Mostly Caleb kept his eyes on the trail as he stepped over tree roots and navigated a few steady declines, but Paige caught him examining her a few times, his brow low, worried.
Finally he spoke, softly. “I’m sorry about this.”
“About what?” Paige turned her head to meet his eyes. Yikes! Too close. Only a few inches away, if she wanted to she could lay her head on his shoulder or rest her forehead against the side of his face. Or kiss his cheek.
Not good.
He glanced at her for the umpteenth time. “I shouldn’t have told you to go on the beach without your shoes. If I hadn’t—”
Every muscle in her body stiffened. “Excuse me. I must be going crazy, because I thought I just heard you try to take the blame for my foot getting barely hurt.”
The side of his jaw popped. “It is—”
“And I know you wouldn’t do that because a random accident can’t be anyone’s fault. Hence the word accident.” She tapped on his shoulder.
He now focused on the path. “But I told you not to put your shoes on.”
“Last time I checked, I’m a grown adult and I make my own choices. You’re not allowed to take the blame for this or anything else that ever happens to me. Got it?”
“But—”
“No. End of discussion. I made a choice, and I got hurt. The end.” Paige fought the urge to push out of his hold. Piling unneeded guilt onto his own plate over something so silly. The nerve.
Thankfully they’d reached the parking lot or else she would have sprung from his hold and stomped away—bleeding foot notwithstanding.
Caleb must have left his truck unlocked because he opened the passenger door and set her down on the seat without having to pull out his keys.
“One second,” he mumbled. He rounded the truck, opened a tub in the back and pulled out a beach towel. “This is clean. Promise.” He wrapped it around her injured foot. Hopefully it would stop any more blood.
After starting up the truck and maneuvering out of the park, Caleb fiddled with the temperature controls. Paige caught him stealing worried glances at her.
At the stoplight, he scrubbed his hand over his face. “I can’t help feeling like this shouldn’t have happened. We should have gone right back to Maggie’s. If I hadn’t suggested the dunes then—”
“It’s not your fault.” Paige let out an exasperated breath. Had it been Bryan with her, he would have blamed her for being careless. Then again, Caleb saying it was his fault proved almost more annoying. “Stop making a big deal about this. If I had been alone right now, I would have put my shoes and socks on and gone home. No big deal.”
“I know you said...but I’m replaying it in my mind. You started to put your shoes on and I told you not to. What would it have cost me to wait another minute?”
“Okay. I don’t know how everyone around you stands it, but I’m sick of this.” She crossed her arms and turned in her seat to face him more. “Let’s get one thing straight.”
From talking to Maggie and Shelby, and from things Caleb said, he had a bad habit of claiming guilt and piling it up on his shoulders. Only to drag him down unnecessarily. It was ridiculous. The whole town might take it easy on him. They could all keep their secret promise of solidarity in pity. They could all just let Caleb continue on, never growing through their challenges, but Paige wouldn’t stand for that.
“Nothing that has or will happen to me is your fault.”
“Paige,” he groaned.
“Don’t talk. I haven’t lived here that long, but I’ve already noticed how much this whole town coddles you.” She held up both her hands in the stop gesture when he tried to speak. “Well, I’m not going to let you lay claim to responsibilities that aren’t yours just so you can live under your little black rain cloud feeling bad for things that had nothing to do with you.”
Caleb stared out the windshield and focused on the road ahead as if he drove through a snowstorm instead of a cloudless, early-fall sunset. Maybe calling him a black rain cloud had gone too far. After all, he usually seemed happy and willing to joke. It wasn’t like he walked around town moping. More that everyone treated him like he should. Like he might suddenly break.
Surrounded by potted mums, the sign for Goose Harbor Immediate Care seemed more cheerful than it should.
“Why are we here?” Paige balked.
“Stay in the seat. I don’t want you trying to walk on that foot until we have it checked out. Please, humor me on this.” Caleb pulled into the nearest open spot, shut his door harder than normal and rounded the truck to get her.
An elderly nurse, capped with a cloudy puff of white hair and a tight smile, showed them to a small exam room. She sported a purple smock covered with giraffes wearing sunglasses. The nurse inspected the cut and muttered under her breath as she wrapped the foot in a loose piece of gauze. She took Paige’s vitals before assuring them the doctor would be in soon.
Caleb fiddled with the magazines on a side table in the closet-size room. “There’s a Bible here.” He offered her the worn book. When she didn’t take it right away, he sat back down and leafed through the pages. “It might help take your mind off your foot.”
Paige bit her lip. “Honestly? I have the hardest time reading the Bible sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be good at it, but I feel like it’s this impossible puzzle that doesn’t even make sense.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.” His fingers moved over the Bible in a light caress. “For a time...I used to hate reading it. Then one day it hit me.” He closed the book. “Do you like to get letters in the mail?”
“I’ve always wanted one—a real one.” She shifted on the exam table, making the white cover paper crinkle. “My whole life I’ve never gotten a letter.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“I got junk mail and bills and everything like that. But a handwritten note addressed to me? Nope.”
