entertained.

  “Do you want me to walk in on you changing? I can.”

  “Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

  He relented, guiding her by the elbows to her bed and sitting her down. “What? Are you upset about what your HDUers said about you?” he asked.

  “What’d they say about me?”

  Liam’s smile faltered. “What?”

  “What’d they say about me?” Amanda repeated.

  “You should know. You posted it.”

  “I went out with Ian before the comments started,” Amanda said. She eyed her laptop but as if reading her mind, Liam snatched it off her desk.

  “Let’s go. We’re already late,” he said, no longer smiling, looking a little dull and exasperated. Amanda ignored him and stood up defiantly. She gripped the edges of her laptop, playing with him a losing but relentless game of tug-of-war. “Stop it, Amanda,” Liam said, annoyed.

  “Give it to me, it’s mine,” she grunted, recognizing her childish tone. Liam rolled his eyes and let go, sending her falling back onto the bed. She ignored how silly her flailing legs looked and opened up her laptop, navigating straight to the post and its comments. She read them.

  “not a gf for sure. prob the maid. she’s got the uniform.”

  “ewww wtf am i looking at?!?”

  “if liam brody were to try dating non-models, he def wouldn’t start with this girl. take it one step at a time, buddy!”

  “lol someone needs a stylist. and makeup. and a gym membership.”

  Amanda stared, each comment seeming worse than the next with very few about Liam himself. It seemed that everyone was just in awe of her. Her unremarkable looks – her ugly looks. She swallowed hard and tried to recall if she had been wearing enough makeup that day.

  “I don’t know if you know this, but there are a lot of idiots on your website,” Liam said, leaning against her dresser. “The only reason it’s popular is because there are so many comments, and the only reason it has so many comments is because those people are always home doing nothing.”

  Amanda didn’t bother explaining that the comments were from users she liked, certain she’d cry if she opened her mouth to speak. That would be the ultimate embarrassment.

  Liam heaved a sigh, rolling his neck. “So do you still want to go out or do you want to stay here?”

  Amanda paused. She honestly wanted to go out – she was in New York for God’s sake – but she didn’t want to give the gossip world any more ammo. There were thousands – maybe tens of thousands �
� of people dissecting her every flaw at that very second, tweeting about her ugly dress, messaging links of her photos to their friends so they could all have a laugh together. It was absolutely terrifying to think about.

  But at the same time, she knew that staying in would be accepting defeat. If the world never saw her face again, their last memory would be of her wearing an ugly blue dress that apparently looked like a maid’s uniform. Before she could tell Liam that she simply needed to go shopping first, he whipped off his sweater.

  “What are you doing?” she blurted before realizing that he wore a white T-shirt underneath. He laughed, that stupid, smug laugh that seemed reserved just for her.

  “Catch,” he said, tossing her the sweater. “Girls are supposed to look good in guy clothing.”

  Amanda stared at him and then the cashmere V-neck in her hands. Looking good in menswear seemed like a trait that only waifs and models possessed, but the black material was so thin and soft that it actually inspired some kind of hope. She looked up at Liam. “You need to leave the room,” she said, not meaning to sound as short as she did.

  “Not even a problem,” he responded, managing to annoy and comfort her at the same time.

  - Chapter 5 -

  A crowd spilled outside the doors of the West Village hotspot, waiting to be seated in the bitter New York cold. Upon noticing Liam, members of the herd murmured and nudged one another but refused to appear openly giddy. At Lilac, they were supposed to be accustomed to the sight of celebrities.

  “Don’t look like that,” Liam said, referring to the apologetic glances that Amanda gave the crowd as he pulled her through them and into the restaurant. The dimly lit space was packed and busy, but it didn’t stop both hostesses from rushing to make a greeting.

  “Hello, Mr. Brody,” one managed to say before the other, subtly straightening the black mini dress on her long and slender frame. “Your table is ready for you.”