“Really? Well, I promise I’ll send you one someday.” He tapped the Bible again, back on track. “If you had gotten one, wouldn’t you have treasured it? You wouldn’t have gone to your mailbox only to decide not to open it or said ‘I’ll read that later.’ Am I right?”
“Are you kidding me?” She sat up a little straighter. “I would have run with it to my bedroom and ripped the envelope open and savored every word. Back in the day, I would have tacked it to the board above my desk.”
He laughed, his eyes lighting up. “Okay, and it probably would have been tenfold that if it was a love letter.”
She nodded. Yes, it would have been nice to receive a real love letter. Maybe someday.
“Here’s the kicker—this book here, this is a letter that God wrote to you. It’s a love letter. I figure each day I choose not to spend time reading what He’s written me would be like getting a letter in the mail and deciding not to open it.”
“That’s a neat way to look at it.” Paige reached for the Bible and flipped the pages so it fanned out in her lap. “I like it.”
“No charge. That one’s free today.”
Their gazes met and held.
Wrong move.
She shoved her hands under her thighs to keep them from reaching out for his hand.
Despite the confusion slowly creeping into her heart, she couldn’t risk falling for another man again. Even a seemingly nice one whose voice calmed her and who treated her gently was out of the question. Because when push came to shove, even though he was nice about it, Caleb was just one more controlling man. He could say he was keeping her from danger, but overreacting about the cut reminded her of the truth. She wasn’t about to chance another man making her feel like Bryan had, which is why she’d constructed such a stronghold over her heart.
So much for impenetrable.
All it h
ad taken was a kind man with warm eyes and a determined will to swoop right on in. She had to protect her heart better. Fairy tales that involve handsome and gallant men like Caleb didn’t last long in real life.
She turned her head to shoo away the buzzing thoughts.
A soft knock at the door saved her from any more conversation. An older doctor looked over her foot before starting a slow process of dabbing at the cut to clean it. “You’re fortunate—the glass didn’t cut you deep at all. In fact, this doesn’t need stitches. Looks like I can apply antibacterial cream and a bandage and you’ll be right as rain.”
Paige shot Caleb a told-you-so look.
The doctor opened a drawer and pulled out a sample tube of cream. He handed it to Paige. “The foot has a lot of capillaries in it so any sort of cut will bleed a lot. Just keep it clean for the next few days. I’d say no socks until Wednesday. Other than that, you can use it as normal.”
“So I can go running?” Paige gingerly slipped her tennis shoe onto the injured foot and then stuffed her socks in her pocket.
The doctor nodded. “It’s a basic surface cut. Let pain be your guide, but I’d say by Wednesday you’ll be fine to jog on it.” He touched the screen of a computer tablet he carried and looked over the information. “Looks like you had a tetanus booster not that long ago, so we don’t even need to do that. If you don’t have any questions you’re good to go.”
Caleb didn’t offer to carry her out to the truck, but he did hold open every door along the way. Without his assistance, Paige climbed into the truck’s cab, albeit, quite ungracefully.
With the keys still dangling from his hand, Caleb stared out the window, a glazed-over look in his eyes.
He cleared his throat. “I need to get better at this.”
“At what?” Paige buckled her seat belt.
Caleb adjusted to face her. She swallowed hard, biting the edge of her lip, trying to focus on anything but tumbling headfirst into that delicious liquid-chocolate stare.
“You were right—what you said about the people in town. They coddle me. I don’t like it. I’ve noticed that they treat me differently, but I never could pinpoint the right word for it.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“But you’re right. They watch me like I’m a dormant volcano that could come to life at any moment.” He braced a hand on his head. “I’m not an angry person...I’ve never been someone like that. So if they’re not worried about an eruption, then it’s that they’re worried I’m going to fall apart, and that’s worse. Much worse.”
“Hey,” Paige whispered, and instinctively rested her hand on his knee. “You’ve been through a lot. I don’t think anyone blames you for acting like that.”
His hand dropped so it covered hers. The touch seemed to ground him. With their hands still touching, he leaned his head back on the seat rest. “I need to stop trying to control outcomes for the people I care about.”
She straightened up in her seat. It was like he’d been listening in on her thoughts.
“I’m not good at talking about spiritual stuff, but the way I see it is that God cares about those people way more than you do, and they’re in His hands. You have to trust them to His care.”
“And if they die?” He turned his head her way.
“Then you keep on trusting them to His care.”
They drove back to the inn without turning on the radio.
Caleb glanced at her, almost as if he was nervous to talk. “You go on inside and I’ll take care of your boxes. I know you and the doctor think I’m overreacting, but I’d feel better if you didn’t put extra weight on that foot tonight.”
“Actually, I’m tired, so I’m going to take you up on that offer.”
He put the car in Park and relaxed his hold on the wheel as she opened the passenger-side door. “I just wanted to say that even though we haven’t known each other long, I’m thankful to have you in my life.”
Paige nodded and took a step back into the shadows to mask the grateful tears that threatened to fall. “I’m thankful for you, too.”
And she was.
Chapter Eleven
Caleb watched the steam rise from his coffee mug and caught Maggie staring at him from the other side of the booth. After running into her at church, they’d decided to stop by Cherry Top for lunch together.
“I know that expression, Mags.” He gripped the coffee mug. Too hot. “What are you cooking up in that mind of yours?”
She dabbed her mouth with one of the thin napkins from the small box on the table. “I’m thinking I know you too well.”
He blew on his coffee before taking a sip. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Maggie leaned forward. “It means I know you like Paige, so don’t you go trying to deny it.”
Like Paige? He hadn’t considered feelings until now.
Okay, that wasn’t true. He’d known yesterday when he held her in his arms outside her childhood home that he was already in deep. Feelings had grown before he’d known they were there. Hearing about her past hurts when they were at the beach had only served to further strengthen the bond he felt with her.
With her clean girl-next-door looks and bright blue eyes, it would have been difficult not to like Paige. His mind leafed through files of images in his head—the first day he met her, tearstained and helpless, to her refusing to back down to him about Sarah’s Home. The picture shouldn’t fit, but maybe that’s why she appealed to him. There was more to her than a need for a man. Paige had an independence that allowed Caleb to let down his guard around her. Besides yesterday with her ex-fiancé, he didn’t have to protect her or do anything for her. She didn’t need him, but somehow that made him like her more.
Caleb glanced at the ceiling. The spackle looked like white measles. Then he met Maggie’s eyes and let out a long, deep breath. “Sure I like her. What’s not to like?”
“Do you really mean that?” Maggie wore a goofy grin and bounced in her seat.
Caleb rested his hand on the back of the booth cushion. “She’s great with the students, and even though I don’t want her coming to Sarah’s Home, when she’s there and at the high school, she’s always willing to pitch in with any type of work. She’s thoughtful and doesn’t just talk for the sake of talking.” He paused.
“Like how I do all the time?” Maggie laughed.
Maggie and Shelby both talked a mile a minute and often for no other benefit than to fill the airspace and avoid silence. As much as he loved them both, the constant chatter sometimes wore on him. However, Paige seemed comfortable with silence. Which was refreshing.
He ignored Maggie. “Know what else I appreciate about Paige? When she talks to me she’s not worried about hurting my feelings and there’s no pity in her actions.”
Maggie’s smile fell. “I don’t—”
“You do.”
Maggie snaked a hand toward his and covered it for a moment on the table. “I’m sorry. Truly. It’s just...when it first happened, I didn’t know what to say, and it kept being like that.”
“I know you don’t do it on purpose.” Caleb slipped his hand away and leaned back against the booth. “Everyone in town does it. To them, I’m defined by what happened on one day of my life. There is nothing else they think when they look at me.”
“I don’t know if that’s true.” Even as she spoke, Maggie gave him the look a person gives an old dog with an under bite who’s just been surrendered to an animal shelter.
He looked out the window at the ship masts bobbing in the marina. “It feels true. But Paige doesn’t look at me that way. In fact, I think she’s the only one with the gumption to go toe-to-toe with me. It’s refreshing.”
“Are you going to ask her out?”
“No. I couldn’t.” He straightened and looked back at Maggie. “It’s not like that.”
“Why not?”
“Paige deserves better, and besides, I don’t have the available time to give to a relationship or a woman in order to make her a priority. A woman like Paige should have that. Between my time at school and church and Sarah’s Home—I can’t give her a relationship in the way she deserves.” Caleb shifted in his seat. He had said too much already.
Shelby always told him that a person makes time for what they value. And she was right. If Caleb looked honestly at his time, he’d already started placing value on the moments spent with Paige. Between finding reasons to stop by her classroom, swinging by Maggie’s on a daily basis and seeking her out at Sarah’s Home, Paige was already a priority in his life.
Caleb had to face the facts—he was considering starting a new relationship. A month ago he would have said that would never happen. How had Paige worked her way into his mind and heart in the past few weeks without his permission?
“Listen.” He tossed a few bills on the table and scooted out of the booth. “Don’t talk about this to anyone. Especially not to Paige. Okay, Mags...I know how you are. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
Maggie walked out the front door with him and grabbed his elbow before they parted ways for the day. “Paige has been through a lot, too. She’s broken like you are, but I really believe you two would fit well together. Just be patient with her, okay? She’s going to be really slow to trust a man and she needs time.”
He yanked the baseball hat out of his back pocket and put it on. “Like I said, I’m not going to act on anything I just told you.”
“Trust me.” Maggie winked at him. “You will.”
Caleb jammed his hands into his pockets and took the long route home. Perhaps it was time to date again. He’d made peace with Sarah’s memory a long time ago. He didn’t believe dating meant he was betraying her memory—that was never how Sarah had been. She would have encouraged him to find love and a family more than a year ago.
Love Inspired August 2014 – Bundle 1 of 2 Page 56